theanistonmanicaro-blog - Tumblr blog

theanistonmanicaro-blog · 6 years ago

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TO THAT DUDE I'VE BEEN LIKING FOR 4 YEARS AND IT'S ALL FOR nothing.

Dude hey. Naf li wisq probabli mhux ha thabblu minn xejn imma Ghada waqt xi free nista inkellmek pls? Like naf li ma tafnix u jien ma nafekx speci u jien naf li int taf li ilek toghgobni ghal sentejn u fuqhom. Just il haga hi vra stramba tbh avolja ma nafekx minn alla u nejk so ye .. dw mx ha niehodlok hfna minn hinek just i rly need closure ghax jien ffukkjata u like automatically niggrava laffarijiet ghax hlief nahxi hajti manafx naghmel. So ye can we talk a bit 2morrow pls?

Ghala toghgobni? Ghala ma setax kien joghgobni xi hadd hafna iktar ikrah minnek?

Taf kemm int helu u gustuz u qisek liblah talla. Naf li manafekx u ma tafnix minn alla imma kull darba li narak jew tkellimni jew thares lejja jew tghaddi minn hdejja qalbi tibda thabbat. U idi tibda titrembel.. qas jn stess ma nista nghid kemm toghgobni. Naf li mghandix cans mieghek ghax like qatt harist lejja u rajt il verita? Just minix nifhem ghala 4 snin ilek toghgobni xizzobb .. rajtek darba il belt u bdejt infittxek kienet qisha "amore a prima vista" okay like alabiebi. Kont narak topnotch u vera kont tkun gaaahhhh ....

Swami fottietek basta kont ilek toghgobha u marret taghmillek hekk wara gimghatejn. Nammettiha ma kontx fraht xhin sirt naf li kontu qdin rel imma la kont kuntent i was too. Nafek naqa naqa bli qaluli fuqek u nejk u xtghamel. Irrid nibki bhalissa imma vera ma nistax. Kull darba li nahseb fik jibda jkolli textix f'zaqqi. Vera cringe imma verita' hi. Meta narak manafx xjibda ghaddej minn rasi u like id drabi li nkellmek (li huma vera rari) nidhaq. Manafx ghala issa jew ghax int u ur like that jew its just my idea of u. Hadd ma jifhem kemm toghgobni. Emminni qas jien ma hsibt li kont ha toghgobni daqshekk u bla ma rrid nikkumplika laffarijiet.

Manafx ghal liema zobb ta raguni toghgobni. Nixtieq li ma toghgobnix daqshekk halli i would have gotten over u way much more quicker. Interter inkun qeda meta narak. I crai.

Ghalla ma noghgbokx? Ghala jekk tohrog mieghi ta darba u daqshekk? Irrid insir nafek naqra iktar. It's a burden me liking u and u dont even like me. You see me as a 'mhijiex kerha' person. Foxx swami. Ghala marrett taghmillek hekk? Fottietek. Ma kontx hadt gost meta rajt li kont maghha imma la kont kuntent i was too avolja ma tantx kont tafni. Nifhem jekk ma tkunx trid tavda il hadd ghax ma tkunx trid li jerga jigrilek hekk, u tinghalaq gewwa fik u ma jkun ikollok aptit il hadd. Naf li int leali jekk tidhol xi haga ma xi hadd. 'DAMAGE' sabiha u nahseb naf ghal min hi.

Happened 2 me. .we just werent anything but it happened to me with a guy like he was my bestfriend he used to make me laugh .. even just by talking to him nothing less nothing more. We didnt see eachother much because he lives on the other side from where i live. One time he started shit with a girl and put me to the side and started talking to me less everyday. Then one day when they went into a relationship he came to tell me "sorry imma mhux ha nibqa inkellmek ghax qed taqlali il paroli" qas bye xejn and i broke. I went into a depressive state from then on didnt wanna talk to anyone nothing i didnt even find the will to live. I still have a soft spot for him but now we'll see.

Kull darba li nahseb fik tqabbadni it textix. U meta narak nibda nippanikkja qisni il belha qisni qatt ma rajtek imma manafx ghala naghmel hekk. Dhalt jc jien ma hsibtnix li kont ha nidhol. One of the main reasons i wanted to come to jc was because there was gonna be you. So i studied hard for me and to get to see you everyday. For a whole month coming to school all i had was butterflies in my stomach. Felt like u were making me sick everymorning just thinking that i get to see you. Even now i have butterflies writing this and remembering. Toghgobni hafna. Sorry if this creeped you out. The whole dituation where i like u etc. I promise to cut it out. I promise it'll end. I have been liking you for 4 years approximately. I felt times where i didnt like u ... i loved u just by you doing nothing. Strange ikr .. again sorrg if it creeps u out. But just kniw i love you i guess uu .

Kull darba li narak qalbi tibda thabbat f'mod mghaggel ghanka meta ssemmik Elisa. Jew meta marak fil canteen. Idi tibda titrieghed u ma nistax ghaliha. Il feeling huwa tal ferh imma flistess hin tad dwejjaq ghax jigrili hekk biss kull meta narak jew isemmik xi hadd u vera ma nistax ghaliha.

Kull darba li narak tibda thabbat qalbi. Dude taf kemm int Gah. U like int vera t'alla u int taf li int taf tilbes. Qatt rajt dik il meme ta fejn igibu ritratti tal qalb thabbat naqa naqa bit 3? U imbghad lahhar wahda iggib il qalb thabbat hafna? Dude dik jien meta narak jew inkellmek .. u like staqsejtek nistax inkellmek u ghidtlek "ghidli ghidli" u dude your smile GAH u ghidtlek mhux issa well 1 dak il hin hekk bdiet taghmel qalbi u 2 kien kelli lesson hahahah ... il punt hu ha tasal dik id darba fejn ghidtlek jekk nistax inkellmek u ha nigi quddiemek u wisq probabli jew ma nkunx naf xha naqbad nghidlek jew i get tounge tied. Jien nghid hafna u ma rridx niehodlok rasek jew nidher antipatka jew fitta ... u issa qed nikkontempla fuq jekk ghandix nibghatlek "x'hin free?" Sempliciment fuq hekk qed nahsiba nsaqsik.

Irrid nohrog mieghek imma ma rridhiex tkun ta darba u daqshekk. Like rrid inkompli u ma rridx nieqaf mieghek kieku. I want to go on cinema and theatre dates. Dinner dates picnic dates .. anything dates as long as it's just you and me tbh imma i really do want to. Just vera ma rridiex tkun ta darba u daqshekk. Kien hemm min qalli li int tigi taqa u tqum mill bniet u alazobbok. U nifhem li forsi tkun hekk habba li gara minn ma swami jew kont qed tohrog ma wahda u weggatek jew sempliciment ghax ma tridx tintrabat imma please ghidli jekkx tkunx ta darba u daqshekk halli ma noqodx nimla rasi u nkompli niffissa. Qatt ma kont ghidt li kelli cans mieghek ghax like hares lejn haddiehor imbghad hares lejja. Vera ghar minn haddiehor jien u ghalekk ma hsibtx li kien ha jkolli cans mieghek. Ghidt ahjar inkompli niffissa u ma nohrogx mieghek milli ma joghgobni hadd iktar. Jien matantx jien tajba fdawn laffarijiet u ghalekk ghidt li ma kellix cans mieghek. Irrid nieqaf niffissa fuqek ghax mard mentali ghandi fuqi habba fik. Toghgobni hafna isaac imma ma rridx inwegga jew i get my hopes up ghalxejn. Irrid inkompli so please ghidli.

Li kieku ma hadtx linizjattiva li inkellmek ilbierah manafx xnghamel tbh.Qed nistennik tibghatli. Ghala mintix? Inhobb nara ic chat head tieghek fuq liscreen tal mob tieghi. Ghala tigi taqa u tqum minnhom il bniet? Nifhima ma tridx tavda jew trid tgawdi. Nitolbok ittini cans qeda imma mhux ha ndejqek jew nisfurzak fuq hekk. Ghallinqas hbieb please u rrid insir nafek ukoll tho. Imma mhemmx cans. Christmas Ball rrid mmur mieghek imma mhux ha jigri hekk ghax vera weird u cringe u dumb u manafx. Im a dumbfuck niffissa fuqek u naf li mghandix cans mieghek. Inhobbok I$^^C. Kun afha okay? Issa jien ha nipprova nieqaf nifdissa fuqek and i try to move on. I dont want to but i have to because it's for my own good.

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