thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

Sex stuff you probably won’t learn from fanfiction and/or porn:

Erotic fic and porn can be a lot of fun! But if you aren’t being provided with adequate sex ed through other channels (comprehensive sexual education, frank and open discussions with trusted adults, etc.), turning to fanfic and porn for your understanding of sex is gonna leave some major blindspots and may leave you with some unrealistic expectations. While there’s nothing wrong with these kinds of erotica, they are fictional and tend to leave out a lot of the more realistic, human parts of sex - they serve a great purpose, but that purpose isn’t primarily educational. The following is an incomplete list of some things you should probably know about sex that a lot of fic and porn tends to leave out:

It isn’t always super hot or super sweet. Sometimes it’s super silly. Or sometimes it’s sort of mundane and you’re both simply scratching an itch. That’s fine too. (Hell, sometimes you’re talking about comic books while boning and your partner is laughing that you’re getting REALLY ANGRY about spider-man while they’re going to town on you.)

You will probably not climax at the same moment. It’s a sweet idea, but extremely hard to coordinate, and if all your concentration is going into coming at the exact same moment, you’re probably not enjoying yourselves as much as you might. 

Sometimes bodies make weird, goofy noises. Squelching, slapping, air-escaping, un-sexy noises. It’s okay to laugh at this. 

Hell, it’s okay to laugh during sex in general.

Sometimes you fart. Sometimes you fart while someone is going down on you and it is embarrassing as hell. This isn’t the end of the world. Embarrassing body things happen. Heck, sometimes, with anal, there’s a little poo. You get over it.

Sometimes sex is… kinda bad? This doesn’t mean it’s assault, or something traumatic – sometimes it’s consensual but just kinda bleh and not what you hoped for. The best thing to do (if you’re talking about sex with a partner and not just a hook up who you can not call back) is talk to them about it. Figure out what went wrong, what you enjoy and what you don’t, and communicate what techniques you do and don’t like. Also don’t be afraid to stop someone in the middle of the sex act you’re not enjoying and offer guidance on how to help make it good for you too. (Side tip: masturbation makes great research into what you personally do and don’t enjoy sexually)

You won’t enjoy every sex act. Not every body is wired to find every thing pleasurable. You might find anal does nothing for you. You may find g-spot stimulation just makes you really anxious that you’re about to pee. You may not enjoy giving or receiving oral. You’re not broken if you don’t like something that every pornstar or smutty fanfic protagonist seems to have earth-shattering orgasms from. Everyone’s got nerve endings in a range of places – it’s quite literally, different strokes for different folks.

On that note, not all orgasms are earth-shattering. Sometimes it just feels warm and nice. That’s fine too. 

Sometimes, if you’re neutral on a sex act and your partner loves it, you can suck it up for them, and they’ll suck up something they’re not crazy about for your pleasure in return. But communicate preferences with each other! Know that when a partner does that thing you love that they don’t get much from, that it’s an act of care, and vice versa. 

Falling asleep in each other’s arms right after wild passionate sex seems really romantic, but dried and crusty fluids are gonna be a bitch in the morning. Also, after sex, you should both (regardless of your equipment) go pee to clear out the urethra of any gunk or bacteria to reduce risk of a UTI. 

Putting a towel down on the bed before sex means you don’t have to sleep on wet funky sheets. (it’s also verrrrrry useful for period sex if you or your partner menstruate.)

A lot of people don’t like dirty talk, or rough sex. Always ask first. (Fanfic on the whole does a better job than porn at showing communication, but a lot of it is still highly fictive on this point)

PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION. Use condoms, dental dams, etc. not just to prevent pregnancy, but to reduce risk of STIs. (Yes, even couples with the same genitals who don’t need to worry about pregnancy).

Lube is great and very important, but random goopy things around you are not good lube. Random oils especially, since oil doesn’t flush out well and can trap bacteria inside the body – oil-based lubricant also degrades condoms. Use lube specifically designed for intimate purposes. Water-based and silicone-based lubes help sex feel really good!

Bigger isn’t necessarily better. A lot of people with vaginas don’t enjoy the feeling of being repeatedly punched in the cervix by a monster cock. Some people enjoy a larger size when being penetrated by an appendage or toy and some don’t.

Bodies are hairy. Genitals are hairy. You may get a pube stuck in your teeth at some point. If your partner is WAY fuzzier than porn ever led you to believe they’d be, well, that’s normal. 

Not everyone loves the taste of ejaculate. Sometimes it’s nasty (flavor tends to vary from person to person depending on their diet, but sometimes you just really don’t like it no matter what. Some of us hate the taste of peanut butter. People don’t always like things). It’s okay not to swallow, or to request a penis-having partner warn you so they don’t ejaculate in your mouth (in fact, it’s polite for them to do the latter). 

If you’re gonna have shower sex, get one of those rubbery mats for the shower floor that gives you traction, because otherwise it’s super embarrassing to call for an ambulance while dripping wet and naked because you slipped and accidentally broke something and your partner got a concussion while you were trying to bang in the shower. 

Moaning and screaming wildly during sex is fun but it will make the neighbors in the apartments adjacent to you hate you. Make choices accordingly. 

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

it’s time

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

Your weight shouldn’t influence the level of effort your doctor puts into your care. Even If it may be a contributing factor, that shouldn’t prevent your doctor from finding answers or considering alternative treatments that don’t centre around weight loss

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

thinking about this horrific story alongside that of Kelaia Turner, a 12 black child who attempted suicide at 12 yrs old after being relentlessly tormented by her racist classmates and teachers. after surviving the attempt, she was stalked and harassed by her bullies who took pictures of her whilst she was in a coma at the hospital, and now that she is conscious she is completely immobile, unable to speak, and requires constant care. white people are raising demon children and the world should burn several times over for these two little girls.

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

The moment she fell for him.

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

I keep getting ads for Amazon health services, things like video doctor visits and online prescription filling and delivery, and they drive me up a wall. The advertisements feature people's internal monologues as they wait in line at the pharmacy or in a doctor's office, and they are all focused on complaining about everything around them. Other sick people. Having to take turns. A lonely older person talking to a clerk for too long and holding up the line. Then a reassuring voice reminds us we can do this all over our phone at home thanks to Amazon.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with video healthcare visits or online pharmacies. What is incredibly perverse is presenting the people around you as an unnecessary impediment to your own life.

The more we shrink our worlds to just what easily caters to us and our few interests, the more we forget how to be with other people. Humans have always lived in groups and have always found small annoyances with sharing space and taking turns. But making room for each other is what allows us to exist as a society. Maybe you don't want to sit next to the kid with the snotty nose but, you know what? You used to be that kid. Or in the future, you will be that kid's parent. Or the old lonely person talking to the clerk. Or the appointment that runs long at the doctor because you are getting care you need.

I once found a quote that 'being a good neighbor means letting other people know that you see them'. These are simple things like being considerate, saying hello and offering help. I stress it to my kid all the time - sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is let other people know that you see them, and they are welcome.

Wouldn't you like to be treated like that, instead of a being thought of as a hurdle making someone else's day shittier?

When technology offers you a chance to make things frictionless by eliminating everything but yourself and the corporation you are paying, think about what you are losing.

Also for the love of God don't give your medical records to fucking Amazon.

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

She's absolutely right!

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

Reblog if you’re 30 or older

This is an experiment to see if there really are as few of us as people think.You can also use this to freak out your followers who think you’re 25 or something. Yay!

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

reblog to tell your mutuals they’re lovely af.

✨♡♡✨♡♡✨♡♡✨♡♡✨

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

[thatgirlsnotrightinthebrain]

the david zwirner gallery and the felix gonzalez torres foundation in the smithsonian removed the descriptive plaque for portrait of ross in la by felix gonzalez-torres. the old plaque explained portrait for ross' origins as the artist's partner's aids related death, and replaced it with a plaque with absolutely no information about the piece itself, who ross was, or who gonzalez-torres was either. portrait of ross was also reeranged to lay on the floor long ways instead of in a pile as it typically is situated, and the plaque outside the exhibition FOR GONZALEZ-TORRES omits his sexuality, as well as his aids related death. i'm in utter disbelief