Just a place to dump stuff for my current hyperfixation.You can check out my comics atwww.tumblr.com/blog/autiebiographical
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Oof I’ve had a couple rough weeks at uni, have padmecker artwork I’ve been slowly working on. It’s an illustration for a short fic of the two of them, a twin piece to @electrikworm ’s fic
“There.” Padmé sighed as she put down the stylus, a moment ago used to correct the few words of her next speech on the Senatorial Ball she was organizing with Bail and Riyo to warm her colleagues up to the clones. A small tactic to make them look more sentient and humanoid than what they officially were written as in the law. One step closer to the bill that would recognise them as citizens of the Republic.
She straightened up in her seat, her back cracking in a few places, making her wince. No matter how much the chair cost, five hours of no movement will make her body ache. And because of the non-stop debates in the rotunda she had no time to prepare it earlier; the ball was the next day.
Padmé took her time, finishing sipping the cold caf she got delivered back when there was still sunlight, watching the lights of the Planet That Never Slept flicker in the distance. She knew how they looked up close, both on the triple zero and in lower levels she so rarely visited; only going there for her rare dates that she still had to hide from the public. If the media learned about her relationship with a clone, the whole rights bill could be compromised.
Sometimes she didn't care, wishing to be able to take Wrecker to one of the fancy restaurants, let him taste all the amazing foods she could get him, to walk around in broad daylight, visit museums and opera. She wished she could spoil him as much as he deserved.
But it would have to wait. Padmé knew she would make sure he and his brothers could soon walk around as fully free citizens.
“You done?” The senator almost jumped out of her seat as a male voice came from the doors to her office space.
“On the moons Anakin you scared me,” Padmé let out a sigh of relief, and the jedi laughed at her reaction. “What are you still doing here, you were supposed to leave hours ago.”
“Eeeh, I think I should give Rex a little room to breathe. He almost strangled me after I threw him down that hole two days ago.”
“And you don't want to spend the night on observation with Kix.”
“And I don't want to spend the night on observation with Kix, and Rex WILL rat me out in an act of revenge.” He walked over to her balcony doors, grabbing one of the donuts she kept on her desk, her favorite one she kept for last. “I'll sleep at Snip’s new apartment, apparently she got a great deal from the landlady that had a good family history with the Order, and didn't need a down payment. I'll see you at the ball.” He waved her goodbye and jumped down the balcony. Padmé knew he called R2 to come pick him up, just as all the times he decided to have that dramatic of an exit. One day he would fall and break his neck, and that would be karma for stealing the best donuts.
There was nothing more Padmé wanted than to sleep. But she desperately needed to shower, and knew Clone Force 99 was about to enter the Coruscanti atmosphere in a few moments.
She met the squad only a few months back, the four clones called as her escort during a mission. At first she was surprised at the differences from normal troopers, but soon learned about their mutations and special enhancements that were made to them.
Each one of them was unique and interesting, but it was Wrecker who caught her eye, his eyes that kept looking at her with awe when he thought she didn't notice, but also the difference between his pure show of power in opposition of how gentle he was with her.
He had that charm and authenticity that all her previous suitors lacked, speaking his mind and not carefully picking lines of dialogue they practiced before each meeting. He was himself at all times, and who he was was a man of big heart. And Padmé couldn't deny him the beautiful musculature and tanned skin.
And now, after three weeks of a comms-out mission, he and his brothers were coming for a personal debrief with commander Cody, and to crash at her flat for a few days.
She already stocked her fridge with food, readied her three guest rooms with a fresh set of beddings and towels. Yeah maybe she was playing favorites with that, but no one deserved being pampered like these four. Especially Wrecker.
As she waited for the clones to arrive she took a quick shower and brushed her teeth, finally getting rid of the acidic aftertaste of caf on an empty stomach. Once she put on her face mask, she got a ping on her datapad reading “Be there in 5 ;)”.
Padmé got her droid to brew some tea when the doorbell rang out. All of her sleepiness evaporates in an instance when she runs to the door.
She isn't done opening them properly before a massive set of hands hauls her off the floor and into a spinning hug that ends with a keldabe kiss.
“Hi sweetheart,” Padmé breathes out, looking into Wrecker's mismatched eyes. She locks her hands around his neck, pulling him close into a proper kiss. Oh how she missed it.
“Ekhm, we're still in the doorway love doves,” a snarky voice brings them back into reality, Wrecker laughing as he moves deeper into the apartment, letting his brothers in. “Great. I'm taking the bathtub first.” A few voices of protest ring out as Crosshair bolts to the refresher.
“Sorry for the wait, there were some issues with the docking system and they didn’ want to let us down to the planet.” Wrecker finally let Padmé down, putting his bag down soon after.
“Not your fault, I just barely finished my job anyways, didn't have to wait for long.” She stood on her tiptoes to land another kiss on her boyfriend’s scarred cheek, making him blush. No matter how many times she did it, the giant clone got red after signs of any affection.
“Thanks for letting us stay,” Hunter all but collapsed on the couch, cup of freshly brewed tea in hand. He looked a little roughed up, his cheek covered in a fresh dressing, left eye sporting a bruise. “I don't think I could survive another night bunking on the ship with those three idiots.”
Padmé laughed as a choir of three voices raised up with a complaint. She sipped her herbal tea. She had missed this.
Not just Wrecker, but his whole family. How much life they brought to this otherwise empty apartment. The sound of bickering during breakfast preparation, doors opening and closing when they left for the town, repetitive whirring coming from Tech's room, muted music from Crosshair's.
“I am completely exhausted, so I'll be waiting for you in bed. I don't want to smell ANY grease or pickled feet when you join, so take a bath beforehand.” Padmé smooched Wrecker one last time, putting down her cup next to the dishwasher, before she wished the clones goodnight and retreated into her own bedroom.
As much as she complained about the costs of her sheets to Sabé, in moments like these every single credit spent on them seemed worth it. She slipped under the covers, sighing softly as the pain in her back quieted down just a little bit. She had to wake up in the morning for the last dress try on, and then get her hair done before the ball. How lucky she was that a highly experienced squad of troopers was available as her security for the event.
Padmé felt herself fall asleep just as the mattress next to her dipped significantly. Wrecker put his calloused hand on her back, sneaking it under her shirt and drawing slow circles in between her shoulder blades.
“Mmm I really need to sleep my dear, we will have the whole night to ourselves tomorrow.” she murmured into her pillow, relaxing her back under the soft pressure of his palm.
“Then sleep cyar’ika.” The trooper whispered, drawing his thumb up and down her spine, kneading the locked up muscles into relaxation. Padmé knew how firm they must have felt, and let her boyfriend smooth them out as they slowly fell into a rhythm.
“Does anything else hurt?” Padmé could feel his warm breath on her cheek. She could deny it, let him lay down next to her. But, it felt so nice to be taken care of like that.
“Right arm, think I was holding my stylus too tightly.” She didn't even open her eyes as she turned on her side, reaching out the hurting limb.
With a gentleness a man of his frame seemed incapable of, Wrecker took it, moving it to face the palm up, and began massaging it too.
He started with her finger, so delicate and small in the embrace of his giant ones. Each one was delicately pinched in between his pointer finger and thumb, joints muscles and tendons kneaded into relaxation.
Then came the palm, painfully wiry, with the muscles tensed and coiled from the long hours of no rest. Wrecker's fingers carefully massaged them, and Padmé let out a few hisses of pain before these too relaxed into comfy hums as her boyfriend helped her with the pain.
She thought it would be it, but he continued the comforting movements on her forearm, now his actions bringing her more of a relaxing effect rather than purely pain relivement.
Wrecker arms continuously moved his hands up and down her forearm, drawing circles with his thumbs, making her back shiver with pleasure. She didn't even realize how wiry her muscles got until he made them relax, his fingers digging into knots deep into her limb.
“How did you learn to do this?” She murmured, her voice partially muted by the pillow she was laying on. Wrecker’s mismatched eyes didn't leave her arm, but she definitely saw the slight smirk under his nose.
“All of us got some pains a massage helps with. I was the first to need them, my growing pains making my whole body ache until I couldn't move. That's when Tech found some texts on holonet to teach me so I could do them before sleep. Then it turned out that Hunter's migraines can be lessened if you relieve the pressure on the neck,” Wrecker's pressure on Padmé's arm became weaker and weaker, his body slowly sumping to the side. “Tech tends to fall asleep on the pilot seat and next to his workbench, and I deal with his back afterwards.”
The senator gently pulled her boyfriend to lay down, his heavy body hitting the mattress. He didn't say anything, but let out a hum of comfort, wriggling closer to her, wrapping his arms around her much smaller waist. He was very warm, making Padmé shiver.
“Mmm, I'm glad you're here.” she settled her forehead just above his heart, taking comfort in the sound of the beat. Strong, just like him.
“Wish I could stay,” one of his arms moved to the base of her skull, gently scratching her hair bulbs, often sore from the extravagant hairstyles she wore on a daily basis. The hair and dresses, what she was most known for. A beauty of Naboo, queen and senator Amidala whose spirit never yielded. Just like her looks she never did anything halfway, giving her everything into how she presented herself as how she protected the innocents of the Republic.
But there she was, her hair in disarray, wearing an old t-shirt and underwear that has been for sweet release of the trash bin for months, and Wrecker was here, calling her beautiful in the pure darkness, his arms a comforting weight. Here, she was Padmé Naberrie, spending one of her rare moments with a man that found her beauty not in the make-up, dresses or jewelry, but her genuine laugh, lacking cooking skills, and the ability to stand her ground to help him and his brothers become people in the eyes of law.
He would protect her planet, while she secured his future.
Thank you Manhattan for edits and beta reading!
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Issue #3 art!
Dude! I'm getting super hyped!!
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Crosshair stans we are eating good today!!!
The Bad Batch: Ghost Agents issue #2 variant cover is here and it’s a beautiful solo shot of crosshair 😄
My bet is that the remaining issue variant covers will feature the other batchers
#I'm more of a wrecker stan but I can definitely appreciate this#the bad batch#tbb#the bad batch comic#the bad batch crosshair#tbb crosshair#ghost agents#the bad batch ghost agents
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Test Subjects: Part 5
previous next
Relationships: Crosshair & Echo & Hunter & Tech & Wrecker
Content Warnings: Blood and injury, Drug Usage, Emetophobia
Summary:
Tech and Echo get Wrecker to the Marauder, but that hardly means that the danger has passed. Wrecker's state is far from stable as Echo and Tech struggle to find a way to counter the altered stim in his blood.
Word count: 1,953
Read on Ao3
Tech hears Echo cry out, hit in the chest by Wrecker's arm and sent careening into a wall. The same almost happens to Tech, who manages to avoid his brother's fate by sheer dumb luck as Wrecker's other arm narrowly misses his head.
Slipping a blanket under Wrecker's head, Tech quickly backs away from him. They can do nothing but watch as their little brother writhes and convulses on the Marauder's floor.
The seizure hit suddenly. One moment, Wrecker had seemingly regained the ability to follow simple orders, the next he'd lost consciousness as his muscles started to spasm.
Then, just as fast as it started, it's gone again. Wrecker goes limp.
“Osik, is he even breathing?” Echo shouts, dropping to his knees next to Wrecker's still form.
Five seconds of silence pass, five seconds that seem to go on forever, as Tech racks his brain for a way, any way to keep his brother alive. Than Wrecker inhales, loud, painful sounding, and he starts taking wheezed breaths again.
“Help me get him on his side,” Echo orders.
Tech moves to Wrecker's other side, getting his hands under Wrecker's shoulder to turn him onto his flank. Echo stops helping Tech halfway through to arrange Wrecker's arms, laying the lower at an angle and the upper so Wrecker's head rests on the palm. As Echo tilts Wrecker's head backwards to fully open his airway, Tech makes sure Wrecker's upper leg is correctly bent at the knee to prevent him from rolling onto his stomach.
Despite his best efforts, Tech's hands shake as he runs the med-scanner over Wrecker.
The verdict is bad, worse than Tech's seen in ages. Screen flashing red, the med-scanner beeps angrily at Tech, making him aware of the patient's dire state. Even in the recovery position, the level of oxygen in Wrecker's blood is terrible and his heart rate is shocking.
Echo evidently recognizes the worrying sound the med-scanner makes, looking up at Tech, eyebrows knitted together tightly. There's a vacancy to his gaze, no doubt from his concussion. “What can we do?” he asks, clearly only able to keep calm due to his years of training. Even so, Tech is sure he could see fear in Echo's eyes if he really tried.
For a moment, the words get stuck in Tech's throat. It's his fault Wrecker is in this state, his oversight led here, and now he's the one that has to fix it. If they lose Wrecker and Crosshair today, it will be entirely Tech's fault.
“I-” Tech falters, staring blankly at his brothers. Of course he knows what they could do, how they might be able help, but he can't form the words, can't even think clearly. It's all becoming too much.
“Tech,” Echo speaks, touching Tech's arm far too carefully, “You've got this, tell me how we can help.” His tone is calm, patient.
“We carry medication that could reset Wrecker's irregular and increased heart rate, but there's no saying what it might do in combination with the altered stim.”
“Can you find out what was done to the stims?” Echo asks. Tech nods, already getting the package of stims out of his pack and collecting what he needs.
Tech sits on the sleeping rack, datapad and stims in hand, heart rate lowering medication placed right next to him. If Wrecker's condition worsens, they will have to risk giving it to him without knowing the side effects.
It's taking too long, Tech is painfully aware of that. Every time he glances up from his datapad, Echo's more agitated, running the med-scanner over Wrecker again and again. The screen never does anything but flash red.
Wrecker keeps breathing laboured, loud. It's hard to focus on anything else but the noise he makes. It's terrifying. Tech keeps waiting for it to abruptly give out, keeps worrying he won't get done until that happens.
They don't exactly carry full lab supplies with them, but Tech can perform accurate diagnostics on substances with his datapad's scanner, limited substance testing and his own knowledge. But he's so much slower than he should be.
Tech's only an estimated two thirds done when Wrecker starts trying to get up, squirming so much Echo can't force him back down as he moves to kneel.
He's not violent any more, clearly hit a stage of confusion and delirium. Words leave his mouth between his struggle to breath, incomprehensible minus the occasional phrase. It takes Tech a moment to realize that Wrecker is crying, pleas and mumbled admission to being in pain and wishing for it to stop being the words that he utters.
Tech feels useless as he sits there doing nothing to help as Echo tries to calm their terrified brother. Even as Echo taps his arm and speaks quietly to him, Wrecker shows little indication of even noticing his presence. He just keeps begging for the pain to stop.
Wrecker's burst of energy dies abruptly as he throws up, quickly devolving into a coughing fit as Echo tries to hold him upright. Echo takes the moment to remove some of Wrecker's upper body armor, giving him more freedom to breath. The plastoid armor clatters loudly as it is throw n aside. Wrecker's cough sounds bad, violent. Tech wouldn't be surprised if Wrecker broke ribs from it.
Echo glances over at Tech as he he's encouraging Wrecker to breath deeply again, his eyes meeting with Tech's. Feeling guilty, Tech quickly looks away. It's awful that Echo, concussed as he is, has to watch Wrecker. All because Tech is too slow with the one job he currently has. A job he could have avoided having to so in such little time if he'd just analysed the stims before anyone took them.
Slowly, Wrecker's breathing becomes the ragged thing it was before the fit. It's not a comforting noise, but it's better thank him choking. Echo gets Wrecker to move a little to the side, making sure he isn't laying in the pool of sick as he returns him to the recovery position. Wrecker's completely compliant, none of the earlier drive to fight left.
Hunter's going to be complaining about the smell for ages, crosses Tech's mind despite him knowing that Hunter couldn't care less if someone was sick on the Marauder during an emergency. He can't keep these stupid thoughts from going through his head as he watches is datapad's screen.
“He's so weak,” Echo mutters as he manoeuvrers Wrecker. Tech looks up, watching Wrecker's still, limp form. He feels a bit sick himself.
“What if it doesn't work?” Tech asks. What if he can't do enough to keep his brothers alive?
“We have to believe that is will,” Echo says, wiping both bile and tears from Wrecker's face.
“What if the stim in his blood just raises his heart rate again? What if it keeps doing so until it destroys his heart?” Times like these, Tech really wishes their squad had a fully qualified medic.
“Can't we get it out of his blood somehow?”
“Do you really believe that if there were a way to remove the drug from his blood, I wouldn't have done so already?” Tech asks, frustration spilling forth.
Echo sighs, using the med-scanner again, face falling somewhat as the screen lights up. “Osik, his oxygen is getting lower. Can we risk putting a breath mask on him?”
“If you're making sure he doesn't choke if he's sick again,” Tech says.
After digging through his pack, Echo quickly secures his own breath mask on Wrecker's face. “What if we dilute it?”
“What?” Tech asks.
“Wrecker's blood.”
“We can't simply dilute his blood,” Tech hisses back, silently willing his datapad to do it's job faster.
“We could if we used clean blood. We all have compatible blood types.”
“Kark, you may be on to something.” Tech raises his voice far too much. It makes the previously ignored pain in his neck flare.
Tech has to wave Echo off from offering up his own blood. Since Echo's time with Techno Union, the amount of Blood his body contains is already greatly reduced. Tech holds his own arm out for Echo to set up a transfusion between him and Wrecker, paying no mind to the needle being pushed into his arm as he focuses on his datapad. It's finally brought some information to light that Tech can analyse.
Tech reads the components, compares them to a classic stims composition. There is surprising little difference, mainly additions to increase the effect. Once he's through with the list, Tech doesn't waste time making a decision slowly. He was bred to make choices like this in seconds.
He hands Echo the hypo he'd had at his side the entire time. “Give it to him, it's safe.”
Echo doesn't have to be told twice.
They sit in silence as they watch Wrecker, his chest rising and falling unevenly. Echo uses the med-scanner again, indicating Wrecker's heart rate as slower. It's reduced even more by the second time. The third time Echo scans him, it's dropped to zero.
Echo's eyes flick to look up at Tech, wide with fear.
“Nothing to worry, it's supposed to do that,” Tech clarifies. He can barely cover the worry in his own voice.
Echo gives him a dirty look. “You could have told me that.”
Tech doesn't respond, waiting quietly for Wrecker's heart to restart. He doesn't notice he'd been holding his breath until Echo's next scan indicating a weak heartbeat, weak but definitively there.
Echo slumps a little, breathing out deeply in relief. “His blood oxygen level is a little higher and his heart beat isn't as irregular any more. He's still running a fever, but this is better, right?”
Tech nods, feeling a little dizzy from all the blood he's transferred to his brother. He'll unhook the connection soon, but a little more wouldn't hurt. Wrecker needs it more.
“Where the kriff is Hunter?” Echo asks. The momentary relief Tech felt is quashed with the realization that they still have an untreated vod out there somewhere.
“Hunter,” Tech speaks into his comlink, “What's your position?”
Heavy breathing is transmitted from his location. “Almost out, be there in a moment.” Hunter says, sounding winded.
“That's good,” Echo says, “And we already know what we're allowed to give Crosshair.”
Tech nods, pulling the iv line from his arm, covering the puncture wound with hastily taped gauze. He shows a lot more caution with Wrecker's arm.
Silence descends on the Marauder as they wait. Wrecker's ragged breathing is the only noise to be heard, made louder by the breath mask on his face.
“You find out what they put in the stims?” Echo asks after a while.
“A variety of things, all in en effort to enhance them,” Tech answers. He doubts the list of chemicals and components would mean anything to Echo. If anything, Wrecker would be the one to recognize them. Chemistry has always been more his thing.
“Why would the Separatists smuggle enhanced stims into the GAR's supplies?” Echo's face pinches in confusion just as the same emotion washes over Tech.
“Separatists?” Tech asks, “You think Separatists did this?”
That seems to baffle Echo even more. “Who else?”
Tech doesn't get to inquire further, Hunter bursting in through the Marauder's door. Immediately, something feels terribly wrong, more wrong than it should be.
Crosshair is limp in his arms, eerily silent. Hunter on the other hand seems to be nearly choking on his own breath. His helmet is still firmly on his head, but as soon as he speaks, Tech knows exactly what kind of expression he's wearing underneath; one of complete horror.
“His heart stopped,” Hunter forces out, confirming Tech's fear.
Mando'a Translation:
Vod/vode – sibling/siblings
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When you see people with muscles that super standout like in superhero movies they are VERY dehydrated. That's the only way to get the muscles to look like that.
Please don't dehydrate my boy! If you look at strongmen competitions they have body fat!
Let Wrecker have body fat!
shoutout to all my dad bod/strongman bod Wrecker truthers
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I love this man's adorable face!
The pout in the first image is peek cuteness
#wrecker wednesday#why yes! I am normal about this man 👀#tbb#the bad batch#tbb wrecker#the bad batch wrecker
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Happy Life Day to all my fellow Star Wars fans!
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By Your Name
Pairing: Wrecker x fem!Reader / Wrecker x Jedi!Reader
Words: 11,228/18,183
Tags/Warnings: angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, forbidden romance, unrequited feelings, love confessions, some kissing and heavy petting, smut in part 2
Summary: Ever since you were assigned to the squad, Wrecker has delighted in calling you pet names in Mando'a — an'edee, cyar'ika, mesh'la, the list goes on. Little does he know, you understand every single one of them, and it's starting to become a problem.
A/N: I wrote this months ago and got around to editing it recently and whoa, was not prepared for the sad. Sorry about that! This is mostly self-contained to part one, with part two being purely a smut add-on for my own amusement. I'll post that next week.
Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist
You hit the ground hard, skidding to a stop face down in the dirt, your whole body aching. The ringing in your ears slowly subsides, and the sounds of battle come back in bits and pieces. The roar of blasterfire, the clatter of droids and metal feet, and crunch of tanks rolling over rubble. You groan and turn yourself over onto your back, coughing and trying to get the taste of dirt out of your mouth, just in time to see a droid bearing down on you, cannon aimed.
You try to move, but you’re completely winded. Your lightsaber was thrown from your grasp when you were sent flying, and it lay several feet away, taunting you with the idea of your own survival. You close your eyes and prepare for the worst, waiting for the searing pain of a laser bolt tearing through you
There’s the sound of metal tearing as a large hand grips the droid’s head and rips it clean off its neck, and your eyes fly open as the metal body falls to the ground in a clatter of lifeless metal, its head still in the hands of your savior.
You look up and meet Wrecker’s eyes, and he pushes his helmet up with the back of his hand to offer you a toothy grin, the droid head held aloft in the other. The relief at seeing him alive and well washes over you like a tide, and you can only manage a weak smile back, your ribs smarting from the impact of your fall.
"That was a close one!" he says, tossing the head away like a child throwing a ball for a dog. It pings off the chest of a droid advancing on the pair of you, sending the metal soldier careening backwards.
"A little too close for my liking," you wheeze, and you take his offered hand. Wrecker pulls you to your feet with ease, the motion tugging you close to his chest, and his arm wraps around you to steady you.
“You okay, cyar’ika?” he shouts over the sound of another tank exploding, a cloud of debris flying up and raining down around you in a shower of dust and smoke. You nod, the movement stiff and stilted, and you pray he doesn’t notice the flush on your cheeks at the use of that Mando'a word.
And that's the problem, isn't it? Cyar’ika, sarad, mesh’la, all the words he said to you in his native tongue, thinking you wouldn't know the difference. It made your heart race and your head spin, and the fact that you understood exactly what they meant only made it worse. It was like a secret between you two, one you weren't supposed to know.
The words made your heart do cartwheels, but the tone he said them in?
That was what was really going to kill you.
The soft way he said the words, the gentle, affectionate way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention, the way his hand seemed to linger on your shoulder after pulling you back up from a fall, the way his smile made your knees weak... It all came together to paint a picture of how Wrecker felt. It was a picture that made your face feel warm and your throat dry, and it was one that was starting to drive you crazy.
It also drove you to distraction, so much so that you hadn't even noticed the AAT firing at you until you were flying through the air.
And now you're here, in Wrecker's arms, your heart beating fast for more than one reason. You take a moment to gather yourself before stepping back, Wrecker's arm falling reluctantly from around your shoulders, and you give him a grin that's a little stronger this time.
"I'm alright, thank you!" you shout back. "We need to stop that tank!"
Wrecker nods, and the two of you turn to face the massive tank, which was slowly making its way through the city, demolishing everything in its path. The cannons swivel back and forth, destroying a building to your right, then to the left, then forward.
You call your lightsaber back into your hand, and it flies past Wrecker's head into your awaiting palm. You ignite the blade and glance at him, and he grins and cracks his knuckles before slamming his helmet back onto his head.
"Ready, cyare?"
Your breath catches in your throat. It wasn't the word you thought he'd use, but the endearment has the same effect. He doesn't seem to realize what he's said, and you decide not to bring it up.
You can think about it later. For now, you had a droid army to stop.
"Ready," you murmur.
Wrecker holds his hand out to the side, bowing his head in a courtly gesture. "After you."
You roll your eyes and step past him, and you feel the heat of his gaze on the back of your neck.
"Keep up, then."
It doesn’t get any easier.
You try your best not to let it affect your performance. You focus on the missions, on keeping your men safe, but Wrecker is always there, with a compliment or a gentle touch, and the feelings grow until they threaten to burst from your chest.
He does everything in his power to make you laugh, and every time he does, your stomach feels like it's doing backflips. He calls you pet names and winks at you, and your knees get weak. He smiles at you, and the world seems to get brighter.
He does everything he can to protect you, and you find yourself falling for him, hard.
And you can't let it show.
So you ignore the feeling, try to bury it deep inside, but you can feel it growing, day by day.
You have never wanted to tell someone how you feel so much, and yet you are absolutely terrified to do it. It's almost funny, really. You’ve stared down the barrel of a blaster a hundred times, fought dozens of battles, and yet this one man is the only one who can make your heart race.
But there's a difference. With the other things, you could always fight back, try to fix the situation. But how can you fight against feelings? How can you stop yourself from falling in love with the most wonderful person you've ever met?
You can't, and you know it.
Every night, you think about telling him, but every morning, the fear stops you. In the light of day, the idea of a Jedi and a clone being together is ridiculous. It's impossible, and you can't risk your career and his life for something so foolish. So, each time, you say nothing, and the words go unsaid, lingering between the two of you, a heavy weight that seems to follow wherever you go.
You try your hardest not to think about it, but it's like a constant buzzing, an annoying insect that's always in your ear, always nipping at your thoughts, always reminding you of something you don't want to deal with. It's dangerous, and distracting, and it makes you worry that someday, someone will find out.
And that's the most terrifying thing of all.
If the Council ever discovered what was going on between you, they would have no choice but to separate the two of you. The thought of never seeing him again fills you with a deep dread, and the knowledge that it could happen at any time drives you crazy.
Every time the thought comes to the forefront of your mind, you try to push it away, and the effort has become a daily struggle. The others have noticed your preoccupation, and have done their best to cheer you up, but even their good-natured attempts have become frustrating, the reminders of what you were trying not to think about grating on your nerves.
The only person who doesn't seem to notice is Wrecker.
It's ironic, really. It's Wrecker who causes all the trouble, and it's him who's oblivious to it. He doesn't know the effect his words have on you, and if he does, he doesn't acknowledge it. Instead, he seems to be more affectionate, more playful, more himself than ever, and the more you try to push away your feelings, the harder they come crashing back.
It's like being caught in a riptide, unable to stop yourself from being pulled farther and farther out, no matter how much you struggle. You wish he would stop, wish he would just back off and let you think, but a part of you doesn't want him to. A part of you wants this, wants him, and it's slowly consuming the rest of you.
The only thing that keeps you sane is the knowledge that you will have to return to Coruscant soon, and that when you do, you can go back to the Order, and put the distance between you that you sorely need.
You can't hide anything from the Council. The Force is your ally and enemy, and it shows you exactly how they would react if they ever found out about you and Wrecker.
Dismissal. Disapproval. Disdain.
All things you're not ready to face, and the sooner you're separated, the better. That thought, the idea that you won't have to see Wrecker every day, helps to soothe your anxiety, and, despite the guilt and sadness it brings, you look forward to the mission ending.
The sooner you can distance yourself from him, the easier it will be.
At least, that's what you tell yourself.
You have no idea how wrong you are.
The tunnel network on Akiva is a mess, a winding labyrinth of tunnels and dead ends. The six of you have been trying to navigate them for hours now, and it's starting to take its toll. You've lost the trail of the tactical droid you're hunting multiple times, only to pick it up again an hour later. Your patience is wearing thin, and the squad is getting restless. You're all tired and hungry, and the dim, flickering lights of the tunnels are giving you a headache.
"How many turns have we made?" Crosshair asks, his voice echoing in the narrow tunnel. He's leading the pack with Hunter, whose trying his best to keep up with the trail, though it's growing colder by the minute.
"I...have lost count," Tech admits bitterly, squinting at the holographic map of the tunnels displayed on his datapad. "Perhaps we should have split up, that would have made the task—"
"Not happening," Wrecker cuts in, his voice firm.
"I wasn't finished," Tech snaps.
"Yeah, but you were gonna suggest splitting up," Wrecker says, "and that ain't gonna happen. We're all staying together."
"Tech, if we split up, we might lose each other," Hunter adds, his voice strained as he concentrates. "This trail is difficult enough to follow as it is. I don't need the distraction of trying to find a missing man on top of it."
Tech opens his mouth to reply, but stops when he catches your eye, and you give him a subtle shake of your head. He sighs and nods, looking back down at his datapad. "As always, the logical course of action is the least popular," he mutters.
Hunter snorts, but says nothing, and you and the rest of the group continue down the tunnel. You trail behind the group, trying to keep your frustration in check, when you suddenly feel a presence behind you, and you glance back to see Wrecker fall into step next to you, a small smile on his face.
"Hey," he says softly, and you can't help but return the expression. You realize what you're doing and try to school your features, but the damage is already done, and Wrecker's smile widens.
"Hi," you murmur.
"You holding up okay?" he asks.
You nod, the movement stiff. "I'm fine."
"You sure? Cause you look like you're ready to kill someone."
You grimace and glance ahead, where the others were slowly disappearing from view, and you lower your voice. "I'm sorry. It's been a long day."
"Ain't that the truth," Wrecker mutters.
"This is a mess," you sigh, glancing around the cramped, dimly lit tunnel. "We're not gonna find anything at this rate."
He shrugs, and his elbow nudges yours gently. "It'll be alright, cyar'ika. We'll find him."
The affectionate word is like a bucket of cold water thrown over your head, and your heart skips a beat. You swallow hard, and nod, hoping he can't see the flush on your cheeks.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Cause we're the best there is," Wrecker says. His arm brushes yours as the pair of you walk, and his fingers bump yours. He pulls his hand back quickly, but not before his fingertips brush against the back of your hand, and you can't suppress the shiver that runs through you. "And we have the best General in the galaxy."
"Stop," you groan, the tips of your ears burning. "I'm not the best. I've gotten us lost three times today, Wrecker. Three. If I was a better General, I would have found this stupid droid by now."
"Hey," he murmurs. "It's not your fault."
You keep your eyes on the ground, but his hand comes up and his fingers brush the back of yours. Your hand twitches, but you don't move, and his thumb runs gently over the back of your hand. You're too distracted by his touch to notice that the group had stopped walking, and it's only when Hunter speaks that you snap back to reality.
"Guys, we've got a problem."
You and Wrecker stop short, and you pull your hand from his quickly, ignoring the way his face falls. You glance up and see the other clones gathered around the entrance to a large cavern, their backs turned to you.
"What's wrong?"
Crosshair steps aside to allow you to join the group, and his eyebrow arches as his eyes flicker between you and Wrecker, a smirk crossing his face. You pointedly ignore him, and he shakes his head before returning his attention to the task at hand.
"Dead end," Hunter says.
"I don't understand," Tech murmurs. He steps forward to scan the walls and floor of the cavern with his datapad, and Echo peers over his shoulder. "According to the map, this tunnel should continue on, not stop at a room."
"Well, clearly it does," Crosshair snarks as he moves past you into the cavern. "Or are we supposed to climb the wall?"
"The structural integrity of these walls is poor," Tech replies. "Climbing would only serve to bring the ceiling down upon us."
"Then how are we supposed to get through?" Echo asks, and you bite your lip, the wheels turning in your mind.
Crosshair's flashlight pans over the walls and floor, illuminating the room, and it's then that you see the marks in the dirt. Footprints, dozens of them, some large, some small. Hunter crouches down and brushes the prints, and he frowns and pulls his glove off, running his fingers along the floor.
"These are fresh," he murmurs.
"So are these," Echo says. He and Crosshair are crouched by the far wall, examining a patch of disturbed dirt. You move to take a step forward when a chill runs up your spine, and you freeze, the hairs on the back of your neck rising.
Something is wrong.
You feel it, the air becoming thick with danger. Your muscles tense, your hands clenching at your sides, and the others must sense it, too. They rise to their feet and turn to you, their weapons ready, and the only sound is the distant dripping of water and the soft whirring of Tech's datapad.
"What is it?" Hunter whispers, his voice barely audible, but you can't answer. Your eyes dart around the cavern, searching for the threat. There's no cover in the room, nowhere to hide, and it's making your skin crawl.
"I don't know," you whisper back.
Suddenly, the ground beneath your feet starts to sha, and the men shout in alarm as the shaking gets worse. Dust falls from the ceiling, and you scramble backwards, trying not to fall as the walls start to crumble.
"Go! Go!" Hunter shouts, and the group bolts for the tunnel. You trip on a stone, and the ground cracks and splits open, swallowing the rocks whole. Wrecker grabs you and pulls you to your feet, and the pair of you race after the others, the cavern falling apart around you.
"This isn't natural!" Tech shouts, and he ducks as a rock flies towards him, missing him by inches. "The droid must have set charges!"
"Doesn't matter! Just keep moving!" Hunter yells.
There's a loud roar, and the ceiling comes crashing down. You barely have time to throw up your hands before the weight of the cave-in hits you, and your arms tremble with the effort of holding it up. Ahead of you, the others shout, but the dust and rocks muffle the sound. Your knees buckle, and the rubble starts to push down on you, your back bowing.
No, no, no, no...
The rocks shift, and your hands slip, and the ceiling starts to come down again, and all you can think is that you're not ready, not ready, not ready—
There's a flash of black, and suddenly Wrecker is diving towards you, his arms wrapping around your waist, and the two of you are thrown to the side, out of the way of the falling rocks. He wraps himself around you, his broad shoulders protecting your head, and the pair of you hit the ground hard as the rest of the cavern collapses.
The impact knocks the wind from your lungs, and you're left gasping for breath, unable to move as the cave-in rages around you, the sounds of the others muffled by the rocks. After what feels like an eternity, the noise and movement ceases, and silence settles in, save for the soft tumble of stones.
Your eyes fly open, and you're greeted with darkness. It takes a moment for them to adjust, and you blink away the grit, a shudder running through you. Your limbs feel heavy, and it's only then that you notice the crushing weight on top of you. You can feel the hard edge of plastoid digging into your chest, something softer cradling your head, and Wrecker's heavy breathing fills your ears.
"Wrecker?" you rasp.
His body moves against yours, and his helmet buried in the crook of your neck, his chest rising and falling as he pants for air.
"Yeah?"
"Are...are you okay?"
He laughs, a soft, wheezy sound, and his grip around you loosens, his arms pulling back, allowing the air to return to your lungs.
"Am I okay? I should be askin' you that!"
You laugh, the sound coming out as a half-sob, and you feel his hand cup the back of your head, his fingers threading gently through your hair. "What...what happened?"
"You almost got crushed," he replies, his voice hoarse. "Had to get you outta there."
You blink rapidly, trying to get the dust out of your eyes, and the dim light illuminates his form. He's curled around you, his body protecting yours, and his arms are still holding you tight, one wrapped around your waist, the other cupping the back of your head, his fingers gently stroking your hair.
"Oh," is all you can manage.
"Yeah," Wrecker chuckles, and his grip tightens. "'Oh' is right."
"How did you...?"
"I dunno," he mutters, and his chest rumbles with his words. "I just knew I had to get to you, no matter what."
"Well, thanks."
You swallow hard, trying to ignore the fluttering in your stomach. His hand is large enough to cradle your entire head, and his thumb gently strokes the skin of your neck. You're suddenly hyper-aware of the feeling of him pressed against you, the weight of him, the warmth, the smell of metal and dirt and sweat, and you can't help the way your face heats up.
Your hand pushes at his chest plate, and his grip on you loosens. "Uh, we should—"
"Right!" Wrecker exclaims as his arms unwrap from around you. "Sorry!"
"No, no, it's okay!"
"I shoulda let go sooner," he babbles, and you can hear the flush in his voice. "I didn't mean to..."
"It's fine," you assure him, and you sit up, wincing at the aches and pains in your body. You can hear him move beside you, his armor scraping the floor as he stands, and a moment later, a gloved hand appears in front of your face.
"Need a hand?"
"Thanks," you say, and Wrecker helps you up. The pair of you stand for a moment, listening to the silence around you. The room is dark, the only illumination coming from the narrow gaps in the stones above you, and the occasional shift sends dust falling from the ceiling.
“—al…Wrecker! Are you alright?" Hunter's voice crackles through the comms, the sound distorted by static.
"I'm okay," Wrecker replies, stepping back a little as he activates his comm. He pauses and glances down at you, and his head tilts slightly, like he's looking you over.
"What is it?" you ask, and Wrecker hesitates, his fingers brushing yours.
"You sure you're alright, cyar'ika?"
The endearment is like a slap to the face, and you blink rapidly, taken aback.
"I'm fine, thank you," you say, trying to keep your voice steady.
Wrecker doesn't seem convinced, and his fingers curl around yours. "You don't sound fine."
"I am."
"Really?"
"Yes, Wrecker," you snap. "I'm fine."
"Wrecker, report!" Hunter's voice demands, and Wrecker pulls his hand from yours and activates his comm again.
"We're okay," he says. "Me and the General."
"Thank the Maker," Hunter replies. "What happened?"
You let Wrecker answer while you try to calm yourself, your heart pounding against your ribs. It's just a word, you tell yourself, and yet the knowledge that he was willing to put himself in harm's way, risk being crushed by the rocks just to get to you...
You're not sure how much more of this you can take.
"Is anyone injured?" you ask, cutting off Wrecker mid-sentence.
"No," Hunter replies. "A few bumps and bruises, nothing serious."
"Good," you say. You walk toward the wall of rubble, reaching out with the Force and testing it, searching for a way out. There are gaps here and there, large enough for a person to fit through, but the amount of debris is daunting, and you know that without tools, the task would take hours.
"Well, this is a karking mess," Crosshair grumbles, speaking your thoughts aloud.
“You can say that again,” you say. “We’ll try to dig our way out, but it might take a while."
“Negative,” Tech’s voice cuts in immediately. “This tunnel system is too unstable. Any further attempts to excavate the debris could result in further cave-ins, which could cause catastrophic structural damage.”
You sigh, leaning your head against the rocks. "So we're stuck?"
"It would appear so," Tech replies, and you can practically hear him grimace.
“What are your orders, General?” Echo asks. You can tell by the sound of his voice that he knows what you’re about to say, but the question still makes your stomach twist. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, but the feeling of the walls closing in is growing, and the anxiety is starting to become overwhelming.
"You're going to have to leave us," you say softly.
The words are met with a chorus of protests, and you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to block out the noise. Behind you, Wrecker has fallen silent, and his eyes are burning into the back of your skull, his presence looming, waiting.
"You'll be walking blind," Hunter argues. "Without Tech, you could get lost."
"Or crushed," Crosshair snarks.
"It's dangerous," Echo adds.
"It is," you reply. "But we can't stay here. We need to find the tactical droid, and the longer we wait, the colder the trail gets. So get moving. That's an order."
There's a moment of silence, then: "Copy that."
“May the Force be with you,” you reply, and you turn off your comm and close your eyes.
The silence seems deafening after the sound of the voices, and you stand there for a moment, collecting yourself. You can still feel Wrecker behind you, and his presence is as comforting as it is suffocating. You take a deep breath and steel yourself before turning to face him, and you offer him a small smile.
"Ready to get outta here?"
He doesn't reply, and his gaze is so intense that it makes your skin crawl. You clear your throat and glance away, and when you look back, he's still staring.
"Wrecker?"
"You really think they're gonna leave us here?"
"They don't have a choice," you say gently. "And neither do we."
He grunts, but says nothing, and he turns away to scan the rubble, the flashlight on his helmet casting eerie shadows on the walls. You watch him as he walks the perimeter of the cave, and it's not until he's made his third trip around the space that he speaks again.
"There's a gap over here," he calls, and you cross the cavern to join him.
He's right; the rocks have formed a tunnel, large enough for you to crawl through, and when you peek through the other side, the tunnel stretches on for several meters, the walls and floor clear of debris.
"Well, at least we have somewhere to start," you murmur.
"I'll go first," Wrecker offer, and he drops to his knees and crawls into the opening, his wide shoulders brushing the stone. You follow close behind, crawling over the jagged rocks, and when you reach the other side, Wrecker grabs your arm and helps you stand.
"Thanks," you murmur, and the pair of you turn and shine your lights down the tunnel. It stretches on ahead of you, twisting and turning, the path vanishing around a corner.
"When I get my hands on that droid..." Wrecker growls.
"If I don't get to it first," you mutter, and the two of you set off down the tunnel.
It's slow-going, with the two of you constantly checking for traps or pitfalls, and the longer you walk, the more nervous you become. It's too quiet, and the tension between you and Wrecker is thick, like an unspoken word lingering in the air.
You've been trying to think of something to say, but every time you open your mouth, your throat dries up, and the words die on your tongue. Every time, you convince yourself to tell him how you feel, and how you can't deal with his attention, his affection, but each time, your nerves get the better of you, and you lose the courage.
After a while, you turn and glance back at him, and his gaze is locked on you, his head tilted.
"What?" you ask, and the word is sharper than you intended, but the tension is starting to make your skin itch.
"Nothin'," he says. You can hear the smile in his voice, and you sigh and look ahead again, trying not to think about his eyes on you.
"Stop looking at me like that," you grumble.
"Like what?" he asks, his voice low.
"I don't know," you say, your frustration getting the better of you. "Just...just stop."
He falls silent, and you bite the inside of your cheek, the guilt starting to eat at you. It's not his fault, you remind yourself. You're the one who has the problem. He's doing what he always does, and it's driving you insane, and he has no idea, and it's not his fault, it's yours.
"I'm sorry," you murmur.
"No, no, it's okay," he replies. "I'll...I'll try not to stare."
You can hear the disappointment in his voice, and you swallow the lump in your throat. It's not his fault, it's yours.
"Thank you," is all you manage to say.
Silence settles in again, and the two of you continue on, your footsteps echoing off the walls. Wrecker keeps his promise and doesn't look at you, and it only makes the tension worse, the distance between you yawning wider.
It's hard to see anything in the dark, and the tunnel seems endless. The walls are crumbling, and the ceiling is low, and every time the stone shifts, you're afraid the tunnel will collapse on you, and that'll be the end of the Jedi and her trooper, crushed in the tunnels on Akiva. It's not the way you expected to go out, but you suppose it could be worse.
It's not a very Jedi-like thought, and you shake your head, trying to clear your mind. The exhaustion is starting to creep up on you, the long day finally catching up, and you're not sure how much longer you can stay focused.
"You okay, mesh'la?"
Wrecker's voice, soft and low, catches you by surprise, and you glance up to see him watching you, his head cocked. You're not sure what's worse, the fact that he can see right through you, or the fact that he's still calling you those names.
"Fine," you lie, turning away so he can't see your face. "Just tired."
"We can stop if you want," he offers. "Rest for a bit."
"No," you say, forcing a laugh. "I'll be fine. We need to keep going."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay," he replies. "But tell me if you need to stop."
You nod and walk a little faster, leaving him behind. The sound of his footsteps behind you makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and it takes all your self-control not to turn around.
You need the distance.
The longer the two of you are together, the closer you feel to him, and the closer you feel to him, the harder it will be to say goodbye. And if the way he looks at you, the softness in his voice when he speaks, the gentle brush of his hand against yours is anything to go by, Wrecker isn't planning on leaving your side anytime soon.
The thought makes your heart swell, but you push it down, ignoring the longing it brings. You can't get attached. You can't let him get attached. It's not fair to either of you.
Wrecker's hand finds your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. His grip is firm, but not painful, and his fingers gently squeeze, pulling you back a step.
"Cyar'ika, slow down," he murmurs. "Don't go runnin' off."
"Sorry," you mutter, and his thumb runs over your shoulder.
"S'okay. Just be careful."
He doesn't release you, and his grip stays on your shoulder, his thumb running gently over the fabric of your robes. You should pull away, should shrug his hand off, but his touch is comforting, and you can't help but lean into it.
"I will."
You don't move, and his fingers stroke your shoulder, the motion slow and rhythmic.
"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.
"Nothing."
"Don't give me that," he says. "There's something bothering you. I can tell."
"It's nothing, Wrecker," you say, and this time, your words are firm. His grip on your shoulder tightens, not painfully, just enough to make his presence known. "Everything's fine."
"You can talk to me, y'know," he says, and the gentleness in his voice makes your throat close up. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you."
You stare at him, torn between wanting to scream and wanting to cry. Instead, you take a deep breath and let it out slowly. You can't do this right now. You can't handle his concern, his kindness, his affection.
"I said I'm fine," you say, your voice tight. "Just drop it, Wrecker."
He stares at you for a moment, then his hand slips from your shoulder and falls to his side.
"Okay," he says flatly. "I'm sorry."
You want to reach out and grab him, pull him back and apologize, but you can't. You can't even bring yourself to say anything, to explain yourself. You just watch him as he walks away, and the distance between you feels like a chasm. He's only a few steps away, but it might as well be miles.
You stand there, frozen, for what feels like an eternity, before finally you turn and start walking again. The silence is unbearable, but there's nothing you can do. You're trapped, with nowhere to go, and the man you care about most is walking away from you. It's a helpless, hopeless feeling, and you can't shake it. But you have to keep moving, so you do.
At some point, Hunter checks in and lets you know they're close to finding the T-1, but the knowledge does little to ease the pain in your chest. You keep walking, pushing yourself as fast as you can, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. The darkness, the silence, and the weight of your emotions seem to swallow you whole.
Wrecker doesn't seem to be faring much better. He keeps casting glances your way, and his posture is tense, his steps heavy. You know he wants to talk to you, but the words won't come. So you both suffer in silence, each step feeling like a betrayal, and the air is thick with things left unsaid.
When the two of you finally reach the end of the tunnel, the sun has started to set, casting the world outside in shades of orange and gold. The entrance opens into a field, the long grass swaying in the wind, and the sky is a vibrant shade of purple. It's a welcome relief from the stifling confines of the tunnel, and the sight of the sky is enough to make your heart ache.
I never want to be underground again, you think, and you take a deep breath, relishing the taste of the air. Beside you, Wrecker does the same, ripping off his helmet and sucking in a deep lungful of air.
"Fresh air," he groans. "I love fresh air."
"Me too," you murmur.
His head turns, and he smiles. "Glad we're outta there, cyar'ika?"
The affectionate word is enough to ruin the mood, and you glance away. "Yes. Glad."
"Good," he replies. His voice is soft, and when you look up, he's staring at you, his eyes searching your face. You want to look away, to avoid his gaze, but his eyes are like a magnet, drawing you in.
"Wrecker—"
"There you are!"
The sound of Hunter's voice startles you, and you tear your gaze away from Wrecker's to find the rest of the squad running towards you. Tech has his datapad in his hand, and his eyes are bright with triumph.
"I have good news," he says. "The tactical droid is—"
"Dead," Crosshair interrupts, and he tosses something at you. You reach up and catch the object, and the metal is still warm from Crosshair's grip. It's the head of a tactical droid, its expression fixed in a permanent nonplussed grimace, the red light behind its eyes extinguished.
"How...?"
"Hunter ripped it apart," Echo explains.
"I didn't like the way it was talking," Hunter mutters, and his shoulders shift uncomfortably.
"So, that's it, then?" Wrecker asks.
"Yep," Echo says. "Mission's done."
"Then let's go home," you sigh.
The men cheer, and the squad gathers around, jostling each other playfully. You smile at the display, and the weight on your chest starts to lift. You're free, the mission's over, and everything is going to go back to normal. It's a relief, and yet...
Your gaze wanders, and your eyes find Wrecker, and your chest aches. His expression is bright, a grin splitting his face, but his eyes are dark, and his smile doesn't reach them. Your hand tightens around the droid's head, and the guilt is almost unbearable.
It's better this way. You remind yourself. Safer. For both of us.
You can't risk the Council discovering what's been going on. If they ever found out, the repercussions would be disastrous. The thought of the men being punished for something that's your fault makes your stomach turn, and the idea of losing them, of never seeing Wrecker again...it's too much.
So you put on a smile and try not to think about the future, try not to think about what's waiting for you, the distance that will grow between you, the way you'll feel when the time comes to say goodbye.
The six of you pile into the ship, and Tech takes the controls, lifting the ship off the ground and flying into the evening sky. The takeoff is bumpy, and the ship groans under the strain, but eventually, you're in the air.
All you want to do is hide in your bunk, but there's a debrief to be done. Hunter is giving his report, and you're trying to pay attention, but all you can think about is the look on Wrecker's face.
You can't get it out of your head, and it's starting to drive you crazy. He was so happy when you got out of the tunnel, and now he looks like he's in pain, and you're the cause. You hate yourself for it, but the fear is still there, lingering, a constant reminder of the dangers that await you, and it's enough to make you stay away.
"We made it out with a few scrapes, but nothing too bad," Hunter finishes. He turns his head, looking between you and Wrecker. "What about the two of you?"
You open your mouth to answer, but the words die on your tongue, and the silence grows. All eyes are on you, and the longer you wait, the more concerned the men become. You look at Wrecker, hoping he'll say something, but he doesn't. He's staring at the floor, his shoulders tense.
"Uh, we're fine," you reply, and the words feel like glass. "No injuries. We're...we're good."
Wrecker scoffs and pushes himself out of his seat, stalking out of the cockpit. You watch him leave, a knot forming in your throat.
"That's odd," Tech murmurs, his eyes following Wrecker.
"Yeah," Hunter mutters. He shakes his head and sighs, then follows Wrecker, leaving you alone with the others
Crosshair raises an eyebrow and turns to look at you, his sharp eyes scanning your face. "Well?"
"What?"
"You really expect us to believe that?" he asks, his tone mocking. "You're a terrible liar, General."
You glance between him and Echo, and both of them are staring at you, their expressions unreadable. You swallow hard and force a laugh, shaking your head.
"There's nothing to tell."
"If there was nothing to tell, Wrecker wouldn't be sulking," Echo points out.
"And you wouldn't be sitting here looking like you're about to throw up," Crosshair adds.
"I am not," you argue.
"Oh, please," Crosshair snorts. "It's written all over your face."
"It's pretty obvious," Echo says, his voice gentler than Crosshair's. "What's wrong?"
You shake your head and rise to your feet. "Nothing."
"We're not gonna leave this alone," Crosshair calls after you.
"We're worried about you," Echo adds.
"Fine," you say, trying not to sound as defeated as you feel. "Worry. It doesn't matter. We'll be on Coruscant soon, and then I won't be your problem anymore."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Echo asks, his voice sharp, but you ignore him and keep walking. You can hear them arguing, their voices rising, and the words they're throwing at each other make your stomach churn. You keep your head down and keep walking, but before you can reach the bunks, you see Hunter and Wrecker. They're standing in the middle of the hallway, their backs to you, and Hunter's hand is on Wrecker's shoulder.
"—just give her some space," Hunter is saying.
"But she's—"
"She's fine," Hunter cuts in. "She just needs some time to herself. You've been a little clingy, and she needs a break."
Wrecker's shoulders stiffen, and the hurt in his voice is palpable. "Is that what she told you?"
"Well, no," Hunter says slowly. "But—"
"Then how do you know?" Wrecker demands, pulling away. "How do you know that's what she wants? How do you know she doesn't..." He trails off, his voice thick, and he turns, and his eyes land on you. The two of you stare at each other, the space between you charged with emotion, and when he speaks again, his words are quiet, and heartbreaking. "...want me?"
"She's a Jedi," Hunter says softly. "They don't...feel those kinds of things."
Wrecker stares at you, his expression open, the longing on his face so plain, so obvious, that your knees feel weak. You can't take it anymore. You turn away, ducking into the refresher and locking the door behind you
The room is silent, the air still. There's no sound but the pounding of your heart, the blood roaring in your ears. You lean against the door and slide to the floor, wrapping your arms around your knees.
You know what you have to do, but the idea is terrifying, the thought of saying goodbye to Wrecker too painful to bear. But he's hurting, and it's because of you. You can't put him through that, not any longer. He deserves better. He deserves someone who can be with him, can give him the affection he deserves, not a cowardly Jedi who can't handle the consequences of her actions.
The realization hurts more than you thought it would, but there's nothing you can do. You've known all along that this would have to end someday, and that someday has come.
The only thing you can do is let him go.
The next day passes in a blur, and the tension is thick in the air. Wrecker doesn't say a word, doesn't look at you, doesn't acknowledge your presence, and you're grateful for it. You can't bring yourself to look at him, and the others are quick to pick up on the change. They cast furtive glances at each other, their concern growing, and their efforts to cheer you up only make the situation worse. You'd much rather they focus their attentions on Wrecker, so you avoid all of them as best you can.
It's easier this way. Safer. Less painful.
And maybe, if you keep telling yourself that, you'll start to believe it.
Once you land on Kashyyyk to refuel, the five of them disappear into the village, leaving you alone to meditate. It's the one thing that can help you clear your mind, and you welcome the chance to relax.
The ship is silent, the hum of the engine the only noise, and the quiet helps soothe the ache in your chest. You close your eyes and settle onto the floor, clearing your mind and reaching out with the Force.
When you were a youngling, you were told that the Force was your ally, and you believed it. Now, you know better. The Force doesn't take sides. It simply is. It exists in everything, every living thing, and sometimes, when you meditate, you can feel it. It's a gentle brush against your senses, like a soft caress, and you let yourself sink into the feeling, allowing it to envelop you, and for a moment, everything seems to fade away.
That's why, when you hear the sound of someone approaching, you're startled, and your eyes fly open. You frown, remembering Hunter saying he'd comm you when the others were headed back. It's more than likely Tech sneaking away from the group to tinker with the ship, and so you stand, turning towards the sound.
What you see instead, however, makes your blood run cold.
Wrecker is standing at the top of the ramp, his form silhouetted by the light outside, his eyes burning into you. You're frozen in place, unable to move, unable to think. All you can do is stare at him, trying to make sense of the expression on his face, but all you can see is anger, and your heart sinks.
"What's going on?" he asks. His voice is low, but there's an edge to it, and his shoulders are stiff.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm talking about the way you've been acting," he says, stepping further into the ship. "Ever since we left Akiva, you've been avoiding me. Why?"
"I haven't been avoiding you," you lie, turning away from him.
"Like kriff, you haven't!" he exclaims, and you flinch, the anger in his voice catching you off guard. "I've tried to talk to you, and you walk away! You won't even look at me!"
"That's not true," you argue. "I'm always—"
"Yeah, it is," he snaps. "You think I don't notice, but I do. You're always running away, avoiding me. Why? Just tell me why. Talk to me. Please."
"Wrecker..."
"Don't say my name like that," he pleads, his voice cracking. "Don't push me away. Please, cyar'ika, I need to know what's going on."
The endearment sends a jolt through your system, and you squeeze your eyes shut, trying not to cry. You've spent the past twenty-four hours doing nothing but thinking about this, trying to steel yourself for what's to come, and yet here he is, begging for answers, and you're not ready. You can't bring yourself to say the words, can't bring yourself to push him away, but if you don't, it will only get harder.
"Please," he whispers. "What did I do? How did I hurt you?"
You can't look at him, but you can't ignore him, either. The last thing you want is for him to think any of this is his fault, and so you force yourself to turn, your eyes meeting his, and your resolve breaks.
"You didn't," you murmur. "It's not your fault, I promise."
"Then tell me what's wrong," he pleads, and his voice is soft, and the desperation in it is enough to break your heart. "Tell me what I can do to fix this."
Wrecker reaches out and takes a step towards you, his hand outstretched, but the gesture is hesitant, almost as if he's afraid to touch you. When you don't move away, he steps closer, his fingers brushing the hem of your sleeve. His gaze is intense, his eyes searching yours, and the ache in his voice is enough to make you want to scream.
"I'm not good at this," he admits. "This...talking stuff. I never know what to say, and I'm sorry. If I made you uncomfortable, or did somethin' wrong, I'm sorry."
"Wrecker..."
"I just want to make things right," he whispers, and his fingers curl around your sleeve. "Just tell me how, and I'll do it. I'll fix it."
He's so earnest, so sincere, and the guilt is crushing. You can't lie to him, not anymore. Not when he's looking at you like this.
"It's not that simple," you say, and the words feel like lead in your mouth.
"Why not?" he asks, his voice raw.
"Because," you say, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. "Because I can't do this anymore, Wrecker. I can't..." You trail off, the words dying on your tongue. You can't bring yourself to say them, can't bring yourself to end things like this. But it's too late. He knows.
He drops his hand, and the look of pain on his face is almost enough to break your heart.
"Do what?" he asks, his voice shaking.
"This," you say, gesturing between the two of you. "Whatever this is. I can't keep pretending that I don't know what you mean when you call me those names. I can't keep acting like it's nothing, because it's not."
Wrecker stumbles back a step, eyes wide.
"You knew?" he asks, and his voice is barely audible. "This whole time...?"
"Of course I knew," you say, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. "You think I could have missed it?" You try to laugh, but it comes out as a choked sob. "You're not exactly subtle, Wrecker."
"Oh," he says, and the single word holds a world of hurt. He turns away from you, his hands curling into fists at his sides, and the tension in the air is palpable. A heavy silence settles in, and when he speaks again, his voice is a hoarse whisper.
"Why didn't you say something?" he asks. "Why didn't you tell me to stop?"
"I couldn't," you say, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I...I liked it too much."
"What?" Wrecker turns, his head snapping around to face you, and his expression is torn between hope and horror.
"You heard me," you say, fighting to keep your voice steady. You turn away, but his hand finds your chin, gently tilting your face back to his. The heat of his palm burns into your skin, his touch so gentle, and your heart leaps into your throat.
"Then why are you doing this?" he asks, and the words are barely audible. "If you like it, why are you trying to push me away?"
You close your eyes, trying to gather your thoughts. It's a good question, and one you're not sure you can answer.
"Because," you start, and then trail off. When you open your eyes, his face is inches from yours, and the pain in his eyes is overwhelming. "Because I'm not meant for this. For us." You motion between the two of you. "I have a duty. A responsibility. I can't...I can't give you what you want. What you deserve."
"But I don't want anyone else,” Wrecker says softly, his thumb brushing your cheek. "I just want you."
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you close your eyes, trying not to cry. You can feel the warmth of his body, the weight of his hand, the scent of him surrounding you. You want to pull away, to run and hide, but the way his hands cradle your face, the gentleness in his touch, makes it impossible.
"You don't mean that," you whisper, the words like poison. "You can't. I'm a Jedi. You know what that means. You know what my life is. I can't give you anything, Wrecker. I can't even be there for you. I can't..."
"Stop," he whispers.
His hands drop, moving to your shoulders, and he turns you, pulling you closer. You let him, and his arms wrap around you, his forehead resting against yours. The touch is warm and gentle, and his eyes are soft, full of pain and love.
He's never been anything but gentle with you, even when he didn't have to be. Even when the mission demanded he take risks, put his life on the line, he was always careful with you. Always protective. Always gentle. And now, here, when the mission is over, the danger gone, he's still treating you like something precious, something to be treasured.
It's too much.
"Don't say that," he murmurs, his voice low and rough. "You don't get to tell me how I feel. You can't decide for me, cyar'ika. I'm not gonna change my mind. I'm not gonna stop caring about you. So just...just stop. Okay?"
Your hands find his, curling around his wrists. His pulse is pounding under your fingertips, and his chest is rising and falling with each breath, the beat of his heart matching the rhythm of yours. It would be so easy, so tempting, to let yourself give in. To give him the answer he wants. To give him the one thing you've wanted to give him for so long.
But you can't. You can't let him sacrifice his future, his happiness, for you. It's too much. Too selfish.
"Wrecker, please," you say, squeezing his wrists. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."
"Then don't do this," he whispers. "Don't walk away from me. Please." His voice breaks, and his fingers dig into your shoulders. "Just...just give me a chance."
You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to hit him, to shove him away, but you can't. All you can do is stare up at him, his face inches from yours, his eyes begging. It would be so easy, and yet, impossibly difficult. If you do this, if you give in, it's not just your life on the line, but his. If you give him what he wants, if you allow him to care for you, it will only lead to more heartbreak. More pain.
And yet...
You can't bring yourself to pull away, can't bring yourself to deny him. And, if you're honest with yourself, you don't want to. You've wanted this for so long, wanted him, and now that the moment has finally come, the opportunity has presented itself, you can't let it go.
"I can't," you whisper, your voice shaking.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm scared," you confess. You reach out and cup his cheek, running your thumb over the scarred tissue beneath his eye, and his expression softens. "I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm not supposed to...to love you." The words come out choked, and the tears in your eyes blur your vision. "It's wrong. It's forbidden. It's...it's..."
"It's what?" he asks, his voice rough with emotion. "It's amazing? It's the best feeling in the galaxy?"
"Yes," you whisper, and the tears spill over. "But I can't do this. I can't...I can't let you sacrifice yourself for me."
"You think that's what I'm doing?" Wrecker asks. His hand slips from your shoulder, his fingers stroking your cheek, catching a tear as it falls. "Cyar'ika, I'd sacrifice myself for you a hundred times over. You think I care about what they'd say? They can go kriff themselves. I'd fight every single member of the Council for you, if I had to. But I don't need to. 'Cause they can't tell me what to do, and neither can you."
"You say that now," you mutter. "But—"
"I'll say it every day," he cuts in. "Every single day until you believe me. I don't care about them. I don't care about the rules. I just want you."
"Wrecker, stop," you whisper, but he shakes his head, his hands cupping your face, his thumbs brushing your cheeks.
"I know you're scared. I know you're worried about what's going to happen. But we don't have to think about that. We can just be together. Just us. Nobody has to know. We can figure this out. Together. But you gotta let me in."
You stare at him, stunned by the strength and certainty in his words. He's right. You are scared. You're terrified. And not just of what the Council will do, or what the consequences might be.
You're afraid of him, of the power he holds over you, the way you feel about him. But standing here, with his hands on your face, his eyes searching yours, it's enough to make you reconsider. Enough to make you question everything. And so you swallow your fears, and you say the words.
"I love you, Wrecker."
His lips part, and his eyes widen, and the sound that comes out of his mouth is halfway between a laugh and a sob.
"You mean that?" he asks, his voice tight with emotion.
"Yes," you say, and the word is like a weight lifting off your shoulders. "I do. I love you."
His arms slip around your waist, and he pulls you into him, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath warm on your face. He doesn't say anything, just stares down at you, his gaze burning, and the silence stretches on, charged with anticipation. And then, finally, he speaks.
"I love you too, cyar'ika," he says, his voice trembling. "More than you know."
Your heart feels like it's going to burst. You pull him close, burying your face in his chest, and his arms wrap around you, holding you tight. It's an overwhelming feeling, this affection, this love, but you can't deny it. Not anymore. And as you stand there, his body wrapped around yours, his hands running through your hair, you know that he's right.
"Don't let go," you whisper, your voice muffled by his armor. "Please, don't ever let me go."
"I won't," he says, his voice a rumble in his chest. "I got you, an'edee. Always."
The words send a jolt of warmth through your body, and you melt into him, allowing yourself to be swept away by the feeling. It's like coming home, the warmth and comfort washing over you, and the tension melts away, leaving only relief in its wake.
You're not sure how long you stay there, wrapped up in each other, but when he finally pulls away, you're stunned by the look in his eyes. No one has ever looked at you like that. No one has ever seen you like he does.
"Better?" he asks, his voice gentle.
"Yes," you say, smiling up at him. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me," he says. "You don't gotta thank me. Just keep lookin' at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you love me," he murmurs.
"Oh," you reply, blushing. "Well, then, I suppose I should do my best. It wouldn't do for me to fail in that regard."
He chuckles, his hands sliding up your sides. "No, it wouldn't."
You shiver at his touch, the heat of his hands sinking into your skin. His palms are rough and calloused, and his fingers are gentle, tracing the curve of your waist. Your eyes meet, and his smile is so wide, so warm, that you can't help but return it.
"So," he says, his hands drifting lower. "Where does this leave us?"
"Us?"
"Yeah. You know, our relationship," he says. "Are we...together? Or do I still gotta keep pretendin' that you're just a friend?"
You sigh, a smile tugging at your lips. "Together, Wrecker. We're together."
"Good," he grins, his eyes bright. "'Cause I wasn't sure how much longer I could take it. Having you around, knowing how I felt, not being able to do anything about it."
"That's why I was avoiding you," you admit. "I knew if I had to spend much more time with you, I was going to break. I was already having trouble controlling my feelings. If we'd had another mission, I don't think I would have made it. I was so close to telling you how I felt."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Kriff, cyar'ika," he groans, his grip on your waist tightening. "I wish you would've said something sooner. Woulda made things a lot easier."
"I'm sorry," you murmur.
"Don't apologize," he says, his voice husky. "You're worth the wait."
Your breath catches in your throat, and his eyes flick to yours, and his grin turns mischievous.
"What is it, mesh'la?" he asks, his fingers digging into your hips. "Tell me."
"I, um..." You clear your throat, trying to ignore the way his voice makes your insides turn to mush. "It's just that...when you call me those names, it, uh, does things to me."
"Good things?" he asks, leaning in.
"Yes."
"You want me to keep saying them, then?"
"Yes."
"Well, I can do that," he murmurs. His breath is warm on your skin, his voice low and teasing. "And I can do a lot more, too. If you want me to."
You stare up at him, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, trying not to let your desire show on your face. You've never done anything like this, never even considered doing something like this. And yet, the idea of him touching you, kissing you, fills you with anticipation.
"I'd like that," you manage, your voice hoarse.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
He nods, and he leans down, his lips ghosting over yours. His eyes search your face, and he waits, and when you nod, he presses his lips to yours.
It's a slow, soft kiss, the barest brush of skin on skin. But the contact sends a thrill through your body, and you can't help but press closer, wanting more. Your hands move to the back of his neck, pushing yourself onto the tips of your toes, and he obliges, pulling you in.
His lips are warm, his tongue slick and hot as it traces the seam of your mouth. You open for him, letting him deepen the kiss, and his palm slides up your back, cradling your head. His thumb strokes your cheek, and the gentleness of the gesture sends a rush of warmth through your veins.
When the two of you finally break apart, your lungs are aching, and his breath is ragged. He leans his forehead against yours, his fingers tracing lazy circles on the back of your neck.
"Kriff, cyar'ika," he whispers, and the name sends a thrill through you. You can hear the longing, the need, in his voice, and it's enough to make your knees weak. "Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this?"
"Tell me," you say, your voice shaking.
"Too long," he murmurs. "Far too long."
You lean back, looking up at him. The adoration in his eyes takes your breath away, and you pull him down, kissing him again. This time, the kiss is deeper, more intense, and you can't hold back a moan as his tongue slips past your lips.
The noise seems to ignite something in him, because the next thing you know, his arms are around you, lifting you up with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in, and his hands roam over your back, sliding down to cup your ass. He breaks the kiss, his lips moving to your neck, and the heat of his mouth, the scrape of his teeth, makes you gasp.
Wrecker sets you down on the edge of your bunk, and the height difference is suddenly very apparent. You're not used to being on eye level with him, but now, with your legs spread, his body between them, it's impossible not to notice. His gaze rakes over you, taking in every detail, and the hunger in his eyes sends a jolt of excitement through your body.
"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, his fingers tracing the line of your jaw. He sounds awed, like he can't believe his luck, and the compliment makes your heart flutter. "So kriffing beautiful, cyar'ika."
You lean into his touch, and his fingers brush against your lips, the callouses of his hands rough against your skin. You kiss his fingertips, and the heat in his gaze makes you blush.
"Not as beautiful as you," you murmur. He shakes his head with a wide grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
"No one's as beautiful as you," Wrecker says, his hand finding yours. His fingers lace with yours, and he raises your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of your knuckles. His touch is gentle, and the tenderness of the gesture makes your heart clench. "I could look at you forever. Never get tired of it."
The heat on your cheeks is unbearable, and you're not sure how to respond. Words can't capture the emotions coursing through you, and so you lean in, your lips meeting his in a searing kiss. He groans against your mouth, his hand finding the small of your back and pulling you flush against him.
You wrap your legs around him, the need to be closer, to feel his body pressed against yours, overwhelming. He seems to understand, his fingers tangling in your hair, his teeth nipping at your lip.
"I'm gonna take such good care of you, cyar'ika," he promises, his voice rough with emotion. "Promise."
"You already have," you whisper. "Just having you here is more than I deserve."
"Don't talk like that," he mutters. His hand slides up, cupping the back of your head, and he kisses the corner of your mouth. He tilts your face up to meet his, and the intensity of his gaze is almost overwhelming. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. I'm not gonna give that up. You're mine, and I'm not lettin' go."
The words are a jolt to your system, the possessiveness of his tone making you tremble. He's always been protective of you, but this is different. This is more than just a desire to keep you safe. This is something else entirely. You can't find the words to respond, and so you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat and praying the tears in your eyes don't spill over.
"Wrecker," you whisper. "I..."
"I love you," he murmurs, his nose brushing against yours. "So much."
The words are a balm on your aching heart, and the tears finally fall. Wrecker leans in and kisses them away, his lips soft and gentle against your cheeks. The tenderness, the closeness, it's too much to bear, and the emotions welling up inside you are overwhelming. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest, and he holds you tight, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.
"I got you," he whispers. "It's okay. You're okay."
"I'm sorry," you murmur. "I don't know why I'm crying."
"I do," he replies. He cups your chin, tilting your face up to meet his. His eyes are soft, and his lips curl into a gentle smile. "You've been through a lot, and you're tired. You're allowed to cry."
You nod, wiping the tears from your face. He's right. The past few days have been exhausting, emotionally and physically. Between the mission, the tension between the two of you, the anxiety and uncertainty, it's a miracle you're not falling apart.
"Hey," he murmurs. "Stop thinking so hard. It's okay."
"I'm not supposed to let my emotions get the best of me," you murmur.
"That's some banthashit, an'edee," he says, and his voice is teasing, but there's a hint of steel in it. "You're human. You're allowed to have emotions."
"I suppose," you reply, unable to keep the smile off your face.
"Good," he says, and his thumb strokes your cheek. "We'll make this work. We'll find a way."
"Wrecker," you sigh.
"Shh," he cuts in. "None of that. We're together, right?"
"Right."
"Then trust me. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you," he promises. "I'll keep you safe."
"I know," you whisper, closing your eyes.
"We'll figure it out," Wrecker says. "It might be hard, but we'll find a way. We always do."
He leans in and kisses you again, his lips soft and warm. You kiss him back, allowing yourself to give in, to let go of the fear and worry, to let yourself be swept away by the feeling. He's right. It will be difficult, but it's worth it.
This is where you belong, in his arms, and no matter what the future holds, no matter what the Order says, no matter the consequences, you know you'll always have him. And that's more than you could have ever hoped for.
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May the 4th be with you! :D
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We know where Pabu is!!!
The Chopani sector! Home of the Void of Chopani!
The fact that it's in bumf*ck nowhere in the outer rim explains why the Empire never bothered to go back.
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Tech is tall. He discovered it can be a tactical advantage in the affairs of the heart
Reference image for first drawing under cut
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Artful ARC trooper strategies #2
New day, new prey. But it's not exactly clear who the prey is.
Wrecker doesn’t take long to give hugs.
Collab with @eobe (precious creature) My and Eo's vibes go beyond our DMs. @the-bi-space-ace on the other side of the Holonet just posted ours Artful ARC trooper strategies #2 thoughts without knowing it. Check it out
Keep applauding to @astral-veil
Artful ARC trooper strategies #1
Spamming today. Oh, well
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Little sibling vibes
#wrecker wednesday#tbb#tbb wrecker#tbb omega#the bad batch#the bad batch wrecker#the bad batch omega
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Wrecker Appreciation Post to serve as a manifestation of his continued well being.
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I know everyone likes to thirst over Hunter's waist, but like...
*gestures*
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Just dropping a bunch of screenshots of our bestest boy
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Truuuuuue!!!
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