thatbiblereviewguy

[thatbiblereviewguy]

The First Sin: Adam, Eve and Sneaky Steve

For IWD, here's a defense of our iconic queen Eve from the bible. None of it was her fault!!

It all goes down some time after Eve was created. She's living with Adam in The Garden, where they laze around and do nothing all day. Apparently they're pretty chill with all the wild animals because one day, The Snake - who has the ability to speak for some reason - slithers up to Eve and is all "Heyyyyy.... Eve! Girl what's up!! You got a minute? I have a quessstion..."

Unfortunately for Eve, she wasn't all that street-smart, so she had no idea that the incoming question was most definitely a set up. It's like a "Hey girl, I'm coming to you woman to woman..." text. You hear that and you know that you're about to find out some shit that'll get your shit rocked. Eve didn't know all that (probably due to her being like 6 months old). So she replied, "Oh yeah go ahead!"...

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[thatbiblereviewguy]

The Creation Story: Worldbuilding 101

The Story of Creation, from the perspective of an ex church kid

Feel free to disagree, but the Bible has THE best and the most expansive worldbuilding out there. It's rival to none, except maybe ATLA. But second place is still more than alright, and the length of time it took to build it all is insanely impressive; one can't help but acknowledge the biggest one week project of all time: the creation of the earth.

The account of creation is documented in such a way that is eerily similar to Lifestyle creators on Tiktok. I'm not in the mood to discuss each aspect of creation at length, so here's a summary of God's very own "A Day in The Life of The Creator of Heaven and Earth" video series...

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[thatbiblereviewguy]

Jonah: Balls of Steel? Or a Pussy Ass Bitch

Pilot 'episode' of my bible review blog !!! I had loads of fun writing this, I hope someone out there sees it!!

Jonah was just chilling right, probably having a good old Tuesday afternoon nap when God pops in and is like “Hey man, you know those guys in Nineveh. So Evil. I can’t stand em at all. I need you to go over there and tell those folks that I’ll soon destroy them”. Now, no one really knows what Jonah had been up to before this, but I’d assume they’ve at least worked together before, from the way he’s real comfy with God...