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[thebetterme08-blog]

3 important things that I learned and discovered about myself all throughout the subject  “Understanding the self”

1.) I am  a mixture of sanguine-choleric and melancholic type. Somehow it made me understand and view myself in various ways.  For the Sanguine, I know I’m not really into  speaking but I do tend to speak a lot and even with a way more louder voice whenever the topic truly interests me. For the Choleric, I’m not really bossy but I do like to plan things and take the lead when nobody else does. Even if I am not that confident at dealing with people, I still take the work and start the plan right away because I know my own responsibility. Above all, Melancholic is the kind of type where most of my personality fits. I truly love art, I like being creative but simple but I like everything to be in touch with a bit of art. I am not really that kind like an angelic type but I am considerate, I like to create things originally though I am a kind who also procrastinate. I spend a lot of time on things and put effort into it until it would please me enough, details are important for me and even as I speak, I do put some details because I like little things. Though I’m not really a perfectionist but in a way,  it’s hard to please me but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate even small things. There are different parts of myself which are that composes of what makes me who I am. I have understood weaknesses are also related to what your strengths are, but what’s important is that I am whole and my kind of being is what makes me unique.

2.) In a truthful manner, I do agree that I am complicated because  somehow I think that I have much self compassion but I also do lack some like forgetting to take care of myself at some point and then would pamper myself again. I am gentle to myself. I enjoy learning about and learning to love myself, though sometimes I become harsh and selfish, not minding I and hurting my own self and that it would make it even worse.  My failures are roots of where my compassion for myself blooms and improves. I write more things, I share and speak more to people, would plan and like being healthy and I would know more of my own value. Overall, I know there are a lot of things that should be worked on for my well being  and I'm sincerely grateful and happy that I am now becoming to be even more aware about myself and my behaviours. That I constantly get back to the right pace of gentleness, of considering and exercising my own self compassion even if I fail a lot, If I become careless and disappointing. Despite feeling worse, It would then be replaced to a more better state of affection for myself, it made me fall in love in the process of taking care of me with warmth and healing is much better than not feeling anything at all.

3.)  Careless, carefree, careful. I lose myself in times of pressure even if nobody is pressuring me yet I lose myself when I am being pressured and then myself surprises me with ideas when I get pressured. I get fooled at times when I thought I was being careful but I was careless after all. Being too careful makes me feel like I can be carefree just like what happened one time on a quiz where nobody pressured me but I failed since I didn’t thoroughly read the instructions because I thought I was careful enough to be carefree and in the end, I was actually careless. It made me think deeply enough and realised that I should not be confused with being careless, carefree, and careful because it would then lead into an unpleasant result. I must stop aiming to become carefree but instead I must be careful enough and aim to not be careless and in that way, I can become carefree.

[thebetterme08-blog]

Self-care plan for my self

Physical

What I need to take note in mind for my physical health are drinking enough water, sleeping enough, exercising, knowing what I consume, eating healthy foods, doing activities outside, being active outdoors, listening to what my  body tells me,  and knowing my own body, noticing the difference if everything is okay.  What must be avoided are things like  not being hydrated enough, depriving sleep, abusing the body, exhausting it , not minding unusual physical pain or anything unusual and eating lots of  processed foods.

Cognitive

I need to read a lot, to learn a lot, to be curious and wise enough to be wiser in deciding things. Secure the stuff that I feed into my mind, consume things that give me wisdom, learn about different stuff, be open about a lot of things and apply all the things that I’ve learned. Note the important things that should be mastered or things that could improve the self. Write my very own ideas, create a lot of things with originality and using my imagination without limit. Things to avoid are;  being easily distracted, wasting time with nonsense things, being content on what you already know, thinking that you already know a lot and being lazy.

Emotional

Keeping a journal is a must, writing everything, all the things that I feel and evaluate it, analyze why I feel like that. Record it with a plan and learn how to handle it  if ever it happens again, getting ready for myself with things that might happen and always remember to be gentle to my own self. Never listen to all my emotions. Think logically and weigh them but forgive myself. Embrace it but don't let it overcome you. All things that we feel are temporary, better is yet to come. Sometimes  thoughts and feelings are it's just an illusion. Avoid not forgiving yourself, for ignoring how and what you feel. Not giving enough time to asses and express all your emotions, express it in a way that would hurt someone or yourself. 

Social

Be openminded,  you need to listen carefully and look them in the eye that would help you focus. Don't talk too much, give time to others. Encourage people, talk positive, exchange knowledge and wisdom, learn from each other and continually develop the way you speak. Talk about helpful things, discuss stuff that are taboo. Be involved in a community that promotes change for the better and supports one another. Things to be avoided are behaviours like judging easily, talking about negative things without any solution to it,  only talking nonsense, stereotype mindset must put to an end. 

 Moral

It is extremely important to develop principles and philosophies in life,  always go back to what your principles are. Remember and establish reasonable values, always tell the truth, stay true to what you really are. Treat others as you want to be treated. Be considerate, forgive and have patience. defending things in which you don't fully understand must be avoided.  Do not lie, Do not cheat, stop making excuses, do not judge easily,  do not tolerate abuse and  do not be mean and selfish to people.

Spiritual

First thing to be in mind is to follow the 10 commandments, read the bible, use it and apply it in everyday life, share and spread it. Help people, join communities and groups, be an active member,, always pray and be a responsible  follower, always say yes for God. Do everything for Him (1corinthians 10:31), invite people and encourage them in a positive way with fullness of hope. Conduct a prayer meeting. Remember to week fro things that cannot be seen, which are above and beyond the physical.Always be humble enough to accept that you will never know all the reasons why things happen because a human person cannot comprehend all the things but God can. not giving enough time for God should never be tolerated, never reject opportunities and invitations that would lead you closer to God. Do not give in to temptations and distractions and don’t forget to take care of your own soul, treat it nicely and feed it with goodness and delight.

[thebetterme08-blog]

Ultimate long term goal

Long before, my top long term goal for myself is to practice the act of mindfulness, being mindful of the things around me, of what surrounds me and to own being. I have noticed how one day could pass by that easily and realized I never really   lived with it. Mindfulness is a process of living,  I wanted to embrace everything life could offer because it gives me justification that I truly lived. All of this would start from being mindful and I know I should continuously strive for it because I wanted to be presently aware. It would indicate  that I have achieved my goal If I don’t give in easily to distractions, If ever I feel proud, satisfied, and fulfilled. Whenever I start noticing things  and understand more how it works and by being able to focus on a task within a fixed time. For the resources, I think it would simply need my mind to be fully aware first and then proceed to intake things like reading books, watching videos and learning things that are all about focus and relates to my well-being. Mediation should be the first thing that I must develop in creating a routine since it increases my focus and attention. I must continually take all the opportunities everyday to focus, to apply the things I’ve learned and to use all my senses enjoying every moment living. This goal is of significant importance because by working on this, it would shape me into a more focused and present minded person. It would be able to make me more appreciative,  to know how to truly value and simply live life as what it is. All of this can help me form a better self and just by doing this, it could do a lot of benefits for the future. I personally think that I am already achieving it just by taking the first step of trying to focus. By starting and doing the best that I can to make my goal happen, to be able to be consistent at achieving. I would like to achieve this until college but most likely, I would want to achieve this for an entire lifetime that I have here on earth since being mindful is a process like learning that must constantly develop overtime.

[thebetterme08-blog]

Assessing own self  with the use of multiple intelligences inventory

My strength: 

 All my yes led me to the three intelligences which were covered as Introspective. It somehow goes in line with how I see myself when learning things. I have this deep level of emotion to my experiences and beliefs that makes me look more within myself. 

For Intrapersonal,  I am quite sensitive with how I feel which makes me more of a reflective person. I would try to connect things which would make sense as I have observed and analyzed. I do tend to have ideas that are related to my own beliefs, values, inspiration and feelings which would make me learn more and enhance my creativity. 

For Existentialism, even as a child, I do wonder a lot of things like a normal child would do but I wanted it to have an in depth explanation to things so that I would be able to accept it which would make me understand better. It would then make me interested more and would help me to continuously think and wander. It becomes an inspiration to my ideas and to my opinions and would more likely make me discuss things that are taboo.

For Visual,  I learn better when it is in order and organized. I like writing it and making graphs and adding some drawings to my notes, putting some sort of symbols and coloring it with a color scheme that I want. I easily learn when I can see the illustration, I pay attention to things that have a touch with art, to the design and the details. Learning in this way would somehow enhance my imagination and the way I envision things in my head. 

My weaknesses:

The only thing that has  a lot of “no” based upon the test are the Logical and Interpersonal. Since I was a kid, I’m not really good with numbers and thinking logically or analytically like other kids would do. I have a slow process in learning things with numbers although I have been trying to Love math over the years and I think my efforts aren’t really enough to prove that I really loved it. As a shy kid, I never really get to have lots of friends and topics to talk about but as I continue to grow, I can say there’s a difference between then and now. I am not really that talkative, outgoing and good at socializing but I become better in the process of adjusting and in times when I’m already comfortable with people.

Special abilities and skills: 

I Put much effort into things that interest me and would give a lot of time just to be satisfied by my own work.  I’d like to think beyond because it is nicer to make things with a deep meaning. I pay attention to great details and I try to make it inline with creativity, something that is new and unique. I’d be more willing to learn about different stuff and would have some kind of knowledge about it. 

Barriers and how to overcome:

I come to notice how I easily get distracted with things like noises and unnecessary stuff. I easily give in being distracted that leads me to procrastination to things. Procrastination encourages my laziness which would result in wasting time. Since I have no focus, I would then lack consciousness of time and then would make my stress even way worse. All of these factors are connected to each other like a domino effect and it never really does any good to my performance. Overcoming this would be not that easy but a simple commitment of practising to be mindful, to be focused and to know how to weigh priorities.

Things that makes me unhappy / disappointed: 

I truly get disappointed how I easily get distracted with small things, how careless I can be and how I didn’t aim much higher even though I could have been better. I’m not happy for not being productive enough and for not being consistent with my progress. To improve this, it must require focus, discipline, practising meditation and a  routine to easily program my mind with good habits. It is important to be prepared and get ready,  plan things ahead of time, schedule events and put it with a time limit. I should keep track and write all my goals, not just in my mind but on a  paper, so that I would always be reminded to focus and to remember the reasons why I am doing it.

Things I have achieved: 

Being original is the best thing that I could achieve, and I feel fulfilled whenever I’m exercising my ideas and mind. Getting more creative, diving deeply beyond limits, being happy and interested in learning, continually adjusting and understanding myself and other people. Acquiring more wisdom about things that feeds my mind and soul. Getting interested about different fields, being myself even to people I'm not really closed with, being able to connect and understand more with people.

Things that make me happy: 

Little things make my heart blush a bit. There are a  lot of things, a lot of factors that would make me happy and I couldn’t even mention all of it. The idea that a thing has been put into much effort and thought would gladly make me happy that easily. All the things that are made with love and all the love that I feel makes my soul bliss. Whenever I create something, whenever I see hope in the eyes of people, whenever I radiate positivity. The idea of being healthy, of loving and being loved, of taking care of someone and my own self.  Sharing things, ideas, knowledge, spreading the Holy words, serving God. As long as I am grateful, I am content like how I wake up everyday, how I see the sun, how I acknowledge the air, the atmosphere, the  opportunities and chances and the blessings that were given to me, all the goodness that is given to me by the Lord makes me sing for joy. There could be tons of things but the most things that makes me happy are not literally things, but those things that cannot be taken away from me, they are my true happiness.

[thebetterme08-blog]

an insight for the western concept of self and a justification of my own nationality; as a Filipino

The western concept of self is mostly about how important the inside is, the things within ourselves. Which is also a better way of understanding things deeply but all in all, the only thing that I like the least about its concept is when it talks or deals about its evolution or improvement. The fact that it’s cyclic in which their system doesn’t necessarily have the consistency of progress could literally affect a lot of things from an individual itself up to its country or race.

Proudly enough, I am truly grateful to be a Filipino despite how a lot of people from all around the world would look at us Pinoys, and judge us easily from head to toes even without literally looking at it. Mainly, people would look at Filipinos as maids, gold diggers to foreigners, scammers and most importantly the thinking that we are uneducated. 

First and foremost, because of how hard working Filipinos are, we get to be all around the globe and work no matter how far it is as long as we could get a worthy job. Most filipino’s jobs are maid  because we are naturally good at caring for others, especially to our family and to our elders because of how respectful and family oriented we are. Filipinos are not the only ones who are scammers and gold diggers, some Pinoy just do it, those who don’t really have the education because they can’t have any work at all. It’s just how people seem to view us because they look down on our country and think we all live in a low kind of life. 

Filipinos nowadays are more than what you think but in a better way. We strive more and to think that having a degree is also important for us, though a lot of Pinoy would still succeed even without having one. We are strong and are naturally spirited and full of determination and joy. Filipinos could manage to feed their own family even if it could be a whole “barangay”. Filipinos still manage to continue working despite its old age just to provide their family’s needs. Most reason why we keep going is because of our faith for God and love from him and love for our own family. 

If you could notice, most people who come here would be amazed not just because of the beauty of our country and resources but how hospitable, kind and good at socializing Pinoys are. Filipinos are more than what they think, Filipinos are well and loving Filipinos fight and survive. People could belittle us but in the end, when they would witness the truth, Regrets would eat them, because of how they think about us Filipinos.

“Filipinos are as strong as the typhoon we face and as wonderful as the paradise here in our very own country.”  

[thebetterme08-blog]

A letter to myself;

Here it is Leila, I wanted you to ready this.

If I was still in the moment of that past, I would most likely receive a lot of apology letters from myself. Truth to be told, I don’t remember much what I do need to have an apology for myself and maybe because I already accepted it, dealt with it and healed. That doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to apologize for though, but one thing that I wanted to say sorry for myself is that I’m too careless. I wanted to apologize for not taking much care for myself, the way I think, live and value my very self. I wanted to say sorry for not knowing how much it could cause me in the future, how much chaos made worse and how much time I wasted for not caring enough. 

Know that you are way different than that past, it is good that you are now much aware of your mistakes and lapses. I am truly grateful that you are now focusing on yourself  and slowly fell in love in becoming better. You are still in the middle of the process of suffering that we continuously go through and I know, you’ll get better. I hope and pray for your well being, that you may not forget about taking care of yourself, that you may balance that time and love for people and your own being. I know you know this love that we have still grows, so just keep going because you are intended to continue and reach your own limitation that guides you to who and where you should be. I apologize if this may not be the best letter you may receive but know that still it is an honor to be in the process. Will continue to love deeply,

yourself.

[thebetterme08-blog]

Honest and Raw; Unleashing my potential to be better through my identity toolbox

It all starts in the name “Leila” which is an arabic name meaning “beauty or dark”. Most Leilas were born at night, except for me though. It’s also not about the color of my skin in which it shouldn’t really matter what kind, but I was named Leila because my father was inspired with this volleyball player he looked up to which I find it boring to be a reason behind my own name. 

I have this asian like eyes, a result of my 1/16 chinese blood and some bit of blood from the spaniards mixed together with a filipino blood which could be the cause of all the countless bumps and redness on my face. 

Despite not being a pure filipino in blood ( like how i speak bisaya),  my family still follow some customs that “pinoys” are really fond of, like the idea of how it is a big deal to respect the elders, being family oriented, doing humorous but mostly corny jokes, and keeping up the faith that we believe in.

Both parents of mine are catholics whereas we value our responsibilities as Christians like attending the mass every sunday, following the Liturgical Calendar and celebrating events like feasts. We encourage, we keep going through our faith and our love for each other. We would fix things that are broken that would keep our family stronger. 

As for myself, I would live a life not holding what my name means but I would live a life and make my own meaning carrying my own name. All my appearances and  some hints I mentioned doesn’t matter that much about how my personality is, how I become better. Somehow, the flaws I live in made me learn and understand more deeply. To appreciate  my own being and to continue to improve would not really matter how you think of me, how people would perceive me or how my identity tool box would define me as a person.

Unleashing my own potential to become better is a process that is not enough to show through my identity toolbox. It could give an idea or a guide but I get to choose how I do it because I take control of myself as well as you do also. But the very idea of writing this blog is the first stop of unleashing it because of my intention and hope with a purpose to become better. The very idea of trying to be better is actually unleashing ourselves to be better and even if this blog isn’t much, the idea of struggling while writing , choosing the words carefully, suffering to make this piece is unleashing it already after all.

[thebetterme08-blog]

Philosophers like Socrates, St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas and Rene Descartes may have different views but the fusion of their ideas is what makes it coincide with how I agree and perceive myself. It somehow relates to my personality upon their emphasis and points like how Socrates is concerned that each of us are philosophers and that we should constantly examine our lives and learn to know our very self. I can relate to how he questions the traditional ways and how he sees that to truly live starts inside within ourselves. Same with St. Augustine, that points out how the body dies and the soul lives eternally because I personally believe that we exist with a deeper purpose and our lives will not just end on earth. It is true for me that the soul and mind are both important because it is superior to the body since it controls it. It connects to whenever i think  or sometimes doubt would eventually help me to learn, discover and take control. The combination of St.Thomas’ and Rene Descartes’ perspective would make a better explanation in understanding the human person because as for me, the mind, body and soul exist and as long as we are living here on earth, it is as one.