theatralist

[theatralist]

Can’t help but reblog!

Half-life

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: Talk about anxiety and depression, and attempted suicide (not graphic).

A/N: This is surely the saddest thing I've ever written. Take care of yourselves and if the topics are triggering to you, do NOT read this. Your health comes first. And if any of you is going through a hard time, just know that there's always help available. I'm always available as well!

I'm not able to use a 'keep reading' tab which I sincerely apologize for.

Masterlist

I'm such a fool.

These few words echoed in your head as you slammed the door behind you and slid your back down on it.

You've always been a huge thinker. Your mind was filled with millions unsaid thoughts which you wished to share with other people, but they would rarely keep up with your frantic pace, with the way you'd abruptly switch from topic to topic without taking a breath. But truth was, you were so excited to talk to everyone who seemed interested in what you had to say, because you were lonely. You couldn't help but split your soul and give it to others regardless of how damaged you'd feel when they walked away with its pieces.

You'd often think, most times unwillingly, about your future and what it would bring, about the meaning of life itself, about your place in the enormous world of massive chaos. The concept of having to live an entire life, decades spent on this planet, overwhelmed you, and you felt so small and insignificant. You realised you had lost your sense of worth along the way.

Keeping your mouth shut when words of built up feelings were about to spill from your lips, was quite a difficult task, especially considering the fact that you had very few people to talk to about your interests, dreams and struggles. You could sense there was something wrong with you, you knew it. You had always been different, you had seemed out of place all your life. 

You were full of emotions you couldn't control and it made people stay away. None of them could bear the burden that you were, no wonder they would want to leave. You felt like a worthless being which didn't deserve to be walking on this earth.

Your body violently shook against the wooden door of your bedroom and you pulled your knees up to your chest, engulfing yourself in your own arms, your only protection from the cold reality. Whimpers and gasps tore from your throat, silent tears flowing down your face like rivers of unspoken regrets. You were done, you didn't have the strength to deal with this anymore.

You had been wanting to be set yourself free for so long but you always put it off in hopes of living a new day that's a bit better than the previous one.

But waiting made you question why you were even hoping in the first place. Why were you dragging it out? Was it guilt? Fear? A sense of responsibility? All of the above.

You kicked off your shoes and the cold floor caressed your bare feet. At that point you were too exhausted to get changed or even just stand up. You were too exhausted to live.

You could easily just lie down and do nothing. That would be nice, not having to get dressed, eat or speak. Your bones were made of lead, dragged down by gravity, and your muscles screamed in agony with every move, begging to rest. Sleep did sound extremely tempting indeed, alluring you with its bittersweet deadly lullaby; the only cure for your suffering.

Helpless on the ground, you were paralyzed by the desperate craving for a warm touch, a loving hug to melt your worries away and cleanse you of your anguish. A tender hand to brush your puffy cheeks, soft lips to kiss your tears away and speak words of endearment. But the silence around you seemed to mock you, the dark windows being the only witnesses of your misery.

You wiped your heavy eyelids and running nose with your sleeve, breathing slowing down as you threatened to give into lethargy. You curled up on the floor like a beaten dog, last muffled sobs escaping you in silent defeat. 

That was it.

Your tired body soon gave out and you let yourself be lifted off the ground. Warmth sheltered you under its divine wing and you found yourself gratefully clinging to it. Bright light peeked through the slits of your almost closed eyelids and you were relieved your angel had finally arrived to take you, to free you of your memories and pain, to unbind you from the unfair and torturous bargain that life was.

Next to you, on the floor, Newt had kneeled down with you in his arms. Your head had fallen back, lips slightly parted, and your chest had ceased to rise and fall. Your body resembled nothing more than a limp, cold weight in his embrace, and tears burned his ocean eyes. The wizard used his wand to slowly scan over your figure, red light alarmingly gleaming at the tip. He choked on a sob and pulled his suitcase over, rushing to open it, and frantically rummaged through vials, boxes and parchments. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips when he finally found what he was searching for.

Newt forced your mouth open, holding your jaw as gently as he could, and shoved a spherical stone down your throat, praying to Merlin, the Four Founders and any other powerful being that it would work. Newt was looking down at you with a furrowed brow, the last bit of hope left sparkling in his eyes. But alas, you stayed completely still.

His gaze flickered to your chapped lips. They reminded him of the hundreds of times he had seen your bright smile; they took him back to the precious moments when he'd heard you laugh openly and unapologetically. Your lips made him recall with sadness, disappointment and frustration the countless times he longed to kiss them, but never got the courage to to. And he hated himself for it, for being weak. For being gone when you most needed him.

You began to cough dryly, and with weak hands rolled over to the other side where you vomited black, oily liquid. It spilled like ink poison on the glossy floor and you almost choked on it as it violently left your body, flowing from your mouth like massive dark rivers of patrol that formed a repulsive oily puddle. Some of the liquid was dripping from your mouth and onto your clothes but Newt was quick to carefully turn you around and wipe your chin with his handkerchief. You expected to see a judgemental look from him while he held you as you emptied your stomach, but there was none. 

You were still gasping for air, thick ropes of fire tightening around your chest with every breath you struggled to take. You tried to focus on your breathing but you couldn't calm down no matter how hard you tried, and panic seeped into you.

Sensing your distress, Newt rubbed slow circles on your back, encouraging you to inhale deeply with him, all while whispering words of comfort despite his own state of panic.

"Just like that, love. Keep breathing. You're doing so well."

Eventually, you took control and started to breathe on your own. With a shuddering sigh you leaned on Newt's chest, fisting his thick blue coat. He pressed his lips to your head and stayed like that, a few tears escaping and falling onto your hair. After awhile, you let go of the fabric and closed your eyes; the rhythmical rising and falling of your chest was eloquent to the wizard holding you. It was only then when he let himself weep, arms wrapped around you as if you could slip away from his grasp at any moment.

You woke up to the feeling of warmth and the sounds of a crackling fire.

Despite having slept for a good amount of hours, your body still seemed to be of lead, and it took you all the energy you could muster in order to sit up.

A huge mistake.

The fast movement caused your head to spin, a massive headache smashing you like a bludger.

You rubbed your eyes and realised that the warmth was indeed provided by a lit fireplace, the soft, fluffy blankets on Newt's bed and the long white cotton shirt of his which you were wearing. The clothing carried his characteristic scent of forest, cinnamon and tea, and you nearly smiled when realisation suddenly froze you to the core.

You were still alive.

On an armchair beside the bed, was sitting Newt himself who had drifted off to a dreamless sleep not long ago. Pickett who had been lying on his shoulder, pinched Newt's cheek when he heard shifting in the bedsheets. The wizard's eyes shot open and focused on your still form sitting on his bed. His shirt looked huge on you, your hair was beyond messy and when you rubbed your tearful eyes, you seemed like a lost child which Newt wished to hug and never let go.

However, you needed time.

Newt slowly approached you and kneeled on the floor, resting his arms on the edge of the bed. You didn't have the courage to face him so you kept staring at the dancing flames. Hundreds of questions buzzed in the wizard's mind but he knew he had to start small as to not overwhelm you so he simply asked.

"How are you feeling?"

You would have answered if you knew what to say in the first place. But you had no idea how to reply, react or even feel. You were paralyzed.

Tears fell down your cheeks yet again but you ignored them, gaze fixed on the fire. Newt mentally cursed at himself for making you cry but he had to find out what was happening to you. His gaze wandered around the room as he gathered the strength not to tear up as well.

He knew it had been a long time since you had last eaten, and the situation had exhausted you even further so he whispered low as if afraid he'd scare a wild animal away.

"Is there anything you want? Something to eat? Or drink?"

You shook your head ever so slightly and even though it pained Newt that you didn't speak or even look at him, he was relieved to get some sort of a response from you.

Suddenly Pickett jumped from the wizard's shoulder and into your lap but before Newt could take him away, you let him settle down in your palms and caressed his tiny leaves.

Newt tilted his head to the side to look into your eyes. They were bloodshot and gleamed in a way that a dead man's would, but instead of appearing empty, they looked like they had seen far more than they should ever had.

Newt planned to walk away, having considered his company wasn't really desired at the moment and that you needed space, but he had to make sure first. With a shaking voice he managed to mutter.

"Is there anything I can be helpful with?"

Silence.

The light in his eyes diminished.

Taking it as a sign to leave, Newt stood up and walked to the door as the carpet completely silenced his footsteps. He glanced at you for the last time, admiring the way you were treating the small creature so lovingly. Even after facing death, you hadn't lost your tender touch.

Newt closed the door behind him, a hand lingering on the handle in a silent conflict. His heart was pounding rapidly as if trying to escape his chest and go to the person it belonged to.

Time, his conscience reminded.

Night spread its navy blue wings over London, the street lamps shining like multiple tiny suns, the only source of light under the cloudy sky.

And Newt left.

If it wasn't for the clock hanging on the wall, Newt wouldn't have known nighttime had arrived, his passion for magical beasts making him lose track of time down in his case. The wizard was aware it had been a few hours since he last saw you, and tried his best to suppress the urge to go upstairs; he knew you'd come to him when you were ready.

"I felt completely lost." Newt spoke sorrowfully while caressing the Thunderbird's golden feathers. "I had never been so… The pain I felt was indescribable. I can't believe I let something like this happen, I should've been there."

The wizard trailed his hand from the bird's enormous wings to the white underside of its head. He fondly brushed the soft fur of its neck until his caring fingers stroked its long brown beak. The creature cawed in satisfaction and leaned into the magizoologist's tender touch.

Being a wizard in those uncertain years was exceptionally dangerous. Grindelwald would use any means to attract allies and followers, and wouldn't hesitate to eliminate those who dared to stand against him. Trust was a fragile thing, and the line between right and wrong was becoming blurrier as time went on. Regardless of how capable of a witch you were, Newt couldn't help but be afraid that someone would try to attack you, be it to harm or murder you, or to bring you to the Dark wizard himself. And seeing your lifeless body on the floor was a nightmare come true.

The man took a shuddering breath.

"As her friend I'm supposed to protect her. That was the least I could have done and I failed…" Newt turned his remorseful gaze to the night sky, sprinkled with countless stars, eternal and as old as time, as if begging them for advice and forgiveness. But they did not spoke back to him, their idle shine being the only answer to his prayers.

Newt straightened his slumped shoulders, trying not to dwell too much on his own feelings and instead focus on the task at hand.

"I need to know who gave her the Death Potion." The wizard declared. "I need to know who and why they would try to…"

The thought alone was enough to ignite flames of rage within his body, something truly unusual for the Hufflepuff. An unfamiliar power began to build up, destructive yearning for vengeance and justice. It turned Newt's blood into liquid fire, and he no longer cared about reputation or danger. His only concern was your safety and all he wished to do was to protect you no matter the cost.

Regardless of how far his mind wandered, his untamed thoughts always returned to you; to your limp body in his arms. Newt had been so incredibly close to losing you, the only person whom he felt truly understood by and whom he loved far more than he could ever love himself.

Newt realised he must have spaced out, and for quite awhile, when the Thunderbird poked him in the ribs with its beak, demanding more petting.

"Sorry, Frank." Newt mumbled apologetically, "I've just been thinking."

Frank flapped his wings once, then turned his back to Newt pridefully, and flew away into the starry night, leaving the red-haired wizard alone with his racing mind.

Newt let out an exasperated sigh and picked up the bucket which previously contained raw meat for the winged animal. The calming shades of dark blue and the sparkling stars above did not do much to ease his heartache.

"I guess I'm thinking way too much instead of acting."

And with that, he went to climb up the wooden ladder which lead to the living room of his humble, but somehow messy apartment. It was ghostly quiet without your cheerful voice echoing in the hallway, and your laugh brightening the living room. It was as if you had left ages ago, despite being only a floor above Newt. How could a person be so close, yet so distant and unavailable?

After a minute of inner conflict, Newt let his feet effortlessly carry him straight to your room. For a brief moment he froze in front of the door, contemplating whether he should even be there. But he knocked nonetheless.

His heart jumped at sound of your voice from the other side, inviting him to come in. As quietly as possible, he opened the door and closed it behind his back.

With timid steps Newt approached you. He was at least a little relieved to see you had already gotten dressed and appeared to be slightly better physically. You were looking at yourself in the mirror and adjusting your shirt, a regular routine done like any other day. Things somehow seemed normal but Newt didn't dare to hope just yet. And that wasn't just any other day.

"I'll be making dinner downstairs..." the wizard spoke carefully as he rubbed his palms together, and licked his lips anxiously. You didn't look at him. "If you feel like it, come join me whenever you're ready… I'd very much like it if you do."

Again, you did not bother to face him.

You kept looking at yourself in the mirror with an emotionless expression, completely ignoring every word he had just said. At least it appeared that way.

You were too scared to reply, in fact. Keeping your mouth shut in fear of slipping up and saying something you really shouldn't.

So that's the only thing you granted him.

Silence.

Newt swallowed hard and lowered his head in defeat, his eyes losing their tiny, everlasting expectant gleam. He was about to turn around when your soft voice dripped like honey onto his heart.

"I'll be down in a minute."

Newt's lips formed a brief smile which was nearly impossible to spot if not caught on time, and he gave you a slight nod over his shoulder before leaving.

The crackling fire and your reflection in the mirror were your only company now. You dropped your hands to your sides and stared into your own eyes, wishing they could've been closed forever by then. But no, they were looking right back at you, mocking you for thinking escape would be this easy; reminding you that you deserved every bit of this eternal torture and you were obliged to endure it all the way through.

He's only nice because you nearly died. He wouldn't understand nor care enough to try. You can might as well just get used to this now.

Another part to play.

At least you had plenty of experience.

You held your chin up high despite the disgusting unshed tears that burned like acid, and walked out.

You stared at the bowl which Newt had just placed on front of you on the table, and you nearly felt like a kid. A small, exposed, vulnerable kid. Savory steam was emitting from the soup in rich puffs, inviting you to have a taste, but it meant nothing to you.

The delicious smell of warm chicken soup with vegetables filled your nostrils and you'd never wanted to vomit this much.

As you were focused on the dish, you could hear the clicking of plates in the kitchen, the stirring of soup and Newt's quick footsteps as he fussed around about things you couldn't care less about. Soon he joined you, taking the seat in front of you on the table. You didn't bother to meet his eyes but you could feel his on you.

"I'm not the best cook, I admit," he hesitantly began, not knowing what exactly you needed to hear, "but at least I've learned how to make decent soup, I think. Let me know if I've done a good job this time."

Newt had the faintest smile on his face, but still genuine nonetheless; however, it went unnoticed by you as you were busy stirring the soup which you didn't intend to eat no matter how tempting it might've looked. Nevertheless, you decided to try it, not wishing to offend your friend who was trying so hard to get you to open up. Despite his blind, clueless attempts, he meant well, you knew he did.

The tender meat and the crunchy vegetables touched your tongue and you slowly chewed, begging yourself to enjoy their taste, their texture. But alas, they were unpalatable in your mouth as you rushed to swallow them, even though you knew they would've tasted delicious otherwise. Your stomach twisted painfully in disagreement and you swore you could vomit, but you had no problem putting on a smile for his sake.

"It's actually very tasty, Newt."

His stiff shoulders relaxed slightly and he leaned forward, visibly relieved to hear an entire sentence from you for the first time in so long. Your gaze involuntarily flickered to his blue eyes for a mere second, something that made Newt's heart pound with joy, but it was only a slap in the face to you, warning you to wake up and don't get distracted from your task.

The suffocating tension was still there, exhausting you to your limits, but you forced yourself to eat the rest of the soup, knowing you needed energy of some sort. It was awfully quiet; the only sound in the room was the stirring of soup, and for once you wished the beasts could make a commotion just so Newt could leave you alone. Despite wishing to cheer you up, his presence brought unbelievable pressure upon you, taking over you like clammy, intensely cold mist, seeping into you and clouding your brain. Never had you believed dining could feel like interrogation.

Maybe if you just stood still and quiet, he wouldn't intrude.

"Do you mind telling me about what happened while I was gone?" Newt's soothing voice rang in your ears and you nearly screamed in frustration.

So much for having such a peaceful evening.

"I do mind actually." You muttered, and rather bitterly, lifting the spoon towards your mouth, obviously not intending to continue that conversation. Newt's kindness was extraordinary and absolutely admirable, but could also be bloody annoying at times.

Newt, however, left his spoon and leaned back on his chair, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to think of a better approach. Why were you so hostile towards him? Had he done anything to upset you? Did something he said trigger you?

You were still eating the tasteless soup, unbothered and way too enthusiastic to finish it.

The wizard considered leaving until you had calmed down, but he knew that the longer he waited, the more time he'd be giving the perpetrator of that cruel act to run away unpunished. Newt needed to find out what happened in his absence immediately. Enough sweet talk.

He took a breath and rested his forearms on the table, trying to meet your eyes; they were dimmed with an emotion he could not quite recognize. Newt hated himself for not knowing how to react or what to say; he despised having to pressure you to talk so soon, but it could not wait.

He licked his dry lips and stated firmly, but still softly enough as to not sound too demanding, "I am so sorry to be intruding like this, I know you certainly don't appreciate it, but it's crucial that I find out what happened to you today. Please help me out. I promise not to bother you afterwards."

You let out a deep sigh, trying to suppress the pressure that began building up rapidly in your chest, and noticed Newt's distressed face. He was there, waiting and pleading silently, his innocent, unsuspecting eyes piercing yours and turning you into their slave.

You loathed feeling as if you owned him anything at all. You loathed the constant guilt which never let you rest, and the corrosive anxiety that came with it; you utterly despised having to justify or clarify the reasons for anything you'd ever done out of emotion. But your friend deserved an explanation whether you were happy about it or not.

You shifted in your seat and looked up at him again.

"What do you want to know?"

"I want you to tell me who did this to you, how they poisoned you." Newt said, gently taking your hand in his across the table. Your eyes flickered between his concerned, frowning expression and his thumb caressing your knuckles. The hold of your hand was secure and tender, but still loose enough to let you pull away if you wanted to. "Do you think it was slipped into a beverage which you unknowingly took?"

Your lower lip trembled and you caught it between your teeth, clamping down onto it until it left a deep mark. Newt's blue eyes bore into yours with such scandalous intensity, and you found yourself bound to the chair by heavy invisible ropes; they were snaking all over you, twisting and tightening mercilessly around your calves, thighs, arms and neck, roughly biting into the skin.

The room suddenly began shrinking, maliciously stretching out its claws to devour you too. You found yourself running out of air, your dry throat stinging and constricting further with every thirsty gulp of oxygen. 

You never let it show when you simply rubbed the bridge of your nose, eyes wandering the kitchen as you were looking for a way to rephrase your thoughts and, hopefully, lessen their impact. So you went for a vague and diplomatic:

"Not necessarily."

"Then what happened?" Newt urged as panic began to creep into his body with each passing second. His irregular heartbeat was pounding in his temples when he finally asked the question he so dreaded, his usually collected and warm voice now on the verge of breaking. 

"Did anyone force you to drink it?"

If it wasn't for the seriousness of the situation, you would have laughed at how his oblivious mind completely disregarded the most ironic, but truthful explanation. Newt would have never been able to get this right no matter how smart he was. His intelligence couldn't go beyond his own prejudices.

You slipped your hand away from his in shame, staring into your lap in an attempt to chase away your own tears.

"I am very sorry, Newt. You've got it all wrong."

The wizard stood still, gaze fixed on you in great confusion. But an unfamiliar tension rising in his chest suggested that the words he was about to hear, would be far more devastating and horrifying than he could have ever imagined.

It took you enormous effort to swallow down your terror, clenching your trembling sweaty palms into fists as your mind resembled a chaotic highway of destructive thoughts.

And among all, one stood out.

A pause.

"I drank it of my own accord."

Silence.

Ticking of a clock.

Hitched breathing.

A few large tears rolled down your cheeks and fell onto your shirt. 

This time Newt did not reach for your cold hand.

Pursing your lips into a thin line, you tried to muffle a whimper that was fighting to rip from your sore throat. You squeezed your eyes shut, a few more tears falling.

He was going to send you away. He was going to turn you in and never look back. Why would he want a crazy person walking around his house or near his beasts? You were extremely mentally unstable, dangerous to everyone including yourself.

If you could harm yourself to this extent once, you'd most likely dare to do it again. And who knows who else could potentially get hurt in the process.

No sane person would ever think of this.

You were crazy.

And crazy people like you belonged in hospitals, away from the rest of the world.

He was going to kick you out. That was the least he could do. And he had every single right to.

The rough ropes vanished, replaced with a heavy, dense fog.

But one thing was clear.

I'm such a fool.

Newt hadn't spoken for what felt like a couple of hours, but you couldn't trust your perception of reality at that point. The quiet ticking of the clock drove you insane, indicating every single second in which Newt hadn't even said a word.

You couldn't really tell whether his silence was comforting or terrifying, but you only knew it was giving you time to plan out an escape if necessary. Your feet, previously glued to the ground, were now nearly standing on their toes.

And among all that, Newt's reaction was still a mystery to you as you stared at your lap.

You no longer cared for receiving loving words of encouragement and acceptance, or warm and genuine support. You needed him to say something, anything.

Why wasn't he mocking you? Why wasn't he yelling? Why wasn't he at least annoyed? Why was he frozen?

You knew it deep in your heart that nothing good would come out of this pathetic little confession of yours. Normal functioning people don't try to end their lives when things go wrong or become overwhelming. They move on.

Why couldn't you?

"Please, say something!" You begged. "I don't care what it is, just talk to me!"

A sob.

But it wasn't from you.

Right in front of you, Newt was sitting with the most broken expression you had ever seen. His face was twisted in horror and agony, disappointment swimming in his blue eyes that were shedding a tear after a tear.

"Sweetheart, why?"

Despite overflowing with emotion, you couldn't find an answer. Your messed up mind had gone blank, and you could only shrug, shaking your head slowly as you choked on a helpless whimper.

"Do I not make you happy?" Newt asked, guilt and remorse replacing his utter shock. "Have I done anything to make you feel this way?"

"Yes! I mean- No!" You blurted out in a desperate attempt to make sense out of everything. With a frustrated groan you closed your eyes, then forced yourself to take a breath before continuing.

"What I mean is, you're amazing. Truly. Your kindness has helped me out more times than I can recall and I'll be forever grateful."

"But it seems like it's not enough." Newt insisted. "Apparently I'm not doing something correctly. I thought I was. Where did I go wrong?"

"This not about you, it's about me!" You yelled. "It's not about you not doing enough, it's about me not doing enough! It's about me being a wreck while everyone around me is getting things done, achieving their goals and actually enjoying life instead of wanting to end it!

"It's about me being utterly and completely worthless and undeserving of your love because I cannot possibly give you what you need."

Newt could only stare at you stunned as you talked.

Taken aback by your own outburst, you went quiet and shrinked into your seat in shame, unable to face Newt. Even if he didn't think about kicking you out, he was surely considering it now.

"I am so terribly sorry for yelling at you, I know I shouldn't have…" You apologized sorrowfully. "You don't have to deal with me anymore, I'm leaving at dawn.

"It was wrong and unfair of me to bring this upon you. Again, I'm very sorry."

Snapping back to reality, Newt jumped from his seat to kneel in front of you.

"No one's going anywhere." He firmly stated, taking your hand in his. His eyes looked up at yours with such sincere warmth and pure love, it sent an electric shock through you. "You're staying here. With me."

"But I-"

"I don't want to hear it. You're the most thoughtful, caring and benevolent person I've had the joy of meeting in my entire life. Your current mental state does not define who you are, neither does it make you unlovable or worthless.

"I know it's going to take you a long time until you finally see yourself the way that I do. I also know I cannot possibly promise you that things will be okay. But what I can promise you is that I'll always be here for you when they're not."

Newt gently guided you to sit next to him on the floor, hand still in his. The way his soft and warm palm brushed your skin and his fingers smoothly found their way between yours, suggested that your hands were specifically made to hold one another; a divine match, strengthened and blessed by destiny herself.

Your heart was pounding insanely fast in your chest when Newt lifted his hand to tenderly brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I'm not able to state that I understand exactly how you feel or what you're going through. But I'm more than willing to try."

Rivers of tears were flowing down your cheeks, this time from the immense happiness that this man could make you feel. You didn't feel the need to wipe them away.

"I love you. And I want to help you."

And Newt wrapped his arms around your trembling body so tightly, completely enveloping you in his welcoming embrace. 

You gladly returned it with as much strength as you could muster, burying your face into the crook of his neck and running your fingers through his wild ginger hair as you cried out your wounded soul. 

For the first time you let yourself cry, and this time not in the company of those dark windows, not in the piercing cold of your malicious room.

Instead, this time you had Newt's loving arms around you. You freely sobbed and whimpered, and wailed, and Newt was there to hold you; to hold all your tears for you.

You were still hurting, and you were going to be hurting for quite awhile before reaching the moment when happiness wouldn't seem like a distant, bittersweet dream.

But, until then, you'd always have Newt's embrace to always come back to.

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Masterlist

[theatralist]

Yaay awesome!!

Back off

Pairing: Ravn X Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: angst + fluff at the end

Warnings: strong language and touching without consent (kind of)

Word count: 788

Summary: You and Ravn have been friends since elementary school, best friends to be exact. Nothing more. One night you attend a party together and things start to get interesting.

Requested: Yes! <3

"Shut up!" you scream across the college campus. "I didn't sleep with my teacher to get better grades. I just happen to be a lot smarter than you," sticking out your tongue towards Ravn. "In your dreams." he laughs. "No seriously, you know i have been waiting for the one." you blush a bit. Ravn nods and awkwardly follows you into a building.

About 2 hours pass and you're now on your way to your dorm with Ravn behind you like a lost puppy. "Need something? You know i'm going to get ready for the party tonight, you don't expect me to change in front of you do you?" a giggle escapes your mouth. "Hell no, i'd rather take the quiz we just had again" he turns around quickly before saying one more thing. "I'll pick you up at 8."

Water running down your back, you relax and start singing a song that just came on the radio. You're interrupted by a loud knocking on your door. "Shit is it 8 already? No way." Quickly looking at your phone you panick. "7:55 pm, he's early!" Just in a towel, you run to open the door before you realize what you're actually wearing. Ravn opens his mouth about to say something but you immediately shut the door in his face. "Just wait a bit! I'll be ready in no time," you shout as you're opening your closet. Thank god mom took you shopping last month because otherwise, you'd have nothing to wear. It took you about 10 minutes to get ready but at this point, you're late anyway. Ravn had knocked on you like 5 times during that time but you ignored him. Finally, it's time to go, you open the door. Ravn had a whole speech prepared because you had left him waiting, but now that he's seen you he's left speechless. You clear your throat and he snaps out of his thoughts. "Right yeah ok let's go," he says with a blank face.

The music is so loud you can barely think. Parties weren't your cup of tea but you promised your mom you'd socialize a bit more. She's tired of seeing you alone every time you and Ravn fight. "I'm gonna get us something to drink, wait here!" Ravn shouts, you were about to ask him to repeat himself since you didn't hear a thing but he already left. Standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room a guy you've never met before approaches you. "Hey there sweetheart, why are you standing here all alone? Such a pretty thing shouldn't be left by itself in a place like this, don't you think?" he touches your cheek and you flinch. You can't say a word though, you're all frozen because his hand is already on your waist trying to go lower. "Get the fuck away from them!" Even tho the music is so loud you can hear these words clearly. Ravn is standing right behind that guy with two cups in his hands. He throws them down not thinking about anything but what's happening in front of his eyes. " I said back off, you asshole. Why do you think you can touch someone without their consent?" he screams once again. "What makes you think i don't have their consent huh?" says the creep cockily. "Well first off anyone could tell by their face that they're super uncomfortable and second they're here with me, so back the fuck off." Before anyone else could reply to that he punches the guy right in the middle of his face, takes your hand, and runs out. You still haven't said a word, purely because of shock.

Once you're far enough Ravn finally stops and looks at you. He's expecting some kind of reaction from you but since he doesn't get it he starts talking himself. "Ok look i'm sorry i was so aggressive just now but i couldn't just stand there and look at him touching you like that. No one can touch you like that, only me." he blurs out not thinking, then it hits him. "Uhh only if you'd want me to of course. Fuck what am i saying." he turns around and tries to calm himself down. "I would," you say. "What?" he turns back to you, eyes wide. "I would want that. Actually, i've been crushing on you for a while now." you're a blushing mess. "Jesus why haven't you said that sooner, i could've done this ages ago." he takes your face in his hands, about to get closer but he waits for your approval. You nod, still blushing like crazy. Your lips touch for the first time, definitely not for the last though.

I hope this is at least a little bit like the person who requested this imagined! <3 If you liked it feel free to reblog!

[theatralist]

Need to say it

I don’t understand what I’m doing so wrong that people hate me. I can’t see it. I’m an altruist, ready to give up my own interests to help others. That’s what I’m used to doing. But that’s my curse.

I never had friends at school. Nobody wanted to be my friend. Everyone were just using me, while spreading gossips behind my back. I tried not to pay attention, as I got used to this attitude. But when some new students appeared, it all turned into open bullying. So I was absolutely happy to leave this ugly class and go to university. 

But now, when I’m on my third year, I start feeling that my groupmates hate me because of my altruism. I just... I try to help them, to cheer them up, as some of them had some problems in the past, and I just don’t want them to feel bad again. I call them my friends, but I’m sure they just want me gone as soon as possible. Because they think I’m annoying. 

I can’t see why this is the problem. I don’t understand why being an altruist is that bad. I tried to change and become more egoistic, but... I just can’t, that’s wrong, I don’t like it. 

Well, what’s the point of all this. I start feeling depressed, but nobody believes me. That’s it.

Have a good day! If you want me to never write again and get out of the search list, just tell me.

[theatralist]

Ateez keep coming for my soul

Maybe it’s a bit late for it, but... HOLY HEAVEN! “Fireworks” is trully a masterpiece! Sooo much energy filling your soul and body, making you believe that you are capable of everything in this Universe! And choreo? So burning. And visuals? Well, I can describe their looks, but it will take eternity. Just remember San... and now you feel what I feel. And other songs are one better than the other. Especially “Celebrate”. I mean, it has really helped me through my fighting with depression and anxiety. Btw, English-speaking Atinys, who saw the Youtube comment from Катя Петрова and responded, thank you very much for your support (it’s my Youtube Account. Still too lazy to change its name)! 

So, coming back to Ateez. Well, you all know it, I guess. They are totally great! I don’t have enough adj’s to describe the effect of their songs! Just... new comeback=new surprise. Ofc wishing all best things to Mingi, hope he’ll get well pretty soon. 

And btw. Did you notice that? We have now two albums named “Fever”. And. In MVs for both albums (speaking about title songs) we have...Seonghwa in “Inception” (that I’M IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE part)... and San in “Fireworks”. Coincidence? Well maybe)) But I like to think that it’s a part of the meaning of the name. 

Also, I write this post to ask you, dear Atinys all over Tumblr. I ask you to share your opinion about “Fireworks” (MV and shows)^^ Will be happy to hear from you. And, maybe, we can make some connections here (just lonely...)

Anyway, FIGHTING!

[theatralist]

For those who didn’t see ONEUS yet

In case you don’t know who ONEUS are. They are six amazing Korean idols with brain exploding concept!

So, if you know who they are...Have you seen their comeback yet? Do you already hear this TRA DA DA DAA thing in your head? Because I FREAKIN DO! For three days already I’ve been hearing this Ravn’s part in my head...

[theatralist]

Ok, 20 is just perfect age to accept your real Hogwarts house. Yeah, I had thought of myself as somebody else for AGES. But now I actually see that all sortoings turned out to be quite right. 

So yeah, I’m “coming home” to Hufflepuff! Just to admit that I have been overworking XD

[theatralist]

OMG

OMG, I’m turning twenty today... I have turned already, actually. It fills so...strange to be twenty XD

[theatralist]

Now get that cinnabon in your news line! Bam!

[theatralist]

Just Silly Thoughts

Well I woke up today with only one thought in my silly head. I. Want. A Dragon. Just as simple as that. I want to have a personal Dragon. As I was born in the year of Dragon, I guess, I have kind of special sympathy for these creatures (not only for them, let’s be Frank). So it’s kind of forever dream to have my own winged mighty creature covered with shiny scales, with teeth and claws sharp enough to protect itself and its owner... Of course it’s just a dream, but... weeell, what about Axolotls? They’re not the actual dragons, I know, but they are...SALAMANDERS! So... how about getting an axolotl and naming it Newton? You see, recently I’ve got a HUUUUGE crush on Newt Scamander, whose Russian name sounds like Newt Salamander. So, the axolotl could become a great reference. Like, calling him Newton Artemis Fido Axolotl, as axolotls are salamanders...yeah, quite silly, maybe...don’t judge me for this, I just need to fill my mind with some nice and silly thoughts not to get absolutely depressed now...so sorry if my post bothers you, I just wanted to share.

[theatralist]

EVER AFTER (Balem Abrasax)

send me ‘EVER AFTER’ and a dynamic and my muse will tell you truthfully how they see the best possible ending for them, the worst possible ending for them, and the ending they think is the most plausible.

***

Omg, this is an old one, I need to confess I needed to search for this meme to watch what it was about. But let's go.

***

Having the word, Balem Abrasax:

The best possible: "There's no "ending" when you make use of RegeneX". *scoffs slightly, seeming to be a bit bored*

The worst possible: "It's not going to happen. But it would be loosing the control of the House of Abrasax to Titus. Nothing could be worse than having to be below him in the family's hierarchy"

The most possible: "Keeping things as they are. I'll never loose my supremacy, actually"

(Well, let's say it's all before Jupiter Jones showing in, lol. Thanks for your ask!)

[theatralist]

I want to know more! Someya Toshiyuki’s 20 Answers to 20 Questions

Taken from this article, here is the translation to the 20 questions:

Q1. What is your nickname? A1. Some-sama

Q2. What sport are you best at? A2. Volleyball

Q3. What special ability would you want? A3. The ability to see things in slow motion.

Q4. What thing would you be unable to live without? A4. Face masks

Q5. What are your strong points/weak points? A5. I have a lot of hair/It falls out

Q6. What do you do on your days off? A6. Go to the movies

Q7. What are your hobbies/special skills? A7. Road biking/acrobatics

Q8. An actor you admire? A8. Fujiawara Tatsuya-san

Q9. Something you like said to you? A9. “You’re weird.” [lit. You’re strange in the head]

Q10. Your number one treasure? A10. I still want to find it.

Q11. A present you would be happy to receive? A11. I would be happy to receive anything.

Q12. What do you do before going to sleep? A12. Fantasize

Q13. What is one of your charming points? A13. My eyes.

Q14. What do you keep in mind when you normally perform? A14. Always do my best.

Q15. Your favorite book? A15. Yamada Amy’s “I Can’t Study”

Q16. Things you like to focus on in your own acting? A16. The times I’m not speaking lines.

Q17. What do you struggle with during practices? A17. Getting wrapped up in my thoughts.

Q18. What is your motto? A18. Anything other than dying is just a scratch.

Q19. What are stage plays to you? A19. Something worth doing.

Q20. A word to OZmall readers! A20. I’m going soon!

[theatralist]

sick // newt scamander

request: hey! I have a prompt to you! Could you please make a newtxreader where the reader is sick but doesn’t want to worry newt so she keeps trying to take care of the beasts and passes out cause she sick and the creatures try to protect her and help her and they try to get newts attention and he finds her surrounded by his beasts that are protective of her and he picks her up and nurses her back to health, Thank you! (by anon)

a/n: thiS SOUNDS SO CUTE OHMYFRICK

Since she was little, (y/n) had always had a weak immune system, and tended to fall ill much more often than her peers normally did. Even as she grew older, not much changed in terms of health.

However, (y/n) had never let her tendency to often get sick drag her down. After meeting Newt and eventually falling in love with him, she grew attached to his magical beasts as time passed, just as they had grown to love her too. (a/n: WHAT THE HELL AM I WRITING)

—–

“(y/n), love? Would you mind helping me feed the Bowtruckles, please?”

“On it!” (y/n) replied, snapping her book shut, sneezing loudly as Newt entered their homey shed. Rubbing her temples, (y/n) stood up slowly as Newt furrowed his eyebrows.

“Love, you don’t look very well. Do you think you should stay in bed-” “I’m fine, Newt. You don’t have to worry about me, okay?” Hurriedly reassuring her adorable boyfriend, (y/n) grabbed a bucket of wood lice, strolling out of the shed before Newt started worrying again.

As (y/n) made her way to the Bowtruckles’ tree, however, she felt her head ache worse than before, forcing her to lean against a wooden post, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Taking several deep breaths in an attempt to calm her throbbing head, (y/n) stumbled the last few steps to the tree that housed Newt’s several Bowtruckles. Suddenly, (y/n) felt pain shoot through her temples, causing her to drop her bucket and fall heavily against the trunk of the tree. The last thing (y/n) saw was her vision going black around the edges, a wave of darkness washing over her.

—–

The instant (y/n)’s body hit the ground with a heavy thud, the Bowtruckles froze, confused. They quickly realised what had happened, however, as they jumped off the branches of the Chestnut tree they were living in, surrounding (y/n), hesitantly prodding at her cheek gently.

After around two minutes of no conscious response from (y/n), the Bowtruckles had began shrieking loudly among themselves. By then, the Niffler and Frank the Thunderbird had arrived at the scene, curious.

Frank had settled his large, majestic self in front of where (y/n) lay, holding a rather protective stance over her. The Bowtruckles had too spread out around (y/n) in a defensive position, clearly overestimating just how intimidating they really were.

Meanwhile, the Niffler had managed to free (y/n)’s silver crescent moon necklace from around her neck, and before any creature could notice, swiftly took off in the direction of Newt’s shed.

—–

When Newt noticed the familiar silver necklace in the paws of the most annoying creature he had ever met, he was absolutely furious. He had given (y/n) that necklace on their very first anniversary, and this stupid, stupid, Niffler had to bloody steal it from her!

“You little - vexing little git - give. It. Back!” Newt had never felt so frustrated as he attempted to grab the vexing Niffler as he chased it around the shed. As said creature scampered out the doorway, Newt let out an irritated sigh as he sped after it. He would be damned if he lost (y/n)’s gift to the Niffler.

Sprinting after the little beast, Newt grew slightly confused as the Niffler approached a huge group of his magical creatures, all of them seemingly standing in a circle around something. He didn’t even notice when the Niffler disappeared into the fray, because he was very, very, confused as to what had attracted all the beasts to leave their usual habitats and come here.

“Ex-xcuse me - make way, please - very, very sorry - (y/n)?” Newt felt as if his heart was leaping out of his chest when he saw his (y/n) on the ground, unconscious and sickeningly pale and seemingly lifeless.

No, no, no, no, no she’snotdeadshe’snotdeadshe’snotdead.

Gently pulling (y/n) into his arms, Newt was trembling as he hurriedly checked her pulse, breath hitching in his throat. He had never been more relieved when he felt (y/n)’s heartbeat - irregular and extremely faint - but a heartbeat nonetheless.

Scooping (y/n) up into his arms, Newt sent an appreciative nod to all his creatures, grinning slightly at the Niffler, who had offered (y/n)’s delicate necklace back to Newt.

The necklace dangled from Newt’s coarse fingers as he gently set (y/n) onto the bed, he himself settling into the chair beside her. Worry was still flowing through every single vein in his body - but also regret.

He knew that (y/n) got ill easily.

He should’ve taken care of her more properly.

He should’ve made her rest when she looked off.

Newt Scamander, you are a terrible boyfriend.

Despite all that, it was a sure fact that Newt wouldn’t be letting (y/n) out of his sight for quite a while.

a/n: huh - roxanna

SEND IN YOUR REQUESTS !!

[theatralist]

O.o....T_T!

I don’t want to miss you (Newt x Reader) PART 1

Requested by anon:  Hey! Can you write an imagine where Newt and reader had an argument and in heat of the moment he said something really hurtful which made her walk out on him? And then maybe Grindelwald is kidnapping her as a bait for Newt and he comes for the rescue after which they make up and fluff? So basically like hella angsty in the begging and then super fluffy happy ending!😊♥️

I really wrote a lot so I had to slipt it up. Here’s PART 1! Enjoy!

Pairing: Newt Scamander x reader

Word count: 2,767 Part 2

“Can I help you?”

You stood behind Newt who was preparing some food. He had rescued three occamy-babys from an black marketeer last week. The little creatures needed good care and attention which Newt was willingly to give. At the same time he had also adopted a new creature. He studied the foreign species and nourished it, doing all this while working on his manuscript.

“No need, thanks”, the magizoologist mumbled, preoccupied.

You nodded to yourself, leaving the case by climbing up the ladder. You looked around in your shared apartment in London. There’s was nothing you could do, you’ve already cleaned every room.

You went to the bedroom, letting yourself fall on the soft mattress. A sigh escaped your lips. You turned on your left shoulder to face the empty space where Newt used to sleep.

The last time you two shared a bed was 2 months ago. Since then, Newt has been working non stop on his book. He luckily found a publisher, but the deadline they gave him was ridiculous. “I have no choice, Y/N”, he had said back then, “they are the only company that are willing to publish my book!”

You snorted at the memory. You admired your boyfriend’s passion and ambition, but he took it too far. He never left his case, he would work from morning till evening or all night long, you couldn’t tell. You brought him tea and food and every time you saw him your heart broke.

Newt looked worse each day, exhaustion drawn on his face. He had dark circles, sunken cheeks and the glow in his eyes was long gone. You were worried about his well-beeing, but you there was nothing you could do. Nothing to get him away from work, even for a few seconds. Absolutly nothing you could…

“Wait”, you said out loud, jumping out of bed and sprinted towards Newt’s office.

You had an idea! Why on earth didn’t you think about that in the first place?

You looked for something in perticular, searching all the drawers and bookshelves until you found it: a small brown leather notebook. A victorious smile formed on your lips.

“Y/N?”

Newts soft voice appeared behind you, causing you to spin around and hiding the found object behind your back. You gave him a nervous smile.

“Yes?”, you responded innocently and Newt just walked next to you, looking for some papers on his desk.

It seemed he was too engaged in his thoughts to wonder what you were doing in his room. Your eyes studies his face - the dark circles got even darker.

“Darling…” Your hand caressed his shoulder in a soothing way. Oh, how you’ve missed touching him.

“Hm?”, Newt just hummed, collecting a few papers.

You bit your lower lip, intensifying the pressure of your hand and began to massage up his neck. You pressed your body against his back to reveal your intentions, just the scent of him made your inner thighs clench in anticipation. But Newt stepped back.

“Y/N, no! You know I can’t.” You crossed your arms, trying your best to hide the book.

“You can’t or you don’t want to?”, you snaped back, causing Newt to roll his eyes.

You waited for an answer, tipping aggressively your finger against your arm. Newt sensed your frustration, observing you through his messy fringe as if you were one of his creatures. A dangerous creature.

“Please, you know that I have work to do. I don’t have time for… that”, the wizard defended himself. He locked his gaze to the ground, somewhat feeling embarressed for turning you down.

“I know…”, you sighed, the anger now replaced by sadness and Netw took notice of that.

He stepped in front you, waiting until you raised your head to meet his eyes.

He then squeezed your hand firmly and offered you a weak smile before he left you, disappearing into his case for the rest of the evening.

…

“No… leave him alone…! No, NO!!”

You tore your eyes open, panting heavily as you realized it was just another nightmare.

“Jesus…” You sat up in your bed, wiping the tears away.

It was nothing unusual. Since you got to know that Grindelwald had esccaped from the Macusa, the same nightmare terrorised you almost every night:

It ended with Newt beeing killed and there was nothing you could do to stop Grindelwald, because you were just a Muggle as the magizoologist liked to call you.

You tried to calm down, but it was sheer impossible in the dead of the night. So you decided to climb inside the case, seeking your boyfriend’s comfort to erase the pain.

You weren’t surprised to see a dimmed light in his room. Newt sat at his desk, wrting on his manuscript.

“Newt”, you whispered, your voice raspy from your sleep and crying.

A sigh escaped Newt, but you tip toed behind his back to hug him gently.

Suddenly, the wizard jumped from his chair, freeing himself from your grip. You stumbled back and caught your balance in time, looking at him puzzled and hurt.

“Y/N, please, for once and for all: I need time for work!”

You were taken aback by the Hufflepuff’s harsh tone and it made you tear up again.

“I just want to see you, is that too much to ask for?”, you sobbed and Newt ran his hands through his reddish hair, massaging his temples afterwards in a frustrating way.

“No, love, no! But all I ask for you is to give me the time I need to finish my book!”

“But I miss you, Newt! I never see you!”

He fumbled with his hands between the two of you. “You see me right know!” You scoffed.

“Newt, that’s not what I mean! I miss beeing in a relationship with you, touching you, talking to you, laughing with you…”

“I don’t…-!”, Newt was interrupted by sharp loud squeaking noises.

The occamy-babys have woken up due to their argument. He turned his head to their direction and looked back to you. Newt was obviously torn between his creatures and you, hovering on his spot, but then he made a decision.

He turned his back and walked away. “Coming! Mommy’s coming!”, you heard his faint voice.

You stood there for a while, pulling yourself together before you returned to the apartment. Newt had chosen his creatures over you, but you were not willing to give up on him. Not yet.

So you opened the notebook you took from Newt’s room and it wasn’t long until you found it: a telephone number.

You grapped the receiver, tipping in the number with trembling hands while your heart was beating fast. This idea had to work. You had to take care of Newt.

You bit nervously on your lower lip when someone took up.

“Goldstein?”

You smiled. It was Queenie.

__

“I’m so thankul and I really appreciate your help”, you announced in front of the small group. Tina, Queenie and Jacob gave you a warm smile in response.

“Sure thing, honey. How could we not? It’s about Newt”, Queenie said in her typical tuneful voice, making you feel sure about the whole thing.

You’ve decided to invite the trio over to London in hopes to get Newt out of his case, enjoying some quality time with his friends.

It was evening and you’ve prepared a nice dinner together with the Goldtsein sisters. Jacob had baked some pastries for desserts and the whole apartment smelled deliciously inviting.

You couldn’t remember the last time when Newt and you cooked and ate a meal together…

Queenie read your mind and put a hand on your shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, don’t worry”, she whispered and you smiled. “Thank you, Queenie.”

The food and plates were neatly placed on the table, a faint jazz melody was playing in the background to create a cozy atmosphere. You lit the last candle on and finally eyed your work.

You were impressed by it.

“Well, I think you should tell your man about his luck”, Jacob suggested, an amused grin on his lips. You nodded and excused yourself. You walked inside your bedroom and opened the case.

You took a deep breath and tugged your hair behind your ears before you stepped with your foot inside it.

Newt sat on his table, of course, wrtiting furiously on some paper. But this time he noticed your presence right away. He turned his head to you, eyes wide, but then they turned soft as he stood up.

“Y/N, love…”, he rushed over to you and embraced your body firmly.

You were surprised by his behaviour. “N-Newt?”, you asked carefully, but the wizard just sighed, burring his nose in the strands of your silky hair.

“I’m sorry for yesterday, I said some ugly things that were inappropiate and I didn’t mean it and and… and I don’t want to lo…-”, Newt stumbled over his own words but you hushed him by pressing your finger on his lips. He stared at you, his full attention on your next words.

“Newt, it’s okay. I understand that you are stressed, but I’ve got a surprise for you and I would like you to come up with me”, you explained

You could see a curious glint in his eyes, but gis gaze drifted behind you.

The magizoologist had to take care for his new adopted creature, it needed extra care due to his new surroundings and companions. But at the same time he didn’t want to ruin your conciliation. So Newt nodded and grabbed your hand as the two of you left his case.

Barely out of Newt’s world, you guided him to the living-room while Newt laughed about your child-like excitement.

“Close your eyes”, you commanded as you stood in front of the door. “What?” You rolled your eyes, positioning yourself behind your boyfriend to cover his eyes with your hands.

“Open the door” You giggled as Newt tried to grab the door knoob blindfolded, but he succeeded and you both stepped in. Tina, Queenie and Jacob behaved quietly as they tried their best to contain their laughters.

Then, you pulled your hands away. “Open your eyes!”

Newt did as he was told, his eyes falling on his friends who cheered and threw their arms in the air. “Surprise!”, they yelled synchronously and walked to the puzzled wizard to greet him.

Newt didn’t say anything, his eyes still wide in confusion, but when Jacob gave him a friendly hug the Hufflepuff got back to his senses.

“W-What are you doing here?”, he simply asked, letting himself hug by Tina.

“Visiting you of course!”, she spoke for their group and Queenie was next in line to give him a warm squeeze. Newt was obviously overwhelmed by the whole situation, not able to form another sentence.

__

The evening didn’t go as you planned. You could see that Newt wasn’t enoying himself at all. In fact, he didn’t talk much during dinner, his eyes locked on his plate. You observed him while chatting with your guests and friends, but you saw how Newt’s expression got darker.

Queenie and you took the dirty dishes to the kitchen and from the corner of your eyes you saw Newt standing in front of the window, a glas of whisky in his hand that Jacob had poured him. He was standing still, the attempts of the bakery to start a conversation with his fellow friend unseccessful.

Then, Newt placed his glas on the table. “Excuse me”, he mumbled and rushed out of the room. Everybody watched him dissapearing and you knew where he went. You were angry. How could he behave like that? Even in front if his friends who traveled from New York to London just to see him.

“I’m so sorry”, you apologized, but Tina smiled. “It’s okay. Go after him”, she encouraged you and you nodded, leaving the group behind.

As you excpected the magizoologist was inside of his beloved case. You stamped on the wooden floor of his shed.

“Care to explain me this rude behaviour of yours?!”, you confronted him, but Newt didn’t turn around, he busied himself with chopping some raw meat.

“Newt!”, you yelled at him, your patience far gone at this point. That’s when he spun around and faced you with the most angriest expression you’ve ever seen on him.

“I though you would understand me, Y/N!”

“I do!”

“No, you don’t! If you would, then Tina, Queenie and Jacob wouldn’t be here!”

You tried to calm down, your body already shaking of pure rage. “I did it for you. I though it would be a nice break to see your friends again! Get your mind off and..-”

Newt motioned you to shut up by his raised hand, his eyes were closed and his eyebrows knitted on his normally smooth freckled skin. He was trying so hard to not explode.

“Y/N, what I need is time for work and not a stupid party”, he said through gritted theeth.

“Stupid party?”, you repeated his words affected. “This STUPID party with your friends was supposed to help you!”

“I didn’t ask for that so don’t blame this on me!”, Newt hissed as he pointed up, gesturing to your visit.

“You know excatly that I can’t afford myself this much free time, I have a new creature to take care of and you forced me to stay up there with you! I do not see in any way how that was supposed to help me rather to stress me out even more!”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, fighting back the tears as Newt’s harsh words hitted you.

“So I’m a millstone round your neck?”, you asked, your vision becoming blurry due to the tears but you wanted to keep in.

Newt seemed to hesitate. “Yes… Yes you are indeed”, he confirmed and you flinched a little.

He eyed you, waiting for you to say something, but when you didn’t he simply turned around and kept chopping the meat.

“I have a lot of responsibility to take, but I assume you don’t know much about that”, he mumbled to himself but you heard every single word.

He said it. You never thought that he would say it out loud, but here was the proof. The worst scenario you’d always imagined in your darkest times went finally true: Newt got tired of you. And by now he probably hated you. It was never your intention forcing him to neglect his creature, you just wanted the best for him. But apparently you’ve chosen the wrong way.

“I see”, you whispered, tears streaming down your face because you didn’t hold back anymore. You’ve already lost.

“I wish you all the best for your life, Newt Scamander. I hope you will be finally happy without me”, you hissed and fled out of his case. For the last time.

You could hear Newt’s swearing far behind you. With all of your strength you threw the lit shut, stumbling out into the living-room just to get to the apartment-door.

“Y/N? What happened?”, Tina asked worried and stood up from her spot, but you didn’t pay attention to her. You needed fresh air, you just needed to get out of here, you couldn’t take it anymore.

You grapped your coat before you left the apartment, sprinting down the stairs. The cold night air mixed with your wet tears, making you shiver. But it didn’t stop you running. You had no destiny though, but you didn’t need one.

Newt hated you and now there was no one you could return to.

The streets of London were empty, everyone was sleeping peacfuly or spent a lovely evening with their friends and families.  You were thankful for the desertion.

You came to a hault after a while, your body telling you to take a rest. You panted and leaned against a wall. You then started to inspect your surroundings. You were in a rather dark alley, there were no street lights and you had no idea where you were.

Then, there were footsteps behind you. Far in the distance, but moving straight towards you.

Your body froze and you couldn’t move a single muscle. Your eyes widened.

“Well, who do we have here?”

You knew this voice. This dark and scary voice, the voice of a man that you were most afraid of. And now he was right behind you. The most wanted wizward in the world.

“Grindelwald.”

TO BE CONTINUED… Part 2

[theatralist]

It just tore my heart...

Rules for sending ships

In order for me to ship you properly, your request must include:

1. Specify an era (Marauders, Golden trio, prequels)

2. Brief description of your appearance (hair, eyes, skin color, height, tattoos etc.)

3. Gender and sexuality (optional, but it would help choosing a person you'd be able to date)

4. Hogwarts house, zodiac sign, personality type (aka INFP-T, for example)

5. Details about your personality, interests, everything unique about you!

Have fun!💕

Ships are currently CLOSED.

Masterlist

[theatralist]

Uwaaaaaaaaaaa

Warriors of the West 

Sad and unfortunate news about the postponement of the stage, but alas it has to happen during these times. So instead I’ll get hope for a second season and wait until these gorgeous men appear on the screen in all their ping-pong glory.  P.S I love West more than East. Bad boy’s. 

[theatralist]

Their “ugh” are very funny I cant stop laughing 😆😆

[theatralist]

😍😍😍

TW Boys’ reaction to their crush putting themself under a sleeping curse pt.2.5

(Having trouble writing the rest, but here’s Vil and Epel’s story headcanon things.)

Pomefiore

Vil:

- He ripped open the Pomefiore potion cabinet. There was nothing but a clean circle in the sea of dust where the draught of eternal slumber once sat. You stole it. Vil stood there, staring at the mockingly empty space. It wasn’t hard to tell that you were going through something, a blind man could see it. He had tried to lift your spirits with a few makeovers and assuring you that you were a stunningly beautiful being not as beautiful as him but that’s a pretty high bar to set. Anger bubbled up in the hollow of his chest. How could he have been so foolish as to believe that meager complements were all it would take to help you? He slammed the cabinet doors, stomping past a worried Epel and Rook on his way towards the door. “Vil,” the first year hesitantly called after him, “where are you go-.” “To kiss a corpse! A selfish, beautiful corpse!” No one knew how to react to the dorm leader’s response, and he wasn’t going to wait for them. He barged into the infirmary without a care for the other patients or busy nurses, and placed a hasty kiss on your lips. Vil could feel his anger melt into relief as your eyes fluttered open. Suddenly you were pulled into his warm embrace, the scent of sweet lavender welcomed your drowsey mind back to reality. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, ok?” The words were soft, but they pierced your heart. Tears welled up in the corner of your eyes. “I’m here....please, don’t forget that.”

Epel:

- You...you were gone? Epel’s heart sank as Vil finished up the announcement. No, not gone. Just asleep. But was that really any better? A hand clamped down on his shoulder, snapping the silver haired boy from his train of thought. “You don’t look so good,” it was Rook. “That won’t do. What would Vil say if this causes you to break out?” Something cold spread through Epel’s chest hearing those words. He couldn’t care any less about his dorm master’s aesthetic obsession, not now. Not with you like this. Ice blue orbs pierced out from beneath the young man’s silvery brows. “Perhaps a trip to the infirmary will help with that,” if the glare affected the vice dorm head in any way, he wasn’t letting it show. He continued, wrapping an arm around Epel’s shoulders, “I’ll gladly escort you, of course!” The first year struggled only a little before simply allowing Rook to lead him out of the dormitory. It didn’t take long for the pair to arrive at the castle and navigate the grim hallways. Only after they stepped through the doorway did Rook finally free the youth from his clutches, then not so gently shoved him. “Hey! What was that.....for...oh,” Epel gaped, eyes glued to one spot. You were so still on the cot. So peaceful. So cold. The world dulled as he studied your form, like a marble statue. Why did you leave? “You know.” The young man started, he didn’t realize his friend had come to his side. “The stories say that true love’s kiss can break any curse. Though, how true love is any different than normal love beats me...then again, maybe it’s not my place to judge.” He gave Epel a soft pat on the shoulder, before twirling around and strutting out the door. The two of you were alone now. Epel slowly came ever closer, watching as your chest rise and fall with every shallow breath. The tips of his fingers traced the leangth of your arm, up and across the span of your shoulder, eventually finding their way to the base of your head. He didn’t know how this mythical ‘true love’ was any different either. What he did know, was that another second without your smile, your warmth, was a second far too long. Heavenly soft lips coaxed you from your slumber. They were so warm...so sweet. Just as you began to reciprocate, they pulled away. Damnit! Your eyes flicked open. Epel’s beautifully flustered face was merely centimeters away from your own. Those angelic lips quirked into a smile, “Welcome home.”