thatonedimpledgirl

[thatonedimpledgirl]

denkst du auch an mich wenn es schneit?

[thatonedimpledgirl]

yet another year i've survived

should i be 100% honest? i feel like i won´t survive another year like this. alone and unloved. it scares me how much i think about not being here anymore. i don´t want to die but I can´t keep living like this -i don´t want to keep living (like this).

[thatonedimpledgirl]

as long as i live in my hometown i will never get over her. it's the little things. like a common walk to the trainstation. i leave the house we spend endless nights in. where we shared thousands of memories. where our story began. where we shared the deepest secrets. where we faught, made up again, kissed, laughed and cried. two minutes after leaving this altar of memories, i cross the street where we used to meet up. we used to take walks for hours on end. 3 minutes later i pass her grandmas house. she took me there after a christmas party. in the beginning of twenty seventeen. i met her there a few month ago to bring her a few things from my house. it was suppose to be a quick thing, but we ended up talking for hours. not long after that i have to walk over the graveyard, past her grandpas grave. i used to talk to him when she wasn't there to listen to me anymore. i begged him to take care of her and all the people she loves. and then i am there. the trainstation. where i stood and waited for her after she passed her exams. got out of the train, excited to be close to her again. it's impossible.

[thatonedimpledgirl]

i kinda wanna talk about something...

[thatonedimpledgirl]

getting stoned for your birthday

[thatonedimpledgirl]

It is over. I would like to close this chapter here. I wish you all the best. I'll log off now.

[thatonedimpledgirl]

I met someone new. She is so sweet and nice and just...a perfect match. We shared our first kiss yesterday.

[thatonedimpledgirl]

I survived another year.

should i be 100% honest? i feel like i won´t survive another year like this. alone and unloved. it scares me how much i think about not being here anymore. i don´t want to die but I can´t keep living like this -i don´t want to keep living (like this).

[thatonedimpledgirl]

A lot happened. After I saw her I texted her and thanked her for wanting to give me a ride. Since then we text back and fourth. On friday and yesterday she came over. We watched a movie. It was like old times. I am okay. Kinda "ashamed" to tell you guys all if this.

[thatonedimpledgirl]

LISTEN !!!

I was on a date tonight !!! On a fucking Sunday !!!

GUESS WHO I JUST MET????????????? GUESS WHO WALKED PAST US????????? GUESS WHO I HAD SMALLTALK WITH WHILE ON A DATE ???????

GUESS !!!

[thatonedimpledgirl]

I think the Christmas Party is not happening due to Covid. It bothers me so much because I wanted her to be there -out of curiosity!

[thatonedimpledgirl]

LISTEN UP !! I HAVE SOME FUCKING TEA TO SPILL !!

I haven't seen her for a year now right? And we met at a sports team, RIGHT? She hasn't been there for over 3 years ?!?!!?!?!?!? Now one of my teammates told me that SHE wants to come TO THE FUCKING CHRISTMAS PARTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ????? WHYYYYY ??????? AFTER 3 YEARS ????

[thatonedimpledgirl]

It hurts a lot right now. When will all of this end? I feel so horrible. I want it to end. I want to hate her. I want to die. ITS BEEN 6 FUCKING YEARS!!! HOW COULD SHE FORGET ME LIKE THAT??? I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THIS SHIT!!!

[thatonedimpledgirl]

She is so present in my head today. It hurts again. Everything reminded me of her. I feel like something happened. I don't know. I hate it. I just want to cry.

[thatonedimpledgirl]

This life isn't for me. I just woke up and I have the urge to cry my eyes out. I don't want to get up. I don't want to do anything.

[thatonedimpledgirl]

I miss her. Fuck!

[thatonedimpledgirl]

It scares me that I can't see my future -at all. I want to become a teacher but I am struggling to study for my biology test this Tuesday. My mental health ruins so much. I have a perfect life pictured but it feels more like someone else's dream I'm watching. I don't know what I am suppose to do. I don't wanna live off of our country.