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“The Tales of Kutcharitaville”

In the mid 70′s a small family restaurant opened at the address 2186 Hendersonville Rd. in Arden, North Carolina. The restaurant was called Kutchie’s Dine and Dance Supper Club. The proprietors were a husband and wife team named Kutchie and Anita Peleaz. 

The restaurant later on changed its name and theme to Kutchie’s Key West Cafe, a tropical beach themed cafe. The last dated article mentioning the cafe as open was published on a local online news platform in 2006. 

The cafe closed soon after the publication of the ‘06 article, after three decades of business. The property now sits vacant, having been partially demolished, but the land and remaining structure is still owned by a member of the Peleaz family.    

Shortly after going out of business, strange mentions of the restaurant began to appear in internet key word searches, due to the fact that someone was obsessively posting about the now-closed restaurant, writing about it over and over. The mystery poster began leaving these mysterious posts online in the year 2009, despite the fact that the Key West Cafe had been closed for a few years. The posts were created for the next seven years. 

These mysterious posts, positive glowing promotions for Kutchie’s Key West Cafe, were signed with many aliases, Jake Carson being among the most prominent, and they continued to be posted in news article comment sections for a total of seven years. The posts were also left below food and literary reviews, and even in the guest-book sections of online obituaries. 

The appearance of these posts, which were written about a defunct cafe and posted for seven years straight, were a mystery to the internet. No one could understand why someone would rave about and promote a long-shuttered dining establishment for seven years. 

If you look around the internet, many of the thousands of these now legendary posts can still be found, as well as YT videos on the topic, and a variety of links will take readers to web pages like 4Chan and Reddit, where people devoted to discovering who wrote the posts discuss the mystery.       

For more info see the top pinned posts at: r/KeyLimePieMystery

My Analysis of the KLP Mystery 

In 1958 charter boat Captain Tony Tarracino purchased 428 Green St, in Key West, Florida. He named it Captain Tony's Saloon. The building itself was home at one time to an ice slab morgue, and in 1898 it housed a wireless telegraph system instrumental in receiving messages from Havana during the Spanish-American war. After that the building housed a bordello, and a speak-easy and then became a bar and has continued to be a bar in some form or another to this day. 

The famous address is most noted for being a hangout to many celebrities, including many well-known literary figures, including Ernest Hemingway, Truman Capote, and Shel Silverstein. During the bar's run as Sloppy Joe's in the 30's, Hemingway spent a lot of time there. Later, in the early 70's, it became a favorited haunt of Jimmy Buffet. Buffet played his music at the place until he opened his own bar, Margaritaville, around the corner on Duval St. He was allegedly paid in the currency of tequila, to play Captain Tony’s, and he even helped to immortalize Captain’s Tony’s Saloon with his famous song "Last Mango in Paris"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Tony%27s_Saloon

This recounting of the history of Captain Tony’s Saloon is significant, and this history of the Key West scene is vital to the theory I am putting forth, for many reasons, as it is some of the relevant information that supports the theory that Kutchie himself was the author of these posts. 

We all know that Kutchie's Key West Cafe was a beach-themed cafe, made complete with the stylistic flavorings of the famous Key West scene. Kutchie masterminded this theme as the 2nd incarnation of the restaurant at some point after it's prior run as Kutchie's Dine and Dance Supper Club ended. 

A poster on Reddit found microfiche “Help Wanted” ads in which Kutchie’s Dine and Dance Supper Club advertised its intention to hire workers in 1976. It was in the 70's that Jimmy Buffet was the toast of the town over in Key West and those years in particular were Buffet’s “pre-Margaritaville” heyday at Captain Tony's. During the 70's is when he spent his time playing Captain Tony's for tequila payments, as the legend tells it. 

The first Margaritaville is listed as opening on Duval St. around the corner from Captain Tony's Saloon in 1985. It is not clear at what point the name and theme of Kutchie's Cafe changed, but at some point during it's approximate 30 year run, it changed it’s name from Kutchie’s Dine and Dance Supper Club and began doing business as Kutchie's Key West Cafe.  

During this time, Kutchie created the Cafe, which we have seen referred to in the KLP posts as “Kutcharitaville,” which is a play of words on Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. The posts also refer to Kutchie as "The Captain," in the same fashion as Captain Tony Tarracino of Captain Tony's Saloon fame. Therefore what we know of Kutchie and his Key West Cafe, is that it too was influenced by Captain Tony's Saloon, Jimmy Buffet and his Margaritaville vibes, and by the Key West culture in general.  

It seems obvious that Kutchie’s Key West Cafe's tropical phase intended to pay homage to and capitalize off the popular Key West culture of the day and throw back to it’s musical and literary heyday. While Kutchie built that creative cafe world for the entertainment experience of his diners, the posts created by the KLP poster also build a creative world for the readers. This is Kutchie’s World. 

The Key West Cafe strived to re-create a slice of the delicious pie that is the famous Key West scene, within the perimeters of Kutchie’s world building, and the posts also work on a literary level to streamline Captain Kutchie’s Key West Cafe into the same pop-culture literary world of legend that Captain Tony’s Saloon and Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville also inhabited in popular culture through their mention in music and literature.  

The posts attempt to create an alternate world in which Kutchie is a Captain, just like Captain Tony, and they link Kutchie’s little tropical paradise in North Carolina to the famous Key West literary and music scene through online world-building, same as Captain Tony’s and Margaritaville were immortalized by writers and artists in the popular media of the day. It is worth noting, that Kutchie himself has been known to build creative worlds for purposes of entertainment. 

Therefore I believe that is reasonable to assume that this writing serves the purpose of further enhancing the historical pop culture relevance of Kutchie and his Key West Cafe and serves to allow Kutchie to continue to create parallels between his creation, the Key West Cafe and the real Key West scene.  

The author of the KLP posts builds a fantasy world through their attempt at unconventional modern literature, much like Kutchie's Key West Cafe itself was a world built by Kutchie from his imagination, and was formed by him merging his personal interests into a “fantasy play” themed business. 

In the world of the KLP posts, statements are made by the author in which Captain Kutchie is memorialized in the same breath as Captain Tony and also the two ”famous” Captains are cast in the role of buddies, having had adventures together in the world built by the KLP posts. Was this past friendship fantasy or reality? Only Captain Kutchie and Captain Tony know for sure. Perhaps it is all just wishful thinking, or tall tale telling, an old man spinning yarns.    

"The Late Great “Captain Tony Tarracino” of Key West Fame was an Old Friend of “Captain Kutchie Pelaez”. Together the two of them Sailed Many Adventures Not Known To Much Of The World! Nighttime Runs Too Cuba And Back. Cheese Burgers, Rum, Scotch, Cigarettes, Cigars, Treasure Maps, Pizzas, Chocolate Bars and Key Lime Pies Helped The Two Make History. If You Can Believe It Even “Mel Fisher” Was Known To Hang With Them!"- Jake Carson FB

https://www.facebook.com/jake.carson.98284/posts/1854653334767359

“..And With An Extra “HEAVY-HEAVY HEART”, “Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s”, EXTRA GOOD FRIEND And OLD PARTNER IN CRIME….The Legendary….”YANKEE JACK”,..Of Key West and Boston, Mass. Has Passed Away, Much Too Soon..Rest In Peace Pisan…….Enjoy Your Key Lime Pies Buddy… .. …We Remember “Yankee Jack”, “Captain Tony”, “Jimmy Buffett”, “Mel Fisher”, “Captain Terry Levi”, “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” And Many Other Famous Characters Down In Key West In The Good Old Days. What A Blast Those Days Really Were!…. ....Do You Ever Wonder?..Who Writes All This Crap?..Well, We Sure Do. They Deserve Getting Awards For Such Literary Skills, We Hope They’re Getting Paid Well. This Stuff Is As Good As “Hemingway” Or “MAD MAGAZINE”!”  -Jake Carson FB

In the above post, Captain Kutchie Peleaz is hailed by Jake Carson as a visionary in the same breath as Yankee Jack, Captain Tony, Jimmy Buffet and "many other famous characters" and then the author goes on to question if you have ever wondered who writes this crap and states that it’s as good as "Hemingway" 

It is obvious that while the creator of the cafe strove to pay homage, it’s also obvious that there’s an intention in the writings to also create a modern experimental literary work that places Kutchie's Cafe somewhere in pop culture history, in the same way that authors such as Ernest Hemingway paid homage to Key West and recorded of it for posterity in history. 

It is made clear when the author says, “This stuff is good as “Hemingway,””  that they fancies their work on the KLP posts to be a valid form of creative modern literature and that they are conceptualizing themselves as one of the vanguards of this new style of creative writing. 

Hemingway and Buffet memorialized Key West and Captain Tony's Saloon in their popular writings. The KLP poster is memorializing the Key West Cafe in the now popularized KLP writings order to push the Cafe into the annals of pop-cuture history for posterity. 

It’s not enough for the Key West Cafe to have been “like” a Key West haunt, it must also be recorded in pop culture history, in order to truly be legend, just like a real Key West hangout. 

The Title of the Masterpiece is “The Tales From Kutcharitaville” 

At one point, Jake Carson states "Hell, If You Didn't Know Better, You'd Probably Guess That This Is Just Another Chapter From That Famous Island Book Named "The Tales From KUTCHARITAVILLE"!...." It is here we are informed by the author that the pieces of work that have been placed all over the internet actually combine, like an old fashioned serial radio show or different books of the Bible, to form a modern internet literature masterpiece called “The Tales From Kutcharitaville" in which the KLP author memorializes his youth, his love of family, and their cafe, which was in the Peleaz families lives for around 30 years. 

In the work, “The Tales From Kutcharitaville,” the KLP author takes you into Kutchie's world, by re-creating it for you on some level. For those who have never been to that famous Key West scene or even to Kutchie's Key West Cafe, the posts strive to recreate the energy from that moment when the two worlds were combined through the creative energy of one man.  

In my opinion, I believe that this all works together to show that the author of the KLP posts is none other than Kutchiemon himself. The author builds a world in their posts to pay homage to the fame of the Key West Cafe much like Ernest Hemingway paid homage to Key West in his writing and much like Kutchie paid homage to the Key West scene by styling his Cafe according to influences from famous Key West characters like Captain Tony and Jimmy Buffet. 

What We Also Know

We know that the Peleaz family has conservative leanings when it comes to politics, and the KLP poster seems to share similar political leanings, or so it seems from their writing. The pages the KLP poster comment on and the celebrity characters mentioned in the world they build also reference artists or celebrities from the boomer era. One example of this would be the attraction the author has to post the KLP writings on web pages covering performing artists like Don Rickles.  

What I Believe 

I believe in the years after Kutchie's Key West Cafe closed down, that Kutchie had nothing to do to foster his creativity, and missed building a fantasy Key West world, and thus moved onto the 2nd phase of world building surrounding the Kutchie's Key West Cafe, the phase in which the shuttered cafe was intended to be boosted to pop-culture literary infamy through the unconventional method witnessed in the author's use of free platforms to leave their mark. 

The author has chosen to clue us into their creation of the KLP world through the use of real world communications platforms that traffic in promoting food and entertainments relevant to the author's world building experience in order to create an “organic feeling” of “manufactured fame” for Captain Kutchie's Cafe. I believe this is Kutchie's effort to create a world of literary legend for his own Key West cafe that will parallel the literary legend built by famous writers to convey the Key West scene's vitality and lore. 

Through the writings, the Key West Cafe takes on a life of its own and becomes a little more famous in pop culture in the same way the original Key West scene is. This legend created, makes the Key West Cafe even MORE like the venues he modeled his cafe after, and also through these writings about the key West Cafe, the Key West scene itself is further immortalized, despite the fact that its even out of business now for over a decade. 

I believe that the KLP posts constitute a new form of literature that is modern, interactive, and dynamic in nature. The works that comprise "The Tales From Kutcharitaville" make use of free platforms and interact much like an ARG within the real world, to create a parallel world in which Kutchies' Key West Cafe comes to literary prominence through the work of the KLP poster's world building much the same way that Captain Tony's Saloon and the Key West music and literary scene came to prominence after it was celebrated in world famous music and literature. 

So we know that the author has also told us the name of this “book” that they have published through unconventional means and they have also explained to us that their work is on par with Hemingway and while many literary scholars would argue that the KLP posts do not constitute a valid form of literature, this author argues that they do, because the platforms on which we receive literature and how we interact with literature changes historically and always have. 

This is why I believe the author of the KLP posts to be a sort of modern day Burroughs, or Bukowski. Insert the name of a famous ground breaking experimental author here and you get the picture. 

I agree with the author of the KLP posts when they stated that the author deserves awards for their literary skills. I believe the world they have created rises above the level of "just some comments on a board," and that the format chosen and the mystery imbued in it elevates the writing to an interactive level of performance. The world draws the readers in. Unlike much of modern literature, the world of the author of the KLP posts grabs the reader’s attention and demands discussion. 

I would argue that the KLP posts constitute a successful “life's-work masterpiece” by the author, and that the author is among a new modern vanguard of experimental underground literary figures that choose to self publish their works in unconventional formats. 

Most would believe that to be considered literature, one must have a book for sale on the shelf, or on the internet, but the KLP posts rise above the commercial literature we know today and present an experience that is on par with a much more highly elevated art form. The book “The Tales From Kutcharitaville” is not just something that you read and set aside, it is something you consume voraciously, and discuss. 

It pulls you in on its whirlwind adventure and also takes you along for the ups and down's in the life of the story's central figure, the Hero of the book “The Tales From Kutcharitaville,” Kutchie himself. It even casts you in a role, in which you become an actor in the story, an "investigator of literary mystery." 

This engrossing experience is provided to you at no charge, the price that is paid is the fact that Kutchie’s little Key West Cafe that used to be on Hendersonville Road in Asheville goes down in literary history, much like Captain Tony's, and the earned posterity is valid and justifiable as the post-humous notoriety is gained through a dynamic, ground-breaking new style of literary presentation. As a matter of fact the fame brought to the Key West Cafe posthumously is the writer’s “Award.”

It goes without saying that Captain Kutchie and his Key West Cafe deserve the literary prominence granted through the posts. The entertainment provided by the literature works on two levels. On one hand we are caught up in this urban legend through the serialized postings and on the other hand, we are also whisked into the world of Kutchie's as actors, where we investigate this manufactured literary urban legend. 

Loose Lips and Being Loved

My theory on why nobody in the know will disclose this author's identity- I believe for the urban legend to work on every level, the author can not and should not claim credit for their work. The mystery is part of the charm of the multi-level literary work, "The Tales From Kutcharitaville," and the mystery of not knowing who created the posts, combined with not knowing why they did it, is what propels the posts to the high level of dynamic performance art that allows them to inhabit both today's world of creative non-fiction, and also reside with one foot in the real world past. 

The mystery of the WHO and WHY is what makes this literary sensation something we can all can obsess over, and ask questions about, and interact with on so many levels. It's what makes this mystery one of the most thrilling creative reads of modern times. 

Some would argue that the posts veer into the crude, perverted, and disorganized, and at times show signs of a disorganized mental state. But many famous authors from literary history struggled with mental disorganization and many of them created their writing from within awkward disorganized mental states. 

Author William Burroughs, for example, often wrote from an “unusual place” that people would say was born of mental disorganization. His work, much like for example, Bukowski’s, was often seen as crude and vulgar and sometimes when an author's literary works were fragmented, crude, and vulgar and showed signs of disorganization they were published and lauded anyways, as “samples of the real life mind” of the author.  

If an authors world is disorganized, that is simply the world they are bringing you into. Vulgarity, perversion, and signs of mental disorganization do not invalidate the serialized work "The Tales From Kutcharitaville" from being considered as a modern-day literary masterpiece. These odd features actually help to propel it into its strange sense of notoriety. These features make the work more honest and interesting, as they provide a sense of genuine character to the work. 

While it could also be a writer who frequented Kutchie's, or it could be one of Kutchie's own family members, or more than one party, I strongly believe all the available evidence points to Kutchie himself as being the author. I believe that as he aged and his mental and creative state changed, these factors, along with the prominence of the work finally coming into view of popular culture, he decided to stop posting because sometimes, enough of a good thing is enough. Once the posts caught on and began to provide the former Key West Cafe with a new infamy, and people began to write to, make calls to, and otherwise contact the Peleaz family, he stopped posting the posts, because of his health, and also because the posts had served their creative purpose probably more then he ever imagined they would.  

Continuing to post the posts in the face of the public attention the posts are now receiving, would only serve to complicate the situation for the author and for the Peleaz family as a unit. If the KP works were created to make the Cafe famous post-humous it worked, but also the family began to face what amounted at times to fanatic harassment. 

People’s Theories on “The Tales From Kutcharitaville”

Some have theorized that the Peleaz family have something to do with criminal actions, that somehow involve the KLP posts, but no evidence has ever been found to validate these assertions of criminal conspiracy. People have also speculated that the posts are the covert/overt comms of spies, as well, that the work is being done by a bot. 

And while no one has ever been able to prove that the Peleaz family has any involvement in untoward affairs, and are proven pillars of their local society, the spy theory has never been substantiated even in the least either, nor has the bot theory. No theory has ever been proven. 

The Pelaez family is an upstanding local family in a tight-knit community of mountain folk, hesitant to trust or embrace outsiders. They've lived there all their lives, and the patrons of the Cafe often grew up alongside of them, and went to school or even to church with them. The Pelaez family, by all appearances, are well-respected hard-working locals that are beloved by the residents of the Asheville-Arden-"Skyland" area. As a rule, they do not possess criminal records.

If Kutchie wrote the posts and someone who knew him well did know this, I believe that they would protect this fact from getting out, simply because all of the love that is shown in the posts for the Key West Cafe and its patrons. That love was very real and is returned by the people of Asheville-Arden to this day. To this day, the people who Kutchie loved, still love Kutchie and his little Key West Cafe back. 

Many believe the secretiveness surrounding the topic of authorship indicates some sort of criminal conspiracy in the community of Asheville, but people are often very protective of the people they love. And regulars of Kutchie’s Key West Cafe say they were made to feel like part of the Peleaz family. To this day there is still brand loyalty to Kutchie’s Cafe. 

It has been reflected that some believe that Kutchie is no longer well health-wise and some readers feel that the writing style of the KLP poster often demonstrates a decline of the poster’s mental health. I believe this is another reason why people would protect the identity of the author, especially if the people in their lives protecting their truth believe that the posts were a product of a looming mental health crises. Everyone loves Kutchie. 

These posts are really about love. They are about Kutchie's love for life, his youth, his community, his Key West Cafe, Key West culture, and his family. The restaurant was the waiting room he spent the best years of his life in, during his time here on earth. 

In the stories he is a figure of action, adventure, and good times, he as a protagonist is a provider of and creator of community. In this community there is a lot of love. In these posts Kutchie has been living it up once again, this time memorializing himself in a contrived literary hoax, in which he has adventures with his celebrity buddies and he has created this little world for himself to use to extend to us and the world at large, the love that went into the fantasy world building of his Key West Cafe and share with us his own brand of magic, much as he shared the Key West Cafe and its “beach in the country,” charms with the community. 

I believe that the author of the KLP posts is a creative genius. I believe that creative genius living in his own self-made world is none other than the Captain himself. 

Who else would place him as the action-adventure star in his own “internet fan-fiction” fantasy Rat-Pack, and who else would seek to elevate The Captain and his former Key West Cafe into the annals of modern literary history? And why? No one but Captain Kutchie himself has any motivation to build this world in which he is glorified. This is original Fan-Fiction, by the Captain, for the Captain.

 The Copy Cat Posts/After The First Mention on Reddit

I believe that after the posts became a topic of discussion online, and people began to question the family members and contact them, that someone else in the family possibly began to reply to the public, or possibly participate in posting some of the posts. 

I do think this is a possibility to explain why it seems like the posts/messages were at one time being replied to or perpetrated by a different party, while showing different styles of writing and sending quotes from a game like Silent Hill. 

Another theory that I'm also leaning toward to support why this occurred is that at some point, some hacker folks who read about the KLP post mystery on Reddit managed to crack their way into some of the accounts in an effort to doxx the identity of the writer, and instead of do so, they used their opportunities looking around in the accounts, to reply to some of the messages themselves. 

This could account for why the replies that were sent to people after the story broke on Reddit, seemed to be related to gaming themes. Gamers on Discord have been known to try to hack their way into these mysteries. I have found evidence as well, that places some of the family members in the online gaming community. This is why I embrace both theories as possibilities regarding the origin of the replies that didn't seem to come from the Original Poster of the KlP posts. 

In regards to it being driven by a bot, I could see how an independent Bot could somehow find the KLP posts and begin to re-incorporate them into their work, but I also believe that it's also likely that the KLP poster could have also purposely made use of a bot in order to spread their creative KLP posts more frequently than possible for them to do by hand on their own.  

Human/Bot SEO Theory 

It's also a possibility that someone involved with the Key West Cafe, Kutchie or a family member, was working online from home to create content to support an-SEO related internet promotion business and simply chose to discuss and post about their favorite topic, while at the same time endeavoring to use the SEO service they were providing content for to elevate the Key West Cafe to modern internet literary fame. 

I believe that this is a faint possibility because the author of the KLP posts states something about hoping that the author will be paid well. If there is any case that this author received any payments for their work, in order to monetize the work, it would have to provide some sort of tangible real world value to some business or other, in order for the author to receive a payment, and if the writing is not being sold as a creative work through a traditional literary showcase format, it must somehow in the end contribute to enhance something that is monetized. There is no proof that anyone has received any payments, but the fact that the author mentions this possibility of a payment means that some could have been made, and there aren't many reasons someone would be paid to generate content like this. The content is either somehow monetized or its art. But it could be both. 

I believe that the author intended for their work to make the Key West Cafe known post-humous but they never realized or understood what the outcome would be, or knew what effect the work would have on the public or the Peleaz family. At the time of authorship, I believe the authors intentions for the posts were sort of a dream that they eventually found actualizing before their very eyes. And they had no way to know that this dream would lead to calls, mail, and emails directed at the Peleaz family, inquiring to know who wrote the posts. 

I am confident in my theory that Kutchie has written these posts himself and I believe that this is one of the most exciting and creative writing samples in this era of new writing and literary presentation to be found online. I believe the author has created a masterpiece and I am thankful to have been invited along on the action-packed, fantasy-driven, world-building ride. 

I feel like I almost know Kutchie by now, as I have been inducted into his Famous World, through the thrilling artistic work, “The Tales From Kutcharitaville.” 

I have been sat down at a table, I have been given the Pie. I have tried the Pie. 

And it was good.