the-portmantologist

[the-portmantologist]

I have this cool super power that allows me to solve spot-the-difference puzzles nearly instantly. As in, I can look at them and without pausing between items, point them all out in a matter of seconds… now, I hadn’t done this in a while, but just remembered this power. I was working in a computer lab at the time and called over a friend, already having a spot-the-difference puzzle pulled up and ready. I explained what I just explained above here and said, “watch this,” before proceeding to do a spot-the-difference puzzle at a normal-to-slow pace, realizing to my chagrin that I was out of practice. So really what I did was say, “hey watch this,” then slowly do a spot-the-difference. Which in concept is super goddamn funny.

[the-portmantologist]

Reticular Membrane sounds like a silly little band.

[the-portmantologist]

Hey, Portmantologist, what’s your favorite Disney character?

Jetsam.

[the-portmantologist]

ChatGPT: Once upon a time, there was a group of toddlers who loved to play with hank beans.They would spend hours stacking them up, knocking them down, and pretending they were spaceships flying through the galaxy. One day, a mischievous toddler decided to try and eat one of the hank beans, and to everyone's surprise, they discovered that hank beans had magical properties. The toddler who ate the hank bean suddenly grew to the size of a giant and could see over the tops of buildings! The other toddlers were amazed and begged the giant toddler to share the secret of the hank bean with them. So they all munched on the hank beans, and before they knew it, they were all soaring through the sky on giant broomsticks, playing quidditch and chasing after the golden snitch. From that day forward, the toddlers knew that hank beans were the key to unlocking endless fun and adventure.

Me: What the fuck is a hank bean?

ChatGPT: I apologize for any confusion my previous response may have caused. "Hank beans" is not a real term or concept that I am aware of. It was simply a nonsensical phrase used for comedic effect.

[the-portmantologist]

Do you know what a Glasgow Kiss is? I’ll tell you. It’s a right solid head butt to the nose, one that would often break it. That said, if ever someone offers you a Glasgow Kiss, well, you’d probably say no anyway regardless of whether or not you knew this, because most people don’t accept random kisses from strangers, even if they do specify the locale. But if they’re dashing and you’d like to accept their Glasgow Kiss, probably don’t, because it’s probably a head butt to your nose. Unless they happen to actually be from Glasgow, in which case, idk, up to you, I couldn’t begin to guess

[the-portmantologist]

A conundrum keeps a steady beat while I claptrap along. But I don’t own a kazoo, yet :(

[the-portmantologist]

When a mohel gets fired, do they get a severance package?

[the-portmantologist]

A man with pale skin,

His mouth is covered in red.

Ronald McDonald.