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fuuuck um maybe

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I dont really want to do that

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if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters

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some girl behind me in line at the dollar store today said "girl we've been knowing how to draw. Beatboxing puppy" and it froze me in my tracks i had to stare forward without moving a muscle. The devil's cold breath caressed my neck and i've been marked for death

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happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.

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everything about this little dude screams magician. they call him the wandering violin and look at his slender body. and his latin name is a fucking spell you cant convince me otherwise

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me: *starts cutting up strawberries*

fruit fly that literally didn't exist a second ago:

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dj piss kink wants everyone to grab another drink before the next set :)

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[company logos finish displaying, fade in from black with a taiko hit]

Please adjust the Kinsey Scale until the character on the left is just barely fuckable.

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Is it because of the sticky goo?

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reblog to give a plushie to the person you reblogged this from

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You’d have to be some kinda cum dump to reblog this.

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egg.......!!! redrew my icon again!! :D

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He didn’t post it on Tumblr, at least not yet, but some good news as we get an update from @suppermariobroth

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You're 22 your life is just be-ENDING! Because its OVER! You're FUCKED!!!!

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Genuinely one of the funniest set of dialogue options in this entire game tbh

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petplay in the pokemon universe must go crazy