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maybe if i reread a discworld book just one more time everything will be alright in the world

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headcanon that percy stays ready to clock the minotaur. this man would pause his lunch break to give this bull it's horn a third time. this man would dehydrate for two days if it meant he could murk this bull at the end of it. this man's beef with this walking beef is so grandeur. it was the first monster he killed the moment the battle of mamhattan began. this is one of percy's consistent bloodlust moments and no one will ever fault him for it.

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Andy Zaltzman is one of the Taskmaster contestants of all time. He shows up to the Taskmaster house in full cricket gear, including shin guards and a bat. He offers powdered trampoline as a prize task. He continuously dresses in costume in the studio for no adequately explored reason. He created a children's television character with the catchphrase "You can't eat ice cream when you're burning in hell." His team correctly deduced that he was being compelled to lie when he claimed to not know what velvet was. He nicknamed his penis The Nexus of Truth. Absolute legend

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In a truck stop bathroom washing my hands today and 2 boys, looked about 5 and 9, came in with their little sister who looked maybe 2. The following whispered conversation made my entire day

"We have to wait, there's a lady in here!"

"That's not a lady, he has a mustache! We can be in here!"

"Some ladies have mustaches! And she has boobs!"

"Well some guys have boobs! Like Uncle Jake!"

"Uncle Jake is fat!"

At this point I could not contain a chuckle and both whirled around with identical looks of panic on their faces. I smiled and said "it's alright for you guys to be in here so your sister has help, don't worry. And I'm both! That's why I have boobs and a mustache. Some folks are just built that way"

(In unison) "Ooooooh!"

(older boy) "So do you use Sir or Ma'am or both?"

"Both, but I prefer Sir"

"Cool! Well thanks Sir! We have to help our sister now!"

This was in a small town country truck stop and both boys had "Murica" type stuff on and neither of them had any issue at all with these concepts. Their mom approached me while I was in line about 10 minutes later and apologized for them bothering me in the bathroom (they had told her about the interaction) and she and I had a lovely little chat too. I got to introduce her to the term "intersex" and her reply was "I think I've heard of that before! I didn't know that was the word for it. Amazing how many different ways God can make people!"

Sometimes the world is good. More often than you might think, if you give it a chance. It's not all bad loves <3

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Beware!

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Listen Daniel’s involvement with the Stargate program makes total sense but also it’s so funny to think about him being part of a field team. Like “hi we’re SG-1, arguably the most famous warriors in the galaxy. Our team consists of a war vet, an Air Force captain, a high ranking rebel of the people we’re fighting, oh and also we gave this archaeologist a gun.”

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Happy low opacity elrond day to all who celebrate it

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🍌

Reblog this to give The Librarian a banana*

*very, very carefully

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list of vetted fundraisers that are EXTREMELY low on funds (below 5k USD)

@samialkhalili is vetted by @/gazavetters (#21) at time of writing they are at 621/50,000 EUR

@baraaalshrafa is vetted by both the butterflyeffect project (#911) and @/gazavetters (#34) at time of writing they are at 2,831/50,000 EUR

@ghadafamily2 is vetted by @/gazavetters (#6) at time of writing they are at 2,440/20,000 EUR

@nourasissue4 is vetted at time of writing they are at 2,344/50,000 EUR

@ahmed-sobeh2009 is vetted by association at time of writing they are at 2,504/10,000 EUR

@ahlamramadan1 is vetted by @/gazavetters (#69) at time of writing they are at 2,849/20,000 EUR

@familyhany is vetted by association at time of writing they are at 1,326/20,000 EUR

@anasbasil-ps is vetted by @/gazavetters (#83) at time of writing they are at 3,565/29,000 EUR

@samhderar2 is vetted by @/gazavetters (#109) at time of writing they are at 1,461/50,000 EUR

@moneerraed is vetted by @/gazavetters (#8) at time of writing they are at 1,929/35,000 EUR

@shadyfamily is vetted by @/gazavetters (#44) at time of writing they are at 1,459/50,000 EUR

@amnyaburas is vetted by @/gazavetters (#17) at time of writing they are at 2,070/68,000 CAD

@abdallahblog0 is vetted by @/el-shab-hussein (#315) at time of writing they are at 2,290/30,000 USD

@eman-kha is vetted at time of writing they are at 4,260/40,000 USD

@linafamily is vetted by association at time of writing they are at 2,350/10,000 USD

@farahmohanad2 is vetted by @/gazavetters (#42) at time of writing they are at 3,408/35,000 USD

more comprehensive lists of accounts that have reached out to me organized by currency:

USD | EUR | Other

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straight men are on something else

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in season 7 there should have been a scene where Buffy tells Spike "The house is full of people, you can't sleep naked anymore" but he hasn't worn pajamas since the Victorian era and one morning Dawn gets up early and spots him wandering around like this

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we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

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Detritus when he’s trapped in the meat freezer:

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Wait, some nuns of the order of St. Claire in Orduña have been asking the bishop for a licence to sell their pastries at the Derio monastery for 10 years, to no avail.

And they're so fed up they have officially rejected the Pope, archbishops, and bishops, and are now creating a schism inside their order because they're gonna sell those fucking pastries whether they like it or not.

WTF is this fantasy!!!!!

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“i asked chatgpt-” ohhh ok so nothing you are about to say matters at all

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I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead