thecatitbittingmeee

[thecatitbittingmeee]

what if when Bruce adopted his kids he just. Never told anyone. The public knows about the various Robins, yes, and Hood and Nightwing and all that have followed. But Dick Grayson never made it into Bruce Wayne’s charity gala photos, and Jason Todd’s adoption wasn’t tbr talk of Gotham after it was put in the paper. Little Tim Drake’s disappearance, some time after his family died, was seen as little more than a retreat from fame, and Damian was never announced to be a Wayne.

so you have Batman and his apprentices (former or not) and then just. Brucie Wayne, living in that manor with only his butler to keep him company. Or—so Gotham thinks.

this could either be angsty as shit or hilarious. Since I’m in a crack mood . . . let’s explore option two.

Random reporter: Mister Wayne! Have you ever thought about having children? What will happen to your legacy upon your death? Bruce, who knows full well Tim will take over the company with a competency he does not even want to explore: uh. I’ll probably donate my savings to like, a worthwhile cause Reporter: and what would you call a worthwhile cause? Bruce: *says the first thing that comes to mind* uh Kent Family Farms Reporter: *turns to assistant* WTF is Kent Family Farms assistant: I have absolutely no clue. Someone google it

Gothamite: *sees Jason walking around at a Wayne Gala* oh, hello! And who might you be? *assuming him to be the son of one of the nearby Rich People* Jason: a primitive semblance of humanity built in the image of my former innocent self Gothamite: Jason: Gothamite: Jason: also a crime lord. Gothamite: Jason: those were actually the less mind blowing of the three answers I could have given you, believe it or not

Clark Kent, Reporter: *sees Bruce Wayne next to Dick Grayson at Gala* and who might this be, Mister Wayne? *hoping his Sometimes Friend Bruce will introduce him* Bruce: this is . . . uh . . . Clark: *thinking that he has never seen Bruce so flustered* a boyfriend, perhaps? Bruce: Dick: *horrified gasp* oh my god, do I look old enough for that? Please don’t tell me I look old enough to date him, dude. Please. Clark: *sweats* Bruce: this is . . . Dick: *grinning* a result of a violent and torrid love affair with my mother, an actress, with whom I cut off contact after Bruce promised to buy me a convertible as opposed to the measly Prius she offered me Clark: Clark, internally: what the Fuck Bruce: *puts his head in his hands*

Bruce: *at a JL meeting* well, I have to go. My children are all home sick with colds. Superman: *chokes* your WHAT Wonder Woman: you have children, Batman? you never told us! Bruce: I never told anyone. Hell I’m not sure anyone even knows my second oldest still exists outside the family. Superman: Wonder Woman: Bruce: well, see you *fades mysteriously into the shadows*

[thecatitbittingmeee]

I Am Iron Man Special Poster RDJ ''Iron Man 2008''!

[thecatitbittingmeee]

Oh my god. So similar to my other post where all the Wayne kids find out that Dick was never actually adopted by Bruce.

So imagine they’re all back at the manor, they’re interrogating Bruce on why he never adopted Dick, and Bruce insists he can still adopt Dick now even though he’s an adult, but Dick is getting nervous the more insistent he gets.

And it turns out it’s because he was already adopted by someone else. But it’s another Justice League member.

“What?”

Bruce is speechless. He’s bamboozled. He’s livid.

“HAL, I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” he shouts as he zetas into the watchtower.

“Hal! Abort, abort! Code: Daddy Warbucks!” Dick screeches as he runs in behind Bruce.

Hal is scrambling to leave before Batman can actually beat him to a pulp.

“Dammit, kid, you were supposed to give me way more notice than this!” Hal screeches right back, and he’s already being chased by Bruce. He isn’t even in his Batman get-up, he’s still in his clothes from dinner. He has slippers on.

“You adopted my kid?? When did you adopt my kid?” Bruce is shouting at him.

“You’re the one who kicked him out!” Hal shouts back. “He wasn’t even 16 yet! He needed someone to sign the release forms for the Olympics!”

“HE WAS IN THE OLYMPICS?”

“HAL! THAT WASA SECRET!”

“YOU BATS HAVE TOO MANY SECRETS!”

Idk I just want chaos with Bruce finding out another league member adopted Dick. Hal is an easy target.

[thecatitbittingmeee]

Got any Brian/Hoody doodles that you'd like to share with the world?

I am soooo normal about him I swear :)

Well I'm not normal about him and now I have this

[thecatitbittingmeee]

You should draw more Tim :)

Have more Tim I've been working on

Also a still image version cause the quality as a gif isn't the besttt

[thecatitbittingmeee]

hey here's a website for downloading any video or image from any website.

works w/ youtube, soundcloud, twitch, twitter (gifs and videos), tumblr (video and audio), and most other websites you're probably lookin to download stuff off of.

[thecatitbittingmeee]

One day, I will make this fic.

"5 am me goes buir" except i typed brrr and now all my friends think I have a daddy kink is an actual prompt in my star wars folder for writing and I will never know what led to that moment of intellectual idiocy

[thecatitbittingmeee]

They all

Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.

[thecatitbittingmeee]

Look I haven’t been hardcore into Batman stuff, but I have been on again of again In the fandom, and just DC in general but mainly Batman, for a few years. And let me tell you, there is a plethora of content, you could go to any second hand store and probably find at least a volume or seven of Batfam, the only problem is wether theire written well and like the character you actually like. One minute Batman’s getting better and being a father and the next he’s physically assaulted one of his kids or did something exceptionally stupid for the “greater good”

I like your blog a lots but i don't understand why you feel sorry for new fan who like Bruce, i thought he is your favorite character in the batfam?

Hi there! You’re probably referring to when I say something like “if you like Bruce, RIP.” Totally fair question. I’m mainly referring to how inconsistently he’s been written and just how much of a mess he is in general. We Bruce fans are spoiled for content and being a Bruce fan is fun as hell.

I love the Bat. But he’s also a disaster and could use some therapy.

[thecatitbittingmeee]

It’s all fun and games till theires an actual frog in your mug

Can I see a show of hands from people that think we should bring this back please.

[thecatitbittingmeee]

I stg yakuza Naruto Au’s got me in a choke hold

🏵The humble yakuza & the fiery medic in Edo period🏵

Mafia/Yakuza Au (Day 3) @shisakuweek

[thecatitbittingmeee]

Ok, but like as someone who’s

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[thecatitbittingmeee]

That's a pretty famous rom-com among Konoha's people tbh

[thecatitbittingmeee]

This reminds me so much of howl and Calcifer from Howls moving castle

here on coruscant seeing stars is a privilege of the few

[thecatitbittingmeee]

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

[thecatitbittingmeee]

thinking about my AU again where bruce and clark find little kon in a lab when they snuck in to investigate and immediately bruce is attached and wants to take him home despite clark’s hesitance and now They Are Parents.

Kon is a tiny little guy. like 3-5, maybe??? only a few years old. but he recognizes clark and has been Taught that superman is his Dad so he gets super excited when he sees Clark show up in his red and blue uniform.

He’s bouncing around his little tank in excitement to see him in person for the first time.

Clark definitely has some. Thoughts and Feelings. about the fact that he was cloned without his knowledge/consent. but he doesn’t have time to dig in to that, because Bruce is already busting the kid out of the tank and deciding they’re keeping him.