the-eric-kim

[the-eric-kim]

Eric sniffles as he listens to what Denali has so say, leaning in without realizing when his adoptive son wiped his tears. "I forgive you." He chokes out "I forgive you even though you don't have to apologize. I forgive you and I am so proud of you. I'm so fucking proud of you, Derek." He says before pulling the other in for a tight hug. "I love you, my son." He says as he rubs his back and cries. "I love you so much. I only want the best for you. I only want you to be happy. Please be happy." He says before rubbing his back. "Derek....son....please talk to Joon. For me? For your family? I think you're ready, son."

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Magnus didn't know just how guilty his Adoptive son felt over Raphael's death all those years ago and he truly felt for the younger man who carried such a heavy burden all these years. Magnus stood, gliding over to the crying man and stroked his cheek affectionately. "Eric, My darling, you avenged our Raphael. I have never blamed you for his death. That was Sebastian alone." He says softly "Raphael always detested the life of a vampire and gave his life to save us both. There was nothing you could have done to stop it once he made the decision to die to save us. You avenged him, my son, and I am so proud of you for it. Raphael would be proud of you for it. Let go of this burden, Eric. You no longer have to regret the past anymore. You are forgiven, though you have no reason to apologize." He says before kissing his head and sitting back down. He turned to look at Denali when he spoke and could tell his Adoptive grandson was uncomfortable, seeing his once emotionless adoptive father so vulnerable making him vulnerable as well. He could see the scared little boy he and Eric met years ago in Denali's eyes hidden behind the same mask Eric once put up for centuries to hide his pain a d vulnerability. He knew why Eric chose the two of them to go last now. He wanted to help his son.

Eric wiped his face when Magnus sat back down and took a deep breath when Denali spoke. "Denali, I feel like I owe you the biggest apology of all and that's why I chose for you to go last." He says before walking over and dropping to his knees in front of him. "Because I was too late to get you out like Jay and I intended to, you suffered the same horrific abuse that I had to endure myself and I will never be able to live with myself for that. While I did try to make things right by having him banished to hell, the damage was already done and you put up so many walls that I couldn't get through to you." He says as he hangs his head, fresh tears falling. "Derek..." he says using his given name that only he and few knew or used since he started using the name Denali after his time in Italy. "Derek, I see so much of myself in you. That's why I chose to take you in as one of my own. I only hoped that one day you wouldn't end up like me, pushing everyone away and building a fortress around your heart but I was so blinded by avenging you, Richie and Marco for the things that your bastard of a father did that I failed to see that my actions, or lack thereof, caused just that. It was never about all the money he stole from me. It was never about him betraying me. It was about you and your brothers. It was always about you and your brothers. I got Richie out and Marco managed to avoid things with your father but you....you I have the most regrets." He sniffles. "When he disappeared with you, Magnus and I both searched the entire world for you. We even had Danny call in favors to the Seelie Queen to search for you too but the magic he was using to keep you both hidden was too powerful even for us to break through...until he slipped and we found you again. By that time he had already caused so much harm to you." He says "I'm sorry Derek. I'm so fucking sorry for being too late. I'm so fucking sorry for not doing more to get you away sooner." He sobs at his adoptive son's feet. "I don't expect you to ever forgive me but I will spend the rest of forever trying to earn your forgiveness because I am proud to call you my son. Despite everything you have gone through, I know that you are still a good person who has seen the worst this world has to offer. You love fiercely and take care of the people around you. You act like you don't care but your actions speak volumes, Derek. Your loyalty and your dedication to your family, Jay and myself included, is a gift." He says looking into his eyes. "Derek when I look at you, I don't see the monster you make yourself out to be. I see the scared little boy I met all those years ago just trying to survive. And I am proud of you for surviving. I am proud of you for taking my legacy and making it so much better than I ever could have. I am proud of you for finding love and having a family of your own despite all the hardships you've faced." He says "Even if it takes centuries for me to earn your forgiveness, I will never turn my back on you or fail you again because you are my son blood or not. I vow to you that I will always be there and I will always be proud to call you my son."

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Magnus was surprised when his son called him and asked him to meet at that pack leader's office to speak with him, but he was also proud of him for finally getting the help that he needed for his mental health. He had watched over the years as Eric struggled with the things he had gone through and tried to help the best that he could but even he, THE Magnus Bane, couldn't help everyone. He noticed Denali's car when he pulled up, making a note that his Adoptive Grandson was stalling and he thought that this could possibly help him too. He had also watched Denali struggle with his past and only wanted the best for the warlock/demon because despite his reputation, Magnus still saw good in him. He took a breath, head held high as he glides into the Alpha's office. "Joon, darling. Thank you for having us. Your office is lovely." The warlock says, kissing both of the Alpha's cheeks before moving to his son. "Eric, my darling, I am so proud of you for doing this. Has it been going well so far?" He asks his son, stroking his hair lovingly as he nods. Magnus took his seat as Denali joined them. "Denali. Lovely to see you too, grandson." He smirks at the other man before he took his seat.

Eric sighed when the last puzzle piece joined them, his Adoptive son Denali. He should have expected his cold demeanor, but it still hurt him to see his son hiding behind it still. "Thank you for joining me today. I saved the two of you for last because I feel like I owe the two of you the most." He says "I want to start off with an apology. I am sorry for everything that I have done, or haven't done;" He paused to look at Denali with that statement. "In this life to cause either of you pain. I have no excuses other than I struggled to come to terms with my own past but with the help of Joon and these sessions, I've finally found peace." He says as he takes a breath and turns to Magnus first. "Magnus. You took me in as your own without a second thought despite the fact that nobody else wanted me. I thank you for that. I want to apologize though." He says before taking a deep breath. "Magnus, I'm so fucking sorry for not doing more to save Raphael." He says as tears roll down his cheeks. "His death has been eating at me for the past 75 years and though I've come to terms with the fact it wasn't my fault, I can't help but feel like I could have done more. I was given power for a reason and instead of using it to help my brother I froze. I froze because he was threatening not only Raphael but you. I have hated myself for all these years because I didn't do more and you lost a son, I lost my brother." He says as he wipes his eyes. "Magnus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I failed Raphael. I'm sorry I failed you."

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Aera sobbed into Hagen's shoulder as their father told his story. "You're not a Monster, Appa. You're not a monster or worthless or unworthy or whatever else your mind is telling you you are." She says with a sniffle "You have always been an amazing father to us even of you were emotionally closed off. You raised me as your own even though I wasn't biologically yours like Hagen was. You never treated me any differently because to you, blood or nor, I was your daughter. You always had my back. Even when I got pregnant at 18 or when I gave up dance to be a aex therapist, you always had my back. I love you, Appa, and I am proud of you. I am proud to be your daughter."

Hagen was not the type to cry. He supposed it was something he got from his father. Only a few people had ever seen him cry because, also like his father, he kept his emotions close to his chest. Hearing his father bare is soul, Hagen couldn't keep his own tears from falling down his cheeks. "I've always looked up to you. Youve always been there for me whether it be when I was being bullied in school or overwhelmed because of the life of an entertainment manager, you were always there for me." He sniffles. "You inspire me, Dad. I know how hard it is for you to let your walls down and let us see the real you. And i know I can now too, because you can. I love you, Dad. And I am so proud to be your son."

Eric broke when he heard what his children had to say and for the first time he actually accepted their love, respect and admiration. He sobbed into his hands as he took it all in, the weight of their words hitting places deep inside of him that he had blocked off for years and healing parts of his broken soul much like his husbands and platonic soulmates did. In a rare move that he promised himself he would do more, he walked up to each of his children and pulled them into a tight hug. "I'm sorry it took so long to find you, son, but I am so proud of the man you became without me. I promise I will spend the rest of forever making up for the time I missed." He murmurs, kissing Gio on the head before moving to Richie. "I'm sorry that I was too late to save you and your brother from the things you had to endure because of your father. You are and always will be my son, blood or not, and I am so proud of the man you have become and how you care for your beautiful family. I will spend the rest of forever making it up to you and Denali, no matter what it takes." He said as he kissed his head and moved to Aera. "I never once thought of you as anything but my daughter, regardless of Danny being your biological father or not. I will always have your back and support you no matter what you decide to do in this life because your happiness is what I want most and I am so proud of you." He says kissing her head before moving to Hagen. "I am proud of you, son. I am proud of you and I love you. You can breath now, Hagen. You can breath and feel and be yourself. I will always be in your corner no matter what. Just don't be like me. Don't wait too long to let people in, let people see the nan you truly are. You can breath now." He says as he wipes his son's tears and moves to sit back down, thanking Joon for the tissue he handed him before wiping his eyes. "I have two more people i need to talk to after you leave and i think it might be my hardest conversations yet." He says, eyeing Richie who would know exactly who he was referring to. "I wanted to clear the air with all of you first and let you know that from now on, you all get the real Eric Kim. The good the bad and the ugly. I love all of you dearly and I am proud to be your father."

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Hagen worked alongside his father for years and had seen him struggle. He had been tasked on more than one occasion to pull him out of his studio to eat sometimes. He had wanted his father to get help and the fact he finally was made him proud of his father. "Hey Dad. We're here." He said as he sat next to Richie on the couch.

Aera wasn't exactly sure what was going on at first when she got the call to meet at Joon's office but seeing her Appa with red puffy eyes waiting to talk to them wasn't at all what she expected. She had never seen him so vulnerable and she eas actually looking forward to finally meeting the man who helped raise her that he hid behind the walls for so long. "Hey Appa. I'm proud of you no matter what." She said, kissing his cheek before sitting next to Hagen.

Eric let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding when all of his children, with the exception of Denali were in the same room. "I have been going to therapy with Joon for a few weeks now and part of the process is telling everyone about my past." He says "You're my children so I never wanted to burden you with my pain but I haven't been fair to any of you. None of you have met the real me. So I think in order for you to know the real me, you need to know my story." He says before telling them his story in depth, tears rolling down his cheeks as he bares his soul to his children. "But that's me, that's who your father really is. I hope you will still accept and love me as you once did." He says once he was finished telling them everything.

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Eric broke at the kind words from his platonic soulmate, truly letting them sink in for the first time in the centuries he had known the two Fae. "I still feel like I don't deserve your kindness and love, or anyone's. But I'm working on it." He sobs into Danny's chest as David rubbed his back. "Thank you....thank you both for always being here for me. Thank you for saving me all those years ago even when I didn't feel worthy of being saved. Thank you...for not leaving me behind like everyone else did." He sobs.

David rubbed Eric's back as he let out centuries worth of emotion against Danny's shirt. He was proud of his soulmate for finally being vulnerable enough to let them see this side again. "You don't ever have to thank us for saving you, Eric, or for caring and staying. We aren't going anywhere ever. I think I speak for us both when I say that knowing you has been one of the greatest gifts of our existence." He says "You saved me too, you know. When Yeunmin died I wanted to die myself but you pulled me back from that edge and gave me a reason to live and love again. So I should thank you. But now, now you need to make things right with your kids. They have never truly met their real father, only the shell that you chose to show them all these years. Go make things right with them. We are always here for you, darling Eric. Always and forever." He says kissing his head.

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Eric runs a hand through his hair and looks at his two platonic soulmates. They were the two constants in his life for longer than anyone else and he owed his life to them. "When Sebastian kidnapped me, he took Raphael as well. He had a warlock working with him that cut off our links to the outside world, that's why my emotions were muted to you both and you couldn't get to me." He says "He wanted Magnus's magic, so he used us in hopes we would turn on him. He tortured us both, Raphael more brutally than me because Raphael wasn't as powerful as I am. I was forced to watch has he used UV lights to burn off his skin little by little but Raphael still wouldn't budge. Magnus found us and tried once again to get us to turn on him. Neither of us would so he killed Raphael right in front of us." He sniffles, wiping at his eyes. "It was the first time I had ever lost control the way I did and I've worked hard to keep it in check since then. I broke out of my restraints and I burned Sebastian alive. He screamed and begged for me to stop, to pull back the flames but I was just so angry that he killed my brother, that he threatened my father, that he tried to use me. I felt nothing as I watched the light leave his eyes before his body burned to ash. I have nightmares about it to this day." He says. "I suppose after that the PTSD started getting worse and I shut down emotionally from everyone. I kept everyone at arms length and I felt like a monster for the longest time even though Sebastian deserved it."

David knows that telling them about what happened to Raphael was hard for him so he let him take his time and get everything out before he spoke. His heart broke for him, for Magnus, especially for Raphael but Eric was wrong about one thing. "You are and will never be a monster Eric Kim. You will do whatever you can or whatever needs to be done to protect the people you care about most. Yes, you lost control but Sebastian deserved it and so much more for what he did to you, to Raphael, to Max Lightwood and the countless other people he killed in his quest for power." He says before getting up and walking over to Eric, pulling him into a hug. "You are a good person, Eric. So good. You are fiercely loyal and you love with your whole heart. People like that can't be monsters. I'm just glad you're finally taking the steps to heal, chingu."

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Eric kissed all three of his husbands before they left and he mentally prepared himself for the rollercoaster of emotions that were his two platonic soulmates. He couldn't help but Crack a smile at Danny's entrance, extra as ever. He wouldn't be Danny if he wasn't extra. "I am finally ready to tell you the things I've hidden from you guys. I told Jay, Isaac and Arlo. You've been in my life longer than anyone so I think it's only right I finally tell you the rest of the things you don't already know about me." He says. "You both know about my past leading up to meeting you but I never told you about what happened with Raphael." He says.

David sat next to Danny after getting the call from Joon to come meet at his office. He had been waiting many centuries for this day to come, for Eric to finally get the help he needed and deserved after watching (and feeling) his platonic soulmate suffer in silence for so many years. "Take your time, Ric darling, I know how hard that point in time was for you. Raphael was very special to you and I know how touchy it can be talking about him." He says "Danny and I never pressed but we hoped one day you would finally come to us when you were ready. No matter what, Ric, we aren't going to look at you any differently or go anywhere." He tells his best friend. "We just want you to feel comfortable finally being yourself and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and let people in like you let us in."

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Isaac rubbed Eric's back as the other's spoke to him feeling the man shake with sobs under his hand but also feeling his love and the beginnings of acceptance through their bond. He waited until his other two husbands said their piece before he spoke. "Eric. I've known you a very long time, longer than almost anyone besides Danny and my brother. I watched you from the outside for years and saw how you struggled with the weight of your past but how despite it you still managed to show the people in your life how much you truly loved them even if you didn't seem to truly accept their love in return. Eric, your strength and compassion us what made me fall in love with you." He says kissing his head before continuing. "But Jay is right. I've never truly seen the real Eric Kim in all the years I've known you. Like Jay, I see glimpses here and there but you always pull back and retreat into yourself like you're afraid to show people the real Eric Kim. I've seen more of the real Eric today than I ever have in all the years I've known you and broken or not I love this version of Eric because it's real. This version is raw and open and finally ready to accept that he has people who love him and want to help him and I am so incredibly proud of you, Eric." He says softly. "Let us in. Let us help you move on and just be yourself and not the facade you want the world to see. We love you so much. Eric. We accept all of you, scars and all."

Eric was at a loss for words as he took in what his husbands had to say. He really let their words sink in as the rest of his walls came down and he finally accepted their love and compassion for him. He finally let them feel all of himself. Broken, raw, scared but so full of love for the three men currently holding him. "You have all of me now." He says softly as the last barrier broke and he let his husbands finally feel him. "This is me. This is the real Eric Kim, scars and all. Please be gentle with me and I promise I will be better for you. I promise I won't shut you out anymore. I promise things will be different. Jay, Arlo, Isaac. I love you with all of my heart and I am finally ready to accept yours." He says as their love washes over him and starts to heal his broken soul. "I want to make it right with everyone but I wanted to start with you because you three are my everything and I haven't been fair or real with any of you until now. The old Eric that hid behind walls is gone. I only hope that you will still love the real me just as much."

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Eric finally lets go of the emotions he had kept inside for so long once his husband came over and wrapped his arms around him, sobbing openly into the other man's chest as he held him. "I know none of you want to see me like this. I know that Magnus and Raphael never wanted me to be like this. I want the memories to go away so badly. That's why I decided to finally get help. To finally let you all in. Danny and David only know a little bit because they were by my side during all of this but even they don't know it all. I never told anyone about Raphael or what I did to Sebastian. Only Magnus knew because he was there." He sniffles as he wipes his eyes with the tissue that Jay gave him, feeling when Isaac and Arlo joined Jay to comfort him. "I just....I'm broken. I'm broken and I'm trying to put the pieces back together because I want to be worthy of your love and care. I've made so many mistakes. I fucked things up with a lot of people because I didn't want to accept that people actually care and aren't going to leave me behind. I just....I don't know how to fix it. I want to do better. I want to...I want to accept your love and your compassion instead of push it away because I haven't been fair to any of you. I love all of you with my entire being but because of my own burdens I never fully accepted your love in return because I didn't feel worthy. And God I messed up so bad with the kids because other than Magnus, I didn't exactly have the best role models. With Derek and Richie, with Aera and Hagen, with Gio. And yet they all still look to me for the answers like I'm worthy of their admiration. I don't see it but I'm trying to. I'm trying to be better for all of you , to all of you, because you all deserve better than someone as emotionally closed off as I have been all this time. I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry." He says as a few more tears rolled down his cheeks.

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Eric sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I....I fought a long time to prove I was worth something. To prove I was worthy of even being alive, worthy of having friends and family. I still....I love you, I love all three of you so much but I still struggle to accept that someone actually loves me. That people actually want to be here. I guess that's my burden to bear." He says before biting his bottom lip. "When Magnus and I were living in Brooklyn he adopted a young vampire named Raphael. I've mentioned Rafe and Max before, his children he adopted with Alec but Raphael....he's a touchy subject for us both. Rafe is named after Raphael." He says "Raphael was kind of a wrong place at the wrong time turned vampire. He was only 15 when he was turned and it was all because he and some neighborhood kids decided they wanted to play paranormal investigator and investigate this abandoned house on the block that happened to be a vampire den. Louis, the den leader, killed his friends but turned Raphael and Magnus took him under his wing while he was in transition." He says as he fiddled with his fingers. "Fast forward about 100 years to when Magnus met Alec. Alec's parents used to be part of The Circle which were shadowhunters with a mission to rid the world of all Downworlders. Basically anyone with demon blood so warlocks, Fae, shifters, everyone but nephilim. They were lead by this man named Valentine before they all got caught and branded as traitors to the Clave. Valentine had two children though. His daughter, Clary, had her memories taken young after her mother and stepfather ran away from Valentine after Valentine left Luke, his former Parabatai and her stepfather, to die after being bitten by a werewolf. Luke turned, most other members of the Circle committed suicide if they ever got bitten by a vampire or werewolf. Anyway, Valentine and Jocelyn also had a son named Jonathan that Valentine did experiments on while Jocelyn was pregnant with him. He would inject demon blood into him while Jocelyn was asleep. Jonathan....Jonathan developed powers as a child and turned out to be evil. Valentine faked his and Jonathan's death and Jonathan came back later using the name Sebastian." He explains. "Sebastian set his sights on taking Magnus's power since Magnus is the most powerful warlock in existence. His plan was to take down everyone close to Magnus until Magnus broke and gave it to him. He started with Alec's little brother, Max, who my little brother is naked after. Then when that didn't work he kidnapped me and Raphael and wanted us to turn on Magnus. His plan was to go after Akec next." He fidgets more. "Sebastian didn't count on Raphael and I being as loyal to Magnus as we were. Neither of us would budge and lure him to where Sebastian wanted us to. That's when he took Raphael's daylight ring and started torturing him with UV lights. He injected him with vervain to keep him from healing and repeatedly burned off pieces of his skin and sent videos to Magnus taunting him. Still Raphael refused to betray Magnus. Magnus finally had enough and showed up but refused to give up his power so Sebastian killed Raphael right in front of us. I snapped and for the first time in a very long time I lost control. I burned Sebastian to ashes and felt nothing as I watched him die. We tried to get Cody to bring Raphael back but Lady Fate deemed it his time to go so he couldn't. I couldn't save my little brother. Magnus blamed himself, I blamed myself, and I still have nightmares about that day." He sniffles, crying for the first time in a while as he spoke of the vampire he called his brother.

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Isaac placed a gentle kiss on Eric's lips before sitting down next to Arlo and Jay. Isaac knew a little about Eric's past but not very much, only the tidbits Eric let out over the years and the things his brother had told him. His brother, David, didn't tell him much though as he didn't want to betray his platonic soulmate's confidence and Isaac respected that and never pushed for more than David was willing to tell him. "Take your time, darling. We have all the time in the world. We only want you to feel comfortable enough to show us the side of yourself we haven't met yet."

Eric takes a deep breath once his husbands took their seat across from him. "I don't really know where to begin." He says, fidgeting with the string on his sweater. Fidgeting had become somewhat of a habit over the years when his anxiety was high but he had gotten better about not fidgeting as much over the years. "As you all know, I was born and raised in Daegu but left when I was 20 and never looked back." He began. "I was 6 when I came into my powers and it came out that my birth mother cheated on the man that I knew as my father with a demon. He never let me forget that I wasn't his son and beat me nearly every day until he found a way to dump me off on the high warlock of Daegu. My mother never did anything to stop him, calling me her biggest regret and saying she would rather die than have a monster for a son. The man I grew up thinking was my father was a nephilim and well....nephilim in Daegu had a deep hatred for supernaturals but made an alliance with the warlocks who wanted to rid Daegu of all supernaturals but warlocks and Nephilim." He says before taking a sip of the whiskey Joon handed him for a bit of liquid courage as he continued. "Minseok, the high warlock of Daegu, was an even bigger tyrant than the people who abandoned me. Because I was orphaned, he often made an example out of me. He would beat me in front of the entire clan, starve me, lock me away in a cell in his basement. He started letting other members of the clan take turns, some decided that just physical abuse wasn't enough. I was 12 the first time one of them touched me sexually, touching lead to...." he chokes out "I was molested and sexually assaulted in front of the entire clan. Not just once and not by one person, it was a repetitive thing until I was 16 or 17 years old. So...you can see why I'm not exactly a fan of PDA but I'm trying because I know you're not like that." He says before taking another sip. "I met a Fae names Jisoo when I was 18. At the time she was my light in the darkness I called life and even though we weren't soulmates, I fell deep and hard for her. I should have known the other shoe would drop when I introduced her to my only friend growing up, Kian. They started sneaking around behind my back and eventually she left me for him. What I didn't know until many many many years later was that she was pregnant with my child. Gio. You all knew when I found out he was my son." He says with a sigh. "After she and Kian ran off together I made my first charmed piece of jewelry to protect me and keep me hidden from the warlocks of Daegu. I ran. I ran until I hit Seoul but I ended up living on the streets. I did what I had to do to eat, to survive, until I met a music producer who helped get me off the streets and gave me a chance. But the flashbacks and nightmares plagued me. Every single day. I...I tried several times to end my own suffering. Tried burning myself alive only to still live, tried cutting myself, and tried hanging myself. I almost succeeded with the last one but Danny found me before it worked. Meeting Danny and later David made me feel whole for the first time in my life. I traveled with them for years before we met Magnus and he adopted me...then came Sebastian Morgenstern....." he trails off, preparing to tell that story but wanting them to catch up first.

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Long Time Coming

Eric didn't know where to begin when it came to therapy and trying to sort through his traumatic past. Joon had been offering to help for years but he always insisted he didn't need therapy, that he could handle his problems on his own. But when his self doubt and dark thoughts started taking over more and more despite being surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most? He knew something had to change. He wasn't being fair to his husbands, his children, his friends. He needed to let them in. He needed to tell them his truth. "I know we can't possibly fit all of the conversations I need to have into one session but thank you, Joon, for helping me. For helping me with myself and for helping me tell them." He says and the Alphs nods just as the first of many people came to speak with Eric. The first of many he needed to be honest and open with. "My loves." He says, greeting Jay, Isaac and Arlo with a kiss before sitting across from them. "I don't even know where to begin but I owe it to the three of you to finally open myself up to you like I should have a long time ago. I hope that once you hear my truth that you won't love me less for it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this point but I owe it to you and to myself to finally put everything out in the open as to why I am the way I am." He says. "Jay, you know a little but....there's a lot more. I hope you're ready."

[the-eric-kim]

Eric rubs Jay's back as he cried for their new daughter, giving the young teen a head pat as they signed the papers. "Aera has always wanted a sister. She and Hagen have always wanted younger siblings in general. I can't wait for everyone to meet Ri." He says as he strokes her hair. "Let's go, sweetheart. Let's go home." He smiles at the young teen.

3’s a better crowd!!

Jay had been wanting to adopt another kid as all of their other children were indeed all grown up, married with their own kids and so forth, meaning the house was a bit empty and lonely. He had talked to Eric on several occasions on wanting to adopt again once they got settled in LA as there were millions of kids in the system in California alone and his heart hurt for them. He got in contact with Eddie the social worker and now they were at a foster care facility looking at different kids of all kinds. He noticed a small girl all alone by herself, looking out the window as Jay tapped his husband and pointed. “Baby, her. She’s so beautiful I want to adopt her.” He says softly as he headed towards the small Human with everyone else trailing behind.

[the-eric-kim]

Eric couldn't help but smile as they got to know the young teenager, Rhiannon, and couldn't help but feel connected to her even though they just met. He wanted nothing more than to protect her and take care of her. "What's her story, Eddie?" He asks his husband's nephew in law as they filled out the paperwork to officially adopt her as their own.

Eddie got all of the paperwork done for Eric and Jay to adopt Rhiannon, sitting across from them while the orphanage staff got her things ready to go home with them. "Her parents died in a car accident when she was a baby, she was in the car. A shifter couple found her and took her in, raised her. Sadly they were killed about 3 years ago by a rogue shadowhunter and she has been with us ever since so she had supernatural knowledge and has the Sight into the Shadow World despite being human. As you know, once children hit a certain age they sadly are less likely to be adopted so I'm glad that you came today. She's really a sweet girl, smart and musically gifted too. I had a feeling you would both be drawn to her when you came to me wanting to adopt."

3’s a better crowd!!

Jay had been wanting to adopt another kid as all of their other children were indeed all grown up, married with their own kids and so forth, meaning the house was a bit empty and lonely. He had talked to Eric on several occasions on wanting to adopt again once they got settled in LA as there were millions of kids in the system in California alone and his heart hurt for them. He got in contact with Eddie the social worker and now they were at a foster care facility looking at different kids of all kinds. He noticed a small girl all alone by herself, looking out the window as Jay tapped his husband and pointed. “Baby, her. She’s so beautiful I want to adopt her.” He says softly as he headed towards the small Human with everyone else trailing behind.

[the-eric-kim]

Eric and Jay had been wanting to adopt a child for a while now so when Eddie finally set up an appointment to meet the kids in the system, he and Jay were more than ready. Eric would adopt everyone if he were capable but he and Jay agreed on one for now. They walked around meeting the different children and seeing which one they vibed with the most but Eric's eyes were drawn to the small girl by the window who looked to be no more that maybe 12 or 13. Eric had been a foster kid once in his life many many centuries ago, living as the foster child of the high warlock of Daegu and suffered at his hands. He had seen many children go through the same thing and wouldn't wish it on anyone. He was lucky when Magnus found him, adopting him as a young adult and taking him under his wing. He had always wanted to do the same for another child in the system. He and Jay lost their chance to adopt the Kim brothers, Denali and Richard, though they still watch over them as father figures, and he didn't want to miss his chance again. "I've been watching her too. I'm drawn to her. Let's go meet our future daughter." He says with a fond smile in his husband's direction.

3’s a better crowd!!

Jay had been wanting to adopt another kid as all of their other children were indeed all grown up, married with their own kids and so forth, meaning the house was a bit empty and lonely. He had talked to Eric on several occasions on wanting to adopt again once they got settled in LA as there were millions of kids in the system in California alone and his heart hurt for them. He got in contact with Eddie the social worker and now they were at a foster care facility looking at different kids of all kinds. He noticed a small girl all alone by herself, looking out the window as Jay tapped his husband and pointed. “Baby, her. She’s so beautiful I want to adopt her.” He says softly as he headed towards the small Human with everyone else trailing behind.