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Ich bin zu klein

Ich bin zu klein für diese Stadt

Außer wenn jemand weißes 'bei hat

Dann jagt mich mein Herz durch jede Gasse

Schlägt schneller als ich laufen kann

Aber ich möchte nie alleine heim

Mein Bett kann gar nicht groß genug für uns alle sein

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If he’s ideal, it may work in years from now. Maybe timing is a bitch sometimes.

But if not, I will change and get over it, he won’t even be ideal for me anymore.

So either way, it’s going to be okay.

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we played a truth or dare game tonight and a friend had to rank from the hottest to the least hottest and he picked me first??? i think he‘s mostly heterosexual and there was another very pretty female friend there and i‘m confused if he only did this to not let me look like a total dork or if he was honest. i also feel bad that i even think about it, bc of course, it shoudn‘t matter. but what ?

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taking this as a motivation boost. fuck it i’ll show you

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big, fundamental heartbreak counter: I

mini heartbreak counter: III

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even though it’s making me vulnerable,

i have to admit what i already know:

it hurts

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why are you giving me vibes

and then you won‘t call

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love at first vibe

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You said you‘d call

but you didn‘t

You said you understand

but you didn‘t

You said you wanted to get to know me

but you didn‘t

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day 58: friends birthday. we had a good day. at night we sat together and had a good talk.

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day 57: bought flowers and an ice cream box for mum. we went for a lil walk. back at the apartment friend and i watched hp. other friend and i have dramatic talks almost every day now.

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day 56: just uni. went for a walk. the others came by. i should‘ve done more in the evening.

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day 55: emotionally wrecked. he came home and we talked. uni stuff all day. my to do list has the length of an a4 page. i started looking for appartments and got an appointment for a visit that same day. it‘s ten minutes from here and i was nervous. guy was nice but they are all so much older. cried at home and we cuddled.

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day 54: went to the flat, packed everything up and moved all my stuff in my old room. i have no clue if i will find a place to live in time. the others said i can stay as long as i want, but i need to find a place asap. i also wrote i m p o r t a n t e-mails for hours and it fucked my brain. now i’m in bed and he isn‘t home. on a date fucking someone, i‘m sure. i‘m so done.

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day 53: procratiantion queen is rising again. in the evening i had class though. got the info that i’ve got to leave ... i was disappointed by the way she treated me, but it‘s fine, it‘s better to leave. friend finally came back to the city and it’s so great having him here again. all the others came by and we sat together till midnight.

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day 52: le day de birthos. after midnight he came in the room and gave me a book, a letter and a big hug. in the morhing i got up, got dressed, ate cake. then i left to meet a friend for the first time since the virus. we chilled outside and then two others we know randomly came by and we chilled together. then i met two other friends and one gave me a t-shirt as a present, it‘s so nice. we went for some ice cream. i bought the biggest box (which i’ve been thinking about for literally a month) and went to the apartment. the others came by and one returned home from her hometown. we sat together, drank and ate ice cream. then watched bullshit. it was actually a really great day.

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day 51: just extisted