thecatrical

[thecatrical]

We’ll have to do dinner Thursday night instead.

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Josh couldn’t take it anymore, the face was driving him mad. So he devised a plan to get to the center of it.

He sat in a chair surrounded by his friends, they could help him if anything happens.

Josh closes his eyes.

Everything goes dark, the familiar comforting darkness he had long missed. A second passed and he saw it, that terrible face that had haunted people to the point of death.

It stared at him, it’s cold lifeless eyes peering into his very soul. Looking closer he could make out every detail of its face, the veins, the cold grey of the skin, the cracks on its lips, the greasy slicked back hair, the ears that were oddly small for its wide face.

It got closer

Josh’s throat tightened, his breathing became labored, terror filled his mind and he couldn’t open his eyes

It got closer

He tried to signal his friends to pull him out, to wake him up, to do anything, but he couldn’t move his body

It got closer

He was hyperventilating, he couldn’t form cohesive thoughts

It was so close he could make out the details in its irises

It’s foul lips opened to say something, revealing cracked teeth and a dry tongue

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty”

All over the world, whenever people close their eyes, for no matter how long they are closed, they are no longer greeted by the familiar comfort of expected darkness. They all just see the same unnerving face staring at them. Unblinking and smiling. Uncomfortably close.

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“Finally, I can finish my college essay”

“There is a certain amount of caffeine that induces cardiac arrest. I have found that amount and removed a single nanogram from it. This is, mathematically, the strongest coffee in existence.”

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Fix it fics are just character retirement communities

“This character is dead in canon” to you. They’re dead in canon to you. To me they’re fine

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Yes!!! Non-binary is YOUR gender identity, no one else is allowed to tell you how YOU should express it

When I say nonbinary people can look like anything I am aggressively including nonbinary people who have beards, body hair, and who are assumed to be cis guys, firstly because that’s also me and secondly because we’re always overlooked or subjected to cringe culture. Nonbinary doesn’t just mean skinny, pale and absent of gender signifiers.

[Don’t be an ass in the notes, I can turn off comments if I have to]

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I think you mean the best trope

THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING IN THE WORLD IS WHEN A CARTOON CHARACTER IS LOCKED IN A CELL OR CAGE OF SOME KIND AND THE BARS ARE LIKE

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I mean, let’s be honest: when’s the last time you heard of someone actually teaching their son how to take care of himself beyond 2 in 1 shampoo and deodorant?

SOME MEN DONT WASH THEIR ASSES?

WHAT THE FUCK

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Someone tell the astrology girlies

The Curse

Aka Hylia's favourite transmasc gets amnesia and forgets what periods are

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Toph and Azula teaming up to roast people is something i clinically need

The thing is if Azula got redeemed, there would be two girls in the Gaang complaining together that Katara is a sugar queen.

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“Yea boss we got the girl, she’s restrained but we’re all too scared to touch her”

“What? Why”

*in the background* “TIE ONE AROUND MY NECK COWARDS”

the "oh. oh." moment in fan fic but instead of a character realizing they're in love it's them discovering they have a specific kink at the worst possible moment

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Make her a dress with pockets. Not specific to trans girlies, just in general make more dresses with pockets

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You’ve gotta turn it off an on again

If that doesn’t work then give it a good smack and say “that oughta do it”

Newborn babies all have terrible eyesight so that their brains don’t have to process as much information. Which I think is a little bit funny.

Nature was like “Look, we get it. There’s a lot of stuff out here. A lot of pores on your dad’s face. You have no idea what a hand is. Don’t worry about the pores for now. Just figure out, in general, what a hand is and then maybe we”ll pump it up to high res.”

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Looking mighty scrumdiddilyumptious

Another sketch comm I finished! A friend wanted me to redesign the male dancer outfit for FE3H (specifically Felix) and I was very happy to as those outfits are godawful

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I think more of you fuckers need to see this

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Cataclysmic event: bi is told they’re just confused

catastrophic event: aro is told that they’ll find the right person someday

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2023 AWARD FOR INNOVATION AND EXCELLENCE IN THEIR FIELD

receipients:

hyena, for being the first kity to ever be pupy.

fox, for being the first pupy to ever be kity.

JOIN US NEXT YEAR

[thecatrical]

Is it just me or are the new tumblr users convinced there's a penalty of some kind for using this site like it's meant to be used?