terezawolfintuitive-blog

[terezawolfintuitive-blog]

Why I’ve Decided To Be Single For A Year

Recently I finally pulled the plug and decided that 2020 was going to be the year of being single. The year of not tying myself down to a man, the year of not wasting time on swiping left, right, left, right on every dating app across the internet, the year of following my own personal goals and the year of finally learning how to not only survive but THRIVE without male attention. Simply put, the year of being Tereza and not giving a single fuck about not having a romantic partner to share my life with.  

I decided to list down all the reasons as to WHY I am making this decision, not only to share this part of my life with you but to also have physical proof of why I am doing this to help keep myself accountable on this lonely cold winter nights when my ego wants to falsely convince me that downloading Tinder and getting myself some instant gratification from the next available stranger on the internet is a good idea (hint hint: it’s not).

Now, before we got onto the list of the actual reasons, please note that despite sarcastically joking about dating apps throughout this blog post, I actually have nothing against meeting people online. I think it’s a wonderful way to meet others and form connections and relationships and know many people who are in happy relationships thanks to online dating (including two of my best friends). However, I believe that this form of 'looking' for your happily after only works if you’re really ready to share your life with someone (and have both taken responsibility for and healed your own toxic patterns)… and despite all the spiritual and intuitive healing I’ve done on myself over the past two years since my awakening, to put it simply, I am not ready.  

Recently I’ve gone through the realisation that wanting to be ready and ACTUALLY being ready are two completely different things. It doesn’t matter how badly we want it and how much we try to force it if there are things that we know we need to work on further healing first, it’s just not going to happen… or, if it does, you’ll find yourself crying on the kitchen floor at 3am, crying your eyes out, begging the wrong man to not leave you (been there, done that).

2020 is the year of finally accepting that no matter how much spiritual work I’ve done and the fact that I continue to facilitate healing for others within my business, I still have a lot of work to do in terms of not only healing my past romantic relationships before allowing myself to enter another one but to also continue working on and bettering the most important relationship of my life - the one with myself.

So, without any further ado, here are my 5 reasons of why I’ve decided to ditch dating and am dedicating 2020 to loving ME…

1) I have more healing to do before tying myself down to another human being. This one is a tough one because despite knowing that there’s more work to do, the desire for a romantic connection doesn’t simply go away overnight. It takes daily effort and practice to remind yourself that despite craving something, you are simply not ready. Your soul might be ready for that magical, instant-spark connection that you’ve been waiting your entire life for, but your human self needs more time to catch up first. One thing I am learning to accept this year is that there’s no shame in admitting that there’s more self-development work to do - it’s actually really brave to admit that you’re not perfect, that you are human and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to continue becoming the best possible version of yourself.

2) I have bigger goals to achieve than looking for the next man. One of my biggest goals of 2019 was to get myself a boyfriend, fall in love and live 'happily ever after'. Knowing what you want and going after it is an amazing quality to have, however, the second I entered my last relationship at the beginning of 2019, most of my personal and business goals went out the window. A part of me still feels ashamed to admit this, but it’s true. The high and thrill of new love on the horizon completely blinded my ego and made me forget about why I was actually here and the goals and dreams I’ve set myself to achieve this past year. Suddenly, all that mattered was the person sleeping next to me and how happy and fulfilled THEY felt. The way I see it, I can either regret the time I “wasted” (I didn't actually waste any time because I’ve learned a fuck tun throughout my time with my ex-boyfriend) or I can learn from my own toxic patterns and make sure that the goals I set out for myself to achieve in 2020 are even bigger and better than the previous year - and that I actually give myself a fair chance of achieving them without losing myself in another person.  3) My soul knows it’s time to move on. This one took me a while to accept myself, but when I finally did, I felt happier than I have the whole of 2019. When I first moved to Bournemouth, I absolutely loved everything about it. The nightlife, the lifestyle, as well as the "14 miles of beautiful sandy beaches right at your doorstep" (well, not literally… despite what the tourist guide tells you). However, the more time passes by, the more clear it becomes to my soul that she’s ready for a new adventure. It has always been my biggest dream to move to and make a life for myself in London. In 2020, this is a number one priority for me and the vision that’s kept me going through some of the darkest times of my life when my last relationship ended. Some of my closest friends still don’t understand why I’d ever want to live in London out of all places. “Isn’t it too expensive?” “How are you going to afford to live in Central London?” “Have you lost your mind?!” Well… yes, maybe. I have, however, also found myself in the process. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to describe the feeling I get as I arrive at Waterloo Station while “Waterloo” from Mama Mia 2 blasts through my headphones. It’s a soul knowing unlike any other that THIS is where I am meant to be, period. It’s become clear to me that by living in this magical city I will benefit from even more opportunities to serve others and truly take my spiritual and creative game to the next level. So, despite what anybody says, crazy or not… I am going for it. Therefore, knowing that it’s become my number one priority to move and I do not desire a "long-distance" relationship, it doesn’t feel aligned for me to start a new romance where I am at at the moment, not only within my healing journey but also geographically speaking. In the words of Abba, 'Couldn't escape if I wanted to, knowing my fate is to be with you, finally facing my Waterloo.'

4) I’ve decided to fully devote myself to my mission. It took me 24 years to figure out what I truly wanted out of life and for the first time in my life, I can honestly, with real certainty, say that I know what I want out of life and what my mission is. This new-found clarity of mine has enabled me to get really certain of what the next steps I need to take are and HOW I am going to get to where I ultimately want to be. The way I see it, I can either fully invest into my next career moves and make sure I am truly following what my soul came here to do, or invest halfway and put the other half into a relationship that I know I am not ready for in the first place and delay fully surrendering to my mission. I 100% believe that you can have both an amazing relationship and a thriving career, but I am also certain of where I want to be career-wise before investing time into another relationship and I am just not there *yet*.

5) I deserve to fall in love with myself first. I deserve to feel head over heels in love with myself first before giving my love, compassion and attention to another human being. After my last relationship ended I did not understand why, despite all the love and compassion I offered the other person, things came crashing down. Flash news, it was because I never gave myself the opportunity of receiving the same amount of love from myself first. Had I known how to fully love myself first, body, mind and soul, I would have walked away from the relationship a long time before it actually came crumbling down because it simply wasn’t aligned for my soul to be a part of this specific union. This way, by falling in love with myself first, I will be entering my next relationship with utmost certainty that IF things turn sour again or I am met with a situation that’s trying to teach me how to set clear boundaries with the people in my life and release whatever no longer serves me, I have the power to leave and continue aligning with something and someone even better for my soul.

2020 is the year of self-love, baby, and I am SO excited about what it’s got in store for us!