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[the-satanalia]

On The Importance of Hobbies

Recently my partner was offered a full-time, permanent teaching position at a High School, which of course she excitedly accepted. After a few years of short 6 or 12 month contract work at various high schools it was an exciting step up to a permanent position, and a good move for her career. The downside of this is that we would have to move 6 hours out of the city to a regional town with very high unemployment and few opportunities for someone in my field  of marketing/advertising/public relations. So that is the story of how I came to be unemployed these last few months (Although thanks to an absolutely divine application of the principles of lesser magic I may have landed a lucrative position with the local newspaper and will hear back from them on Monday).

The battle to stay productive when your life has becalmed is one which many of us will have to fight at some point in our lives, either through a period of unemployment, or through an injury or incident that leaves you unable to work for any period of time. The temptation is there to waste the days away with distractions like video games, or Netflix or endlessly scrolling through social media and it is a strong tempation to overcome. It is such a powerful force purely because it is the easy way out. It requires zero effort on your part and can be quite enjoyable to do, until you realise that you have wasted an entire day on the couch achieving nothing. 

This is where the importance of hobbies comes in. A good hobby like woodworking, whittling, gardening, writing, painting etc. provides an enjoyable way to channel your energies into something productive, rather than something wasteful. While you may enjoy spending the whole day shooting people on the PS4, you end the day without having actually achieved something tangible, and often miss good opportunities. Compare this to a day spent in the garden tending to vegetables and herbs which you will use to feed your loved ones, or a day spent in the shed nailing together a new shelf - enjoyable, productive tasks that create a meaningful and tangible impact on your world. Some people enjoy nature walks or hiking - which is an incredibly good hobby to pick up as it allows you to take in the beauty of the natural world while maintaining your health and vanity through exercise.

Recently I have taken up candlemaking, as my partner loves candles just about as much as a person can love something. So while I continue to find a place to earn my bread, I can spend my days crafting tealights and candles in the back shed, thanks in part to readily available (and very cheap) equipment and supplies available on sites such as eBay. And when my partner comes home, she is greeted by beautiful scents, handcrafted candles (even if they are sometimes still a bit wonky due to inexperience) and something tangible to hold and enjoy. Each wax figure is an expression of love and gratitude and very much appreciated - which leaves us both feeling happier and ultimately lets our own flame burn brighter. One can get similar satisfaction from any hobby - because they are by their nature enjoyable and productive. Perhaps one day when my candles are not so wonky I will take them to the local markets and sell them, earning money for my productivity and allowing me to purchase more supplies. Such is the power of a good hobby.

And every so often you can still treat yourself to a day on the couch - because videogames, movies and books provide an important portal to escape to a total environment of our choice, a sort of virtual decompression chamber. And with recent advances in technology, and the desire of  studios to tell captivating stories it has never been a better time to be a gamer or a movie fan, though it must always be tempered with productive work to ensure you are still leaving your mark on the world.

[the-satanalia]

The Historical and Pagan origins of Christmas

Many Christians today believe that Christmas is an entirely Christian creation designed to commemorate the birth of their saviour Christ. The focus of this article is NOT to attack the concept of Christianity, or attempt to take anything away from using the day to commemorate and thank their saviour - rather it is my attempt to educate and present to you the historical and PAGAN origins of many of the traditions and concepts we celebrate each year on Christmas.  Vatican historians believe that Jesus was probably born sometime around June, or September, or March, or April - we don't actually know as it's never mentioned anywhere in the historical record though what we do know is that it is probably not December (if he existed at all) . The December Birth on AD 1, beginning The Christian Era, is based on a miscalculation introduced ca. 533 by Dionysius Exiguus.  So if Jesus was not born on the 25th of December - why the hell do we run ourselves around each year to commemorate it on this date? It all begins - as does many of our customs, with the ancient Romans. The Roman god Saturn - a god of agriculture and harvest - required the sun to return at the end of winter in order for the food to be planted and harvested. To ensure this the Romans began a weeklong festival known as Saturnalia! The Saturnalia, beginning on December 17 and concluding on December 25th was a time for Romans to celebrate the golden age of humanity, to share love for fellow man and it was a time of complete social egalitarianism. It was written into Roman law that the courts would be closed during the festival. No one could be held liable for property or personal damages. It was a time of festivities and a carnival atmosphere took over the city.  In private homes Romans celebrated by banqueting and giving gifts to one another and in all sections of society social norms were overturned. Gambling was permitted, alcoholism was rife and it wasn't uncommon for the wealthier, slave owning Romans to reverse roles with their slaves! The slaves sitting at the banquet table while the Romans weighted on them hand and foot!  Each year a man was chosen to represent the "Lord of Misrule". He would be fed and filled with drink, loved and celebrated! The week would be his finest! And well... his last. At the end of the festival he was publicly sacrificed to ensure the victory of justice and the light over the darkness and unrule of the winter and the Saturnalia itself.  It wasn't uncommon for masses to go house to house singing religious songs [while naked nonetheless!]  In fact, if a time travelling Roman found their way to a kitchen table these days he would likely feel right at home celebrating the way we do today - if not a little confused as to the name change.  The conversion of Emperor Constantine to Christianity in AD 312 ended Roman persecution of Christians and began imperial patronage of the Christian churches. However Roman Paganism didn't end with this and Saturnalia was continued to be celebrated for many centuries afterwards. The earliest known reference to it commemorating the birth of Christ on December 25th is in the Roman Philocalian calendar of AD 354, and this itself was to combat yet ANOTHER festival which contended this date - the festival of dies natalis solis invicti, or the ‘birthday of the unconquered sun’.  By this point in Roman history, any attempts to outlaw either the Saturnalia or the Sun festival would have been met with bloodshed and revolution - however the early Church couldn't have the masses celebrating a pagan god! To remedy this, the Church informed the masses that it was still possible to worship Saturnalia as a Christian. The birth of Jesus was placed on the concluding day of Saturnalia! As it was, droves of Roman citizenry were convinced to make the conversion.  However not all of our Christmas customs arrive from the Romans.  A early and incredibly widespread Pagan practice, first introduced by the Asherah Cult of Canaan, involved the cutting down of trees from forests before the re-erection and decoration of the trees inside the home. This was an early fertility festival designed to worship and revere the early Judaic mother goddess [hands up if you knew the Jews once had as many gods as the Romans or Greeks?]  Hanging mistletoe comes from an amalgamation of Roman and Druidic customs. The druids have long used mistletoe in sacrificial rites - often hanging branches above their victims. With the Roman invasion of Britain, and the subsequent travel of Druidic customs back to Rome the two religions were synthesized - the mistletoe which the druids revered as a holy plant and the sexual licentiousness of Saturnalia combined to become a new custom - kissing [or more] under a branch of divine mistletoe in what some scholars believe may have began as a fertility rite.  And of course - no article on the origins of Christmas rites would be complete without mention of the Germanic festival of Yule! Burning Yule logs, singing Yule songs, hanging wreaths on the door [in order to let weary travelers through the dark winter nights know that there was safe haven, food and a bed available at the house] and even the concept of eating a Christmas Ham all come from Yule celebrations.  So, there it is - the historical origins of the Christmas traditions. Like many festivals around the world, of all religions, it is an amalgamation and reconstruction of earlier festivals. But at the end of the day, apart from educating and remembering the actions of our ancestors, does it really take anything away from the holiday? Of course not. It is, through thousands of years of religious evolution the festival we know today - and a time to love and be thankful.  Merry Christmas/Yule/Saturnalia! 

[the-satanalia]

Elves Delay Road Project in Iceland

A road in Iceland has been blocked from continuing construction along it's planned route for fear it would interfere with Elves! Elves have been an important part of Icelandic mythology for thousands of years, and an estimated 62% of the population believes in the existence of elves and fairies. A similar amount in western Ireland share similar beliefs. One local man has said - "I got married in a church built for an invisible god in the sky - so it isn't too much of a stretch to believe in little invisible people in the ground."  This isn't the first time a construction project has been halted by the wee-folk either, in 2004 Alcoa - an aluminium firm - was forced to consult archaeologists and clairvoyants to ensure their sites were free of artifacts, both human or elf.  Regularly building projects are delayed or relocated in order to avoid building over elf habitats - lest they become cursed by the disgruntled little people. Several mines throughout Iceland have reported certain sites where drills cannot break the earth - instead malfunctioning or damaging the machinery and so a clairvoyant is sought to communicate with the elves to either ask a better place to mine or find what price will be sought for the elves to relocate. And in one case two bulldozers malfunctoined one after the other while attempting to bulldoze a fairy hill in order to build a road. After consulting a psychic, and after several television cameras failed while attempting to film the hill the company agreed to build the road around the hill.  It is not uncommon to see small houses in residents front yards - a place for the elves to call home while still sharing land with humans and there are even tiny Churches dotting the countryside - local churchgoers attempting to convert the elves to Christianity.  Regardless of their existence, elves have and will continue to have dramatic power over the lives of those in Iceland. 

[the-satanalia]

Malleus Maleficarum: The Hammer of the Witches

The Malleus Maleficarum [literally translating as: Hammer of Witches], written in 1486 by Heinrich Kramer and Jacob Sprenger is a treatise on how an Inquisitor might discover, learn the characteristics of and tactics for the interrogation of witches. It deals also with the many ways to PUNISH those accused of witchcraft - being the go to guide on torture and death for much of the Inquisition. 

ABOVE:  The title page of the infamous Maleus Maleficarum

The Malleus was condemned by the Vatican 3 years after its release, though it has never appeared on the official list of banned books, and the Spanish Inquisition warned it's Inquisitors against taking the entirety of it's contents as truth - though both entities drew heavily from, and continued supporting it at a local, if not official level. 

One of Kramers main points, and the entirety of the content of the first part  of the book details the reality and Biblical truth behind the existence of witches and sorcerers. It was put forth that anyone who didn't believe in witches was a heretic - making the pope and many Vatican officials heretics in the eyes of the Malleus. To the common, uneducated man of the day however, the Malleus represented what to them was a very real, very common threat - that of an evil witch or sorceress wilting crops, destroying cattle and spreading disease and death. 

How many of those accused were actually guilty of practising Witchcraft, or even some form of local folk religion or pre-Christian tradition is up for debate as much of the evidence the Inquisitors point to is dubious at best. Mental illnesses such as schizophrenia would have certainly resulted in a guilty verdict, as would people born with deformities, unusual features or even their living conditions were all factors the Malleus instructs Inquisitors to look for.  BELOW: Illustration taken from the Malleus Maleficarum in which the Devil and Witches trample a cross

If you were unlucky enough to fall into either of these categories then the Malleus would then refer to Canonical Law to grant Inquisitors full spiritual permission to do what needed to be done. The correct methods to set up a witch-trial were outlined, as were various methods of torture one could use to extract a confession. If a woman did not cry during her trial, she was found automatically guilty of witchcraft. 

The text itself is incredibly patriarchal and misogynistic It accuses women of being more susceptible to demonic influence and have greater desire to practice witchcraft simple due to the "manifold weakness of their gender" and going on to accuse them of being weaker in faith and stronger in carnal desires then men. Interestingly, the majority of women accused and executed were noted to overstep the boundaries of what was acceptable "womanly behaviour". Some of the more outlandish claims made by the Malleus was that witches of both genders were guilty of infanticide and sacrificing children, of cannibalism and necrophilia, casting evil spells to cause misery and suffering and, rather curiously "having the power to steal penises".... Freud would have a field day with THAT one.

The Malleus has been the subject of much myth and exaggeration over the years. Some claims, that it was written using human blood are entirely made up. There is however, some evidence that several copies of the Malleus were printed and bound in human skin! Anthropodermic book binding as it is known technically was quite popular in the past several hundred years. These include a book in which rests the actual face of one of Guy Fawkes co-conspirators on the front cover, a book bound with chest skin and featuring nipples and other miscellaneous texts bound in flesh and skin. With this in mind, the notion that there at one point existed a Malleus bound in this manner - perhaps even using the flesh of an accused witch as its base - appear highly probable. If one still exists today, either lost in some monastery or museum, or tucked away in a private collection is unknown. 

ABOVE: "A True and Perfect Relation of the Whole Proceedings Against the Late Most Barbarous Traitors" - a book bound in the flesh of Father Henry Garnet upon his execution for his involvement in the "Gunpowder Plot" to blow up the English Parliament. The inscription on the front is Latin and reads "severe penitence punished the flesh." 

  The end of the middle ages did not see the end of the Malleus either. Between 1487 and 1520, twenty editions of the Malleus Maleficarum were published. It then fell out of circulation for many years until finding a revival in England and Europe between 1574 and 1669 during which time another 16 editions were printed. It had great influence over the drafting of many anti-witchcraft laws, especially in England and France. 

It is also interesting to note that noted anthropologist Margaret Murray - the woman responsible for permeating the idea of a "Witchcraft Cult" which has survived since the dawn of man, used the Malleus Maleficarum as evidence that such a cult existed. Many early Wiccans, eager to add legitimacy to some claims made by prominent witches [notably Gerald Gardner] pointed to this as evidence of their lineage. Some covens even claimed direct lineage back thousands of years! 

Of course, Murray was exposed as a fraud who falsified and flat out invented much of her research material so Wiccans have slowly distanced themselves from this concept, with only a few covens still adhering to the claim that Wicca is thousands of years old. 

At the end of the day, the Malleus Maleficarum is a book drenched in the horror and blood of the Inquisitions. The witch hunts of Europe claimed anywhere from 50,000 to 500,000 people - most if not all of them innocent of the crimes they were convicted of. It is a document which displays the barbarity and ignorance of the medieval Church and serves as a dark footnote in Christian literature, a glaring example of what can happen when fear and intolerance take over a community. 

A public domain translation of the Malleus Maleficarum, translated by Montague Summers can be read in it's entirety HERE