thatgirl19x-blog

[thatgirl19x-blog]

Busy day💗🙈

So it's currently 7:22am and I'm in my GYM clothes about to get my bloods done and then going to Irish dancing for 3 hours which is 2 much😂 After Irish dancing I"m going out with my nana and sister to get some coffee as it's my birthday tomorrow so she said she'd treat me as yesterday I was feeling so ill and I couldn't do anything besides sleep😫 So I'm off now to the shop and a jog talk later💗🙈

[thatgirl19x-blog]

What to do

So my day has been so boring all I’ve done is sleep,eat and go on Tumblr.I couldn’t fall asleep last night so I have been up for 27 hours without any sleep and I’m so tired I just want to crawl into bed for the rest of my life.

I’m just back from the village as I went on a walk with  y sister Sofia and my dog Rosie.When we arrived at the village I felt I had nothing to do so I met up with some friends which was great as that was the only good thing about my day.

It’s currently 6;28pm and I’m waiting for my mom to cook dinner.My mom isn't in the greatest mood because I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer so now she has to make something totally different that she planned.

I’m not sure if I will write tomorrow as I have dance for the next 3 days and It’s my 14th birthday on Friday so I’ll see if anything comes up.

[thatgirl19x-blog]

What my life has been like so far :|

So......hi,I guess that’s what I should say I’m really not sure.My name is Jess and I have been threw a lot these past months weather it’s been depression or people using me it’s been tough.So I’m gonna tell you a few things about me so you can get to know me a bit so I guess enjoy :/

So where do I start.....I suppose I should start at the point where I got hurt which was in early June.I was just finished school so I was happy that I could leave everything behind me but I couldn’t,maybe it was the secret I was keeping from friends and family that only a few knew or maybe it was what I did to myself.

It all happened one night when I was talking to an ex-boyfriend of mine who decided it would be funny to tell me he liked me.I felt so happy as I liked him also but I didn’t know he was just pretending and was trying to get me back from breaking his heart as Easter which I thought was a mistake but he didn’t believe me.So when I finally found out he told me to go jump off a bridge and that nobody needed me or wouldn't even miss me.I remember reading this and feeling like my heart was being torn out of my chest.All I remember is grabbing the sharpest thing closets to me and cutting until I felt the pain was gone.

The was how it all started,once he found out he apologised and I forgave him because I was stupid.That was the first time I felt pain like that and I didn’t want to feel it again but I did a few days later.

I can’t remember everything but I do remember that a friend of mine was saying horrible things about me behind my back and as I did before I cut ad that was the last time I did because I hated myself for doing it.

So now as I wright this I have been used once again by yet another friend.This friend didn’t mean to lead me on I think but it still hurts because it makes you feel special but then you don’t.So now I sit here tying at 1:10am hoping that I will type until my pain fades and I don’t hurt myself as it torn my family.

So that’s a bit of my life so far it’s a bit messy and complicated but it’s what my daily life struggles and tasks are.So hopefully you enjoyed what I shared and follow and read more,until then:)