the-storyoflove

[the-storyoflove]

May I will never forget the things you do for me. The love you give with all your heart. The quality time that we spent together.

[the-storyoflove]

I fell in love with a person who makes me want to be a better person. I fell in love with a person who's willing to make sacrifices for me even if it compromises his sleep, time and work. I love you, beibei.

[the-storyoflove]

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward you are always in the same place.”

— Unknown (via thoughtkick)

[the-storyoflove]

Dear diary it's been so long since i wrote something here. Here to vent all my emotions out (hopefully).

I have been unable to sleep well for the past two nights, partly due to the super humid weather at night and also (mostly) becos of my boyfriend. Had to shed tears to vent my own emotions out without venting to him. Really need to start training on my emotion wellbeing. Can't be always venting towards him. Gonna start penning down my thoughts here. Is it wrong to even show him some love dovey stuff on love delivery? I don't expect him to do the same lah but i know i may have misled him into thinking that I'm comparing. It's reasonable for him to think that way. I just need to feel OPEN MINDED MORE. I just need to know how to handle my emotions better. But seriously, this year he's been more unsatisfied with me and impatient. I know the root cause is always me but WHY CAN'T HE BE THE MORE 风度 KIND SINCE HE CLEARLY KNOWS I CAN'T BE THE OPEN KIND??! hais. Tbh sometimes i also dk if I truly love him deeply. My heart is telling me no lah i guess i do love him but not as deeply. If i find a better guy next time who loves me equally like how he loves me, who knows i might go to the person? Silly and bad thoughts like this keeps me awake. I really need to sleep. I don't even know what's the problem with us anymore. Is it my love Languages these days not fulfilled that's why i not happy? Or he had to do was to always be angry at me? Sometimes i really doubt he loves me even though he says so. My mind is in a blank now. I don't know what to think anymore. Please just let me sleep peacefully 🙏

[the-storyoflove]

I'm broken.

Dear Diary,

I feel so broken and tore apart. I don't know how to fix myself. I just want to shut everyone off. Nothing seems to go my way. I want a getaway so badly. Take away from this island. Anywhere but here. Please.

[the-storyoflove]

For the better

Yesterday, we managed to sort out our wrongdoings and all. Hope things can get better for the both of us. There are many things I wish I could have not said and things I wish I had been more understanding and not lose control. Hope we can continue to change for the better and stay strong for each other. Typing this while I’m in office. Hwaitingggg!!~

[the-storyoflove]

Things I want in the next 5 years

- a stable job that i love

- enough money to live comfortably and travel

- a fulfulling relationship

[the-storyoflove]

Change for the better

No more major insults!! And being rude.

[the-storyoflove]

JACK KEROUAC

The Dharma Bums (1958);

original photo and edit

[the-storyoflove]

In your friendships/relationships, I think it’s important to ask the other person how they like to be comforted. Much like the love languages, everyone responds differently to certain actions during times of stress. Some may like advice or words of affirmation while others may need a hug or someone to just nod and listen. Asking them how they want to be comforted shows that you care about them and want them to feel acknowledged when they’re upset.

[the-storyoflove]

I'm sorry for the words that I've said. For the thoughts that I had.

[the-storyoflove]

Special dates w you

6/1 - the first time you confessed to me in text 28/1 - the first time you asked me to be your girlfriend in person and I vaguely gave a reply 1/2 - our very first kiss with each other 6/2 - the day you officially asked me to be yours again hehe and I gave a firm yesss

[the-storyoflove]

Guess my nightmare didn’t happen afterall :’)

Goodbye.

Dear diary,

Today might be the day when I will leave the relationship. Where I will grieve for a while and move on from here. As much it hurts, I want to thank you for the love you attempted to give but I guess I wasn't good enough to receive it. I needed a man.

A man that would allow me to vent my emotions despite my wrongdoings and standby me even if he's broken by me. At this rate, it's not going to be healthy for us.

I hope we will be happy again, be it together or individually from now on. Thank you for trying to understand my weirdness and loving me for it. I hope you will learn to understand your next woman and learn to understand her emotions, calm her down first, before you use your logic on her. I hope I will learn to love someone better, understand where my man is coming from and communicate better with him.

Thank you for the past memories. Goodbye, A.

Thank u, next. x

[the-storyoflove]

THIS. I NEEDED THIS.

Anger and Disappointment

I learned that when someone do something that disappoint us. It is the action that we hate, not the person.

Don’t let his/her action that doesn’t meet our values makes us hate them as a whole.

They deserve to learn. they deserve to correct their mistakes. They deserve another chance.

Sometimes one chance isn’t enough. What matter is, are we generous enough to give them multiple chances?

Especially when they said sorry and willing to be a better person. Do we have faith in them?

We all know being a better person need process. And sometime it is not easy. It will not be a quick process.

It’s alright to be angry and disappointed. Just don’t let your anger hurt the other person.

[the-storyoflove]

I honestly don’t know what I am doing with my life and it feels like I am going to give up sooner rather than later… Because I just failed at being a functional adult person and can’t deal with this all by myself for as long as I have.

[the-storyoflove]

Healthy or unhealthy?

Dear diary,

Yes, we fucking argued again. I personally don’t feel that I am being defensive on my end while he is. He kept arguing back every single point and seeing how I want us to work out but I feel like he clearly doesn’t. Asking us to put ourselves into each other’s shoes but he doesn’t. Kept saying I told him to shut the fuck up whenever I’m texting when I don’t even remember myself saying that. Getting mentally exhausted for this shyt that I had to put up with. I apologised and said my piece but he clearly still kept insisting his points and arguing back when I just wanted both of us to be more considerate of each other. Kena shoot back when he said being considerate doesn’t mean putting him down when I said we don’t know each other well enough like WTF. we barely knew each other for a couple of months and went out several times don’t mean you KNOW the fk of me well. lol.  I clearly have a good intention to bring my point across so that such things that we felt hurt can be avoided again but no. Still kept insisting it. Not apologising for what he did but only admitting he’s at fault too. Haizzz. Alright. Just needed to vent it out here. I don’t know how else we can move on from here now that we have stopped our argument. And he’s not taking the initiative to approach me to end things amicably and saying I kept digging it out and making it a problem.

Don’t tell me I have to take the bloody initiative to talk to him again as if nothing happened lol. If he really is a MAN, the least he can do is take the initiative to talk to me and try to fix things with me... how petty and grieved he must have felt lol. As if I don’t feel the same way. Perhaps I don’t really love him that much afterall. All I feel is hurt and upset and DISAPPOINTMENT.

Till then </3.

[the-storyoflove]

Sometimes you need to scorch everything to the ground, and start over. After the burning the soil is richer, and new things can grow. People are like that, too. They start over. They find a way.

Celeste Ng, Little Fires Everywhere (via anditslove)