theamazingchickenman

[theamazingchickenman]

RIP Bob Lampwizard.

[theamazingchickenman]

This is the happiest day of my life.

Twelve years ago I was ready to kill myself.

Then I met her.

Everything changed.

I found purpose, I found hope, I found love.

And now, even if just for a moment, I've never been happier.

[theamazingchickenman]

So hey, just got married

[theamazingchickenman]

Marriage in two weeks to the day. I'm not nervous, YOU'RE nervous.

[theamazingchickenman]

"Marty! You've got to come back with me! Back...to the store, I forgot banana bread."

[theamazingchickenman]

Holy shit a I'm getting married in exactly a month

[theamazingchickenman]

"Be like a Fruit Roll-Up."

[theamazingchickenman]

You and Earthworm Jim should join a fighting tournament.

"I eat worms, he has a gun. Seems like a decent match-up."

[theamazingchickenman]

When I was seven, I accidentally sat on a banana. That changed my life forever...

"How unappeeling!"

[theamazingchickenman]

Hey man! *hands him a slice of cake* My b-day was last week..but I still have plenty of cake!

"Oh crap, my face has been caught in the radiator for six months. Lemme go fix this."

He goes back in time to Creeper's birthday and gifts him a radiator.

[theamazingchickenman]

"It hasn't tried to steal me Lucky Charms, so thats pretty nice!"

"I found a carrot!"

"Amazing, sensational even! Is it a nice one?"

[theamazingchickenman]

Been busy, no time for Chicken Man lately.

Moved to a different department at my contract job.

Earned my Fraud Examiner certification.

Lost 20 pounds.

And I'm getting married in a month.

Won't be especially active for awhile unless the occasional mood strikes me.

Once the dust settles, I'll be drawing a lot more, methinks.

Still love you guys.

[theamazingchickenman]

"No, YOU'RE a pants."

[theamazingchickenman]

GOOD KING SANTA CLAUS WAS HERE

EATING ALL OUR PRESENTS

HAS A CHAINSAW FOR A BEARD

LOOKS LIKE DONALD PLEASANCE!

[theamazingchickenman]

"Dear Santa..."

“How are you? I’m good, thanks. I’m writing to ask if you can maybe bring me a bag to put all my cans in. That way, I can keep the squirrels out. Or a Nerf football. Also, Phoenyx needs some argyle socks.

If you don’t mind, could you give the rest of my gifts to that homeless shelter past the bus stop? They could use them more than me.

If you get this letter, I hope you can take time away from fighting crime in Gotham City to help Jesus battle the moon bison. They get nasty this time of year.

Thanks again for the toaster oven I found in the sewer! Sometimes it works!

Love, Chicken Man

p.s. Please don’t bring me anymore magazine subscriptions”

[theamazingchickenman]

"John Santa: Doome Marine."

[theamazingchickenman]

For real, I'm okay.

Planning for my wedding, studying for a heavy duty certification, and trying to survive the holidays.

Promised myself years ago that I'd keep this blog up until either Tumblr disappears or the Earth gets swallowed by the sun, so I'm not going anywhere.