the-raccoon-empire

[the-raccoon-empire]

The cult of...Danny Fenton?

So! Way back when Danny first moved into his new neighborhood in Gotham, he had some trouble controlling his Powers. The different Types and Levels of Ectoplasm in the air when compared to Amity had thrown off his control.

He was used to being in places where his Ectoplasm meshed well with the Atmosphere, like a Water Balloon in a Pool, but in Gotham that analogy would be closer to a Water Balloon in the sewers. It was too different from what he was used to to fully control his Powers.

So it's understandable that he messed up a few times and his neighbors found out about his Abilities.

They took it well at first, Danny wasn't going to go Rogues or anything, and he never used them maliciously, but eventually they got curious.

They asked what his limits were, how he got them in the first place, and what the hell the Ghost Zone was. The answers "None Really", "I died and was reborn", and "A Collective of every Afterlife at once" did spark some interesting reactions from them.

Most importantly, a few of them joked about him being an Eldritch God that they needed to worship. He was good enough friends with them that at that point they felt comfortable pranking eachother, so they did just that.

Danny woke up one day on his birthday, and saw all of his friends and neighbors surrounding the makeshift Throne they had made and put him on while he was asleep. The entire day they chanted stuff like "The Great One requires Ms. Smiths Apple Pie for his day of birth!" And "The Great One Wishes for us to sing the Ritual Song! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birth-"

After his birthday, they kept up the joke.

It didn't help that his powers had evolved Again! And now he could bestow abilities onto his friends. The jokes they made about their God granting them Supernatural Powers to rule the world with were insufferable.

Then, one day while he was just resting at home, watching a movie on his TV, he felt a Pull at his Core. The same kind of Pull whenever he was being summoned. But why would they summon hi- Oh Shit! It's Mr Jenkins Party today! He was supposed to meet them at the Warehouse they used for special events an Hour Ago!

He quickly accepted the Summoning, but was met with a suprising sight. His Neighbors all tied up in a pile to his right, a spilled table of party food to his left, and right in front of him, Batman and his Family watching him with wary eyes.

Slowly, he opened his mouth. "...so, did you come for the party or..."

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Danny ends up randomly mentioning that he's half ghost without thinking about it and now they think that Alfred slept with a ghost.

In a reality where Alfred is an avatar of Clockwork or an aspect of him given his own life but but technically he is 2 people. Who truly loves the Wayne's as his own fraid but is aware of Danny and his other body's adventures.

Danny is just a baby ghost. Still a teen who hates the way after finding out everyone babies him. He's gone from fighting to gentle spars and mother henning. To the ghost he is something to be treasure, a baby a young soul, and a living being. Life was precious after all.

Danny hasn't realized that he's been adopted. Clockwork was now more his parents than Jack and Maddie. So when the turned on Danny Clockwork swooped in, securing Danny and bringing him to safety.

Clockwork who knows that as alive as he was dead Danny requires time on the mortal realm. So the soul vessel goes to the living one to drop Danny off. Who just adds Danny in no one notices. For about a week or so, and when they do, Alfred just says "Ah yes this is my son Danny."

Shit hits the fan. Everyone is curious, hurt, and for a few grossed out. Those are the ones who realized Alfred was getting some. Or they assume as much and no one wants to think of their grandpa/dad like *that*.

Bruce is convinced Danny isn't actually Alfred son. He knows Alfred would never abandon his family, the butler was always so loyal to his loved ones after all. How this kid just came into Alfred's life is suspicious. So he suggest a blood test.

Danny is quiet the entire time, it was still shocking Clockwork...or Alfred.. had adopted him; it was harder to believe his parents turned on him. He has so many emotions and he may be dissociating to cope.

But he catches the comment and looks to Alfred afraid. All he gets is a nod and Danny knew it was going to be safe just agrees.

Chaos breaks out again after thanks to Ghost shenanigans the DNA is a match. Danny is confused, Bruce is confused, Alfred/Clockwork is smug. The batfamily is struggling.

"As I said master Bruce, this is my son Daniel but he prefers Danny." He pats Danny on the head as Bruce bluesceens more.

Danny ever the little shit and feeling the social awkward urge to be funny and break the ice, "Congrats you're a big brother."

Bruce faints.

[the-raccoon-empire]

Reasons I find the Damian Wayne/Danny Fenton ship really funny (besides the ship name being Dead Serious which is truly bespoke):

Tim: Well, they say that kids often date people that remind them of their parents.

Damian: That is ludicrous. Danny is nothing like father or mother.

Tim: No, but look.

Danny: And than I said "Oh yeah? You and what toaster?"

Dick: *wheezing laughter* Oh my god, that's so good. I should use that!

Damian: *dawning horror*

Tim: Good luck buddy. I hope Danny at least knows how to dress himself properly.

[the-raccoon-empire]

Ghost Beauty Standards

So what if ghosts have their own scale for beauty?

Waxy pale skin, half-lidded eyes, empty eyes, colorless lips, ashen complexion, and sunken cheeks.

These are considered the most attractive features of a ghost without the extra bells and whistles.

Tim did not know this when he sat at his desk after pulling a week straight of sleepless case-solving and his desk neighbor was staring at him.

Danny had never seen anyone more beautiful until he noticed Tim. He looked like he could drop dead at any moment. Did he even drink water? Eating?

Those beautiful glassy vacant eyes made Danny blush. He couldn't take his eyes off him.

When class ended Tim sat up Danny heard his back crack from his still position. Thoughts of rigor mortis filled his head and the sound of popping bones was almost a turn-on. Danny didn't even know what that said about him.

Danny had to consider what to do next to tame his feelings. He could stop his attraction by helping his classmate improve his health. Or he could satisfy his urges by courting him.

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Tim: You know how you worry about me constantly?

Bruce: … Yes?

Tim, trying to ease Bruce into the "i don't have a spleen talk" and failing: Well now you have a reason to

[the-raccoon-empire]

I can't stop thinking about an AU where multiple universes collide and a bunch of alternate Bats have to save the world together-- but the catch is that they are: Talon Grayson, Gun Batman Tim, Cluemaster Steph, Demon Head Damian, Assassin Cass, Prince of Metas Duke (followed his bio father's footsteps after finding out about him) and.... Father Todd. The only one who doesn't kill people, but is very well versed in exorcism magic.

[the-raccoon-empire]

Do you think Frost scent marks his friends? Like, rubs his face against them to leave his scent on them. Acting in rare affection only to say "fuck other tabaxi, these ones are my idiots" in a scent not strong enough for others to smell.

[the-raccoon-empire]

hey chat what if clementine was real

quick clarification!! there's a running gag in ouaw that torbek is in a supposedly failed ish relationship with a cardboard cutout so i was like 'hey what if she was real and not made of cardboard and they were happy' because dammit he deserves it

[the-raccoon-empire]

Danny keeps on meeting Brucie Wayne at Galas when he goes to keep Sam company. He hates the man. There is no adoption, no adoption jokes, he never meets Batman. Give me Danny Fenton and his unending beef with Brucie Wayne. Bruce finds this absolutely hilarious. This feisty 14 year old is incredibly fun to antagonize.

[the-raccoon-empire]

me and the gang

[the-raccoon-empire]

alligators bellow in water to attract mates

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NOBODY FUCKING MOVE.

[the-raccoon-empire]

hc that every couple months jason texts tim like "hey r you going rogue yet?" "no" "alr lemme know if you change your mind" until one night tim gets this text while he's having an absolute shit week and goes yknow what? why not and suddenly the internet is filled with news that red hood teamed up with an unknown associate to cause chaos(stealing from corrupt billionaire type chaos, not mass murder of innocents type chaos) and said associate randomly shows up again every couple months

[the-raccoon-empire]

Jason has Ghost Rabies

(This is a copy of my post in the DPxDC community)

That's it, that's the post. Ghost Rabies.

(Except it wasn't. Thanksgiving sucked, so I wrote more.)

Danny is just minding his business in Gotham, trying to balance sleep and earning his doctorate, when he stumbles across this otherwise normal mortal who's showing clear signs of Ghost Rabies.

Most living people can't see the symptoms, of course. Frothing at the eyes, ectoplasmic discharge from the ears, spectral fire around the hands and legs. For a ghost, it means hallucinations, aversion to positive emotions, and an over-alertness towards perceived threats. Thankfully since they're already dead, it's not fatal the way mortal rabies can be if left untreated too long - so long as they eventually see a doctor, a ghost will be no worse for wear.

Danny has no idea why this living guy is infected, or what kinds of unseen mental symptoms he has, but it cannot be good for him. It might very well be fatal to humans!

So he grabs this beefsteak of a man out of the crowd, drags him to an alley with the intention to knock him out and drag him off to Frostbite, and -

- the guy fights back.

Normally mortals can't even give Danny a bruise these days, but this guy damn near breaks Danny's jaw with a single punch.

And Danny knows, rationally, it must be the Ghost Rabies giving this mortal supernatural strength. But his instincts are telling him that this grown-ass ghost just sucker punched him, and now he needs to teach a bitch a lesson.

And well, Danny hasn't let a ghost get away with shit like that in years.

By the time he gets himself back under control, Danny has one broken arm and the other wrapped around the tanky mortal's throat, there's smoking craters of ectoplasm pockmarking the street, someone is redirecting traffic around the "rogue fight," and there is a Very Concerned Looking group of rich assholes hovering just out of the blast radius.

So Danny scoops up his prize - who looks a little bit concussed, but is still squirming and trying to smack him - and, figuring his cover is already blown anyway, just straight up teleports them both to the Far Frozen in a swirl of green fire and stardust.

Fuck Gotham, anyway.

[the-raccoon-empire]

It's the zombie apocalypse! Or, it's trying to be?

"Go to college!" Bruce had said, "You won't regret it!" he had promised, "Just go for one semester!" he had begged.

Well, as Tim watches the Chemistry lab across the hall become a horrifying chaotic mess of people turning into straight up zombies thanks to an experiment gone wrong, he hopes that Bruce realizes how wrong he was.

This?

Not worth it.

But the zombies...stop attacking?

They're all circling another student, staring intently and...trying to lick his hair.

Tim leans closer to the window in the door, ignoring his classmates behind him trying to pull him down to cover. They're overreacting; the door is locked and the zombies are no longer showing aggression, it's fine.

He instead focuses on the kid that's successfully stopped the zombie apocalypse by...becoming what appears to be a salt lick. For the zombies.

It's Daniel Fenton.

The kid hiding the fact that he's a meta.

They're in the same study group together, and it looks like Tim just found out what Danny's powers are; calming the undead.

Danny, however, just looks like he's on the verge of tears and exhausted.

Or; One of Danny's Chemistry classmates decides to go supervillain, and turns most of his Chemistry class into zombies. But halfas are only half alive, and register as...not prey, to zombies. More like something to investigate? Definitely not to bite, though. Danny, however, knows they're licking the ecto in his sweat. He also knows he can't be turned into a zombie. Ugh. Ew. So... Fine. So Danny is forced to stand, in his Chemistry lab, getting licked by the zombies of his ex classmates while the living ones escape and call for help.

[the-raccoon-empire]

[the-raccoon-empire]

Okay I don't know who needs to hear this but I have seen a few people joking about it and it's not good.

If the results aren't what you had hoped for, do not kill yourself. If you're feeling suicidal because of the stress, go drink some water, turn on some music you like, and relax. It will be okay.

If you're one of the people who are talking about hurting others if the results aren't what you want, you also need to relax.