the-enamoured-witch

[the-enamoured-witch]

This was queued for september 27th last year, but never posted ;;

[the-enamoured-witch]

me when i was a child who had a crush on a girl and didn’t understand it or know what to do with it: pulls a handful of grass from the ground and sprinkles it over her head

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[the-enamoured-witch]

hey y’all, I’m moving to my new blog @lizzyplant . I’m keeping this up, but I’ve had it since around 2016 I think? so my humour and interest have changed heaps. I want to keep this up as a kind of archive. luv y’all, follow @lizzyplant !

[the-enamoured-witch]

tv shows that have featured full renditions of “the song of purple summer” but it’s the version that hasn’t existed for over fifteen years:

rise

chilling adventures of sabrina

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vogue just put three asian women on their cover!!! this is a massive breakthrough!!

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so apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually "severe psychological distress"

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dude

[the-enamoured-witch]

HAPPY 4⃣TH OF JULY🗓❗️❕ 🚏 🎉💥🇺🇸 A holiday 💃🏻🎊🎆 celebrating the founding DADDIES fucking Britain in the ASS🍆🍑🇬🇧 and gaining our inDOMpendence😠⛓and creating America the BOOTiful 🍑👌and THOT up the consTITution🤔📃 that's got u slurping Popsicles 🍡 😩👌 and DICK👅💦🍆, hanging out with your sluttiest friends👙 👬���, POPPING sum 💥fireworks💥 and PUSSY 👅🖖🔥and even getting some 😳🍆🍑💦? Shout out📢📣 to our POUNDING🔨😷 Father THOTmas👏🏻👏🏻 Jefferson 4🔢 writing📝 the 📜🍆DICKloration of InepenDICKS.💨🍆💦❗it's NO LONG (🍆🍆🍆)er Uncle Sam 👴🏻🔴🔵⚪️ but d(ICK)addy SAMMM 👱🏻 who's ready to PECK 🐤🐤🐤 that PUSSY 🐱 with his bAlD 🐣🖕🏿eAgLe 🐣🖕🏿Dont🚫 forget💁🏻 to set off💦🎆 those 🔥fireTWERKS 🎊 🎉 🎇 tonight🌃❗ 💕Make them explode🍆💦💦 in the sky🙏🏻 ❗💕Send this to your 1⃣0⃣ favorite❤ POUNDING🔨💪🏼 daddies😷. If you get 0⃣❌🚫 back, you a BITCHY😡 Brittish🇬🇧 HOE😂😂 If you get 0⃣5⃣ back❗🎇 you a 🔥Fire🔥 TWERKing😏🍑 Star🌟🌟🎥❗ You get 1⃣0⃣ back ❗❗you get all of 🍆💦Jefferson's Patriotic 🇺🇸DADDY🇺🇸 CUMMIES 🐳☔🍆 🍆💦💦💦❗❗

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“And I’m so utterly convinced that she carries a piece of me in her hands because I haven’t felt whole since that cold summer night.”

[the-enamoured-witch]

shameika was right

At the Nokia Theatre, Apple’s fans thronged round the merchandise stall. Her tour T-shirt features a drawing of a snail. Why, because it’s an extraordinary machine that carries its house on its back? Or because it’s taken her ages to come back?

She gives a nervous titter. ’No, well, the thing is, I love snails. Look …’ From her pocket she pulls a shell. She likes the fact that scientists don’t know how they manage to turn liquid to solid to liquid with their slime ‘for traction’. She likes the fact that they carry their homes. ’And I like the fact that they’re extremely vulnerable but then they’ve got this hard shell. And also, most importantly, I love when snails are around me.’ Apple smiles. ’The most calming thing to me is to have a snail crawling on me.’

Really? She nods delightedly. ’It’s like I’ve been put in my mother’s arms and rocked. I just feel really relaxed, hah hah hah!’ She is almost hysterical with embarrassed laughter.

’This guy I used to go out with, and we had this terrible fight. We were outside, and I was really upset. And I saw a snail. I picked it up, put it on my arm, and I carried on the fight with the snail on me! And I was OK! I could calm down.’ ~ Fiona Apple, Observer interview, 2006

[the-enamoured-witch]

tag yourself, shit gay people miss during quarantine edition

[the-enamoured-witch]

adding your moans to your song is such a move actually... when women do it of course

[the-enamoured-witch]

You know what? FUCK WORK  I’m going to walk around a CEMETERY while reading POETRY!

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Me, projecting onto a side character that shares one (1) characteristic with me

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donna tartt: *writes an entire cautionary book about the hubris of characters throwing a bacchanal and then going crazy, losing their friendships, falling apart and destroying the rest of their lives as a result of this decision*

me, immune to critical analysis: i want to throw a bacchanal

[the-enamoured-witch]

alexa, queue one direction’s 2013 seminal pop classic “story of my life”

If you have an anxious attachment style in romantic relationships, how do you avoid getting with someone with an avoidant attachment style (and going through subsequent hell)