the-real-emperor-of-garlemald

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

if you're feeling lonely/or blue, or else downbeat/i'll be your one and only/and pounce upon your feet -v. :3

“Ah ha! And you Ngyeah sorts are likely the ones that have been preparing my slippers for the occasion, hm?”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

n g y e a h :3c

How DARE!

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

To mine laguna eyed puppet master, I cannot shake the piercing chill of your gaze after all this time. Every word from your mellifluous voice sings a monody to my former life, for without you, I cannot bear yet another day on this star. I know thine heart is cold and unbeating, yet your bed must be tantalizingly warm. Mayhap some night we may indulge in each others companies. Yours, Hero Hikara

(( Hold on HOLD ON I’m dying here omg Hero no @herohikara-wol ))

“Oh, oh this is absolutely wonderful. Frenetically fantastic. A gift.” Oh, he had to pen a response.

Dearest Hero;

Let’s fuck.

Sincerely,

Solus zos Galvus, The REAL Emperor of Garlemald

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

its my god given bisexual right to be dramatic

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

"Well, I am curious and you seem like you would be interested in being heard... as an ascian, how do you feel about all that -er- mortal sex you had to have as part of your plan?" Eclair paused. "I'M NOT ASKING ABOUT IT FOR MYSELF I AM JUST CURIOUS. I AM ASEXUAL YOU KNOW."

“Yes, yes, you make certain to say so at every opportunity. I do enjoy screwing and screwing with mortals from time-to-time... would you like to experience why?”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

You're my favourite dumpster fire~ ✨💖✨

“Ah, someone around here has excellent taste.”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

So not only does Solus have like body doubles by the dozen on ice waiting for him to body hop into the next meat suit but they all have the same outfit. So like I get you're a garlean scientist out there making clones of the same guy like "Yeah this is the life I chose." But there is some tailor out there in Garlemald making dozens upon dozens of the same royal outfit wondering which member of the royal family keeps running through his fine ass clothing like tissue paper.

"My tailor gets paid so well she doesn’t need to ask questions!”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

moryera replied to your post “As a voidsent to an ascian what’s it like to have such disappointments...”

"That doesn't mean much coming from you, sir. If you can survive being shot, surely you can just grow that back."

“Ah, but that’s my favourite testicle!”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

“Me every time I see Nero tol Scaeva show up anywhere.”

follow memesalldaylong for more funny stuff

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

“The other people that passed this around are also deviants. WELCOME TO THE CLUB. Your t-shirt is in the mail.”

Fucking Solus

Zenos: “You come into my house.” Solus: “I came into your great-grandmother but that’s not important right now.”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

"Mmmhmmmm. Needs more one-sided curve, more devilishly good looks. Needs more ME.”

Contributing to the Garlean trademark smirk appreciation.

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

“Oooh, the response I have in mind.”

Where in the hell did you lot come from.

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

As a voidsent to an ascian what’s it like to have such disappointments as coworkers and children? Honestly I want to know. Also I think you and Cloud of Darkness would get along swimmingly.

“I would give my left testicle for competent minions. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find servants that are capable of acting on their own mental power without completely fucking everything up? Ah, pardon the outburst. ... Do have this ‘Cloud of Darkness’ get in touch, I am most curious.”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

Has he shook a stick at Hydaelyn before

“Ugh, all the time.”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

"Grandfather, why do you act the way you do."

“What other reason is there beyond ‘it irritates your father and occasionally you’?”

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

"Shall I make this considerably worse?”

Where in the hell did you lot come from.

[the-real-emperor-of-garlemald]

"I can see that going about as well as your campaign in Eorzea.”

ASCIAN: 

(( @chthonianrule, Solus couldn’t keep his mouth shut. ))

“Well, well, well. Look who crawled out of the flames of failure to grace me with his presence once more. Why bother?”

“ If it means to end your miserable existence, Ascian, I would gladly walk amid the fire and flame of Hell to see to it.”