the-mournful-phoenix

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion​:

Albus blinked back his own tears as Ariana so gently stroked his hair. He had never deserved her. She had always been so sweet and innocent before those Muggles had harmed her in the most brutal of ways. But he knew she had still fretted over him and Aberforth too, even if she had never been able to put her concerns into words. He had seen the look on her face sometimes or the way she held his hand, always so gentle. But all those years ago, he had just been so angry and bitter about being dragged back to the place he had loathed. The responsibility had been crippling and he had been so unhappy until he had met Gellert in Bathildas living room. Then all he had wanted was to spend every spare moment he had in the company of the boy he had come so quickly to love. “Yes, we should both eat something.” Albus agreed, giving Gellert a slight nod. He pushed himself slowly into standing, wincing only slight as his back protested. He wasn’t as young as he had been the last time he had slept on these couches. Well passed out on them was more accurate, too drunk to even know where he was half the time. He glanced up at his younger self, knowing what was ahead of him if they couldn’t change the course of history he had lived through. His heart ached at the pain that might be laying in wait for him if they failed. No, they wouldn’t fail. They couldn’t. Not again. They had to find a way to change the course of history, for everyone in this house. Especially for Ariana, who had been the most innocent victim of all. Albus reached out to take his sisters hand, sniffling as he was overcome with emotion for a moment before he tilted his head to indicate they should go into the kitchen. Once they were alone, the younger Albus turned to face Gellert. He had remained almost silent during the entire exchange, still coming to terms with everything that was happening. His heart was still racing, thinking of what Gellert had told him. Their separation, Arianas death and Aberforhts estrangement from him. They couldn’t permit any of this to happen. Not again. He had seen the pain his older self was in and he didn’t want to face that, especially alone. They needed to save them all. “Once they’ve eaten, we need to speak with him before Aberforth wakes. We need to know as much as we can about the future he has come from.” Albus reached out to take Gellerts hand in his. “Just in case somehow he disappears. We can’t know how long this spell of his - mine - might work. Time travel like this is unheard of and every moment he’s here, it’s putting everyone and everything at risk, including us.”

Before Ariana could attempt to offer Albus a smile whose brightness matched his bravery and judiciousness, the slight wince he gave as he rose from the couch made her furrow her brow instead, her acute concern for him written all across her features.

Had he become even more adept at concealing his pain than the Albus she knew had already become over the years?

Worse even, had the pain he had been carrying in his heart spread to the rest of his body, intent on tormenting him at every waking moment as well as in his dreams?

Am I the one who did this to him? Ariana wondered, a frigid chill creeping up her delicate spine in immediate response to her sinister premonition.

Had Albus reached for her hand but a moment later, her foul magic would have carved fresh cuts into her sullied flesh.

With a shaky breath, she inclined her head in a brief nod, mustering the most convincing smile she was capable of. It was a smile nurtured by the profound love for her family that she bore in her heart.

No, I shall do anything not to be his death, like I was Mother’s. Anything.

Giving Albus’ hand a reassuring squeeze, Ariana followed him to the kitchen.

Later that day, she would seek out Gellert, and she would turn each and every sliver of guidance and wisdom he was willing to impart to her into a new source of strength.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Gellert couldn’t help the smile that stretched when Ariana reached out for his hand. He could tell that it had been an unconscious movement, since she had been distracted by the sight of his wand. It was a peculiar looking instrument and often captured peoples attention. He had never seen another wand like it but he had come to appreciate it over the years.

His mother had been quite taken with it, smiling when he had shown her. “You’re a force of nature. Dark and uncontrollable, yet still so beautiful.” She had said, stroking his cheek so gently.

His father had hated it, looking at it in disgust over the rim of his brandy glass. “It’s not befitting for the wizard you are. Surely you could have insisted on another?” He had seen his fathers lingering look of disapproval at the wand before he had taken a gulp of the brandy and already moving to pour another one. His father hadn’t liked anything that he couldn’t control.

Knowing it displeased his father had made him like the wand so much more.

“Do you like it?” Gellert asked, holding the wand up to the light. “It’s quite an unusual design. Most people are confused by it’s appearance, since it doesn’t really look like a crafted wand at all.” he ran a finger over the thorns, careful not to press hard enough to draw blood.

He turned his attention back to Ariana, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. He knew what a significant move it was on her part, to place such trust in him. From what Albus had said, his sister had barely stepped foot further than the back door since she was a child and his mother hadn’t been welcoming to strangers. Now he understood why.

Were the Dumbledores safe here? If somehow their secrets were discovered, Ariana would likely be taken away, locked up or killed. Albus could face serious consequences for concealing someone that was risking the expose of their kind. He couldn’t allow such a thing and it made him even more determined to free their kind from the shackles and blindfolds the Ministries kept them all in. While he had long believed in such a cause, meeting Albus and Ariana now had only further strengthened his resolve.

But that couldn’t happen overnight and it would mean Albus and Ariana would remain in danger. That wasn’t acceptable and Gellert knew that he needed to start making plans for their safe passage away from England as soon as it were possible and once Albus agreed.

When Gellert spoke to her instead of casting a spell that would make her presentable once more as per her permission, Ariana opened her eyes, blinking in confusion as she tilted her head in a silent inquiry.

But then, his words sank in, and she nodded enthusiastically without another moment of delay.

Before she was aware of it, she was already smiling again and raising her free hand to her mouth as if to stifle the ebullient laughter her throat had stopped producing on that terrible day.

Her narrow shoulders shook, and although remained as silent as she had been since then, it felt as though a swarm of hummingbirds had come to life within her, as though a thousand pairs of wings were fluttering in their too-narrow cage wrought from Ariana’s delicate rib bones.

You’re just like Albus! Her eyes seemed to be rejoicing, bright and youthful in their excitement and affection. You love magic more than you love anything else in the world, and so fiercely it at times distracts you from everything else around you.

A part of Ariana envied him for it.

After all, she had become tainted and damaged long before she could have ever known the exhilarating joy of being chosen by a wand herself, of connecting with that wand and honing the ability to wield her magic deliberately and with masterful precision.

The reminder made her smile falter, yet her blossoming fondness of Gellert rekindled it before it could be extinguished by the bleak truth pertaining to her foul nature.

She could not bring herself to resent him like she resented most of the other wizards and witches her brothers mentioned around her, nor did she begrudge him the freedom irreversibly lost to her.

With an inaudible huff, she squeezed Gellert’s hand once more, directing a pointed look first at his magnificent wand and then at Gellert himself.

They’re too stupid to appreciate anything of true value, then, she concluded, having picked up on the implications of his words about the others who had assessed his unique wand.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Gellert was sure he was holding his breath, waiting for Ariana to give him the consent he had requested. He was fearful, not of her, but of upsetting her further. He still felt terrible for giving her such a startle when he had barged into the home that wasn’t his, all in fear that her brother was laying here dead when he had only just stepped out to fetch groceries. ’You’re getting in too deep, Gellert’ He silently admonished himself but he knew that was a reflection for another time. For now, he had to care for Ariana. He gave her a soft smile as she nodded her agreement to him. He was both pleased and proud, knowing it likely wasn’t an easy thing for her. He had so many questions, wondering just how she ended up this way. He wouldn’t pry, not even to Albus just yet. He would respect the privacy that clearly the Dumbledores wanted. Besides, he didn’t want to make Albus suspicious and he had promised Ariana he wouldn’t divulge her secrets to either of her brothers. “I’m going to take out my wand now.” His tone was gentle and he slowly reached down to remove it from the holder he wore at his belt. He gazed at the wand momentarily. He had come to quite appreciate the wand that had chosen him, although for a long time he had been almost offended. Despite it being crafted, it still looked like it had just been snapped from the branch of a tree. He had often wondered if it was the twist in the handle or the thorns that could still draw blood that had made this magical instrument choose him. He had come to understand that it suited him well. “I’m just going to clean up the blood and fix your dress.” Gellert was still holding her hand, wanting to reassure that that he would only do what she was was comfortable with. “That’s all.” He wanted to give her time to change her mind so he took pause once more.

Ariana Dumbledore didn’t recall when her tainted heart had last swelled with pride in response to someone regarding her with sincere approval, to someone praising her with a gentle smile and blissful touches.

She was not so delusional as to stubbornly insist that Albus, her mother, that even Aberforth had done so without pitying her deep down, a girl too broken to ever spread her wings once more. The more they spoke, the more certain Ariana had become of this particular truth.

Whom were they attempting to convince that their valiant efforts amounted to more than the preservation of a lifeless vessel?

Ariana no longer believed that it was her.

As she took in Gellert’s unique wand and the sharp thorns adorning it, however, her bleak ruminations swiftly exited her mind.

Was it due to Fate’s influence that she now encountered those thorns a second time, and that they intended to heal her instead of drawing further blood?

She couldn’t tell when she had placed her free left hand atop Gellert’s as well, yet neither astonishment nor the blossoming affection in her gaze made way for an expression of dread when she did realize at last that she must have moved it unconsciously.

Instead, she held onto Gellert’s hand as one would hold something invaluable and sacred and inclined her head, accepting his purifying blessing with tears of joy in her eyes.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion​:

Albus’ attention was drawn back to Ariana beside him. Merlin, he had missed her. It felt like a lifetime ago since he had last seen her. That final day had been etched into his memory. He had replayed that entire summer over and over in his mind and in his dreams in the decades that had past. The only summer he’d ever had with Gellert and the last month he had with his family. He’d been so angry, feeling so lost and resentful at having his plans shattered. He’d never appreciated what he had had back then. The quite mornings in the house. Curling up beside Ariana on the couch and reading to her when she was having a difficult day. Feeding the goats with both his siblings. Surprising both Abe and Ari with a small box of chocolates he’d bought at the store in the village. He wondered time and time again that might have happened if Gellert had never come to the Hollow but despite what had happened, he never could quite bring himself to regret meeting the love of his life. That’s why he had come here. To right his wrongs and perhaps he wouldn’t lose everyone again. Albus noted the look Ariana was giving him and he offered a soft smile. He didn’t really have anyone who worried about him these days. Not in the way Ariana once had. Not in the way Gellert once had. “I’ll eat something, I promise.” He nodded, putting his hand over hers that was stroking his cheek. He couldn’t recall the last time had eaten properly. He’d been avoiding most meals at Hogwarts. The students and faculty would so often erupt into applause as he entered the Great Hall for what he had done to Gellert. That had subsided over time but their ongoing looks of awe and wonderment - from both students and faculty - made him feel sick to his stomach. He’d isolated himself even more than normal, even from Minerva “I can’t recall the last time I had a decent meal. I certainly would not say no to Bathilda’s lemon biscuits if she were so inclined to try and fatten me up.” He winked at Ariana with a warm smile, recalling how often Bathilda had sent him home with a plate to share.

Ariana’s tense posture relaxed the very instant Albus reassured her that he would indeed be eating something, yet despite the relief washing over her like a soothing balm and allowing her to breathe more easily again, she wasn’t able to return Albus’ smile with a bright smile of her own not marred by the tears falling freely once more.

The mere thought of her eldest brother starving himself for so long, to the point he couldn’t even tell her when he had stopped eating properly, pierced her heart like one of those Muggle knives she had seen those boys as well as others like them wave around like a harmless, common toy so many times before that day.

It was significantly more agonizing to imagine Albus’ pain than her own struggles had ever been, even when it so often felt as though the bread she struggled to force down her throat turned into sand and dirt the very instant she put it in her mouth, as though the soup turned into bile and acid.

She wasn’t oblivious to the significance of Albus not even hesitating to bear that discomfort for her.

Acting on an impulse, Ariana reached up with her free hand and proceeded to pet his head in gratitude and unconcealed affection.

She had spent too many years in that house to recognize the gesture as one reserved for scared children and animals, though the fierce protectiveness both of her brothers inspired in her had never made a distinction between strength and vulnerability, between maturity and juvenile incertitude.

Instead, their pain alone made her forget about her weakness at least for a fleeting moment.

“The two of you should head to the kitchen, then,” Gellert chimed in, and Ariana sensed that his timing was just as calculated and deliberate as his words. “I believe Miss Ariana hasn’t had a meal yet either.”

Giving Albus a reassuring nod so as to convey her agreement, Ariana waited for his response.

If it meant Albus was willing to eat again, Ariana would be strong for him and set a good example.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Gellert watched her closely, realising that she couldn’t remain in the state she was currently in. The blood was staining her dress, her cheeks were tear stained and her hair needed a good comb. Albus couldn’t return home and find her like this. It would only worry him even more than he already was and he certainly already had enough to worry about. He also sensed that Ariana wanted to keep this a secret from both her brothers and he would respect her choice and keep her confidence.

‘Ariana, I promise you that I’m not going to tell anyone what happened here today. Not Albus or Aberforth if you don’t want me to. Your secrets and your family secrets are safe with me.“ Gellert assured her, still holding onto her hand. He had already come to care a great deal about Albus Dumbledore and he was quickly becoming aware of the lengths that he would go to, to protect him and his family as well. Except perhaps Aberforth…. (No, he would protect Aberforth too. He was an ungrateful little brat but he was still Albus’ brother) "Albus is my friend and so are you.”

He wasn’t sure how much time they had before Albus or Aberforth would return. Hopefully they had a little time yet so Ariana could get cleaned up before anyone saw anything she didn’t want them too.

“I think it might be best if you change your dress before your brothers return. I can’t help you with that, unless you would allow me to use magic?” He didn’t want to take his wand out without her permission, not wishing to upset her again or have her view his presence as a form of threat. She had cuts on her skin that were still bleeding into the material of her dress she wore. Did this happen often? Were Albus and Aberforth aware of this or was she able to tend to herself during these attacks?

Ariana released a pent-up breath, regarding Gellert with a sense of wonder she so rarely experienced at this point. Never before had a person looked at her — truly looked at her — and not only understood what she was in the way Albus did, but also accepted her in spite of such knowledge. 

Gellert's gentle touch and reassurances were like a soothing balm, and Ariana was struck by her greedy, desperate desire to prove herself deserving of his kindness and warmth again and again.

Having made her decision, she slowly shook her head once more, and looked Gellert in the eyes. Ariana may have feared the dangers magic had been posing to them all from the moment she had become damaged and tainted, yet she found herself struggling to imagine that the same harm would befall her if Gellert were to cast his magic upon her.

After all, if her own foul magic was a manifestation of her wickedness, then surely Gellert's magic had to reflect his noble strength that had prompted him to approach her despite the pronounced instability she had been displaying.

Although she was a wretched girl inflicting nothing but misfortune on the people she loved, Ariana wasn't selfish enough to sabotage Gellert's selfless attempts at helping them all.

Her expression was serene almost as she waited for Gellert to procure his wand and allow her to accept him as he had accepted her. 

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion​:

Albus knew that he had little option but to take the offered suggestion. After all, he needed everyone’s cooperation if they were going to make this place work. Granted, it wasn’t much of a plan yet but it was a beginning. His younger self and Gellert were at least open to listening to him and his warnings and he needed assist with them with that. “I don’t have any objections to staying with you, although if Bathilda finds out, I’d imagine that she might.” Albus mused, only somewhat joking. He couldn’t imagine she would take too kindly to discovering a middle aged wizard in her teenage nephews bedroom. Still, they’d likely find a way to make this work and keep it from her. The less people who knew about his time travelling visit, the better. “We can keep this a secret from Aberforth if you insist, perhaps it is for the best given his penchant for jumping to the incorrect conclusions at the drop of a sorting hat.” Albus knew the risks of involving his younger brother, whose quick temper had always cause problems, even in the future. “But I want to share as much as I can with you both. While I don’t think I should be returning back to my time anytime soon, the spells I’ve cast are new and could react in unstable ways. I want you both to know everything so that you can continue in my absence if that becomes necessary.” The younger Albus watched in silence, wondering why he felt unable to speak. He had never been particularly shy and yet it seemed being confronted with his older self left him feeling overwhelmed. It was still so hard to wrap his mind about the future that was looming over them all. A life without Gellert by his side. Losing Ariana in the most final ways and becoming completely estranged from Aberforth. As much as he struggled with the responsibilities placed upon his shoulders, he could never wish for a future without his family and his family now included Gellert. He gave his hand a squeeze as if to reassure himself that Gellert was still by his side and they would be doing everything to keep him there.

Sensing that the oppressive tension hanging in the air had lifted at least to a certain degree, Ariana experienced a sense of tentative optimism herself.

The Albus at her side was behaving in an entirely different manner than Aberforth usually would whenever he was at odds with the Albus she knew or with Gellert himself, and it was becoming more and more apparent that Gellert appreciated his efforts.

“I appreciate that, though I sincerely doubt Aunt Bathilda would mind your staying in her house if she ever were to find out,” Gellert replied, yet while his exasperated tone simulated indignation, his eyes sparkled with mischief and mirth, especially as he continued, “That being said, unless you were secretly hoping for her to force-feed you with all kinds of nutritious foods, I wouldn’t recommend allowing her to see you at this stage. As we all know, Aunt Bathilda can be quite ruthless whenever she suspects a person dear to her has been eating too little.” And he chuckled quietly.

It was only then that Ariana realized that he had been rubbing small circles into the back of his Albus’ hand, and that, despite its sincerity, the true purpose of his charismatic jest had likely been to distract the older Albus from the vulnerability his younger self was displaying.

Taking a deep breath, Ariana gave Albus’ hand a gentle tug in a silent request for him to look at her, and when he did, she regarded him with her concern being written all across her features.

This older Albus truly was too thin, and tracing his cheek and his too prominent rib bones, she pleaded with him to eat with her gaze alone.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion​:

Albus knew that Gellert didn’t trust him and he couldn’t blame him for that. This was certainly an extraordinary set of circumstances and ones he wasn’t sure that he would entirely believe if the roles were reversed. He couldn’t help the small sad smile gracing his lips as he watched Gellert trying to protect his younger counterpart. The Gellert of his own time would likely try and kill him now.

His gaze was torn away from the pair when Ariana reached out and took his hand in his. He watched her with such silent awe and adoration. He had missed her so much in the years since her passing. He had never fully appreciate her in her final years. He had been young and foolish back then. So arrogant and angry, feeling as if he had the world upon his shoulders. He loved his siblings but he also felt their weight upon him, which had been dragging him down when he had been wanting to soar.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. How much of her life had he simply missed when he had been too busy to notice? When he had been away at Hogwarts, his life had been so different and he had spent most of the year away. He’d send letters and chocolates and small gifts from Hogsmeade when he could but their mother always insisted to never mention her in correspondence or address anything to Ariana directly.

When he had returned here after their mothers passing, he had been so angry and resentful, he was sure his unhappiness had permeated the entire household. He would spend as much time as he could closed off in his bedroom or at Professor Bagshots until Gellert had appeared in his life. He’d thought the young man was all of his dreams come true. He and Gellert were going to be revolutionaries. They were going to be leaders of a new movement, charging ahead and leading their people out of the darkness and into the light.

But how much of Arianas life had he missed? As he had been sleeping in, or burning dinner as he penned letters to Gellert or sneaking off into town for research or spending the day with Gellert in his room at Bagshots or hiding away in the tall grass down by the creek? He’d been so selfish, thinking only of himself.

But he could fix this. He could help their younger counterparts fix this for all of them. Ariana, Gellert, himself and Aberforth too.

He held onto Arianas hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze and he offered her a smile before he looked up at Gellert and his younger self.

“I know neither of you trust me and I don’t blame you for that. I likely would have struggled with this if the situation was reversed.” he took a deep breathe. “But Iam here to help. The future that is coming for you, that has past for me, is not a good one. I don’t want it to come to pass a second time for all of us.”

Tears welled up in Ariana’s eyes when Albus turned to look at her with a gaze filled with so much warmth and affection, when he so gently squeezed her hand and gifted her a sincere smile she had never grown accustomed to being the target of.

How many years would pass for the Albus of her own time to stop resenting her as well?

How much further pain would he have to experience to become blind to how damaged, to how dangerous and unstable she truly was?

Was she being selfish in allowing him to make the same sacrifice when she was so utterly undeserving of such kindness?

Ariana couldn’t have experienced a more poignant longing for a future in which neither her brothers nor Gellert were forced to make even a single additional sacrifice for her, in which she was able to prove herself worthy of the affection she so craved.

Giving Albus’ hand a soft squeeze in return, she directed her focus to Gellert once more and resumed her attempt at discerning his true feelings and thoughts.

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” Gellert replied, regarding the Albus at her side intently.

Despite the effortless grace with which he maintained his politeness and composure, however, Ariana’s instincts were warning her that the storm had yet to pass.

“As we, too, are determined to prevent the tragedies you’ve experienced from occurring a second time,” Gellert continued, “we must ask you to keep your arrival here a secret from Aberforth. That is, until we have steered him away from the most detrimental among the conclusions he’ll most certainly draw if we fail to proceed with the necessary cautiousness and sensitivity. Do you have any objections to being accommodated in my room for the time being?”

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion​:

He gasped softly when he realised with a start that this wasn’t a dream. Ariana was really here before him again, alive and well. The time travelling had worked. He was truly back once more and had, hopefully, been given a second chance to right his wrongs. Albus hugged her back carefully, almost fearful that he would somehow hurt her or that she would somehow disappear. Merlin, he had missed her so very much and he didn’t think he would ever be able to let her go. She felt solid and warm and wonderful and tears pricked at his eyes and he pressed him lips together in an attempt to stop them from spilling over to no avail. He winced at the loss when Ariana pulled away so quickly from him. He had been enjoying the moment so much and felt disappointment curl within him. But then he looked up and there stood Gellert, stepping forward to place himself between the older and younger counterparts. It was strangely comforting and off putting at the same time. He was pleased to see Gellert being protective of him but he wasn’t here to harm any of them, especially his younger self. It was strange to see himself, hovering behind Gellert but peering over his shoulder to get a better look at him. He couldn’t say he blamed him, this was certainly an unusual and remarkable set of circumstances. No doubt he was curious and concerned. “Much better than when I arrived. I can’t recall having slept so well for a long time so thank you.” He had no idea how much time had passed. He slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position, feeling the intensity of Gellerts gaze upon him.

Gellert inclined his head in a curt nod. “You needn’t thank me for that,” he said, giving Albus’ hand a discreet squeeze without averting his scrutinizing gaze from the older Albus at Ariana’s side. “I’m glad to hear your exhaustion has eased somewhat.”

Ariana could tell that Gellert took no pleasure in regarding the Albus from the future with such wariness and that he was only doing it to shield the Albus behind him from further harm.

Steeling her resolve, Ariana reached for the hand of Albus’ older counterpart and held onto it in a gesture mirroring Gellert’s.

She did not dare to hope that her attempt at offering reassurance and comfort was as effective as Gellert’s, yet she couldn’t bear the thought of either Albus experiencing such a distressing encounter entirely by himself and thus felt compelled to do everything in her might to support the older Albus.

Upon seeing the subtle twitch of Gellert’s lips, Ariana released a pent-up breath, relieved that Gellert appeared to understand and approve of her reasoning rather than regarding her decision as an act of betrayal like she had momentarily feared.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion​:

Albus nodded with an affectionate smile. Yes indeed, if anyone could find a way to overcome the dark and dismal future of their counterparts, it was them. They were two of the brightest wizards of their age and together, Albus knew they were and could continue to be something quite remarkable and extraordinary. The thought of not being with Gellert wasn’t something he ever wanted to consider. The information they’d been gifted by his future self would ensure they’d never part ways.

He was just about to agree with him once more when he noticed his future self beginning to stir. He held his breath for a moment, wondering what it would be like. To truly come face to face with yourself from the future. His heart ached once more at the unhappiness Gellert had said his counterpart spoke of. He gripped Gellerts hand a little tighter, thinking how awful it would be to become truly alone and suffer in such solitude.

Albus slowly opened his eyes, reluctant to be dragged out of a most pleasant dream where he and Gellert had been reunited in Godrics Hollow of all places. It must have been the best sleep he’d had for years, for his body felt relaxed and he was more at ease than he could ever remember being. Then Ari came into view and his breath caught. He was still dreaming.

“Ariana.” he whispered gently. She was just as she always was in his dreams. He gave her a soft smile. She was stroking his hair so gently as if he somehow might break.

Ariana could have wept in relief that – at least for the time being – Albus’ older self and Gellert had refrained from fighting, that Gellert instead appeared to have made him fall asleep with the same spell he had cast on her.

She could not bear the thought of either of them getting hurt, especially not at the hands of the other, and she had been caressing Albus’ head from the moment she had caught sight of his sleeping form on the other couch. There was only little she could do to ease his pain, to chase away his guilt and his unjustified self-loathing, yet if he allowed her to remain at his side, she would do everything in her capacity to help him realize that he did not deserve the harsh punishments she suspected him of inflicting on himself without any semblance of mercy.

Upon being pulled out of her thoughts by a gentle whisper of her name and seeing him smile at her rather than regarding her with disgust or resentment, Ariana couldn’t prevent her lips from parting in a silent gasp, and she did not think twice about embracing him, about cradling his head against her delicate form.

“How are you feeling?” Gellert inquired, and Ariana immediately straightened her back and turned to look at him.

While his tone was impeccably polite and contained no traces of hostility, he had taken a small step forward and his intense, scrutinizing gaze betrayed an unwavering resolve to protect the Albus of their time by any means necessary.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Panic gripped Gellert as she started to cry softly. He hadn’t meant to upset her further. He had been trying to ease her concerns, not make her feel worse. Albus would likely throw him out if he came home to discover he had not only frightened his little sister but made her cry too. He was just about to offer to leave again but her expression shifted and he realised that these were happy tears. She had liked what he had said. About his concern for Albus and perhaps about wanting to her friend too. He couldn’t help but smile back at her, basking in the warmth of her sudden happiness. Clearly, he had said the right thing and he was grateful for the chance to see her like this. He offered her his pinky, linking it with hers and shook it gently. It was obvious how much she cared for Albus and that her brothers happiness meant a great deal to her. It was already one thing that they had in common and he hoped to discover more as time went on. “Thank you for agreeing to be my friend. You’re officially my second friend here in Godrics Hollow.” he smiled at her before he offered her a handkerchief to wipe her tear stained cheeks. “If Albus walks in and thinks I’ve made you cry, he might turn me into a dung beetle and I really don’t like the idea of that.” His tone was light and teasing as he winked at her.

It occurred to Ariana then that Gellert was even more exceptionally handsome than he had already been to begin with when his aristocratic features lit up with such an unusually radiant smile, and the fact that it was now directed at Ariana alone caused a gentle warmth to blossom in her chest she had all but forgotten about until this moment.

She wholly understood how Albus had come to adore Gellert Grindelwald with every fiber of his being, now that Ariana, too, had learned about his ability to chase away the darkness looming over them all with a single smile.

When he linked his little finger with hers and shook it gently without a moment of hesitation, Ariana regarded him with unconcealed wonder. She had almost expected him to shy away from her touch, and she wouldn’t have at all faulted him for not wanting to be infected with her taint.

He had seen her when she had been unable to conceal how damaged, how irreversibly wicked she truly was and yet, he was treating her with so much tenderness and warmth.

Accepting the offered handkerchief, she dabbed at her cheeks and utilized every ounce of her willpower to prevent herself from shedding further tears of emotion.

Then, she shook her head, taking Gellert’s hand in her own and giving it a gentle squeeze. The mere notion of Albus blaming the first and only wizard who had ever showed him a glimpse of true hope for her weakness couldn’t have been absurder to Ariana.

Instead, should Albus see her tears and the blood staining her dress, he would immediately recognize her as a threat to the fragile happiness he had only recently found and treat her accordingly.

Ariana stiffened, hoping against all hope that her secrets would remain unexposed within her family at least for another day.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Gellert breathed a soft sigh of relief when she nodded in agreement. He hadn’t wanted to upset her further but he also didn’t want to leave her alone. He would stay with her until at least Albus or Aberforth came home to be with her. “Thank you.” he offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before he carefully moved closer. He didn’t stand, not wanting to be looming over her when she was clearly feeling so vulnerable. He scooted along the rug, ignoring the slight discomfort it caused. He was careful to keep his hands in view at all time. He came to a stop just in front of her, maintaining a short distance between them. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable and he knew he still needed to be careful in case there was another incident. “I’m sorry that I startled you.” It had been quite foolish of him to simply let himself into the house. He and Albus had only known each other less than a week and it wasn’t as if he had been given permission to come and go as he pleased. “I came here looking for Albus. I wrote him a letter and he hadn’t replied. I was worried about him.”

He wasn’t going to admit that it had only been a few hours and he had been picturing Albus practically on his death bed. It had been the only reason he could come up with as to why he hadn’t responded. He should have remembered that Albus had responsibilities of a family to look after. He never should have let himself in here without permission. He felt guilt gnaw away at him. He had caused Ariana to lose control.

“I’d like to stay with you, if you’ll allow me to. I must confess, I’m rather lonely at my Aunts home. She spends most of her days writing papers or reading in her study or writing correspondence.” That wasn’t a complete lie. He did get terribly bored when Albus was distracted and his Aunt, while interesting company, was otherwise engaged. “I’m Albus’ friend but I’d like to be yours too. I don’t have any other friends here in Godrics Hollow except Albus.” He didn’t really have any friends anywhere.

For a moment, Ariana was taken aback at Gellert’s apology, at the sincerity in his voice, and she couldn’t prevent herself from blinking as she attempted to process how quick Gellert was to assume all responsibility for her violent response to his unexpected visit even though it had been her who had failed to control her malevolent magic and almost injured him or worse.

When Gellert revealed what had prompted him to pay them an unannounced visit, Ariana’s eyes widened and her lips parted in a silent gasp. Then, her features softened, and the initial surprise and confusion on her features made way for an expression of profound gratitude.

She couldn’t recall the last time anyone had ever truly looked at Albus and recognized what he so desperately needed. Had Ariana not been as aware of how much discomfort her emotional displays had always caused for the people in her proximity, she would have shed an abundance of additional tears, knowing that no words nor any other nonverbal gestures could possibly convey just how relieved she was that for the first time, someone was looking out for Albus in a sufficiently thorough manner.

Instead, she wiped away her tears and willed her lips to curve into a smile, and despite its fragility, despite its diffidence, it was not unlike the first rays of sun that lit up the earth after a long bleak winter.

With an enthusiastic nod, she held out her little finger, determined to protect the happiness Albus had been granted at last and to act as a good friend to Gellert in equal parts.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Albus might have told him that she was ‘sick’ but she wasn’t. At least not in the way Albus had tried to convince him of. Her magic was so powerful, it was roaring to be allowed free. Who had done this to her? Who had dared to hurt her? Surely something had happened, to make her like this. She came from a proud magical family, she had no reason to hide her powers and they certainly wouldn’t have punished her for them. Was it those filthy Muggles their father had attacked? His Aunt had told him on his first night here, swearing him to secrecy so he wouldn’t ask any of the Dumbledores about it. He had been planning to wait until Albus brought it up but was now cursing he had allowed propriety to keep him from such important information about Albus’ little sister. He swallowed back a soft sob of relief as her as the clay shards fell and her shoulders slouched. Her pain had eased - for now - and he was incredibly grateful for that. He watched as her wide eyes looked over at him, clearly searching for something. “I’m not hurt Ariana.” He quickly realised she was fearful of having harmed him in some way. He wondered again if this was how her mother had died and if she had ever hurt Albus or Aberforth when she lost control. He gripped his knee at the thought of Albus being harmed or worse but now wasn’t the time for that. He still didn’t move, not wanting to upset her. He would still leave if she indicated that’s what she wanted but he didn’t want to leave her alone. Had Albus seen her like this before? Covered in her own blood? Or did she hide this from her brothers? His heart ached once more for her. He might barely know her but she was a witch and Albus’ sister. “May I come over closer to you?” He would allow her to set the pace and boundaries. He wouldn’t respect her decisions but he hoped that she would at least permit him to stay with her.

Ariana’s eyes widened in surprise and bafflement as Gellert asked her for permission to come closer to her. She didn’t at all comprehend why he would wish to remain in her company when he had only narrowly escaped the fate of a gruesome death at her hands, why he would wish to decrease the distance between himself and a damaged girl like her.

Did he not see that she was tainted? That there was nothing pure, nothing virtuous about her?

Even so, she intuitively knew that he would not heed her warning, especially after he had already disregarded it in a moment of acute danger but a few minutes earlier.

She couldn’t prevent her tears from spilling over when she inclined her head in a slow nod at last, bracing herself for the inevitable now that she had conveyed her explicit permission.

She wasn’t afraid of Gellert Grindelwald, of the charming wizard who had offered Albus comfort in a manner no one else would have been capable of, but she was frightened to death that she might take him from Albus the very instant her control over her magic inevitably slipped again.

Regardless, she couldn’t bear the thought of Albus’ resentment increasing in response to his dearest friend complaining about her rudeness and disobedience.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Gellert froze as the flowerpot shattered. He resisted the urge to reach for his wand, knowing it could only be seen as a sign of aggression. His heart was pounding, his pulse ringing in his ear as he gazed up at the hovering clay shards pointed at him, weapons to be used if she deemed necessary.

Is this what happened to their mother? Had Ariana….. “Ariana.” Gellerts tone was soft and gentle, careful to make no sudden movements. She was still assessing him as a potential threat - was she or was something else in possession of her? - He didn’t want to give her any more cause for concern. “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. I can leave if you would like me to but I’d like to stay here with you. If you’ll allow me?” He made the offer to give her some agency but he didn’t think that she should be alone. The violent tremors she displayed took his breath away and he winced as he saw the pooling of blood as she dug her nails into her delicate skin. Where were Albus and Aberforth? They should be here. Maybe you shouldn’t have broken in. He lowered himself further to the ground so he could sit down cross legged, keeping his hands visible to her and he placed them in his lap. His wand was within reach and he could cast a protection spell hopefully in time if she did indeed attack or lose control. He had a feeling Aberforth might be pleased by his demise but didn’t think Albus would be. He could see the pain and fear in her eyes. She wasn’t in control of her magic. She wasn’t trying to harm him. She was attempting to protect him, her gaze pleading with him to leave. What had happened to her? He had wondered before this meeting if she was a Squib but he could sense the raw power rolling off her. She would have been a powerful witch if she had control over her magic. Albus had simply said that she was ‘sick’ but this was something else entirely. No wonder the siblings had to hide her from the outside world. She needed protection.

Ariana’s heart sank at the realization that Gellert could not be persuaded to run – neither from the clay shards pointed at him nor from Ariana herself – and in her haunted eyes, the first tears welled up, threatening to spill.

She could not conceive a single scenario in which she would be forgiven for murdering another person dear to Albus, the first person who had brought a genuine smile to her eldest brother’s lips after she had killed their mother and forced him to sacrifice his precious dreams.

Sinking her teeth into her bottom lip and digging her nails even deeper into her flesh in an abrupt motion, Ariana attempted to appease her calamitous magic by offering her own blood as a voluntary sacrifice.

At the sensation of the first tiny incisions appearing on the skin of her thighs and her abdomen, Ariana’s shoulders slouched and her features morphed into an expression of genuine relief.

The clay shards dropped to the ground in unison, leaving Ariana with a dull ache and the sensation of being incomplete, though she paid no mind to her own discomfort, to the deplorable state of her white cotton dress now stained with her blood.

Gellert was still breathing, and in that moment, that was all that mattered to her.

She would not dare to approach him, so she could check him for injuries she had no means of discerning from her current position, yet she made a futile attempt at looking for them nonetheless, her eyes observant and full of questions as she did so.

Gellert’s mannerisms couldn’t have been more different from those of Aberforth, who had always chosen to exclusively focus on her misleading appearance whenever he looked at her, or from those of Albus’, who was constantly assessing the extent of her instability, the likelihood of a devastating fit.

What was Gellert trying to discern as he dissected her with his intelligent mismatched eyes?

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

magicblooms​:

Gellert knew he was being irrational. He had sent that letter … he checked his watch. Two hours ago and still, there was no reply. That wasn’t like Albus. He would usually have scribbled back at least 5 pages within the hour and included an invitation for tea or a walk given the hour of the morning. Perhaps something had happened? Aberforth was causing trouble again or his sister had taken a turn. Maybe Albus was gravely ill and unable to respond and if so, who was looking after him? He should go and check. The cottage was quite when he arrived, which was a relief in itself. No hurling abuse from Aberforth, no yelling from Albus that the stove had caught fire - again. It was a good start, but it didn’t quite ease his concern. He didn’t use the front door, instead slipping around the back to use the door that led into the kitchen. He could have apparated into Albus’ bedroom but wasn’t sure that level of intrusion would be welcome just yet. What if Albus was naked? What if Albus was naked? Gellert caught himself smiling at the thought before he shook his head to admonish himself for the momentary distraction. Pay attention! Albus could be injured or sick. He skipped knocking, opening the door and poked his head inside. It wasn’t locked so clearly someone was at home. Aberforth was probably outside with his goats somewhere. He was such a peculiar boy that Gellert didn’t have time for. He loathed the way he spoke to Albus but Albus had asked him not to intervene so he would respect his wishes. For now. at least. “Albus?” Gellert called out, moving through the kitchen. Nothing was on fire so that eased some of his worry. Some. “Albus? Are you home?” He was greeted only with silence. Maybe Albus had gone into town to run some errands and simply forgot to mention it to him last night. He was sure there was nothing untoward. He would go up and check Albus’ bedroom, otherwise he would leave and return after lunch to check again. He entered the living room, intending to go upstairs but he froze when he saw her. Ariana. He had ‘met’ her a few times but really only in passing. Aberforth was always so quick to scurry away with her and even Albus seemed reluctant to introduce them properly. He would have backed away silently but she looked up and their eyes met so it was too late. She was kneeling on the floor, looking distressed. He didn’t dare approach, not wanting to upset her. Where was Albus and Aberforth? Why was she alone? “Hello Ariana. I’m Gellert. Albus’ … friend.” He wasn’t sure if she would remember their previous introductions. He slowly crouched down in the doorway, offering her a smile. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

Albus and Aberforth would have entered the house through the front door, and Ariana would have heard them arrive in time for her to be able to conceal what would have likely been perceived as another fit by them.

Everything would have continued to be as close to the illusion of an ordinary life Albus had been able to maintain from the moment he had been forced to hurry back to their house and cast an abundance of spells so as to make their mother’s death appear like a tragic accident.

By the time he had locked Ariana up in their small pantry and told her to stay put until it was safe for him to retrieve her, the kindness and warmth she had known his eyes for carrying had morphed into a simulation of reassurance, cold and artificial even as he smiled at her.

It had occurred to Ariana then that he had not merely hidden her to protect her from the authorities about to investigate their mother’s death, but also to prevent her from committing an additional murder and drawing further unwanted attention upon their disgraced family.

Unlike Aberforth, Albus was no longer oblivious to the fact that she was dangerous and had adapted his behavior in accordance with her destructive nature.

When Ariana noticed a subtle shift in the air, a disruption in the interplay of light and shadow and her eyes flung open in immediate response, she realized how foolish she had truly been, and the color drained from her face as she regarded the young man with a look of naked horror.

A flower pot shattered by the windowsill even as he apologized and crouched down, the jagged shards it had been reduced to hovered in the air, ready to strike and kill the intruder from the outside the monstrous entity possessing Ariana’s body had assessed as a threat to its survival.

Gellert Grindelwald was not allowed to be here, nor was he allowed to discover what she really was.

A second clay pot shattered, then a third.

Albus adored his new neighbor, but could he be trusted not to expose them?

In a desperate attempt at preventing her twisted other self from launching its lethal attack, Ariana dug her nails into the flesh of her upper arms until she was drawing blood, and violent tremors coursed through her delicate form.

She couldn’t bear the thought of Albus despising her even more than he already did.

Please, run, she pleaded with her eyes alone, struggling to turn her magic inward again before it was too late.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

Confessions of a Wounded Bird

@magicblooms

Ariana Dumbledore was aware of the grave dangers of allowing herself to be seen by a person from the outside world, of allowing a stranger to step into her house, her cage, her sole remaining shelter.

In order for her to survive, she had to conceal her existence itself from Godric’s Hollow’s magical and non-magical inhabitants alike. She still remembered the hushed voices of her parents (back before she had killed her father) and of her mother and her oldest brother (after Albus had replaced their father as their mother’s closest confidant) as they had expounded on her future, predicting how she would spent the time left to her and how she would die.

She would have told them that she wanted to be buried in the underground, adorned with the thorns that had cut into her flesh and drawn the first droplets of blood on the day Ariana Dumbledore had vanished and her empty shell had returned to destroy the family she had left behind.

Symbols of purity were not meant for wretched beings like her, for beings that were tainted and had only recognized their innocence as something sacred after having failed to protect it.

Not for the first time did Ariana kneel on the hard floor, fantasizing about the end of her suffering, the day she was brave enough to liberate her brothers and herself with her eyes closed and her hands clasped in a silent prayer.

Her brothers wouldn’t discover her plans before she was already gone, not when she was cautious enough to remain alert and feign normalcy the very instant she picked up on the sound of approaching footsteps.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion​:

Gellert appearing in the doorway made Albus feel as if his whole world was tilting in its axis. Naturally he had been expecting to see him at some point and right now his heart roaring in his ears and he reached for the table to steady himself.

He was even more stunned at the gentle tone he used with his sister. Good morning Miss Ariana. He sounded so happy to see her as he joyfully offered to read to her. Had this been a typical morning before he roused? It wasn’t that unusual for Gellert to already be in their home even before he woke but he had never really spent much time thinking why. Having Gellert nearby had always been so wonderful, he’d never thought to question his presence. Had the two been so close and somehow, he had missed it?

Albus felt the stern gaze directed at him and he tried not to send one back. It would do no good for then to fight, after all he had come here to avoid just that. “I think you might already know who Iam.” Albus said carefully.

“I might,” Gellert confirmed, closing the distance between them with confident, slow steps.

Ariana wanted to plead with him and vouch for her brother’s future self, but before she could make an attempt at conveying that this Albus had arrived to help, Gellert had cupped her cheeks with both hands and kissed her on the forehead. His touch didn’t linger, and when he pulled away, Ariana was already overtaken by a strong drowsiness and unable to move a single muscle. By the time her knees gave in, she felt as though she were engulfed in a thick cloud of cotton, and in her sleep, she looked peaceful and content.

[the-mournful-phoenix]

The Turning of Nightmares and Stars

regretismyconstantcompanion��:

Albus swallowed back a soft sob as Ariana showed such gentle affection toward him. It was far more than he deserved, knowing what his actions had done and what his mistakes had cost her. “Oh Ari.” he closed his eyes, giving her hands a gentle squeeze. Had he truly been given this opportunity to somehow makes things right for them all?

Her silent questioning threw him only slightly because in truth, he hasn’t fully thought this plan through. He hasn’t even been sure such a powerful spell could cast, even by him. Now that he was here, how was he going to reach his younger self? And of course he couldn’t forget Aberforth and Gellert who might be even less welcoming of him.

No doubt his younger self would be a sleep. He had never been a morning person and Aberforth wasn’t much better. Gellert had been an early riser and he wondered if he was awake already next door or was this perhaps the one morning of the one night they had properly spent together? They’d fallen asleep together, awaking in a panic when they’d realised the time. At least he had panicked, fearful Aberforth or Ariana would discover them in bed together.

He looked back at Ari, seeing the blood on her nightgown and winced slightly. “Let me help you.” he said gently, waving at the wounds on her leg that started to heal underneath his magic.

Ariana had almost forgotten how gentle Albus’ magic had always been, how warm it felt to have it cast on her own body, and she closed her eyes, her lips parted in an inaudible sigh. She couldn’t have felt more protected in that moment.

She wanted to convey her gratitude, but the sound of approaching footsteps made her tense up immediately.

“Good morning, Miss Ariana,” Gellert greeted her cheerfully, “You’re an early bird as always; do you want me to read to you or-”

There was an abrupt shift in the air the very instant Gellert had stepped close enough to see Albus, and had Gellert been wild and merry before, Ariana found herself shivering at the intensity of his gaze, at this other side of Gellert she had suspected him of possessing, but never witnessed with her own eyes.

“And who might you be, sir?” Gellert inquired, and although his tone was impeccably polite, Ariana could tell that he did not trust this Albus from the future, and she couldn’t help but fear for them both.