the-soggy-pie

[the-soggy-pie]

Happy Eclipse day

[the-soggy-pie]

Confuse, don’t abuse

April Fools / April 1st is coming up, so I would just like to remind everyone of a few key words when it comes to jokes and pranks: Confuse, don’t abuse.

Skip: 

- Jumpscares - Screamers - Confessing your love to someone/asking them out on a date as an April Fools joke. - Pretending to be seriously hurt/injured/sick/dying. (Seriously, what kind of asshole are you if you do these?)

Honestly, just use common sense. Confuse, don’t abuse. 

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Good and/or wholesome prank ideas: 

- Buy/get your friend’s favorite candy and hide them one by one all over their room in different places. (Just make sure they can’t be reached by any pets and/or too small children!) Where did all those candies come from? You have no idea! ;) xD 

- Dad Jokes and Puns.  - Rickrolling.  - Fun Memes.  - Rearrange the kitchen drawers. Forks on the left side instead of right? Bet they didn’t expect that! 

- Do a classic and bake some cookies, but switch the sugar to salt. ;)  - Move all of someone’s furniture about 1cm to either left or right. Doesn’t look like a lot, but I promise, they’ll feel the difference in their bones, even if they can’t tell what’s different. xD 

- Do NOTHING except for smirking/evilly smile at them. They will suspect you did something. They will wonder for the rest of the day what you did. ;) 

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(Should be obvious, but adapt the pranks to your family and friends. For an example if your friend/family member is blind, perhaps you shouldn’t move around the furniture. That’s just being an asshole.) 

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Now, run wild my friends! April Fools is almost upon us, and it’s time to prepare! Feel free to add your own ideas of good and/or wholesome pranks down below as well. ♥ Just remember the key words: 

Confuse, don’t abuse! 

[the-soggy-pie]

part two

(part one)

I needed revenge. 

Dad always played tricks on us. And he could dish it, but he couldn’t take it. I decided I was going to get him good. 

I had recently been given The Talk (birds, bees, yadda yadda yadda). And so I knew about menstrual cycles.

I formulated a plan. 

I sat on my idea for five years. I needed to be at an age when starting my period would be believable, but I also needed to enact my vengeance before my period actually started. I was thirteen when I set my plan into motion. 

My mom was in on it. She had errands to run, and the Target she was going to had extremely bad cell reception. Meaning that she would have a plausible excuse to ignore any phone calls she might receive. 

My siblings were all in bed (my sister had been born by this point). Dad was downstairs watching TV. I went into the bathroom and locked the door.

Our house was extremely tiny, meaning that everything could be heard from any part of the house. So when I took a deep breath and started yelling for my dad in the most panicked voice I could manage, it only took seconds for him to come running up the stairs like his feet were on fire. 

Dad: What is it? Are you okay?

And in what is, to date, the most impressive acting performance I’ve ever given, I said in a scared, shaky, teary-sounding voice, “I…um…I think I started my…period.” 

He started freaking out. “Don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay! I’m gonna call your mom, alright? Don’t worry!” I hear him run to grab his phone and start calling her. Of course, none of his 28 calls went through, because she had agreed not to pick up. 

For the first ten minutes, I relished in his panic. This was going exactly as I planned! Take that, Dad!

But…then I started to feel guilty. Because even though he was freaking out, he was being so sweet. Asking me if I needed anything, telling me it was going to be okay, offering to slide the iPad or a book or something under the door for me while I waited, wondering if I was thirsty or wanted a snack…

I realized what a horrible daughter I was and started crying for reals, and just told him I was okay and I’d just wait for Mom to get home. Because what was I supposed to do now? I’d painted myself into a corner! 

He called her sixteen more times before she finally got home. I heard him run to the door and explain the situation. She knocked on the bathroom door and I unlocked it. 

As soon as she came in, she started grinning like a madwoman and trying not to laugh, because dang, we got him good! Then she saw that I was crying, and I told her why I was feeling guilty. She assured me that he deserved it (which he did, for the record, I could tell so many stories about the pranks he’s pulled on all of us), but I still couldn’t stop crying. 

Finally, I calmed down enough to leave the bathroom, even though I was still teary. I went down to the basement. He turned and saw my mom and me standing there, me looking like an absolute mess. 

And I said, “April Fool’s.” 

(It wasn’t April.)

Then I started full-on sobbing again, my mom explained that I’d been planning this prank for five years, I apologized over and over and told him this was for the Disney incident. My dad thought it was hilarious that I’d tricked him so well only to feel so terrible about it. 

So, yeah! That’s the story. And years down the road, when I actually had my first period, he bought me tons of chocolate/peanut butter ice cream to eat while we watched Once Upon a Time...and even later, when I bled through my pants at a friend’s birthday party, he dropped everything to bring me a change of clothes and sneak it into the Olive Garden. 

[the-soggy-pie]

part one

When I was about eight years old, my parents called my brothers and I into their room and informed us that we would no longer be visiting our family friends in Missouri that summer. We’d really been looking forward to the trip, so we were disappointed. 

Then Dad says, “We had to cancel the trip because instead…we’re going to Disney!!!” 

Cue three small children screaming and jumping around excitedly. 

I start going off making plans about all the rides we need to go on, since my youngest brother was a newborn when we went the first time and obviously didn’t remember anything. (Make-a-Wish took our family to Disney when I was six and my other brother was four.) And how much he was going to love it and this was so exciting!

After a few minutes, my dad was like, “Go look at the calendar.” 

So I ran out of the room and looked at the calendar. He calls after me, “What day is it?” 

Me: Uh…Sunday?

Dad: What date?

Me: The first?

Dad: The first of what?

Me: April?

Dad: So, what day is it?

Me: It’s not their anniversary…

Dad: Look at the writing!

So I do. And sure enough, in tiny gray letters: April Fool’s Day. 

I start screaming, we’re all bawling, my dad is laughing and my mom is like “I told you that was too mean!” Dad, the master prankster, at it again. All in all, it’s a great story to tell at gatherings.

But it didn’t end there…

part two

[the-soggy-pie]

A David-Ruffling-His-Hair collection (Part Seven)

Links to: [ One ] [ Two ] [ Three ] [ Four ] [ Five ] [ Six ] Staged 2 Ruffles: [ One ] and [ Two ] [ Campbell ruffles ]  [ Talking Shakespeare ] [ link to Tenth Doctor Before/After Ruffles post ]

[the-soggy-pie]

[at the supernatural zoom convention] so in judith butler's seminal 1990 essay imitation and gender insubordination, she proposes that heterosexuality is always in the act of elaborating itself -- no misha collins i know. i know you went to uchicago. this one's for jensen actually. so let's say, hypothetically, that all gendering is a form of dra

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Resident Evil Village Lady Dumitrescu Cosplay by MilliganVick

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I made a quiz. Which flavour of Tumblr Classics are you? 

8 years of #tagamemnon went into this. It’s more coherent than my dissertation ever was

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The Girl in the Fireplace // The Witchfinders

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ohmy god

four of them

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u can say pspspspss to get my attention bro its ok we're mutuals

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Interview With A Bison

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I laughed so fucking hard at this