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My ANXIETY

is NOT PREPARED

for THIS ASSIGNMENT

Okay, we got this. No stress. NO stress. No STRESS. NO STRESS. NOW I’M JUST I’M STRESSING ABOUT STRESS!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH M—

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Can’t believe Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in the 2000s

And in 2015 Emily Brontë released literary clsssic Wuthering Heights

Thank God someone paved the way for them…

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God save death’s merchant

Playboy wet dream

Just another armored heartbreak

God save death’s merchant

Only human

Turned his pain to poison in his chest

He's the first in line at the expo

He's the first in line at the bar

And he's got that mind, always gotta be right

A genius king untold.

They watch him rise, call for a fall

And the world tries its best to defeat him

'Cause his war never ends, but he still stands high

His suit has its own AI

All the people stare now.

God save death’s merchant

Billionaire extreme dream

Just another armored heartbreak

God save death’s merchant

Only human

Turned his pain to fusion in his chest

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

He built tomorrow

but it’s never enough

There's a tower in the city with a lab on top

And an engineer who won’t rest ‘til he’s dead

No peace for the mind that won’t slow down

He's the smartest man around

And the tech's advanced, gotta build it faster

Just to keep the world sound

God save death’s merchant

Red and gold dream

Just another armored heartbreak

God save death’s merchant

Only human

Turned his pain to power in his chest

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Chasing a dream that won’t let go

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

And he built his name out of fire and steel,

No more ghosts, no need to kneel.

He held the world in his iron-clad hands,

But he gave it all for one last stand.

God save the hero

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

God save the hero

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh

God save the hero

Titan’s dust dream

God save Death’s Merchant (he turned his pain)

He turned his pain to ashes in his chest.

No I didn’t just lose the last hour of my life thinking way too hard about this song I’ve had on repeat from Peter’s pov… HERE HAVE SOME STARKER PAIN with a side of my MENTAL ILLNESS

[the-sugar-in-the-whiskey]

Say what you want about legitimacy… That’s NOT the issue. Oklahoma is not an Ally. Never has been. JS. Stay safe.

reminders for today:

if you or someone you know might need it in the next few years, purchase plan b. the shelf life of plan b is 4 years, and we might not be able to access it as easily as we can now in the days ahead.

if you are larger/plus size: go online and purchase ella instead of plan b. plan b is less effective if you aren’t under 160 pounds.

if you can, purchase books that project 2025 is looking to ban.

mass deportations are starting. if you see ice vehicles or agents, yell ice raid and la migra as loud as you can.

if someone asks who you voted for, keep your mouth shut. they’re fishing for traitors.

if anyone, anyone at all asks about your neighbors or their legal status in the us, you know nothing. don’t be the reason that their family is separated.

if anyone asks about your religion or lack thereof, keep it vague. this administration will look for any excuse to persecute you.

your friends are trans or queer? for the next four years they’re not. don’t expose anyone’s status as a trans or queer person to anyone else, even if you think you can trust them.

did someone you know get an abortion? no, they didn’t. they were never pregnant.

in short, don’t be a snitch, and keep to yourself these next four years. we’ll make it through this even if it seems hopeless at times.

this is all i can think of at the moment, but i’ll be adding on to this as the day continues.

we can survive this. we’ve survived before, and we’ll survive again.

[the-sugar-in-the-whiskey]

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They’d do it for sure…😆😆😆

announcing their engagement to one up tom holland

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Bought Said Yes

This is how I situationship.

how my brain picks a new favorite character who sucks

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Me while editing: *adds a sentence*

*finds nearly identical sentence in the next paragraph*

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My Starker drafts are just full of this stuff😭😂

Shinedown Call Me Songfic

💣Chapter 1

🎵Lyric goals for this chapter:

Wrap me in a bolt of lightning

Send me on my way still smiling

Open chapter with: After Strange’s spell, Peter is living in isolation, obsessing over ways to bring Tony back.

Chapter 1 scene 1: Show present day situation.

Chapter 1 scene 2: The Spell to Resurrect Tony

Close chapter with Cliffhanger: What the spell requires.

🎧Lyric match for chapter: “Wrap me in a bolt of lighting”: him being brought back.

“sent me on my way still smiling.”: Tony smiling after he came back is what Peter takes away from the nightmare. That’s what gives him the resolve to keep searching.

💣Chapter 2

🎵Lyric goals for this chapter:

Maybe that's the way I should go,

Open chapter with: Peter in his crappy apartment. He initially dismisses the costs as irrelevant since Tony wouldn’t remember him anyway, thanks to Strange’s spell.

Chapter 2 scene 1: The Cost of Resurrection

Chapter 2 scene 2: Agonizing Over the Decision

Close chapter with Cliffhanger: Peter convinces himself it’s worth it. A world without Tony Stark is no world at all. His sacrifice is never having the most important person in his life again. Heads to do the ritual. He knew just the place.

🎧Lyric match for chapter: “Maybe that's the way I should go,”: He thinks he deserves it because he is a failure and a burden and the "weight" he'd be removing would be himself from Tony's life after he gets back. He’d really be left with nothing. Tony was smart. He’d have to leave it all behind eventually. The apartment. The bots. Possibly even spiderman. He’d have NOTHING.

💣Chapter 3

🎵Lyric goals for this chapter:

Straight into the mouth of the unknown

Open chapter with: Peter arrives at the cabin.

Chapter 3 scene 1: The Casting Moment

Chapter 3 scene 2 The Aftermath

Close chapter with cliffhanger: Peter freezes as the weight of his decision crashes down.

🎧Lyric match for chapter:

“Straight into the mouth of the unknown”: Life without Tony Stark. Permanently.

💣Chapter 4

🎵Lyric goals for this chapter:

I left the spare key on the table

Open chapter up with: Peter Crying.

Chapter 4 scene 1 The Final Goodbye

Close chapter with cliffhanger: Peter leaving the key on the table.

🎧Lyric match for chapter:

“I left the spare key on the table”: leaves the spare key behind for Tony to find symbolic of both closure and hope. He imagines Tony finding it and living a quiet, happy life away from the chaos with the people who love him. Just not him.

💣Chapter 5

🎵Lyric goals for this chapter:

Never really thought I'd be able

to say I merely visit on the weekends

Open chapter up with:

Chapter 5 Scene 1: Peter’s bittersweet moments of connection to Tony’s legacy (through the bots) and his struggle to fully let go and his refusal to sever all ties despite knowing he should.

Close chapter with cliffhanger:

🎧Lyric match for chapter:

“Never really thought I'd be able to say I merely visit on the weekends”: Peter tells the bots he’ll try and sneak in on the weekends to say hi or something. Laughs a horrible laugh. That’s all he used to have with Tony. Lab time on the weekends. And now that’s all he might get with the bots. He couldn’t give that up. Not yet.

Reflects Peter's deep longing for a past life he can only partially hold onto.

💣Chapter 6

🎵Lyric goals for this chapter:

I lost my whole life and a dear friend

Open chapter up with:

Chapter 6 Scene 1: Tony comes back. His life is gone. Peter doesn’t exist. Everything is …

Close chapter with cliffhanger: Starts lowkey looking for Peter and highkey panicking.

🎧Lyric match for chapter:

“I lost my whole life and a dear friend”: PETEEERRRR NOOOOOOO…

AND WE CONTINUE TO SPIRAL THROUGH LYRICS…

I've said it so many times

I would change my ways

(Peter trying to stay away from Tony. He watches Tony from afar. He looks happy. Everyone is so happy he’s back.)

No, nevermind

God knows I've tried

(Breaks into his apartment to see the bots. Tony shows up. Peter uses his stealth mode and watches as Tony goes through the apartment looking at all the pictures, the giant gaudy painting of Tony Pepper gave him as a joke, and his lab. He sees the bots. Cries. Swears he catches the lingering scent of him in the lab—but dismisses it as missing him or grief-induced hallucinations. No one had been here. Tony plugs Friday in and goes to Peter’s bedroom. Steals a hoodie and smells it. Cries until he falls asleep in Peter’s bed. Peter goes and tries to stop Friday. Does not succeed and Friday alerts Tony that she has successfully broken into Peter’s system. Luckily there’s nothing about the ritual in the apartment. A sleepy red eyed tony shuffles in. Starts going through footage. Tony starts drinking. Continues this until he passes out in Peters lab. Peter steps in in his stealth suit and fucks with the cameras then helps Tony without being caught and carries him to his bed. Steals cuddles and holds Tony. Tony has a nightmare. Wake up screaming, still drunk off his ass. Peter talks to him and comforts him. Tony breaks down. Peter leaves before he wakes up. Can’t do anything about friday. That would be an even bigger red flag.)

Chorus

Call me a sinner, call me a saint

(Peter is alive. Tony notices inconsistencies—glimpses of Peter’s handwriting, Gaps in his systems, failure codes with Friday, but dismisses them as missing him or grief-induced hallucinations. He tries to put the pieces together—fragments of evidence that someone has been protecting him, anonymously fixing his tech but leaving no trace. Finding more hints of Peter’s existence. Knowing he should be devoting his time to Pepper and Morgan but he can’t. He’s obsessed. Coming to terms with his feelings.)

Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same

(Tony and Pepper at war. Tony brought the bots home. It was a tie to peter. Pepper knew the whole time. She thought Peter was Tony’s long lost hidden child. If not, an affair?)

Call me your favorite,

call me the worst

(Peter intervenes and saves Tony. They kiss. Tony’s anger and heartbreak clash as he confronts Peter. He accuses him of being selfish for staying hidden, for making decisions on his behalf. )

Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt

(Peter begging Tony to stop looking for him. Peter, emotionally broken, confesses he thought it was the only way to save him and that he was willing to give everything for Tony’s life.)

It's all that I can say.

So, I'll be on my way

(Shmex. Feels like a goodbye. Then Peter leaves again before Tony wakes up.)

I finally put it all together, But nothing really lasts forever

(Tony goes to the Cabin to get away from it all, sees the key, watches footage of the spell, and figures out Peter’s sacrifice.)

I had to make a choice that was not mine,

I had to say goodbye for the last time

(Peter watching Tony break down watching footage on repeat, drinking, and destroying the lab. )

I kept my whole life in suitcase,

Never really stayed in one place

Maybe that's the way it should be,

You know I've led my life like a gypsy

(Peter running. Keeping tabs on Tony’s recovery but never reveals himself, fearing the failing of the spell. )

I've said it so many times

I would change my ways

(Tony this time)

No, nevermind

God knows I've tried

I NEED THIS OUT OF MY HEAD YESTERDAY😭

To continue ignoring or RIP my current wip 🪦

[the-sugar-in-the-whiskey]

Writing high fantasy is harder for me than it used to be because I'll write "The door swung open" and I'll imagine some tumblr user with three different grad degrees in medieval history dunking on me with a 2,000-word post about how door hinges weren't invented until 1956 and before that they'd just smash them open with axes and rebuild them each time.

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I mean… Iron Revoldicktion. WHO CAN SAY NO TO THAT?!

“I Am Iron Dick” 🤷🏼‍♀️

How come Tony Stark gets to fight villains naked all the time in the comics but not in the movies? I am being denied my rights!

[the-sugar-in-the-whiskey]

OHMYGOD Soulmates finding your lost shit…

I just read:

Exactly What You're Looking For by snarkymuch &

Finding the Lost by TheStrange_One

If you lose something your soulmate finds it next to them when they wake up.

CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE SHIT TONY & PETER WOULD LOSE. Can you?!

CAN YOU?

And the amount of angst this would have as Tony finds out the age-gap…🥵

How long they would know without acknowledging.

The DENIAL

All the ways this could play out… OHMYGOD

Tony finding something of uncle Ben’s that he just couldn’t NOT give back. So he has to give it to him.

Peter waking up with a set of rings… HEY MR. STARK, thought you might need these back. Oh hey and by the way… I’m your soulmate. So yeeeeaaaah, hope THAT works out for ya! Congrats and all😅🤦🏼‍♀️😂 Then just like DISAPPEARS and Tony has another crisis.

PEPPER finds something of Peter’s in their bed…

[the-sugar-in-the-whiskey]

I'M WHEEZING