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Why Leona Kingscholar is Relatable Actually.

(Musings on his Post-Overblot Speech)

All translation snippets provided by @/yuurei20 Thank you so much for your work!

!No heavy spoilers but a reference to Chapter 6!

Tagging: @comingyourlugubriousness @leonistic @anevilbunnyinthehat @jadecore @fate-muse-club-house @cyn-write @the-monday-witch @queen-shiba @michininja @alexandria-selina @savanaclaw1996 @ceruleancattail @hebidanshi @ice-cweam-sod4

Is it easier to just give up and take your place in line? Or to hope and fail miserably?

Sometimes, it’s not a choice at all because hope is sneaky.

Not gonna lie, I cried when I first read Leona's post overblot speech from the Twst novel. It brings to light so much of what we aren’t given in the game. Chapter 2 has deservedly been called the worst chapter of the story for a reason. Not only is it short, but we barely spend time with the titular character and his motives seem shallow at best.

So what if you can’t be “King?” Get over it.

But, Leona’s pain has always been deeper than that, stemming from a side of him that is self-deprecating, self-disparaging, and even at times self-sabotaging. Ever since I began to do research on his character I feel like I picked up on something that not alot of fans (at the time) didn’t. Leona is actually…very relatable.

Not only did this recent speech confirm things I had been aware of about his character. But more than anything, for the first time, I saw myself in Leona and it really settled for me why he had slowly become one of my favorite twst characters.

And isn’t that the beauty of media? As all of us teens and 20-somethings stumble into adulthood a lot of us find ourselves overshadowed and distant from the very families that were meant to nurture and protect us. Adrift from things that once seemed like accomplishments only to be displaced or outdone by someone who's better stronger, smarter.

It can push us to a point where the only way we feel we are heard is to perhaps “win” a different way. Whether it's due to our lot in life or situational we have to be cunning and work smarter, not harder. We may even have to employ underhanded methods or maybe even “cheat.” (I know in Leona's case it appears to be completely ego-based but let's look further.)

Going back a little, somewhere down the line Leona was let down. He was most likely trained under Falena to be “next in line” and likely he always understood he might never be King, even if Falena never had kids. So the prospect of “never being king” was not ALL that weighed on his mind. We often forget the second part of his qualm, he “was despised the moment he was born” and even if this is an exaggeration we see it in action by the servants in the flashback and how Kifaji deals with Leona in subtle but disparaging ways. (Better than Zazu's attitude of Scar but IMO not much better.)

Leona likely was never fully accepted by his support network, and so in his young eyes he never “had a place" and was never "good enough."

And then, after Cheka came into the picture, the attention that he may have received for his smarts and wits likely disappeared in favor of the new prince.

No longer was he even “Falena’s genius, but intimidating little brother” he was just “2nd prince” now. All the years of studying, poring over books to serve his country, likely running circles around his peers and even adults, wasted. And now, what does he have?

A distant father, who is ill. (Leona didn’t even bother to visit him during the Tamashina-Mina event.) A mother who is likely equally distant or passed. A brother, who is distracted and somewhat toxically positive, who is also very busy being King. A palace of attendants that talk behind his back or are afraid of him. A caretaker who was strict, harsh, and disapproving of his way of speaking, demeanor, and personality. Based on how he speaks of his childhood it is likely he had no friends his age.

Then you have Leona, who is so smart and likely sensitive with an inferiority complex on top. At this point, I imagine he is frustrated and begins to believe everything is pointless. And so, he is left to rot at home with no ambitions, quickly becoming disenchanted with palace life and the carefree traditions of the Sunset Savanna.

Currently, from the Tamashina-Mina event, we can surmise that things in the country are not going in a way Leona approves of. Likely even when he has suggested changes in the past, his ideas were shot down. Being someone who is burdened with such intelligence and thoughtfulness, it was always obvious to me that Leona was an over-thinker. And so with that, we enter the post-overblot speech:

I grew tired of thinking, so I decided to enroll at Night Raven College, though I had no interest in it. I knew I was just running away from the pain, but my heart felt lighter, nonetheless.

If something is far away enough, you cannot long for it.

The intensity of the sun, the scent of new leaves, the damp wind of the rainy season—it is so far away that it’s nothing but a blur, from here.

The restlessness dulls, and the pain slowly numbs. But, at some point, even that started to change. A new pack was formed, and with it, new despair.

Like Scar, it always made sense to me that Leona was best at seeing potential in others, it's arguably his greatest strength. What makes a better leader than a Chessmaster who can utilize every "piece?" Other Dorm leaders may criticize Leona for his underhandedness, brashness, or laziness, but in Savanaclaw he is no doubt adored. A “King” of sorts of his very own found family. A place to belong, and he didn’t wanna let them down.

‘Help us,’ they said. ‘You’re the only one who can do it. Please. Just as expected of our Housewarden. Our king.' As king, I cannot let the pack starve. I knew that, but I also knew that Malleus cannot be defeated head on. I had to come up with a plan to take him down and win, by any means necessary. Anything to win. To win. I want to win. No matter what, I want to win.

He was done playing by the rules, after all where did that get him? And so Leona will do anything to win, persistence. And despite his lazy demeanor, he exemplifies his dorm's spirit.

Deep down, Leona wants what he wants so badly he has to trick himself every day NOT to care beacuse: he cares so much. Just as he cared about his country at one point he cares about his pack, those who love and adore him for who he is. Flaws and all. (Ruggie I believe sees this over time, but I could write a whole nother thing about their relationship why it's so important, and why so many people misinterpret it.) He has a soft spot for his underclassmen especially, he wants everyone to live up to their potential. And deep down, he wants the same for himself…but he’s scared. He’s been burned before.

When I realized that the plan to remove Malleus had failed, suddenly, I understood. That everything is pointless.

That the future throne I desire does not exist.It didn’t bother me as much as I’d thought it would. It's a fool’s errand to strive for something that cannot be obtained. I want to forget it all as soon as possible, and be at ease.

Leona knows he’ll never “be a King”, but that’s not what he’s after, it never was. It’s symbolic, he wants to be adored, looked up to, respected. And the fact that he accepted this defeat so readily…it hurt to read. There’s even a part in the game where you can sense his whole heart wasn't in the later stages of the plan. It’s almost like he knew it would fail, and he was only playing along for his dorm. That’s why he was able to flip so easily come overblot.

That and this attitude to me, reeks of depression: giving up on things that could make you better because the feeling of apathy and sorrow overtake you.

And as a fellow “burned-out gifted kid” (and someone who is neurodivergent) it resonated. After all, it’s always been said: “You could do it if you just try.” But that's the thing we do try, he did try and it got him nowhere.

Being talented isn’t always enough.

But the pack spoke eagerly about the future, with sparkling eyes. That alone is terrifying. It's not their expectations that scare me.

I’m scared of myself. Of how pathetic I would be if their words inspired me, so that I am never able to give up hope.

He’s scared to care to constantly be in the limbo of trying and failing. The idea of never living up to “your potential'' is crushing after all, especially when your someone who is constantly told how “talented and smart” you are despite constantly failing or coming in 2nd. You begin to question your skills and your worth and eventually it makes you feel worthless. That and this man wants to be wanted, to be needed, to be admired, He craves it but at the same time he’s afraid of it, because of how this little bit of admiration has changed him. Made him soft, made him believe it was possible to win.

‘Weren’t we going to turn the world upside down together!?’ ‘You could take on Diasomnia, if you actually tried. I still remember that play you did three years ago!’

Somewhere in my heart, there's still the lingering hope that, maybe, I can still do it. It's an unbelievably optimistic, sweet thought, filled with wishful thinking.

Ruggie, Jack, and the others all talk about these foolish dreams that will never come true, but in the end, I'm just as much a fool as they are.

I have to think a majority of the time, Leona forces himself to be apathetic. That’s his armor. “If I go out of my way to disappoint people as soon as they meet me, then I won't have an expectation to live up to.” Most of the time he's fine to be seen as a lazy asshole, but sometimes it gets to him.

I'm not strong, I’m not wise, and I'm not loved. Is that who I am?

I can't accept that. That's the one thing I do not want to admit.

How many times have we all told ourselves this? Leona is trapped between a rock and a hard place, he wants to roll over and rot, be content to waste his afternoons in the gardens sleeping. But, he can’t seem to stifle that bit of pride and ambition he still has in himself. Savanaclaw Persistence. (™) And he certainly doesn't wanna admit that he cares so much about something. After all, he claims to be so “logical” and unburdened by sentiments.

But, he’s not, deep down he's the opposite.

I'm utterly fed up with how unreasonable I am.

Don't make me think that there might be a chance. Just let me believe that there is no point in having expectations.

I am tired of struggling and suffering for things I cannot attain. I hate knowing how insignificant and boring I am.

It is interesting to see a more self-conscious side of Leona because you would never get that on the surface level, someone who is presented as so cocky and self-assured.

I always had a feeling that he was a secretly self-deprecating person. Holding back as much as he does with his skills and emotions is a form of self-sabotage after all. He could be at home helping Falena and his country but he’s not. He's held himself back because he's afraid to care, to be invested again. Instead, he gets in his own head about his worth. “They’re better off without me.” he sneers to Kifaji, his caretaker in the Tamashina-Mina event.

And yes, logically, he doesn't have to be the best to be loved, admired, or successful. But, because of the expectations he puts on himself (echoed by the expectations of those around him), he feels utterly miserable when he can’t make those impossible “dreams” come true. So, why even try?

There’s another snippet from his overblot transformation that really stuck with me.

Yuuya’s POV: And yet he still takes a step back, away from the reaching hands. It is the first time that Yuuya has ever seen Leona look afraid. One person’s hands are nothing but skin and bone, while another’s are red and sunburned from training. All of them are clinging to him, pleading for his help. Resentment. Expectation. Longing. It would hardly be surprising for him to be overwhelmed by it all.

But what seems to frighten Leona is not the pressure—enough to crush him—but something simpler. It is the Savanaclaw students themselves, right in front of him. Hands that never stop struggling no matter how many times he shakes free. Eyes filled with hope. Voices that call him Housewarden. With each and every one, Leona' expression contorts anew.

But, let’s go back to his overblot speech:

People say I should try. What else can I do? I've already given it everything I have.

I think of all the characters in the game who criticize him and call him lazy, and even those who justifiably call him out on his bullshit. They have no idea what's really going on with him.

And that’s it. What if...he has tried and he’s always been "just not good enough?" First, back at home and now in Savanaclaw. He’s…tired.

And I guarantee that he feels alone in this limbo of apathy and frustration. Besides, maybe Ruggie I doubt he has anyone to confide in. And judging by how much Leona keeps people at arm's length I doubt even Ruggie fully grasps his point of view. (And Ruggie has his own shit to deal with anyways.)

I’ll say from experience, that when those around you confirm the notion in your head that you “could” be the best if you “just tried” is one of the most frustrating feelings in the world. It feeds into this toxic negative feedback loop where all that well-meaning praise causes you to put more pressure and “hope” on yourself. And this is surely the case for Leona.

Maybe what I should be striving for is the strength to give up. And that sounds like the most painful thing of all.

Ah, life is truly unfair.

So there’s that question again:

Is it easier to just give up and take your place in line? Or to hope and fail miserably?

I don’t know about you but, that’s just...so fucking relatable. It’s a dark and existential question for all of us. But, what can we really do about these feelings?

To echo the sentiment that Leona gives to Jamil in Chapter 6 I think the key is to not hold yourself back and get hung up on the skills of those around you. Fight to not stay stagnate in your place in life . Do what is best for you and try your hardest to keep that spark.

Leona basically says to Jamil: “You’re not like me in one way.”

It’s the hope! It's that spark! Jamil is not as far gone. In Leona's grumpy-old-man-way, he’s telling him to not be like him: stagnate, bitter, hopeless. All this, because he sees himself in Jamil.

Leona has given up hope that his life will ever be anything more than it is. And the tournament was the nail in the coffin, so to speak. But, for someone who is still young, that's....really sad.

I’m glad we at least get hints this may have improved. After all, it is shown that Leona is in fact doing his internship at the Sunset Savana. (He claims it's for selfish/lazy reasons but it's quite the opposite!) Maybe he's tired of wasting time and has a bit more self-reflection these days.

In conclusion, if we’re gonna learn anything from Leona it's to find your strengths. We all have strengths after all even if you don't belive that. Try not to worry about how other people do things, just don’t give up on yourself, and cheat yourself of experiences. And don’t get to the point where caring is scary. Roll with the punches and be persistent in your goals.

Life is horribly unfair, and we all have battles we fight inner and outer. But, hopefully...it doesn't have to be all miserable run. After all, there are those who rely and care for you. Don’t force yourself into apathy but rather the idea that everything passes, changes constantly and nothing stays the same forever.

Thanks for reading! Sorry that this got more…existential than I really wanted but I've been through alot of shit recently and this man really got me crying in the club for real this time.

Needless to say, it all really struck a cord for me and I hope that this might too.

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