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AU where Ted Theodore Logan is a cute himbo jock??? (except he’s the kind of jock that’s a goofy sweetheart and not an overcompensating dick)

But, he’s really only into sports because his dad wants him to be, and he’d much rather be a guitarist in a band with his friend Bill?????

so really not all that different from canon he just plays sportsball lmao

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AU where Ted Theodore Logan is a cute himbo jock??? (except he’s the kind of jock that’s a goofy sweetheart and not an overcompensating dick)

But, he’s really only into sports because his dad wants him to be, and he’d much rather be a guitarist in a band with his friend Bill?????

so really not all that different from canon he just plays sportsball lmao

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we need to bring back e3. I miss watching project managers with zero media training embarrass themselves in front of their entire industry

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Premise: As the end of 1999 comes to a close, Thomas Anderson attends a work party for New Years Eve despite his better judgement and social anxiety. He ends up right next you at the stroke of midnight, and tries to work up his confidence to talk to you.

Tags/CW: prematrix!Neo, loser!pervert!neo, sweet!reader, drabble, happy end, self doubt.

Words: 1.1k

Midnight draws near, the office a light with laughter and one too many drinks. Everyone is so merry, so ready to make fake commitments to the New Year and make supposed changes about this or that. A few sneak off to the copy room for some alone time.

And Thomas Anderson sits against the wall, sipping on a glass of overly sweet spiked punch that makes his stomach feel sick. He doesn’t know why he comes to these things, no one every notices him, no one cares about the quiet loser from I.T. who never seems to really want to be here. He plays with the ice in his glass by letting it swirl this way or that, and glances out the window of the office building. Below, people walk drunkenly home, arm in arm trying to fight the wind and ice below their feet. It always got so cold in Chicago during winter, he can hardly fathom what would make anyone go out on a night like this, but he supposes that other people actually have friends that are worthwhile to do such things for. He’s already regretting the walk home after this, and half considering heading out before the ball even drops.

“Alright everyone! They’re about to do it in the next few minutes!” A voice calls to the crowd, and people begin walking away from their cubicles and conversations to get a better look at the television.

Thomas sighs, and pushes off the wall, his long legs walking toward the edge of the crowd.

Maybe his New Year’s resolution should be to actually try to be more social for once.

Maybe he’ll end up just like everyone else who swears to stop drinking and go to the gym more.

Or just maybe…

His mind wanders as he walks to the last open space, giving a check to just who he’s standing next to for the next 3 minutes. Beside him on the right, is one of his older coworkers, a real veteran here, thinks he knows everything there is to the place and yaps too much about his kids. Thomas sighs, the outlook a bit foggy so far.

Then he turns his attention to his left.

A lump forms in his throat.

He didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.

God, are his palms already getting sweaty?

A nervous hand slips through the top of his jet black hair, and he takes another sip of his drink.

He’s had a crush on you since he started working here, but he never thought he would find the right moment to talk to you since you work in different departments, hardly ever crossing paths. Yet, he would see you everyday, walking in, your body driving him mad as he peeks at you over his cubicle. Those hips, those legs, the way your white button downs always made your tits look so…

Fuck.

He can’t think like this right now or else everyone’s going to know how much of a pervert he is from the tent in his black slacks.

Besides, if there was a chance to talk to you, now would be it, and he cannot speak to you if his mind is running away with the thought of what it would be like if you two somehow were the next contestants in the copy room alone.

But what will he say? “Hi, I’m Thomas Anderson, and I’m in love with you. I’ve thought of you everyday since I laid eyes on you, will you please marry me?”

No, too much, too forward. How about “I’ve got what your ass looks like in that pinstriped skirt you wear on Wednesdays burned into the back of my eyelids?”

This was never going to work, and his mouth just can’t seem to move, can’t seem to open it, but for another sip of liquid courage.

The television is less than a minute away from the ball dropping now, he’s going to totally miss his chance. Once that happens, everyone is going to make way too much noise to even get a word in. He has to act quickly.

Okay, think Thomas, think.

If he could just find a way to introduce himself that wasn’t totally pathetic. It didn’t help that you were turned away, talking to another coworker, someone way more handsome than he is, and more charismatic by the way you’re laughing right now. He had no chance, this would never happen and he just had to get over that. He just had to give up and admit that he was destined to be alone forever and that was it and that there was nothing for him in this world and really he should just drop out of life and go home and jerk off to the all the porn he kept in his room because he was such a lonely, deprived fuck who would never really know what the touch of a woman felt like and and and and

And they’re counting down.

“Ten!”

Everyone looks at the T.V., hands up and shouting every number out.

“Nine!”

There’s no way he can say anything now, his moments passed.

“Eight!”

You’re way too hot for him anyways, it’s not like this would ever work.

“Seven!”

God, why did he even fucking come out, no one gives a fuck about him being here.

”Six!”

There’s nothing that could will him to speak to you at all.

”Five!”

Resignation.

”Four!”

…

”Three!”

He’s leaning over, your ear close enough to speak over the crowd.

”Two!”

“Hi, I’m Thomas Anderson…”

You hear his voice float by like the flutter of a butterfly’s wing amidst a storm of the chanting crowd.

You turn.

You see the most beautiful pair of brown eyes you’ve ever seen.

“One!”

Your eyes shift to his lips, those soft, plump, kissable lips…

”HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Those soft lips are on yours before you can know what you’re doing. His lips freeze, then melt into yours, gently kissing you back. You feel a tingle from the bottoms of your feet to the tip of your head run up you, and you sigh into his tall frame.

How have you never noticed someone like him around the office before this?

You pull away and your eyelashes flutter open to look deeply in those dark brown eyes that are watching you heavy-lidded.

“Wow…” He whispers, the world around him running wild with streamers, confetti, and noisemakers.

“Yeah…” You whisper back, gently caressing your bottom lip where his kiss previously was.

Thomas Anderson has a new New Year’s resolution.

“Do you want to grab coffee sometime?”

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This is not my normal posting

My husband and I live in my late MIL's home. It's falling apart and we can't afford to move at the moment. The boiler, which is old as shit and was never maintained, is in need of replacement. We had an estimate given to us and it's...high. I hate that we even have to resort to this, but I have made a go-fund-me to help with the expenses. Since October, I've been having to shower by filling up a bucket, warming the water with a water heater and then using a camp shower setup in my regular shower. For heating, we use a space heater in the bedroom. It would be nice to have adequate heating again, but the boiler needs a complete replacement.

I won't ever beg for money, in DMs or otherwise so it anyone does it, that ain't me. But I will share the GFM link and it would be appreciated if this could be boosted.

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AU where Johnny Utah is a hot himbo lifeguard??

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WILL FERRELL AS BUDDY ELF (2003) Dir. Jon Favreau

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ELF dir. Jon Favreau, 2003

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Armored Core: Asset Management

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keanu reeves as scott favor (mopi, 1993)

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KEANU REEVES as Johnny Utah

POINT BREAK (1991) dir. Kathryn Bigelow