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[theboilingegghead]

Foreword.

I have about 3 months worth of summer break to burn. And instead of preparing for the next year of University, the smart person that I am chose to write scathing scat-tier reviews of eateries that serves scat-tier food. Of course, I will also be writing about praise-worthy places.

The places I will be writing about are largely located in the Puchong area, and because I lived here pretty much all my life and as a result, ate a lot of what the area had to offer.

Eating......Puchong?

Yea in case you didn’t notice, it’s a shitty pun based off “eating pussy”. If you’re also wondering what the DP of this blog is supposed to be, now you have your answer.

Where exactly is Puchong?

What do you mean you don’t speak maps?

In words, Puchong is a town in Selangor, Malaysia. With the Serdang Police Headquarters as a reference, it is about 20 minutes away from Sunway Pyramid, 30 minutes from Kuala Lumpur.

Hot spots in Puchong are a plenty. Though it has been relegated to a second-class shopping mall as of late, IOI Mall is a pretty well known place to go to for movies and general shopping. Across the Mall is IOI Boulevard, formerly a nighttime hot spot, it really ain’t shit nowadays. However, the area around it, Jalan Kenari comprises of very well known and solid restaurants. Parking is the biggest concern at the area at pretty much any time of the day.

Further up the LDP highway is the entrance to Bandar Puteri, where shops go out of business as often as they go into business. The area is twice as competitive as the Jalan Kenari area with twice as many well known restaurants. And of course, parking is an even bigger problem at the area.

Recently, the shoplots near the BK5 Giant hypermarket had begun to take massive leaps in variety and quality, a product of recent developments at the area along with an improved transport system. And since I live quite close to that area, you would see quite a bit of the shops there around this blog.

Will you be only reviewing Puchong food?

Nope. I eat at pretty much everywhere around Selangor and KL. However 80% of the time I will choose to not drive too far away and eat within Puchong. But when I do eat out I will also write a review about them.

What type of food are you into?

No one asked that, but that is a very important question. You see, you won’t listen to a tennis pundit on football tactics, and therefore you shouldn’t listen to me talk about rural Malay food. That would also mean that when it comes to taste, you shouldn’t always take my word for it, it’s subjective. I can however give objective reviews that you should listen to regarding service, cleanliness and pricing. 

I usually eat Chinese, Indian, Mamak, Japanese and Hawker Centre food.

How does your rating system work? What’s in a “star”?

I grade based on a 5 star rating system on 5 different categories: Food, Price, Cleanliness, Service and Atmosphere. Then I will give a final score out of a 100. However, the final score would take each category and weigh them differently!

Obviously, the food rating will always take the highest weight. How much the price rating affects the final score depends largely on the quality of the food itself. If the food is good but overpriced, it will drag the score down. The opposite case will be true too. Atmosphere’s effect on the final score will also be context based. I would be less harsh on a mamak stall for not giving a suitable studying environment, but a cafe with noise levels of a mamak stall will be given an instant 0/5. Service and Cleanliness will be judged on an absolute basis.

So why even have 5 categories to be rated if they will be muddled together in the final score anyway? Well, it is so that in the future, readers of the blog can use tags (like #5cleanliness for 5 star cleanliness or #5price for cheap food) to look for certain categories of restaurants.

Also, a restaurant could be awarded special tags like “Camera-Candy” for sublime presentation of their dishes, basically things that are worth bringing up that doesn’t really affect the experience for the general public.

I’m a parent that has 5 kids under the age of 13 using the internet! Please pipe down on the vulgar language!

Ehhh maybe.