theblandstan

[theblandstan]

I had ONE (1) convo with @wlwanakin and it resulted in this dumb doodle, because we both came to the conclusion that since Anakin spent so many years in constant 9 to 10 pain, as a ghost the complete lack of pain feels like sensory deprivation and thus feels like ...more torture than the actual torture he was used to. The nothingness is confusing and it just makes him panic

[theblandstan]

Incredibles 2 (2018) dir. Brad Bird

[theblandstan]

[theblandstan]

my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

[theblandstan]

Picture Peter using slangs from his universe, and utterly befuddling people when he gets dropped in Gotham

Peter sounds insane. No one knows what a "gritty" is, or how to hit it. He has a weird obsession with caps, but he never wears a hat. No one knows what the hell "America's ass" means. Is it a dig at politics? A reference the "do the butt's match?" Meme? No one fucking knows.

Anyways that's how he gives his identity away AND Tim assumes he's from the future, the the batfamily makes contingencies around this incorrect assumption

[theblandstan]

I came across the AU idea that Dick Grayson is Richard Parker, and thus, Peter Parker's biological father. There are a few fics where Peter dimension travels to the DC universe and gets to meet his dead father. It is a fun idea, but I have different one.

AU where Peter dimension travels to the DC universe, and the batfam realizes that he is Dick's son, but rather than think he is from another universe, they all come to the conclusion that he is from the future.

It makes sense, after all, the rules of time travel basically boil down to 'don't change anything.' So when Peter is avoiding them and "pretending" not to know them, they just think he is following the rules. (He isn't even really avoiding them, he just has no idea who they are.)

You know how once you have an idea in your head, it take a lot of convince you that your wrong? Same idea here, they are so convinced of their idea that all new info ends up making them surer. Confirmation bias.

So Peter is trying to find a way home while the batfam tries to subtly help him without getting involved in time travel. Hijinks ensue.

Peter once mentions his love of photography and how he used to take pictures of heroes for a newspaper. Everyone looks at Tim and thinks, 'Gee I wonder where he picked up that hobby.'

At one point Peter pulls an assassin move, and Damian is like, 'I taught him that for sure.' (In reality Peter just trained with Natasha and Bucky before.)

When dealing with some issue Peter says something like, "I know a guy with some green angry problems and he taught me a lot about staying calm when mad." Everyone looks at Jason??? (He just picked up some meditation advice from Bruce Banner)

At some point he goes to the manor and everyone is like, 'Hah! More proof! He knows his way around the building!' He doesn't know his way around, his spider sense just lead him to where people are and kept him from getting lost.

He mentions Black Cat once, and everyone comes to the "totally logical" conclusion that Catwoman had a daughter, and that Peter and Felicia also have a weird almost dating thing going on.

Peter has been forced to go to some fancy events with Tony before so he knows how to act at rich people galas, which of course just adds fuel to the time travel theory.

Peter keeps accidentally referencing things that don't exist/didn't happen. Everyone just assumes these things didn't happen/don't exist yet.

[theblandstan]

Peter Parker dimension travels to Metropolis. Not MCU Peter, but 616 late 20s Peter Parker who can forge his identity and works for Lex Corp, initially not realizing it’s a bad company, but when he does he continues working for them to slowly yet surely make plans to expose and dismantle the company.

[theblandstan]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[theblandstan]

The best thing I've ever seen while driving was when I was racing across Idaho on my roadtrip to get home when suddenly my gps out of nowhere tells me that I can save an hour and a half by taking a detour. I had no idea why. I was in the middle of a pretty rural part of the state and twilight was setting in and the road looked clear, but holy shit, 90 minutes? I had no idea how or why this detour would do that but I took it anyways and got off the main interstate onto a frontage road.

About 2 minutes of driving later revealed VERY abrupt traffic backed up for miles. I had gotten off the interstate at the exact right and last moment. Everyone was pissed off and angry, so it seemed new. And here me and like three other cars were, racing past and completely skipping the traffic they were suddenly stuck in. There was no movement. Only traffic. I could feel their envy as I drove by wondering what the fuck was going on.

I fully expected there to have been a huge accident. Something like a head on collision. But then about four miles down the road, I see it. A tipped over truck, and thousands upon thousands of tiny brown potatoes still rolling across the road.

The driver was outside, his head in his hands, looking very much alright but appropriately stressed out, and behind him was miles of angry traffic caused by truck tipping over and dumping thousands of potatoes onto the asphalt. A potato spill. In Idaho. The state only known for potatoes. It still makes me laugh thinking about it.

[theblandstan]

congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it

[theblandstan]

luke and anakin’s bond is sooo important to me and people constantly not understanding or trying to make it seem like luke didn’t forgive him or doesn’t love him pisses me off

[theblandstan]

i’m losing my mind

[theblandstan]

Red Hood comes back and everything's the same except Bruce doesn't realise that while Jason's still pissed at him, it's more of a familial feud than it is a genuine casting himself away from the family forever. Jason's under the impression that what's going on between him and B is just normal teenage rebellion- after all, Dick basically did the same shit when they were younger, he remembers sitting on top of the stairs and listening to the arguments, hell he remembers eating popcorn while stood in the middle of a couple of them. they're a family of fucked up vigilantes, it makes sense to him that their father-son brawls are just as dramatic as the rest of their lives.

after the rooftop showdown where Bruce saves the Joker he gets into the batmobile, slightly depressed that he has to go back home and tell Alfred that he failed oh so spectacularly at convincing Jason to come home and probably actually made things a 100% worse and oh god when he finds out about the batarang-

Red Hood opens the passenger door and gets into the car

Jason: jesus christ B are you THAT fucking stubborn? YOU ALMOST DECAPITATED ME WITH THAT THING

Bruce:

Jason: whatever. actually, don't fucking talk to me. I'm not continuing this until next patrol where trust me I WILL be shooting you in the neck.

Bruce: ...w-

Jason: CAN YOU HURRY UP AND FUCKING DRIVE ALREADY? Jesus it's fucking freezing out and the heater isn't even on!

Bruce has absolutely no fucking clue what's going on. He continues to stare in the very rare Batman Bafflement that only his kids have ever managed to get out of him.

Is Jason... coming home with him?

He's so shocked at the sudden turn of events, so scared of flinching slightly in the wrong direction and ruining whatever the fuck convinced his son to actually get in the car with him, that he decides in a moment of pure panic to not question it. He turns the car on, silently turns on the heater, and proceeds to white knuckle the steering wheel and stiffly drive back to the manor, terrified that even breathing too loud will disrupt the way the Red Hood is spitefully messing with the radio station until it's playing Bruce's least favourite station at a way-too-loud volume.

when they get home Jason flips Bruce off and goes straight to the kitchen, dishing himself up some food from the dinner table with a couple of casual greeting grunts as if everyone isn't staring at him in shock and awe. Bruce comes in behind him and shrugs helplessly. Dick's face has gone white, and he's clutching his glass so hard it's started to splinter in his hands. Tim's the only person who manages to get past it all, blinking up at Jason's massive hulking frame.

Tim: I thought you hated us now

Jason: *eating, gives a questioning hum*

Tim: you keep fighting with Batman

Jason: yeah, fuck batman. I'm so pissed at him right now

Bruce: h-

Jason: Shut the fuck up I'm still mad at you.

Jason, to Tim: it's family tradition to hate Bruce and strike out on your own. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed Alfie's impeccable cooking.

Tim:

Tim: ...you also tried to kill me

Jason: you replaced me as Robin. an attempt on your life is also family tradition. Dick tried to kill me a month after I took up the mantle

Tim:

Dick, so exasperated it breaks him out of his shock: oh come on, it was not a murder attempt-

Jason, slamming his fist on the table: I HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY AND YOU TRIED TO FEED ME A SNICKERS BAR!

Dick: FOR THE LAST TIME I DIDN'T KNOW-

Bruce, desperate: boys-

Jason, whirling around: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO ME?

Bruce:

Jason: oh that reminds me. hey Alfred? guess what B did like twenty minutes ago.

Alfred: ..?

Bruce: Jaylad please-

Jason: he threw a batarang at my neck.

Alfred:

Bruce:

Alfred: master Bruce-

Bruce quite honestly would have preferred it if Jason was a villain instead of a rebellious teen.

[theblandstan]

Anyone looking to make a proper Scooby-Doo adaptation please remember:

Fred is the charismatic face of the group and the strategizer. Later adaptations made him a massive himbo who chugs respect for women juice and those have become necessary parts of his character.

Shaggy is cowardly but also incredibly resourceful; let us not forget his skill at ventriloquism. Make Shaggy the skill monkey, who every episode mentions some weird skill he has that's previously unmentioned; that'd be an amazing running gag. Also, bring back the dry humor Casey Kasem injected into the og character.

Scooby is Shaggy's best friend, the other half to his two-man comedy routine. Independently of Shaggy, Scooby is also prone to be a bit mischievous and just kind of a little scamp. Play up both of those things.

Velma is the smart nerdy one, who also had a really dry sense of humor. I don't know why she was turned into the "I'm surrounded by idiots" character because, while as I stated, she always had a dry sense of humor, she was never mean to her friends and never talked down to them, or anyone else. Bring back the chipper Velma from like Witch's Ghost or Zombie Island. Let Velma be a little cutie pie. Also keep her as a lebian

Daphne was... originally really just "The Girly One" but later adaptations have fleshed her out, like making her essentially the muscle of the group, which is just amazing and should continue. She's also been cast as the oddly resourceful one. Shaggy is the skill monkey, Daphne is the one who has a tool for literally any job. Human Swiss Army Knife, which again, would be an amazing running gag.

Have Shaggy and Daphne bounce off-the-wall ideas for a plan together, Fred steps in to ground them, while still using their ideas, and incorporating Velma's theories about the case.

Make references to Flim Flam and Hot Dog Water

A Scooby-Doo adaptation should not be difficult, and must be done with love.

[theblandstan]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[theblandstan]

new fun trend: take this quiz and tell me your score