the-infinite-sadness-327 - Tumblr blog

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Just translated it so my english speakers followers can enjoy these beautiful thoughts on death.

Carl Sagan’s wife on his death:

When my husband died, and since he was so famous and known by not being a believer, a lot of people came to me (it still happens to this day) and asked me if Carl (Sagan) changed his mind at the end and if he started believing in god. They also ask me frequently if i think I’ll ever see him again. Carl faced his death with a never-ending courage and he never tried to comfort himself with illusions. The real tragedy was that we knew we wouldn’t see each other again. I am not hoping to reunite with carl ever again. But what’s really wonderful is that for as long as we were together, almost twenty years, we lived with an intense appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death pretending it wasn’t a definitive farewell. Every particular moment in which we were alive and together was miraculous. But not miraculous in the way of something unexplainable or supernatural. That the mere random could be so generous and kind… That we could find each other just like Carl so beautifully wrote in Cosmos: “in the space’s vastness and in time’s inmensity..” That we could be together for twenty years. That something that holds me and has much more meaning. The way he treated me and i treated him, the way we cared for each other and our family, while he lived.

That’s something much more important than the idea I’m going to see him again. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But i saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.

Ann Druyan

Translated from Spanish by me 🤗.

Original:

Cuando mi esposo murió, como era tan famoso y conocido por no ser creyente, mucha gente venía a mí (aún pasa, a veces) y me preguntaba si Carl (Sagan) cambió de idea al final y se convirtió a una creencia en el más allá. También me preguntan con frecuencia si creo que lo veré de nuevo. Carl enfrentó su muerte con un coraje incansable y nunca buscó refugio en ilusiones. La tragedia era que sabíamos que no volveríamos a vernos. No espero reunirme nunca con Carl. Pero lo grandioso es que cuando estuvimos juntos, por casi veinte años, vivimos con una intensa valoración de lo breve y preciosa que es la vida. Nunca trivializamos el significado de la muerte fingiendo que no era una despedida definitiva. Cada momento particular en que estuvimos vivos y estuvimos juntos fue milagroso, pero no milagroso en el sentido de inexplicable o sobrenatural… Que el puro azar pudiera ser tan generoso y tan amable… Que pudiéramos encontrarnos el uno al otro, como escribió Carl tan bellamente en Cosmos, “en la vastedad del espacio y en la inmensidad del tiempo”… Que pudiéramos estar juntos durante veinte años. Eso es algo que me sostiene y es mucho más significativo. La forma en que me trató y yo lo traté a él, la forma en que nos cuidamos el uno al otro y a nuestra familia, mientras vivió. Eso es algo mucho más importante que la idea de que lo veré algún día. No creo que vuelva a ver nunca a Carl. Pero lo vi. Nos vimos el uno al otro. Nos encontramos el uno al otro en el cosmos, y eso fue maravilloso.

Ann Druyan

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IT'S YOU

It's you.

I know it.

I knew it.

I recognized you.

It's you.

Since many coincedences ago.

It's you.

Since before i found you.

I know it, love.

It's you.

...

I think i might have found the girl i have always been looking for. And i knew about her a while ago. We're so compatible it's insane. We call each other our mirrors. I think she might be the one... And i hope she is 'cause there's this voice in my head who won't stop telling me and i am so sure I'm gonna die soon... And I'm glad. But I'd like to love someone again before i leave.

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don’t forget about everyday miracles: tasty food, good music, cozy blankets, fun adventures, midnight conversations. the bigger picture doesn’t matter if you can’t appreciate the little pieces.

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I'll keep trying. I promise.

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Carl Sagan's wife on his death:

When my husband died, and since he was so famous and known by not being a believer, a lot of people came to me (it still happens to this day) and asked me if Carl (Sagan) changed his mind at the end and if he started believing in god. They also ask me frequently if i think I'll ever see him again. Carl faced his death with a never-ending courage and he never tried to comfort himself with illusions. The real tragedy was that we knew we wouldn't see each other again. I am not hoping to reunite with carl ever again. But what's really wonderful is that for as long as we were together, almost twenty years, we lived with an intense appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death pretending it wasn't a definitive farewell. Every particular moment in which we were alive and together was miraculous. But not miraculous in the way of something unexplainable or supernatural. That the mere random could be so generous and kind... That we could find each other just like Carl so beautifully wrote in Cosmos: "in the space's vastness and in time's inmensity.." That we could be together for twenty years. That something that holds me and has much more meaning. The way he treated me and i treated him, the way we cared for each other and our family, while he lived.

That's something much more important than the idea I'm going to see him again. I don't think I'll ever see Carl again. But i saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.

Ann Druyan

Translated from Spanish by me 🤗.

Original:

Cuando mi esposo murió, como era tan famoso y conocido por no ser creyente, mucha gente venía a mí (aún pasa, a veces) y me preguntaba si Carl (Sagan) cambió de idea al final y se convirtió a una creencia en el más allá. También me preguntan con frecuencia si creo que lo veré de nuevo. Carl enfrentó su muerte con un coraje incansable y nunca buscó refugio en ilusiones. La tragedia era que sabíamos que no volveríamos a vernos. No espero reunirme nunca con Carl. Pero lo grandioso es que cuando estuvimos juntos, por casi veinte años, vivimos con una intensa valoración de lo breve y preciosa que es la vida. Nunca trivializamos el significado de la muerte fingiendo que no era una despedida definitiva. Cada momento particular en que estuvimos vivos y estuvimos juntos fue milagroso, pero no milagroso en el sentido de inexplicable o sobrenatural... Que el puro azar pudiera ser tan generoso y tan amable... Que pudiéramos encontrarnos el uno al otro, como escribió Carl tan bellamente en Cosmos, "en la vastedad del espacio y en la inmensidad del tiempo"... Que pudiéramos estar juntos durante veinte años. Eso es algo que me sostiene y es mucho más significativo. La forma en que me trató y yo lo traté a él, la forma en que nos cuidamos el uno al otro y a nuestra familia, mientras vivió. Eso es algo mucho más importante que la idea de que lo veré algún día. No creo que vuelva a ver nunca a Carl. Pero lo vi. Nos vimos el uno al otro. Nos encontramos el uno al otro en el cosmos, y eso fue maravilloso.

Ann Druyan

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“It’s funny how warped everyones idea of me is

Think Im all that, that Im actually a good person

That I have my shit together

My coworkers see me as the always reliable one

While I lay in bed for days not answering phone calls or leaving my dark room

I just can’t handle talking to people, even the ones that count on me

Sometimes the darkness is easier than the light for me

No one mentions the cuts

No one comments on the scratches and burns and burns and bruises

All self inflected, all deserved

Sometimes I just wish I could die

These do not make me a good person

I promise you I am not a good person”

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I really needed this. I still think it's not fair. I did not choose to be here why do i HAVE to keep on going something i never asked for?

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

[the-infinite-sadness-327]

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

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Self-Portrait after Spanish Influenza, 1919, Edvard Munch

Size: 150.5x131 cm Medium: oil on canvas

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Self-Portrait after Spanish Influenza, 1919, Edvard Munch

Size: 150.5x131 cm Medium: oil on canvas

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fav.

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Hmm..

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“No, I’m not ok. But I haven’t been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though. I’m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough.”

— Clementine von Radics (via quotemadness)