the-skull-is-a-friend

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

im quitting tumblr

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

Me: It is Perfectly Normal to struggle while doing visual tasks in the dark, and fumbling while plugging in my phone is a neutral act. It has been over a decade, can you please just-

The Thing Inside My Brain:

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

sstypid ffucknf varity straw pack uneevrn colur dispritution 👎👎👎

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

those coconut crabs shot amelia earhart’s plane down because they were misogynists.

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

They call it simple syrup but its very complex to me

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

I've learned the hard way that you need to make sure everybody present is familiar with this tweet before attempting to quote it or else everyone is going to recreate that photo of those college students holding solo cups staring at you with disgust

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

i didn’t want to film a random guy and his kid without their consent so please enjoy this stock image reproduction of what i just witnessed while waiting at a stop light:

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

Just fucking chilling

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

compilation of this type of post

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

how do i describe what it's like to be a 12 year old girl whose life is controlled by shoujo manga that start off cute but then descend into cult mayhem (and all the characters are also 12)

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

Ur too busy ssucking on weenie instead of eating your zucchini!

british version of post

you preoccupy yourself fellating gents rather than consuming courgettes!

[the-skull-is-a-friend]

Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???