theangstbrigade

[theangstbrigade]

colt @ finn: HAVE YOU HAD SEX DREAMS ABOUT ME???????? outraged 

 at least twice a year 

Nellie@Brett: Do you remember me. 

 TELL ME NELLIE HOW DO YOU FORGET INCREDIBLY PHYSICALLY PAINFUL MOMENTS WHERE YOU SWEAR YOURE ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR LFIE

Sileas@Ananya: Did she ever really feel love for him or even like him? Or was he always just filling the empty space she was feeling in the moment.

 yes she did. she did a lot, especially in that rebound time period was when she felt most attracted to him and most full of feelings for him, which is why the drop really fuckin hurt. she would have dated him then if he felt the same for sure. and that contributes to her broken heart lOL

Statik @ Finn: Was it worth it? What he did to Simula. Did it improve his life in any way? Did it help resolve his issues with Emilet?

 finn would say no, no, no, and no. he regrets tackling simula pretty much every day of his life, even still has nightmares about it. his intrusive thoughts fed and still feed off that moment, constantly telling him if he could lose control like that, he could kill people he loves if he's not careful. until he got his ocd under control, it was especially bad. what he got from tackling simula was a heightened and debilitating fear of himself that would send him into hyperventilation episodes. so in short, it made his life worse

ryan @ finn: do u only like being around me as a romantic prospect or is being friends good enough for u

 finn loves ryan as much as you can love a friend. he's a hopeless romantic through and through, everyone knows this, but ryan's value is so much more than romance. he's just also very dedicated to reva and sofia and while those are his priorities along with work, he still loves his friends even the ones he doesn't see as much 

reva@finn: what's the rush? is it paranoia? are you settling, if you would've ended up with anyone else what would our meeting even done to you if anything or are you just smitten regardless? 

 as cheesy as it is, finn genuinely feels everything he's missed in every other relationship with reva. he's scared to lose it, but not to the point where it makes him rush. he just kind of wants to go all in, and let her know he's all in because he adores her that much. he's trying to slow it down , but the rush is all for him because she's really everything he could ever want  

chanda@brett: i know you have to do your tsun thing but would it kill a bitch to act happy when they do stuff or she talks to him? 

   yes probably. jk he could try harder if he knew it meant that much to her

If my character was under a truth serum, what would you/your character ask them?

They have to tell the truth, remember!

[theangstbrigade]

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] began pestering estrapadingTrueblue [ET] at 20:13 --

IV: i need to talk to you

ET: Im sure you do.

ET: The fuck is this about?

IV: you said a lot of stuff last night

IV: your and colt's thing is your thing but

IV: what did i do to make you hate me so much

IV: it's fine that you do i'd just like to know why

ET: Not to sound sardonic but are you referring to recently? Or in general.

IV: let's do both

ET: Yeah cool. Because either one is relevant.

ET: Youre an idiot and I fucking hate seeing you make the same mistakes over and over again. Cuz for whatever reason you never learn from em.

ET: And somehow. It never fails but you always manage to make shit worse for you. Worse for everyone.

ET: Now theres a kid involved and we come back to the initial point.

ET: Youre an idiot.

IV: okay and you're always as vague as possible

IV: what same mistakes am i making exactly

ET: Why are we talking about this like it aint the most obvious shit in the world dude.

IV: because i don't know what the fuck i keep repeating

ET: You dont know how to take care of yourself so you take care of everyone else.

ET: You try but what the hell is the point??

ET: Youve never even liked you???????

ET: Real great example youre gettin ready to set onto someone whos got no way of formulating her own opinion about you.

ET: Its just the fucking worst reason to take in a little girl. To gratify all your own stupid fucking shortcomings.

ET: I hate it. And I hate you. End of story.

IV: that's a real nice story for someone you don't know anymore

IV: i mean i'd hate me too if any of that were true to who i am now

IV: what perspective are you looking from like 3-4 years ago

ET: I dont have to know you any more than you have to know me.

ET: Christ.

ET: Youre THAT predictable.

IV: i can admit i don't know who you are

IV: maybe i did when we were kids but people change and you changed and i changed

IV: i'm not fucking incompetent joel

ET: Still doesnt justify anything.

ET: Why you stayin with Colt huh? Do you not have a plan for her? You?

IV: i have a plan for her not being shoved around foster care like she would be if i hadn't taken her

ET: Thats your self righteous bullshit.

IV: so you're saying i should have left her but you would still hate me just as much wouldn't you

ET: Thats the general thing I was referencing to yes.

IV: because you see people as you want to see them regardless of anything else

IV: i'm finally at a place where i can admit that i've found a much better balance

IV: i can take care of other people and myself at the same time

IV: but you don't want to see that at all

IV: you want to hate me so you keep your reasons

IV: we were friends joel what the hell happened

ET: Whats a friendship if I aint ever been able to depend on you dude.

ET: You know what we talk about when we talk? You.

ET: Maybe Im fucking sick of it.

ET: Thats what the hell happened.

IV: then why didn't you tell me

ET: You didnt deserve to know.

IV: great

IV: perfect

IV: fuck

IV: look

IV: i know i was fucked up

IV: i know i was hurting other people when i was trying to be helpful

IV: like really hurting other people

IV: i have most of it under control now

ET: Well hey. Theres a point in your favor.

ET: Congratulations.

IV: do you know why i did what i did

IV: why i freaked out all the time at everyone and tried to do everything possible to make sure nothing bad happened to them

ET: No.

IV: are you going to let me tell you or will it be a waste of time

ET: Doesnt matter what I think.

IV: well it's not going to change the truth so let's give it a shot

ET: For fucks sake.

IV: ever since i can remember i couldn't stop thinking about everyone around me dying in horrible terrible but possibly preventable ways

IV: especially people i cared about

IV: i didn't want to think about it okay like

IV: but i could imagine it in my head all the time

IV: i found that there were certain items that i knew could help me in certain situations

IV: my backpack

IV: everything in my backpack i counted 3 times every day to make sure i had everything possible to do what i could to make sure no one else died

IV: it took over my life

IV: if i didn't have my backpack then i was too careless then all of those images would be right at the forefront of my mind again

IV: i remember being over at your place and the first time you got a cut all i could see was it getting infected and you dying

IV: it was awful i hated being so paranoid and neurotic all the fucking time

IV: i hated chasing you away

IV: and you're right yeah i hated who i was

IV: and it got to the point where i had somehow convinced myself i was the main problem

IV: i would lead everyone around me to their deaths because of how much my helping didn't actually help

IV: that's when the whole woods thing happened

IV: that's when i got diagnosed

IV: i got medication i got help i learned other methods to keep that stuff out of my head

IV: it didn't always work but

IV: surprise i'm sick

IV: officially fucked up

IV: and i'd like to think i've gone forward from then

IV: now you know

ET: Still dont see the point of you trying to level with me.

IV: if you want proof i'm not the same person

IV: ...

IV: fight me

ET: Bitch what.

IV: you've always wanted to

IV: i never let you

IV: so now i am

ET: Yeah okay.

ET: Time to fuck off Finn.

ET: Go home.

IV: i'm serious

ET: Yeah. So am I.

ET: This conversation never happened.

-- estrapadingTrueblue [ET] ceased pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 21:50 --

IV: no

IV: it doesn't work like that

ET: Maybe not to you. But listen.

ET: This isnt working out.

ET: You need to quit while youre ahead and figure whether any of this is actually fucking worth it. Because Ill tell you. Its not.

ET: Live your life and forget I ever expressed some disagreeable opinion about your choices.

IV: i can't forget and i'm not going to forget you or what you say

IV: because you were always family to me too

ET: Then thats your problem.

ET: Im done with you.

ET: Bye Finn.

IV: even if now it's like an estranged cousin that hates me

-- estrapadingTrueblue [ET] ceased pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 21:55 --

-- estrapadingTrueblue [ET] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

[theangstbrigade]

october 10th, 2657

to colt

from finn

i’m glad we talked the other day

i can’t reiterate how much of an asshole i was in the past even though you probably don’t want me to keep dwelling on it 

i still am

you know me 

i don’t know if i’ll ever stop 

but anyway i like writing you like this because i can just say what i want to say to you and tell you everything that’s happening without keeping you stuck somewhere reading this 

if it were a conversation you would feel more obligated to be available

now you don’t

anyway 

there’s so much i could tell you about but i think i would run out of room somehow

there are so many people hurting colt 

so many people living in such awful conditions to survive and meanwhile we have been living safely our entire lives 

i really want to make a difference here

miss you love you

tell little i said hi

- finn

[theangstbrigade]

july 25th, 2657

for quinne

from finn

i know i can call you or message you or text you but i keep trying to and i think that if i do that i’ll give you an opportunity to tell me to come back but i probably shouldn’t so that’s why i’m handwriting this letter and sending it on some space mail journey how does that work anyway

nobody teaches that anymore

it’s all digital

but i digress

i’m kind of nervous and i don’t know what i’m doing or where to start

there are so many people quinne 

you know how like my parents and a lot of the parents on the uu saw a lot of war and tragedy well

it makes sense why they kept us from it

it’s terrible and heartbreaking and it’s difficult to process but i think i’m still in a place where i can help people 

this was probably the most impulsive decision i’ve ever made

done to counteract colt’s impulsive decision but looking back i haven’t really done anything but do something similar

i need to call him or something because now i realize how much he needed my support and i wasn’t there

but i can’t think about that anymore 

i need to save the batteries to this flashlight in the case that the sun goes out i don’t know 

i love you

-finn

[theangstbrigade]

@quasarsturncoat

[theangstbrigade]

📱 quinne/finn, ananya/shoryu, sage/dorian, finn/emilet, shiloh/dorian, sage/emilet

QUINNE

[Drafts]

hey our names rhy

i love you

i don’t know why i left because i keep wishing i was back on avalon with you

someone died today

i’m at the store do you wan

[Sent]

let’s go somewhere crazy together and do something crazy is that too crazy

SHORYU

okay so…! i was thinking about…! how you were dancing the other day…! and i had some…! suggesti

i think i want you to teach me…! martial arts…! because…! it’s dark and i’m nervous…!

every time i see your name…! i think of a neopet…!

everything just…! really sucks…! right now…! i’m never dancing again…!

want to come to my party…?

[Sent]

want to hang out this weekend…?

CONTENT WARNING: DEPRESSION

DORIAN

[Drafts]

do you ever feel like???? being alive is really hard

i still miss my hair………….

hey i have some stuff i wanna give you that i don’t need anymore!!

dorian i think i’m scaring myself

please know i love you

[Sent]

yo!!!!! i found this awesome painting at this art fair and i bought it because it reminded me of you and sirius!!!!! when can i give it to you????

EMILET

[Drafts]

i know we just broke up and i know we kind of broke up after breaking up but i want to take it back i don’t know what i’m going to do without you

i swear i heard someone say kawaii today and i just thought where’s em 

you were in my dream last night and you were

what was that anime we were watching that one time with the deres

guess what i just signed up to 

[Sent]

long time no see we should catch up sometime

DORIAN

[Drafts]

so i guess i was looking up some stuff and apparently you’re my dad kind of?

i never see ananya

how mukh do i update you on my life? do i at all? 

our relationship is super konfusing isn’t it…

maybe i’m not supposed to be here…

[Sent]

i still feel like we’re klose friends but i kan’t remember hanging out with you before i met you

EMILET

do you remember that time we were naruto running???? or was that just me????? hahahaha!!!!

hey so this is probably pretty weird to bring up but……………remember that time we were in your room and you were really sad………..how did that feel for you???? you know to be that sad??????

are you taking care of yourself mister?????????? i’m gonna kick you in the butt!!!!!!!!!

there’s a box i want to give you of things i think you’ll like!!!!! my room is too messy lol

i miss hanging out with you…..

[Sent]

EMILET WHEN ARE WE GOING TO WATCH ANIME?????????

[theangstbrigade]

Ruleus => Ananya

 [Drafts] 

 CI: COME OVER TO MY H!VE no wa!t !'m go!ng over !GNORE 

CI: !'M SO PROUD O? YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 

CI: Have ! ever sa!d !'m env!ous o? your relat!onsh!p w!th C!tr!n? !t seems so n!ce... 

CI: LET ME CON?ESS THAT !'VE BEEN STRESSED OVER CERTA!N SUBJECTS THAT ! DON'T KNOW HOW TO BREACH BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARUGHAK?JDJ 

CI: How well do you reelate to w!sh!ng to plot the dem!se o? someone who... oh th!s !s s!lly 

 [Sent] CI: COME OVER TO WATCH MOV!ES PLEASE. ! HAVE ?RESH SQU!DCAKES BUT CAN'T EAT ALL O? THEM BY MYSEL? HELP!!!!!!! D8 

Ruleus => Sage 

 [Drafts] 

 CI: ! l!ke your ha!rcut!!!!!!!

 CI: Sage, what do you do when you ?eel... mghgh 

CI: !'M !RR!TATED OH wrong number. R!ght number?? Co!nc!dence/??? ENOUGH 

CI: O? all the ?aces ! m!ss see!ng around.................... 

CI: Sage, !t's late but are you awake/? 

 [Sent] 

 CI: SO ! WATCHED MY L!TTLE HOO?BEAST UPON YOUR RECOMMENDAT!ON AND !? YOU'RE TERR!BLY !NTERESTED, ! WOULD L!KE TO EXPAND ON VAR!OUS-- [writes a MLP au at her basically.]

[theangstbrigade]

Joel => Finn 

 [Drafts] 

 ET: Time to fight you dont even fight stfu me 

ET: Why do you get to be special.

 ET: Sorry dunno why Im like this.

ET: Its not your fault.

 ET: Be careful out there man 

 [Sent] 

 ET: Come see Rammie you douchepopsicle.

 Jack => Finn 

 [Drafts]

 ID: I'm having trouble remembering simple things, doc. 

Feel like I wake up and reality's jumped ahead of me. 

ID: That's normal. I'm normal. I'm N o r m a l. 

ID: Ryan's gone. 

ID: Happy birthday. 

ID: I'm sorry. 

 [Sent] 

 ID: Hey.

[theangstbrigade]

JACK

[Drafts]

i really want to see you and i know things with ryan kind of suck right now

did i do anything

i don’t want you to be alone and i know how you are when you isolate yourself and damn it i don’t want to lose you again

please

why do people leave

[Sent]

hey jack i just wanted you to know that i’m here and i want to see you and see how you’re doing  i miss you 

JOEL

[Drafts]

okay so i know this might not be what i should do but i was just wondering if you feel the same way i do about colt and little but probably not you probably knew anyway i’m not sending this

maybe we should hang out soon  no i can see your response already  hey joel what are you up to i haven’t seen you in like ever i know i get on your nerves a lot but i still consider you one of my really really good friends and i think maybe both of us could have a friend around 

can i visit 

[Sent]

hey joel let me know if you get this 

JOEL

[Drafts]

what is wrong with me...? i figure you would know...!

sometimes you’re the only...! person that will just...! say it like it is..! and i was wondering...! NEVERMIND...!

can you tell rammie to tell sileas

remember that time i punched you in the face...? just reminiscing...! i haven’t seen you around...! it feels like something is missing...! [Sent]

joel...! i need your advice on something...!

RULEUS

is this green thing...? on my wall...? some kind of experiment...? oh wait...! it’s just...! one of those...! sticky lizards...!

have you seen mom...? nevermind...! found her...! 

has sileas been talking about me...? do you still like me...?

i wish it was like when we were younger and we could...! just be younger...! and have less problems...!

[Sent]

i was wondering...! are you able to make...? some kind of serum...? that makes people nice...?

[theangstbrigade]

🌺 Ananya/Sileas

Let’s be real, as much as they’d like to deny it, there was a lot Ananya liked about Sileas. The way he listened. His hugs. The way he’d dance with her when they were younger. She likes how he makes Ruleus so happy. She likes that he’s finally found someone that makes him happy.

[theangstbrigade]

⌘ Ananya/Sileas

i never hated you…! i just wanted…! to be…! your…! friend…! again…!

[theangstbrigade]

📱 Ananya/sileas

[Drafts]

i think that…! you should apologize…!

look…! i didn’t mean…! to fuck up…! our friendship…!

i really…! miss us being…! friends…!

i’m tired of fighting…! all the time…!

i’m sorry for everything…! can we just talk again…? please…?

[Sent]

thanks for…! participating with rammie…! like i’m doing…! so the three of us…! can all be okay…!

[theangstbrigade]

🌺 little/ananya

There’s so much Ananya likes about Little. Her understanding, her forgiveness, her BEAUTIFUL HAIR that she’d love to style… Her perseverance and compassion (even if she doesn’t show it). Little is definitely an inspiration to Ananya in the way she lives her life alone. There have been times when Ananya considers giving up her goals of being a professional dancer, but then she remembers how well Little succeeds, and it gives Ananya the momentum she needs to keep going. 

[theangstbrigade]

gdi ok gimme another 🌺 finn & colt

There’s a lot Finn likes about Colt. His calm nature, his patience, the way his hair gets when he doesn’t cut it. He likes listening to Colt perform poetry or music. He likes that their friendship has lasted nearly two decades. No matter what they go through, no matter how far apart they are, Finn loves that he always has Colt and he never has to doubt that. 

[theangstbrigade]

😃 ANANYA AND SHILOH

ANANYA @ LITTLE

Little’s voice makes her giddy. It’s just so cute and nice to hear. Her laugh is pretty contagious, too. Little’s friendship with her in general just makes her happy. 

[theangstbrigade]

🌺 ananya to little

Ananya’s never met anyone as brave as Little. Or as friendly…for that matter. She likes that even though Little’s a fighter and feisty, she didn’t disown her when she pretended to be somebody else. Little has the most strength and tenacity of everyone she knows. She really likes that their relationship can grow from one of Ananya’s mistakes. 

[theangstbrigade]

🌺 Ananya & Citrin

He’s a fighter. He keeps her going when she doesn’t feel like she can go anymore. Citrin is loyal, he’s dependable, and arguably her oldest friend. She likes his hair and his eyes and his teeth and his awesome dance style…it’s unlike any other.