the-art-of-being-idiot - Tumblr blog

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

Today,

In the first light of the morning,

I realized that what I had thought was a home was, in fact, a house of cards, with nothing around and no sky above.

I was robbed of any possibility of experiencing even a glimmer of happiness.

As quickly as she arrived,

She is now gone..

Forever..

Taking with her another monumental piece of my shattered heart.

This is the closest i have been to be a parent.

And yet..

Here im running from the early hours just because i heard her calls screaming from distances..

That voice rumbled my world..

She was calling me for help..

No one taught me how to help someone in need.

No one taught me how to be a parent.

And yet, here i am..

Passing all cars..

Breaking all the rules..

Going above and beyond the red lights so i can reach her.

A tear drop from her eyes when she saw me lamenting ..

I was crying like i was watching all my sins flashs before my eyes..

She was looking at me like she was blaming me for not being with her in her last hours..

So she can tell me how wonderful our days were.

And how hard she kept that secret deep down so she can spend more time with me.

I thought i was ready for death.

No one is ready for death..

And yet..

Here im facing that scene again.

Someone is going forever and we'll never gonna meet again..

Ever..

The anesthesia went through my vins before her's stopping my consciousness from taking a choice of dilemma..

Either to let her go or to let her suffer..

What i thought it was a bright light coming from the end of the tunnel, was indeed, a frantic train coming on in my way..

The world was waiting for my word..

I couldn't say yes..

I couldn't let her suffer..

Then.. the poison comes to tattoo my eyes black..

Samsa is gonne..

A joy left this earth to make more room for pain..

Gone forever and never coming back..

She will be in heaven..

And im going back to the oblivion.

She was one of those, blessed with soul of an angel and a touch to make me cry.

My love for her is an anger..

It will never set free..

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

Tonight..

I'm lighthouse.. still not home though..

But important enough to guide people in their destination..

Im here to stand against the blankness of the night..

Against the tsunamis of the self doubts..

Im here to exist.. AS I AM..

IM HERE TO RESIST..

THE INFINITE HORIZON OF COURAGE

I'll scream it until the world turns deaf

I'll painted it on all of the WALLS

I AM HERE...

Im a center which everything spins around..

Im the melody of life ..

Im the root note and the perfect fifth..

Im the fire that burns dreams to makes them reality.

Im that viaduct hanging between words and mind, accomplishing and speculation,

between home and destination.

hope next door opens up a whole new world..

Hope that next drop of acid will be your next ULTIMATE trip.

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

I sometimes wonder what people gonna write on my gravestone ?

Does that really matter then ?

Does that really matter now ?

Like if they gonna come back and read it..

But at my funeral release ballons in instead of tears..

Plant a tree above my head..

Sing my favourite songs.

{ High hopes - Pink floyd }

{ Like a stone - audioslave }

And give my heart to children..

I swear.. he is innocent..

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

Nevermind if i tell you who i am..

Or what i used to be..

Because neither of us knows what i've become..

Neither of us knows who has quite the other..

Me or home..

What you may see..

A guy following a dream.

What i see..

Chaos.

And what may is really happening..

Another random life.

The question is..

Which one is the truth ?

Maybe none of them..

Maybe all of them..

But i'll fake until i quite you just like i did before..

I've always believed in you..

Just like the religious people do..

You were my favourite imaginary friend..

Emptiness is what you fear..

Expressionless is what you feel..

So go back to sleep boy..

You may dream about another word..

Where i'm less fragile and full of hopes..

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

Headed to my place biking..

Wind, alcohol and life were all against me ..

they wanted me down and they did ..

Just couple of scratches and some drop of bloods..

But the rain was there to cover the crime scene..

To wash me from all my sins and the dirt from my dignity...

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

Songs, people and time passing by while i was waiting on this stairs wondering if they can take me away up to heaven..

Wondering if i would feel home there..

Oh master writer..

Do you still here ?

Oh master writer..

Why im here ?

Tell me that the reality is better then my dreams..

Tell me that home ain't that far..

And sooner or later summer is coming back again..

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

After a long day..

Two panic attacks..

And gallons of sweat..

I was sitting in the bathtub wishing if i could swim away..

Wishing if i could start from the beginning again..

If i could move to the dark side of the moon..

Maybe i could shine..

Maybe i could find my way to the starts,

Just maybe ..

Or maybe a six feet under my bad can make my problems completely disappear..

There's something broke and it'll never be healed..

There's something wrong and i can't figure it out..

And this equation is holding a lot of imaginary numbers..

With the time passing by ..

You get use to live on this island..

The desolation becames a part of your peace..

A part of freedom..

A blessing and a curse..

Two faces of the same coin..

[the-art-of-being-idiot]

Life hits hard once you face it again..

Back from a long journey in the east..

To start a new long one in the west..

But, no escape this time..

Depressing goes and back..

Comes in waves..

Slowly with melody..

Takes you by the hands..

To the bottom of the ocean..

Submerges you until you drown without knowing..

But that's a different story for another night..

Tonight is about fears..

Fears of making decisions..

Fear of regret..

Fear of normalcy..

My life looks like a debut of unfinished letter ..

Two sentences with no meaning..

With no title..

With no adress..

You stuck in this two lines..

You don't know what's next..

Oh master writer..

Please take the pen from my hand..

Oh master writer..

Make the rest of my letter as simple..

As meaningful..

As fast..

As you can..

Oh master writer..

Help me to explain what's on my mind..

Do you hear what i hear ?

They're saying this place is a no man's land..

But who's gonna carry all this mistakes?

They're saying this winter will never be gone..

And from now on,

You will walk with all this burden on your back..

But im sick and tired..

And my legs can't hold this onus anymore..