tfevenismylife

[tfevenismylife]

[tfevenismylife]

Seeing Jiang Cheng for the first time: who is this rude bastard man

Seeing Jiang Cheng now: actually lemme get like five more of these little purple bitches

[tfevenismylife]

The Reunion

Rewatching ep 50 of The Untamed and there’s something I need to get off my chest.

When Wei Wuxian realizes that Lan Wangji saved Wen Yuan (Sizhui) I can only imagine the gratitude he must have felt in that moment. Allow me to explain:

In Wei Wuxian’s previous life, his biggest sacrifices,the reason why so much of his life went to hell was in order to save what was important to him–the innocent who couldn’t protect themselves. For this he broke promises to his family, destroyed his relationship with his brother, destroyed his reputation, turned to crafty tricks, couldn’t see his friends or Lan Zhan, missed pivotal milestones in his dear sister’s life–all this for that purpose. Wei Wuxian bonds with the remaining dregs of the Wens, forming a brother-sister relationship with Wen Qing, resurrecting Wen Ning (in a manner of speaking), and keeping a special eye on the only child with them–Wen Yuan. The child becomes practically his son–Wei Wuxian dotes on Wen Yuan, tries to make him happy, tries to eek out something of a normal childhood for him, playing with him and taking him to town. 

In the end, the Wens give themselves up to try and save Wei Wuxian. He goes after them in a move of utter desperation, leaving behind Wen Yuan who doesn’t belong on the battlegrounds. And Wei Wuxian doesn’t make it back. All is lost.

Wei Wuxian wakes up sixteen years later, and none of the things he sacrificed for are still there, or preserved or at all survived. All those years of torture and suffering and loneliness, and he has nothing to show for it. It’s still worth it, but it must leave a hollow ache.

And he meets Wen Ning. Weng Ning who he thought was dead, but had instead been essentially imprisoned in his own body, forced to do some villain’s dirty work. It’s great to see him again, but Wei Wuxian realizes the double edged sword he created with his goodwill. At this point, he has to wonder–would it have been better had Wen Ning been allowed to die a natural death instead of living as a weapon in the hands of whoever wields him? What if he’d never gotten involved? He will now protect Wen Ning with all the power he has, but he realizes that by turning Wen Ning into the ghost general, he’s placed a large burden on him. Wen Qing awaits in another world with the rest of the deceased Wen clan, and Wen Ning cannot join them.

As Wei Wuxian walks around the world in his second life, he bumps into all the trappings and memories of his childhood, all the had-beens and could-have-beens, learning the consequences of his actions to him and others. And what has he to show for it? Nothing. Everyone he sought to protect is dead or forever alone and at risk because of him. He has no legacy except as the Yiling Patriarch, who kills and manipulates corpses for fun. He sees the futures his contemporaries have carved out for themselves while he was absent–both while in the Burial Mounds and dead–and his hands are empty of anything but stuff–tricks and inventions. 

But there’s little time to dwell. Someone has taken hold of his inventions, his tricks, his amulet, and is using it to their own ends. Wei Wuxian is not one to dwell too much if he can help it, and jumps forward to solve the case with the one man who believes in him–of all poeple, Lan Wangji, who it seemed had no patience for him as a fellow student, yet became his friend, and later a witness to what he had built in the Burial Mounds. Lan Wangji who built the beginnings of a connection with Wen Yuan. 

The mystery is solved, the villain defeated. Wei Wuxian can move forward with Lan Wangji at his side, his tragic past laid to rest. All his efforts, all his sacrifices, and the best he can say for them is that they are finally neatly tied up where they can’t hurt people anymore. Wen Ning is ready to live whatever life a fierce corpse can pull together, and Wei Wuxian looks to a future that is haunted by the ghosts of the people he failed to save and a child that never grew up. All he had done, rendered to little more than damage he had to clean.

But Sizhui has been having a journey of self discovery. His long forgotten childhood memories stirred by the presence of the recently resurrected Wei Wuxian and the eerily familiar Wen Ning. The one he could ask all these questions to–Lan Wangji, his father and brother figure–is busy with said resurrected troublemaker solving a case. It takes time for him to ascerain what it is he’s forgotten, and he picks up the clues he needs as he goes along, with help from Wen Ning, who sees the truth. As soon as the ashes of Jin Guangyao’s last fight settle, he runs after Wei Wuxian to confirm.

And what is Wei Wuxian to do except be shocked? What else can he do except sweep Lan Sizhui into a hug and cry at everything he has lost and found? And when he realizes that it’s the love of his life who saved Sizhui–who remembered a small child left behind in Burial Mounds who would need looking after once Wei Wuxian couldn’t do it any longer–his heart must have been full. His sacrifices, his new bonds in the fragile existence of the Burial Mounds, his seemingly reckless severing of all connection, all respect, his life as one of the finest cultivators… It meant something. The little boy who would have died without anyone to notice had he chosen not to act was now a young man in his arms, thanking him for going to the trouble, for making the effort, for suffering so that he could live through childhood… And Wen Ning wasn’t alone anymore, he now had a family to protect, and the small defenseless child that Wei Wuxian had taken time to play puppets with was now a capable, trained, kind cultivator, ready to redeem his family name. 

In saving Sizhui, Lan Wangji didn’t just save the closest thing Wei Wuxian had to a son, he saved his legacy.

[tfevenismylife]

Does it count as flirting if I refuse to let you know how I feel about you and avoid eye contact? 

[tfevenismylife]

Mood: having over 2000 songs in your library but only listening to the same 30 songs on repeat

[tfevenismylife]

dream job?

i simply do not dream of labor

[tfevenismylife]

i’ve been saying this to myself this morning and i’m going to say it to you in case you need to hear it: you are not here to be physically attractive. that is not your purpose. you are here to learn new things and be kind to people and listen to your favorite music and pet cute dogs and read big books and drink good coffee. you are here to see beauty in the world and create it when you can’t find any. you are not here to impress people with how you look.

[tfevenismylife]

valentines day is coming up,, if you ever wanted to gift me a sword with a engraved romantic message,,, now is the time

[tfevenismylife]

happy birthday to our chicago bean, our coffee addict, our one and only johnny suh 💓

[tfevenismylife]

“I, Wei Wuxian, wish that I can always stand with justice and live with no regrets.”

[tfevenismylife]

i know i’m not very gentle with myself, but i will be so gentle with you.

[tfevenismylife]

me on a roadtrip, every time i see cows: COWS !

[tfevenismylife]

i'm dumb i'm gay and i'm full of love i'm literally the whole package

[tfevenismylife]

i talk an awful lot about how badly i want to be romanced but the truth is if someone kissed my hand i wouldn't even know how to act

[tfevenismylife]

he looks so tiny I wanna put him in my pocket

[tfevenismylife]

you ever go casually nonverbal like it suddenly takes way too much energy to move your mouth and say stuff and you wouldnt be able to physically force more than a few words out if you tried but youre not stressed or anything its just kinda like aight then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[tfevenismylife]