the-andromeda-collective

[the-andromeda-collective]

genuinely insane how difficult it is to participate in your own life

[the-andromeda-collective]

What they don't tell you about DID is that almost everything is just vibes. Literally just vibes. System mapping, inner world, knowledge about alters in general - vibes.

[the-andromeda-collective]

I mean surely we all grew up feeling like there was a wrongness inherently deep inside us that will endure for the rest of our lives

[the-andromeda-collective]

On Isolation

[the-andromeda-collective]

I love pretending to be normal in social settings bc it’s like how long will it take until they find out a screw is absolutely loose. how long can I keep this going for

[the-andromeda-collective]

Sorry, my brain says I'm not allowed to have these

in of body experience

[the-andromeda-collective]

It’s interesting how there are at least 2 types of “I don’t remember that.”

1. Not remembering until the memory gets triggered/ you are confronted with evidence, and then you do remember.

2. Absolutely no evidence will bring back the memory. The memory does not exist anymore. That wasn’t me. Nope. Didn’t happen.

And then there’s “I have been told about this, and while I do not remember it, I know that it is factually correct. How do I know? I don’t know.”

I don’t even know what my point is, it’s just interesting to think about. Memories are weird, dissociation is weird. The way the highly traumatized young mind deals with memories is weird.

[the-andromeda-collective]

I was thinking about blackout amnesia and switching the other day, and about how, for us, it’s not like “I close my eyes while laying on the couch, and I open my eyes and I’m in bed”, but more like “I suddenly realize that I’m in bed but I don’t remember ever having gotten out of the couch.” And it can be a delayed realization.

Just as an alter switching in can realize belatedly that they’re fronting. Instead of immediately being like “oh, I switched in, I’m *blank*, I’m fronting now”, an alter may have fronted for a while, and randomly go, “oh wait, I’m *blank*! How long have I been fronting?”

I don’t know how common that is, but I figured I’d mention it.

[the-andromeda-collective]

"Your alters are all a part of you."

We're all parts of a person that could be. Hell, maybe even a person that should have been.

But they are not a part of me.

I'm as much of an alter as they are.

I have parts in me, as in, I have moods and tastes and goals. Those part are not alters.

Alters are their own separate entity, although we are all parts of a dissociated potential whole.

I am an alter. They can't be parts of me if im also a piece of the puzzle.

Edit: I will delete (both sides of) any arguments, unless they are respectful on both sides. By respect, I mean debating against points and not the person you're talking to.

[the-andromeda-collective]

hello sysblr. please help me out!

can you all tell be about your experiences with emotional influence and emotions 'bleeding through' from another part/alter?

i had an experience recently that is making me think again.

[the-andromeda-collective]

Some points to be learned from this article:

A massive analysis of 1.5k+ studies contrasted the different theoretical models for DD & concluded that DD are posttraumatic in nature. 

There are no clinical studies that support the iatrogenic, sociocognitive, or fantasy models.

DID is a posttraumatic childhood onset disorder.

DD patients are at a huge risk for suicidal and self-destructive behavior.

DD patients have been found to have the highest rates of suicide attempts in many studies. Despite this, they are often overlooked in suicidality studies.

The lack of adequate treatment and recognition for DD is a major public health issue which is leading to substantial human and societal costs.

“By the time many DD patients are correctly diagnosed, they are demoralized and have suffered substantial secondary losses from years of unproductive treatment, hospitalizations, suicide attempts, disfiguring self-harm, disability, and careers as chronic ‘treatment resistant’ patients.”

“A major public health effort is needed to raise awareness about dissociation/DD, including educational efforts in all mental health training programs and increased funding for research.”

[the-andromeda-collective]

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

[the-andromeda-collective]

The tools that worked while you were surviving are usually not the tools that work while you’re healing. It’s okay if you struggle with the change. Be patient with yourself as you figured it out and show yourself compassion.

[the-andromeda-collective]

I gotta go Cecil Palmer mode and start saying “And now, the weather” before listening to any song. I think becoming him could fix me.

[the-andromeda-collective]

So we definitely need more positive representation of DID, but you know what would be funny? Mildly inconvenient representation of DID.

Oh the world is ending and you need to know about this one specific thing? Yeah I have a guy for that but he doesn't feel like fronting right now

Sorry what's happening rn is this the bad guy? Yeah I just switched in idk what's going on

I know you're dating one alter but we're currently co-con with another alter who hates you so idk how I'm feeling rn

And just who do i think I am? It's funny you should ask that I actually don't know right now

[the-andromeda-collective]

hello! when u have did or osdd how do u deal with the reoccurring denial that your alters are just mood states or normal singlet multidimensionalness of identity that you’re just misidentifying as alters? 😵‍💫 what can be said to prove to yourself otherwise? are there any sources/explanation on the differences between the two things (alters vs normal singlet variation of identity)? I saw your post on things that were actually did but u thought were normal.. and I was wondering if u had anything else related to say related to this topic?

For me, I eventually came to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter if what I'm experiencing are "alters" or "mood states" (or something akin to that) because ultimately it doesn't really matter if they're "truly" alters or not, what I experience is dissociation and a disconnected sense of self (among other things). Instead of trying to ascertain if what I'm experiencing is an alter or a mood state, I've found it more useful to just observe myself and my experiences. By noting things down that are actually observable, I can start to spot patterns and draw conclusions that way- and also keep an open mind that whatever conclusion I come to may not necessarily be fully accurate or correct.

Two analogies come to mind for myself- the first is that of stars and constellations. In one area of the world, we may draw shapes in the stars in one particular way. In another area of the world, we connect them differently. Are either of these patterns more correct than the other? No, we merely see different patterns in the same night sky, and it doesn't mean one is more or less correct than the other. The second analogy I have is that of scientific models- science is ever-evolving after all. The models we had hundreds of years ago may no longer hold up in current day due to new information and discoveries. With each new bit of research and observation of the universe around us, we grow closer to understanding how this universe functions and thus we need to change and update our models are we learn new things. Does this mean our old models were wrong? More often than not, they weren't wrong so much as they were incomplete- and in either case, it merely means that we now have a better understanding of the world and the universe around us.

Unfortunately I don't have any papers or research off the top of my head that can differentiate between alters in a dissociative system vs singlet "parts of selves". I'll post this ask either way, in case any of my followers can provide anything for you, anon!

[the-andromeda-collective]

dear systems,

— its okay to have inconsistent amnesia barriers.

- its okay to not recall times when you were fronting.

- its okay to have full amnesia blocks sometimes, and emotional amnesia other times with no identifiable pattern.

- its okay to not have amnesia between switches sometimes.

— its okay to not have gatekeepers.

- its okay to not know if you do or do not have any gatekeepers.

- it is okay to wish you had a gatekeeper.

— its okay to have no control over switches.

— its okay to have no communication.

— its okay to feel upset that youre a system.

- its okay to feel frustrated that these things are out of your control.

- its okay to not be making any “improvements” in communication or functionality.

- its okay to be angry.

— its okay to be scared.