thealiveshadow

[thealiveshadow]

Radio Romance by Mashrou' Leila (in Arabic)

Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho by Ayushmann Khurrana and Tanishk-Vayu (in Hindi)

i get sad sometimes because i cant find any queer male love songs but it seems like lesbians have so many. do you have any recommendations?

Some of my favs:

Habibi by Joe Daccache (bonus: bilingual lyrics!)

Make It Last by Joe Daccache

C'mon Baby, Cry by Orville Peck

Whine n Cry by Keiynan Lonsdale

Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by Pansy Division

God in Jeans by Ryan Beatty

Pipe Dream by Tobre & RYLO (bonus: Tobre is transmasc!)

Valentino by Olly Alexander & MNEK

Tennessee by Kevin Abstract & Lil Nas X

Boys Will Be Boys by Miles McKenna (bonus: T4T!)

Black Travolta by Doug Locke

Trojans by Doug Locke

Ice Cream by MIKA

also I Wanna Boi by PWR BTTM

[thealiveshadow]

gilbert baker designed his flag with the express purpose of it including every single queer person. baker was so dedicated to making sure his flag was inclusive that he added another stripe in 2017, lavender, to represent diversity. the concept that it’s for white gay men came around later and needs to be changed.

can we please go back to associating the original flag, and ideally the modern rainbow flag, with inherent inclusion of every single queer person? instead of deciding that the original wasn’t good enough? personalized flags are important for representing those who have typically been excluded from the queer community, but reclaiming the original flag as a symbol of inclusion is important too.

[thealiveshadow]

So I was inspired by this post on @manstrans blog to create a flag for the term “shikhandic”. Here it is:

I’ll explain what the flag’s colours symbolize:

Blue: This colour is a nod to the colours of the transgender flag and the transmasculine flag. The name Shikhandi also means peacock feather, and those have tints of blue in them.

Red: The colour red has been associated with courage and rebellion, this is to depict how trans man and mascs have resisted against societal conventions and have fought to have their place.

Green: The meaning of green is also used in rebirth, this depicts a few things in the flag. Princess Amba was reborn as Shikhandi, and Shikhandi was sort of “given back” his life (because he was going to commit suicide) when he was allowed to have the body that he wants. Often when trans men/mascs discover their identity and who they are, they feel reborn as a new person.

Bow and Arrow: Shikhandi was a warrior and since the Mahabharata is set in ancient times, the common weapon at the time was a bow and arrow, so it is a nod to him and the story. This is also in line with my description of why I used red, to symbolize how trans men/mascs have battled for their rights as well.

Redesign and criticisms are welcome! I’m not a graphic designer, so I’m not sure if it looks that great. (If you will redesign it, please do give me credit).

Ironically, the same way trans men are erased, Shikhandi is erased in his own stories too. People either insist he was intersex, non-binary, or even a trans woman (in the traditional Mahabharata he is not). They either misgender him, or try to erase the fact that he was born female, by simply saying he was originally born male. I think that adds significance to the term as well.

[thealiveshadow]

I think referring trans man who one word is pretty nice. I’ve really liked the words achillean and sapphic, especially since they have roots in historical myths. I’m personally Indian, and I thought maybe I could pull a word or rather a name out of my own culture’s stories that could act as a word for trans man as well. I’m not sure if you’ve heard about the Mahabharta. But essentially it is an Indian Epic that revolves around two clans of family, the Pandavas and the Kauravas, who fight in a battle called the Kurukshetra war. Throughout the epic, there are tales of people living and dead, different points on philosophy, and lessons being taught. It’s very long, about 10 times the length of the Iliad and Odyssey combined.

Despite the Pandavas and Kauravas being the sort of main characters of the Epic, there are many other individuals who play and important role in the story. One such character is Shikhandi. This seems to be already getting long, so I will give a brief background of Shikhandi. Essentially he was born in his past life as the princess Amba, who was abducted by Bhishma, but later rejected by him (This story is layered but if you want a summary Wikipedia is always good). Angered with this Amba preformed a difficult fast and at the end Lord Shiva granted her a boon that she would in the next life be born as female but would later become a man and the reason why Bhishma is killed. (And additionally gave him the ability to remember his past live as well)

Simultaneously, King Draupda wanted a child and prayed to Lord Shiva for one. He came and said to the king, that in his house a girl would be born who in due course would become a man. Shikhandi was born as Shikhandini, but of course later changed his name. He was raised as a man, and was taught warfare. When it was his time to get married, his father offered his hand in marriage to the daughter of king Hiranyavarman. Shikhandi’s wife realized that his wasn’t a “real man” (whatever that means). And when Hiranyavarman realized this, he prepared for war with Draupda, even though the latter insisted that his son was a real man. Shikhandi, distressed by his wife’s comments and by bringing shame onto his parents, decides to go commit suicide by fasting to death. He goes in the woods where people were terrified to enter since it was inhabited by a yaksha.

He goes in the forest and starts to take of his royal clothing, where the yaksha meets him. He asks what Shikhandi is doing, and the prince tells his story. The yaksha, feeling compassion over the prince, proposes that two exchange their sex. Shikhandi readily agrees and goes back to his family and tells his father of what had occurred. His father was delighted and said to Hiranyavarman that he could send someone over to check if it was true. Women were sent to Shikhandi who then confirmed that he was a man and his wife came back to him.

This has become extraordinarily long, but on a final note as I conclude the retelling I will say that Shikhandi fought on the side of the Pandavas during the war and played a vital role during it.

Now onto my main point. I know the story is sort of unconventional, maybe just by reading my summary or if you go on Wikipedia you might even find parts of it problematic. In our modern definition, Shikhandi would probably be considered a trans man, and his story is important to me, an Indian trans man, for a few reasons. For example, he given the gift of being trans by God. He isn’t just born a man, he becomes one because of Lord Shiva’s boon. As someone who has been told before (and I’m sure that many trans men have had that experience before) that me being trans is a mental illness, it was a point that touched my heart deeply when I reread the Mahabharta. He is distressed and tries to commit suicide but is saved because he allowed to be who he is in the body that he wants. He is accepted by his fellow peers, He is accepted by his fellow peers, and in fact the reason that Bhisma loses to the Pandavas is because he refuses to see Shikhandi as man and doesn’t fight him.

I really understand where people of colour are coming from when they say that they feel uncomfortable being compared to animals. After all, I have heard Indian men be talked about as“animals that only know how to rape”. In the same way Achilles was a character from a story and hence where word “achillean” comes from, I thought that that it would be nice to take the name of what one might consider in current terminology to be a trans man, and use his name Shikhandi, as a way of conveying those who feel a strong desire to be a man.

I do have a hard time finding the suffix for the name Shikhandi. Because Achilles became achillean and Saphos became sapphic. The most obvious would probably be shikhandian (since the name ends with an I) but people have said they don’t want that. I guess shikhandic could also work or maybe shikhandien. (I personally like shikhandian the best). I think you probably have some way better ideas to better mold this name, so I leave it to you or others who want to try.

Greek mythology is extremely common in the Western world, but rarely have I ever seen anyone talk about Hindu mythology. I guess because Hinduism has been constantly said to be demonic, especially by Western Christians. People think of us backwards and not progressive, and not many even consider the idea that Indian queer people exist. At most, Hijras are used as a gotcha by other queers to conservatives to say that “Yeah see trans people have existed for thousands of years, take that”. Without really considering who Hijra people are, how it connects to culture, and what the issues they face and have faced are.

Thus, I thought I would add my two cents about how we could create a single word for trans men that is also rooted in my culture. I guess people might consider it ridiculous and that it doesn’t make sense, but even if the name Shikhandi doesn’t stick, I thought I would talk about my religion and my Hindu culture as well.

I’m really sorry for how long this got, but thank you so much for reading till the end.

- Dev

sorry it took a few days to get to this, but that's a really cool story!! I loved reading it!!

honestly I was already thinking that the words we have that are rooted in lore are already mostly white, or at least that I know of, so it'd be cool to see more words that aren't centered on us so much!

I'd also love to hear what other indian trans people think too! I love hearing different viewpoints and opinions!

[thealiveshadow]

As a precursor I’d like to say that if you feel my post is talking over you, just tell me and I’ll have no problem deleting it.

As an Indian (from India not Indigenous) trans man, I relate heavily to the experience of having my masculinity stripped, but for different reasons. Indian men are generally viewed as weak, and maybe my submissive in a sense. They are thought to have strange accents, can’t speak in English properly, are not fit and generally weak. One time somebody told me (and they totally believed it) that “Indian men were at the bottom of the sexual food chain, no one likes them”. They fold their hands when White people come into their country and house, and are there to take the profanities of their (White) boss.

But! On the flip side, Indian men are actually also hyper masculine rapists. They can’t hide their lecherous eyes from your innocent daughters, who knows if she’ll be safe with an Indian man? Don’t you know how racist they are? They’ll call you the n-word as soon as they meet you! They’re scammers and cheaters, hide your purse from them so they don’t pickpocket you, and don’t forget how all call scams are actually Indian! Queer Indian Men? Not fucking possible, didn’t you know that Indian men are backwards and not progressive in their thinking at all, they could never be something as cool as being queer!!! In fact I think all Indian men should die because of how dangerous they are, Free the Indian Woman (who are so sexy and beautiful by the way)

The above portion is making fun of of what I’ve heard and seen in my life. I believe Indian men have the experiences of having their masculinity deconstructed were they are generally submissive and weak to outer forces, and then reconstructed to seem like inhuman monster where women are put in danger just by having a Desi man near her. I know this because I have experienced many (if not all of these things listed above) and have seen fellow Desi men experience it too. And because of how much people (of all political aisles let’s by honest) seem to hate Indians, and going even more specifically, Indian men, many simply refuse to acknowledge it.

I thought that the main similarity between your post and mine is that East Asian men are stripped of their masculinity due to forced feminization, Indian (and South Asian) men also experience this uprooting of their identity but in a different form. I also believe that Indian men have to work hard to be seen as masculine in enough, but not so much that they end up being seen as a danger. It ends up being a delicate line to dangle.

I am going to get so much fucking hate for this but as an ethnically East Asian (Chinese, but born in and lives in the US) trans man, I feel like my ethnicity and gender intersect in two different ways that no one either cares about or knows about

Forced feminization

Hyperinvisibility

In detail:

Forced feminization

From anime characters to K-pop idols, so many East Asian men seem to be regarded as feminine either for their dress or mannerisms with absolutely no consideration of how different cultures might display masculinity. Granted, I've been guilty of this too in the past, due to being born and raised in a western country, but I'm trying to be better about it. Like. Asian guys are not your "shy uwu Kpop idols" or "cute gay coded anime characters". Also: the "small Asian dick" jokes. Goddamn.

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain how this goes double for Asian trans men like me who want to present as masculine in a gender conforming way. But since this is Tumblr dot fucking com, I'm gonna have to. I feel like I have to work twice as hard to be seen as masculine as anyone who isn't Asian and/or is a cis guy because of not only the paragraph above but because of the parts I was born with. Seriously I did not spend years escaping femininity just to have randos insist I stay with it from multiple angles.

Hyperinvisibility

This is probably where people are going to come into my notes and inbox with pitchforks telling me shit like "kys" or throwing slurs but you know what. Fuck it.

EDIT: I am now aware that BIPOC stands for "black, indigenous, and people of color", not "black and indigenous people of color", so I have removed my previous statements as they were inaccurate.

That being said, it still stands that I have seen very few people talk about the racism Asian people face, and that we are treated as "white lite" in many spaces.

As for the transmasc angle: transandrophobia does exist. We are being killed. We are being raped. We are being forcibly impregnated and detransitioned. And nobody is giving a fuck. We aren't even acknowledged as trans men, we're labeled in statistics as "women". And when we try to talk about it we're called either "confused little girls" or "(trans)misogynistic MRAs".

TLDR: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THAT HYPERINVISIBILITY IS NOT A PRIVILEGE ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE IT THROUGH BOTH YOUR RACE AND GENDER

[thealiveshadow]

Yes that is true, but like most conspiracy theories, it usually ends with people blaming “a secret group of Jews” or simply a secret group of ( for example the Illuminati) controlling the world. When someone calls another “transandrophobia truther” they’re bringing in antisemitic connotations to the conversation.

kind of seems like the main reason people dislike TME/TMA is because they don’t think transmascs have privilege over transfems (which. we do). kinda funny to hear all these people be like “listen to trans people when they talk about their experiences with oppression” because they mean “listen to transmascs when we say we experience transmisogyny” and not “listen to transfems when they say we don’t understand the level of transmisogyny they face their entire life”

You’re correct that people take issue with the idea transmascs have privilege over transfems, but the main reason people dislike tme/tma in my experience is that it’s an inaccurate binary. People have more complex experiences with transmisogyny than it covers. An intersex person afab who grows facial hair may not be the intended target of transmisogyny but most certainly isn’t exempt either. Nobody is really fully exempt from any system of oppression, so it’s just not accurate. I don’t have a problem with the term tma to describe people who experience abundant transmisogyny, it’s tme I take issue with because yeah, it does talk over other people (not just transmascs, many people including cis perisex and intersex folks) about their real lived experiences with transmisogyny. And it is used for exactly what you’re acknowledging here: to say that everyone “tme” has privilege over everyone “tma.” That’s not how it works. Transmisogyny is awful but so are exorsexism and transandrophobia, from which binary trans women are exactly as exempt as non-transfems are from transmisogyny. Trans people do not have gendered privilege over each other. That is why so many people take issue with tma being used to say that transfems have it the worst of all queer people. Whatever happened to not engaging in oppression olympics? Why are we measuring privilege not based on the reality we see (transmascs having similar negative outcomes to transfems in many areas while having unique issues in other regards) but on trying to apply cis man & woman dynamics to the complex trans community?

[thealiveshadow]

Not disagreeing with the post or anything, but to my knowledge “truther” is associated with antisemitic conspiracy theories. At least that’s what I’ve read and heard many times. Just for future reference.

kind of seems like the main reason people dislike TME/TMA is because they don’t think transmascs have privilege over transfems (which. we do). kinda funny to hear all these people be like “listen to trans people when they talk about their experiences with oppression” because they mean “listen to transmascs when we say we experience transmisogyny” and not “listen to transfems when they say we don’t understand the level of transmisogyny they face their entire life”

You’re correct that people take issue with the idea transmascs have privilege over transfems, but the main reason people dislike tme/tma in my experience is that it’s an inaccurate binary. People have more complex experiences with transmisogyny than it covers. An intersex person afab who grows facial hair may not be the intended target of transmisogyny but most certainly isn’t exempt either. Nobody is really fully exempt from any system of oppression, so it’s just not accurate. I don’t have a problem with the term tma to describe people who experience abundant transmisogyny, it’s tme I take issue with because yeah, it does talk over other people (not just transmascs, many people including cis perisex and intersex folks) about their real lived experiences with transmisogyny. And it is used for exactly what you’re acknowledging here: to say that everyone “tme” has privilege over everyone “tma.” That’s not how it works. Transmisogyny is awful but so are exorsexism and transandrophobia, from which binary trans women are exactly as exempt as non-transfems are from transmisogyny. Trans people do not have gendered privilege over each other. That is why so many people take issue with tma being used to say that transfems have it the worst of all queer people. Whatever happened to not engaging in oppression olympics? Why are we measuring privilege not based on the reality we see (transmascs having similar negative outcomes to transfems in many areas while having unique issues in other regards) but on trying to apply cis man & woman dynamics to the complex trans community?

[thealiveshadow]

Yeah I actually hate this thing of people always saying that misogynistic men are secretly gay, please stop.

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Annemarie Schwarzenbach was a Swiss writer, photographer, journalist and traveller. She dressed androgynously from an early age on and was often mistaken for a young man. One of her friends, Marianne Breslauer described her as “Neither a woman nor a man, but an angel, an archangel.”

Schwarzenbach has written multiple books and has documented the rise of fascism in Europe and her travels to various European countries with her photographs.

[thealiveshadow]

as an autistic jew, passover is objectively the best holiday because it’s a dinner party with a script that everyone has to follow

[thealiveshadow]

Ok so at this point I've had two people roll up to me in manual wheelchairs, well, one of them was somebody pushing somebody who was nonverbal at the time, but it still counts. They asked me why I had zip ties around my tires.

It's winter where I'm living and we have really bad snow. And the snow plow people are really bad at their jobs probably because there aren't snow plow people who clean sidewalks. As a solution I got to thinking about how I could increase the traction on my wheels. And the most redneck thing I could think of was taking a bunch of zip ties and tying them around my wheels. They last surprisingly long, and work surprisingly well. It's basically the same premise as chains for your tires during the winter.

I chose to space them out pretty evenly so there's about one for every spoke. You could probably do more or less depending on how many you want and how much traction you get but I wouldn't go more than three per spoke. I realize that it's a bit later in the winter, and I probably should have made a post about this sooner, but I came up with it about a week ago. So please share this, even if you're not disabled, because there are tons of people I know who are stuck in their houses because they can't get around in the snow. A pack of zip ties costs about $5, which compared to $200 knobby snow tires is a big save, and if you want to invest you could get colored zip ties.

[thealiveshadow]

Unauthorized water

It’s not clear when General Electric started boobytraping appliances with DRM. I first encountered it in January when Shane Morris tweeted about his fridge refusing to accept the $19 generic filter he replaced the GE $55 filter with.

https://twitter.com/IamShaneMorris/status/1220367934947758080

The fridges use an RFID detector to distinguish original GE filters from generic replacements, and engage in lots of anti-owner trickery, like memorizing the IDs of previously used filters and refusing to accept them.

https://bbs.boingboing.net/t/unauthorized-charcoal-ge-fridges-wont-dispense-ice-or-water-unless-your-filter-authenticates-as-an-official-55-component/159552/41

Morris isn’t the only one ourtaged that his fridge is plotting against him. One (anonymous) owner was so offended that they created a site dedicated to warning off potential buyers and explaining to other suckers how to bypass GE’s lockouts.

https://gefiltergate.com/

There’s a good reason for the anonymity. Under Sec 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, showing how to bypass an “access control” to a copyrighted work (eg RFID-detecting code in the fridge) is a potential felony, carrying a 5-year prison sentence and a $500k fine.

This is quite the moral hazard. Manufacturers have learned that if they design their products so that any use that hurts their shareholders (like buying third party parts) requires bypassing DRM, it becomes a felony to use your own property to your own advantage.

Which is why we’ve seen DRM creep into all manner of devices, from insulin pumps to tractors to car engines to Iphone screens. “Felony contempt of business model” is the statute that every monopolist has dreamt of, and with DMCA 1201, they have it in their grasp.

Back in 2011, I wrote a short story about this for MIT Tech Review’s first sf anthology, called “The Brave Little Toaster” (in tribute to Tom Disch).

https://craphound.com/news/2011/09/28/the-brave-little-toaster-from-trsf/

The issue only got worse, and so last year I published “Unauthorized Bread” as part of my collection “Radicalized” (it’s being turned into a TV show by Topic):

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

The metastasis of DRM into every product category shows that when business apologists talk about the sanctity of property, they mean the sanctity of CORPORATE property.

If the manufacturer gets to override your decisions about the things you buy - and felonize any attempt to wrest control back - they property ceases to exist. We become tenants of our devices, not owners.

It’s digital feudalism, in which an elite owns all the property and we get to use it in ways they proscribe. The difference is that today, our aristocracy isn’t even human.

It’s the immortal, remorseless colony organism called the Limited Liability Corporation, to which we are mere inconvenient gut flora.

[thealiveshadow]

The person next to me in the train station is eating dicks and it smells so damn good

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[thealiveshadow]

Purim 🤝 Holi Dahan

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[thealiveshadow]

Watching all of the queer goyim talk about JKR's Holocaust denial, after months of them engaging in Holocaust inversion and Holocaust denial themselves, as well as buddying up to Nazis and echoing the Nazis' antisemitic rhetoric... it's just exhausting.

"Yes, the Holocaust is finally about you! You can erase the Jewishness of the victims and claim the mantle of Ultimate Victim!... except that the reason the Nazis burned those books, first and foremost, is because of Magnus Hirschfeld's Jewishness. Oh, yes, they would have gotten around to persecuting the Institute if he hadn't been Jewish, but they viewed transgenderism and queer identities as Jewish plots to undermine the German race, and that was why the Nazis made an enormous spectacle of burning his research. But congrats about finding a way to erase the Jews from their own genocide and make it all about you. You win the Oppression Olympics. It's really telling that you only care when you can erase Jews or hate Jews."