the-kingpin-ramsey

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F A H C - K I N G P I N

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AU where people age until they reach 18 and then stop aging until they meet their soul mate so they can grow old together.

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friendship to romance tropes i can’t get enough of

holy shit i just realized i’ve liked you for the past 8274 years and i really wish i didn’t but i dO and everyone somehow knows about it except for you oh my god why is this happening to me

hey you’ve had a rough day so let’s get in our PJs and watch a cute movie together and cuddle bUT IT’S TOTALLY PLATONIC ALRIGHT

we drunk-kissed but you forgot about it and i don’t know how to act around you anymore wtf

we’re best friends and i’ve been in love with you for forever but i’m 3000% sure you just see me as a friend except why is this sexual tension happening rn

i will die protecting you. no question about it. i care for you more than anyone else in the universe and even though i act like you’re a pain in the ass i love you so much. you dweeb.

neither of us have kissed anyone before and what the hell may as well just get it out of the way. except hahah ha ha h a now i can’t stop thinking of ur lips why did i think this was a good idea ha ha ahah

we’re the Old Married Couple™ but lmao no we would never date each other. right? right?????!!!?

MY PARENTS WON’T GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT GETTING A SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND THEY’RE HAVING A GET-TOGETHER IN A FEW DAYS PLS PRETEND TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I’M HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU BUT IT SURE IS A NICE BONUS

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I always see that Tumblr post where people talk about having a timer that counts down until you meet your soul mate. But to be honest if I were to have something that leads me to my soul mate I don’t think id want a timer i’d want a compass.

I like the idea of being able to see the needle of the compass move around as my soul mate goes to the grocery store maybe thousands of miles away.

I like the idea of people taking a year off work to follow the little needle hoping that if they keep going they can find there other half.

Imagine widows whose compass needles are grey and broken and spin around and around continuously looking for there other half.

Imagine aromantic’s whose needle points at themselves or don’t have one at all or maybe they do but its blue and points at there friends when there close by.

Imagine polyamourous people with 2 or 3 needles on there compass and there big decision is trying to figure out which one to follow first.

Imagine parents worriedly looking at there childs compass that spins around day in and day out and they breathe a sigh of relief the day it stops spinning and starts pointing with determination to some hospital somewhere.

Imagine people going to shake hands and realizing that there needles are pointing diligently at each other and just laughing and smiling awkwardly at each other.

Imagine a being able to watch your needle move and follow someone who you love, who you never met, who you vow to one day meet.

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//ooc sorry guys, I know I just came back but I'm mobile rn and doing the whole family holiday things while I'm in my home town but I'll be back for replies

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Soulmate au where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well. 

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AUs for when your OTP are both assholes

You steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you’re hot AU

We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU

I saw you trying to hit the “door close” button in the elevator but I made it in and then I pushed every single button to make you later for work, but now we’re stuck in this fucking elevator as it stops at every single floor and I don’t know what to say other than “you started it” AU

I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore AU

I take my grades very seriously and you’re the lazy asshole who asks a ton of off-topic questions to distract the professor and I might be a foot shorter than you but I swear to god I’ll fight you AU

You tried to barge into a private conversation so I said something devastatingly witty and dismissive but you came back with something even meaner and more clever AU

Shouting match over the last Thanksgiving turkey at the grocery store AU

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ryanwithhorns:

[SMS: REX URBE] You should have just MADE it fun.

[SMS: REX URBE] Then they’d have no choice but to go along with it.

[SMS: REX URBE] It would be my very genuine pleasure to make a mess on your behalf.

[SMS: Skull Face] TRUST ME I’m not going through that shit again. I don’t know how any of us think that this crew is fit for any kind of ‘observatory’ missions. 

[SMS: Skull Face] Yeah, but anyway, I’m thinking we show ‘em our manners sometime soon. 

[SMS: Skull Face] We’re supposed to have another mission to see just where they’re keeping their shit before we set everything off but fuuuuuuuck I can’t do another one of those dude

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“Well if you accept my hand, I promise I’ll raise the child like my own. The only gamble with that is that you’ll have to live with the chance that it’ll be anything like me.” He shot a toothy glean his way, leaning an elbow on the top of the counter and reached over it to grab some of the fresh produce that they tried to keep stocked and fresh in the penthouse. “We could always raise it in the ranks. It could just learn the ways of the crew. Oh, can we name it Ray the third?”

… continued from here …  👻  @the-kingpin-ramsey “You know me, G-money, it could be anybody’s,” Ray says, shrugging casually. He’s sat atop the kitchen counter - as per usual - as he relays this life-changing information to his boss. “I’m the town bicycle. Ring-ring.” His onomatopoeia comes with a hand gesture for emphasis; his fingers come up and make a bell-ringing motion. It’s accompanied by his usual deadpan expression, void of all emotion but boredom. It comes up when he makes a joke that he’s especially proud of, and he’s pinning this one to the fridge.

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ryanwithhorns:

[SMS: REX URBE] That doesn’t sound fun at all

[SMS: REX URBE] Nothing for me to clean up, trying to keep me out of a job?

[SMS: Skull Face] It wasn’t! That’s what I was trying to tell everyone but they were dead set on the whole recon mission thing

[SMS: Skull Face] Oh trust me, I’m sure there’s a lot of potential for a clean up in the near future. I almost broke the faces on half the people there because they were talking so much out of their asses. I would be honored if you would help me take care of them next time

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“ I’m pregnant. ” 👻

Geoff gasped, a hand darting to his chest to show the shock in his reaction. “Pregnant? Under my roof? Who’s is it, you harlot?” He asked with a sly, teasing grin. 

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@ah-ragequitjones

“God Geoff please I’m a weak man. You can’t tell me shit like that. You’re about to make me pop a bone in the middle of the apocalypse.” He rubbed his stomach. “Just one good meal would be amazing. I could die happy after that.”

“God, don’t say that. I don’t think I could stand to lose you after all this. Lets vow to get a decent meal so we can see the day where we get another one.” He said in a tone that was hopeful beyond a doubt. “I used to be a great chef. Remember? Maybe I can catch us up a squirrel or something. Grab some plants that look like spices. Make a night of it.”

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@ah-ragequitjones:

“Alright fine you sentimental prick.” He joked and leaned up against the pillar in the rain. It wasn’t so bad. It was actually kind of calming. He wasn’t really ever able to get a proper shower while they were on the run so this was kinda like a nice alternative.

“What i wouldnt give for some hot coco and a fire right now.”

“Oh fuuuuuck, don’t even tell me about that right now. Some tea or coco or even something made on a stove that’s more than two primal ingredients.” His hands snaked up to his stomach where he gripped it achingly. What he wouldn’t give for some semblance of modern food. He walked over to the pillar where Michael was standing and smiled. “Can you imagine right now what it would taste like to have a brownie or something right now? Or ice cream?”

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Continued from here

@ah-ragequitjones​:

“There is when you can get your guts turned inside out by an undead old lady at any moment.” He said but he put his bag and attempting and failing to look reluctant he took a few steps out into the rain. He was trying to relax but considering the current situation of the world they lived in he never did. He wanted to keep moving, he knew they were never really safe staying in one place for too long and thiswas risky. Getting the wet on them and their equipment would slow them down later. But there was something about Geoff and the way he enjoyed the simple stuff that he couldn’t help but try to enjoy it with him.

Geoff shrugged his shoulders loosely at the warning. “I’ll look where I step then.” They had been out here on the run long enough. Long enough to start going crazy. Long enough to know that the old world was never coming back and that they knew that this was the new normal. He knew that he had to savor any moment that he found a flicker of hope or joy, and he found that he found it most when he was with Michael, out of danger. They were all that was left of their old group. Some left and never came back, Some were taken away from them one way or another. “Lets just enjoy one normal moment, alright? Let me have that?”

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Soulmates feel one anothers’ pain AUs

Meeting

‘I came to stop this street fight because that really big punch you just recieved made me scream at a cashier. Also are you injured?’ AU

‘This public toilet has a knuckle-shaped hole in the wall, is this anything to do with you? Because five minutes ago it felt like my knuckles were on fire’ AU

‘Holy shit you just got stabbed, you need help but also god my stomach feels like it’s exploding’ AU

‘I think you’re my soulmate because you’re biting your lip and mine’s hurting now’ AU

‘I just banged my knee on that table over there and you hissed in pain, dude I think we’re soulmates’ AU

Others:

‘Please don’t touch that flame, I’m/we’re in a public place and I don’t want to scream’ AU

‘Why do you insist on taking out staples by hand?’ AU

‘Please don’t hurt yourself, I can’t stand seeing you in pain and nor could I stand the pain myself knowing why I feel it’ AU

‘For the love of God use oven gloves next time, my boss was about to promote me when I swore in their face’ AU

‘I can feel your stress headache is everything okay?’ AU

‘I came to find you at work to tell you to stop knocking so violently on your coworker’s office door’ AU

‘Why must you get a tattoo whilst I’m trying to sleep?’ AU

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"It's the stupidest. Trust me. I've seen the widest variety of the sort and yours is pretty high up there." He stretched and sauntered up to Michael's side. He mostly wanted to make sure he didn't hurt himself in the process. His powers were still underdeveloped and wild. If he felt the need to persue them further, he might as well help him.

“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

“Come on dude it’s not like the stupidest plan. It’s just like a little experiment to see what the fuck we can actually do together.”

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this is 100% my aesthetic