the-alice-of-hearts

[the-alice-of-hearts]

languages that don't distinguish between formal and informal you are missing out on so much petty drama. my grandparents have two neighbours who once got into a huge fight over something honestly pretty trivial, so neighbour A said he was going to revoke neighbour B's du (informal you) privileges. neighbour B was like "okay but can i use du one last time?" and neighbour A was like "yeah go ahead", and neighbour B said "du arschloch" (you asshole). incredible.

[the-alice-of-hearts]

The idea that Bruce Wayne would be MAGA because he’s a billionaire is particularly funny to me. Because the guy who lost his parents to gun violence and now hates guns would definitely be maga. Or how about the guy who has 8 kids two of which are illegal immigrates one of which is Chinese. How about the guy who adopted a poor homeless kid from the worst part of town after said kid stole from him. Or maybe it’s the fact that he mentally adopted a teenage mom with criminal parents who most likely lived off of welfare. Maybe it’s the fact that his bio kid is Arab and most likely actively practiced the Muslim faith. Maybe it’s the African American foster kid who was in a gang. Maybe it’s the disabled “daughter” who lives life in a wheelchair. Or maybe it’s the Bisexual son who is currently in a relationship with a man. Maybe it’s his illegal immigrate best friend. Maybe it’s the fact that he goes out every night and fights crime illegally might I add. Maybe it’s his Jewish cousin or his Jewish mom or the fact that he’s Jewish himself. Maybe it’s the fact that Bruce Wayne his public persona is the biggest man whore known to man which definitely fits their Christian values for sure. Definitely sounds like MAGA to me.

[the-alice-of-hearts]

Praise kink but not in an “you’re such a good little girl” way, more of a “fuck I love how you look when you cry, your tears turn me on so much, no one breaks like you do, I love it when you beg me to stop like that baby”

[the-alice-of-hearts]

A copper retriever with her unoxidised puppies

[the-alice-of-hearts]

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y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

[the-alice-of-hearts]

Puritanism is getting worse around the globe and conservatives and fascists will absolutely be first going harder against porn, then use that against queer people. You HAVE to realise this and oppose anti porn measures and laws, be in solidarity with sex workers, and listen to them when they call this shit out. It's going to be vitally important.

[the-alice-of-hearts]

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

[the-alice-of-hearts]

You're simply never going to convince me that the people who learned how to analyze, think critically, and build up skill sets so they could become genuinely informed and competent in a field and accomplish tasks independently aren't better off than the people who use generative AI as a crutch and replacement for doing anything by themselves. There's not a world where knowledge and skills are a disadvantage, so no, people really don't need to "learn how to use ChatGPT or else they'll get left behind." That's just a marketing tactic to get people to use this product sooner.

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✨️ The Enrichment has Enriched! ✨️

[the-alice-of-hearts]

PSA: AO3 HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH AI BOT COMMENTS.

Have you seen one of these dipshits? If you post regularly on ao3, chances are YES, but more likely you didn't notice nor suspect it was a bot. Sometimes they start off nice, or even praise you before getting nasty out of nowhere, like so:

But much like Grok, their newest obsession is nazism.

I don't know where they come from, or what purpose this could possibly serve other than suicidebaiting random people in the internet, I guess; but apparently they've started parroting names from real users to send these comments and shifting their general length to go by undetected. Maybe those are scrappers trying to train 'reviewbots' to be sold as part of some scam service promising to give feedback for newbie writers, who the fuck knows.

Here are more examples of the tone and backhanded compliments you can find in these:

If you regularly post on AO3 or interact with writers in it, please pass this along so they don't feel insane receiving bombs in their inbox. This is ridiculous.

[the-alice-of-hearts]

Oh and I want to fight all the Gen Z kids who are like ‘teehee, we’ll just do lavender marriages instead!’ Some of us are adults who want equal rights and protections under the law of our land.

[the-alice-of-hearts]

The Onion dispels the common myths surrounding autism.

MYTH: Autism is caused by vaccines.

FACT: There is no scientific evidence that the microchips inside vaccines are linked to autism.

MYTH: All autistic people are good at math.

FACT: All autistic people are good at Wave Race 64.

MYTH: Bad parenting causes autism.

FACT: Bad parenting causes people to believe that bad parenting causes autism.

MYTH: Only boys can be autistic.

FACT: Girls were given access to the spectrum in 1983.

MYTH: There weren’t autistic people in the past.

FACT: Who do you think categorized all the bugs?

MYTH: All autistic people have a special skill.

FACT: Autistic people are often just as useless as the rest of us.

MYTH: Autistic people will use martial arts to kill my family.

FACT: The Accountant and The Accountant 2 are works of fiction.

MYTH: Some people with autism may never work.

FACT: That’s awesome, good for them.

MYTH: You should have been much, much nicer to your classmates with autism growing up.

FACT: This one checks out, actually

[the-alice-of-hearts]

welcome to the Murdersex zine, a zine celebrating all things sex and murder. but um. we don't want to romanticize it or anything so don't make your submissions too murdersexy. we will do extensive background checks on all applicants and if we decide a past work of yours has too much sexy murder we'll have to remove you, sorry. we have limits, you know, we want a tasteful gory spread you could put on your coffee table, and having the Wrong people in it would kill the vibe (and we condemn all killing! wholeheartedly!)

[the-alice-of-hearts]

i am. so sorry if i have ever used the phrase “i have an au where—” and led you to believe that there is an actual fic out there for you to read rather than, at best, a post where i explain the concept, and at worst it is simply something that lives in my brain