teenageconnoisseurmentality - Tumblr blog

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the earliest recorded homestuck reference was made in the book of exodus when israel is referred to as the “land of milk and honey”

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Been dealing with a bad cold/epilepsy, doodled an Aranea

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This is very funny because the only reason he was ever graced with a Fan Favorite title and the only reason he’s as rigorously defended as he is to this day is because he’s a White Boy. There isn’t any other reason.

Feferi is still cast as a stone cold heartless bitch for… [checks notes]… Trying to amicably break up with a guy she was no longer comfortable dating, while Eridan gets away scot free with being unrelentingly, unrepentantly callous and hostile, tremendously hemoloyal, literally committing a genocide on purpose which was his dream to achieve in life, and also objectifying Feferi at every turn. Cool!

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kanaya momence

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I’m so annoyed that crows can remember the faces of humans that they interact with because I sure as hell cannot remember the faces of individual crows >:(

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dave being a capitalist in the epilogues is obviously a fun contrast to communist karkat and i think effectively communicates that not all of the homestuck kids are realistically going to be the #radicalqueercommunists that readers possibly built them up to be but it is also just a really amusing consequence of the fact that he spent formative weeks of his life exploiting innocent crocodiles on the stock market

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this felt so targeted

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I'm always entertained by people doing those "canon VS fanon" memes where both are misunderstanding characters to such a violent degree 'cause like

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ik you're not a dirkjaker, but you have the best takes so please listen.

i feel cheated with dirkjake. most of the fandom held them on the pedestal of "peak toxic yaoi" or whatever and then you see them and...

they're literally just fucking 16 years old.

that's it. that's fucking it. dirk isn't abusive and Jake isn't a demon sent straight from hell to neglect/mistreat him or whatever dirk/dirkjohn fans say. they're just fucking 16.

that is my message. love each other and read sovereignstuck

We don’t even see their relationship on screen. Like at all. We don’t even see them talk.

I will never get over the Cannibalism trend in DirkJake fanworks because it really feels like people don’t get the point of Cannibalism in fiction. Cannibalism highlights Consumption. The consumption is the point. I really don’t think Consumption is present in their relationship, at least not enough to warrant the prevalence of the Cannibalism art.

I could make a significantly stronger case for Cannibalism in a piece of art featuring Cronus and Mituna. One point being that Cronus is literally named Cronus.

The communication issues that Dirk and Jake have are extremely basic 16 year old problems. That’s their main problem. They don’t fucking talk to each other. They don’t fucking talk to each other so much that we literally don’t see a conversation between them during the course of their relationship that isn’t a breakup. Our confirmation that it is happening is them breaking up.

They’re not experiencing some unique, soul-wrenching toxicity. They’re not VrisRezi. They’re just isolated 16 year olds that suck.

I do not get it.

Maybe go watch some horror movies? Or, like, Beastars. A lot of DirkJake fans really come across to me like they just want to watch Beastars and don’t realize it yet. Re-Animator + Bride of Re-Animator, too.

They’re not “Peak Toxic Yaoi” - god, I fucking hate that word - but boy are they Peak Yaoi. From my experience, DirkJake is something you get super invested in out of starvation, but I’ve never been hungry enough for it… Because I watch horror movies all the fucking time. I don’t really need my diet supplemented with some shitty little 16 year old white boys who are failing at relationships. I can just turn on any horror movie and watch bloody, sweaty, injured men fuck each other to death with chainsaws and sob into each other’s arms about needing each other or something. I’m good.

Don’t get me wrong, their relationship kind of blows, but in the most mundane, unremarkable way possible. They really are just isolated 16 year olds. Their main problem is communication, full stop.

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do you think the trolls ever try to think up valid human  names?

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Late to th le party but @the-howling-wind pointed me this out and I had to oblige

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Can you elaborate on what you meant with that ashen post? What do quadrant misunderstandings have to do with Eridan

oh my god, absolutely.

first of all, the fandom seemed to take eridan at his word when he said moirallegiance was a lesser romance akin to a friendzone; that's its own problem.

but in relation to blackrom: the toxic, horrible behavior that eridan displays in his flirting is often taken by fans to prove that kismesissitude is an inherently abusive, unnatural quadrant that the empire forces young trolls into. but this is incorrect.

as stated by multiple characters in-text AND by andrew hussie later: this behavior is not pitch at all. it's ashen flirting.

feferi calls out how transparent this bullshit is instantly. terezi, too, gets caught up in this when eridan decides to drag her into it, but she is also not having his shit. both of them read him for how fake he is. and that's not even going into how completely uninterested sollux was in this “rivalry”.

hussie, in the commentary, also states that eridan's obviously outrageous behavior is basically textbook for an ashen solicitation.

i feel that it's also worth mentioning that when eridan had a real kismesis, his relationship with her was amiable, and they even supported each other as teammates and allies in their campaigns. the second she gets bored of him, eridan starts pretending their relationship is volatile and going to “become murderous” to get kanaya to auspistize for him… sound familiar? 

and now here is what eridan looks like when he's actually pitch flirting. notice how despite his obvious assholery, eridan also tries to treat her with weird respect and pay her compliments? there's a noticeable difference between how eridan treats someone he actually has a pitch thing for and how he treats sollux.

eridan is intentionally going way over the line, to goad people into stopping him. i discussed this before in reference to vriska/kanaya/tavros, but trolls actually seemingly don't want their relationships to become unpleasant. they have an entire quadrant dedicated to intervening if they think a relationship isn't healthy. and the relationship going extremely toxic is attributed to a failure of auspisticism, not a natural facet of pitch romance.

this is what eridan's treatment of sollux is. it's unhealthy, by troll standards. which is saying something! it says that trolls have standards for blackrom; standards that make them think trolls like vriska, gamzee and eridan are going too far. 

so that's what my funny little image was trying to encapsulate. that fandom has such a blind spot when it comes to ashen relationships that it makes them misinterpret pitch romance as well. they forget that it's literally proven in-comic that trolls don't accept shit tons of toxicity as normal in their romance. (of course it gets a little more complicated when caste dynamics are introduced, but in the end other trolls still wish to auspistize in cases like terezi/gamzee.) 

ashen romance has a purpose, and people straight up refusing to acknowledge one of the four romances in the four romance system throws their perspective of the entire thing off balance.

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maybe I should draw all the betas like this...

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every moment postcanon homestuck has been a slow decline down to this very moment to this canon viz approved depiction of hyperfeminized anime vriska and i am hating it so much… nobody understands…

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I like non-SGRUG / humanstuck AUs where the kids don’t get to be ~famous movie directors~ or ~highly skilled experts with 3 PhDs~ but just, like, work in a bank or in a bakery or sth normal like that and generally their INTERESTS didn’t translate into a Profession they are highly successful in and gain tons of money and fame from

BUT

an AU where medical students Jade Harley and Kanaya Maryam. They did the anatomy course together, maybe, they both were very unafraid to get their hands dirty and very hard working. They did pretty good! At that point Kanaya maybe still thinks she’ll go into Obstetrics. Idk why, maybe a family background, maybe the young student line of thought that she totally already knows her calling, and what’s calling her is pregnant people and reproductive rights! She knows! 

Except obviously, where Kanaya’s heart really will be at is Orthopedic Surgery. She’ll do one internship and know that’s her thing. Cut open bones with heavy bonesaws and replace broken hip joints. Take a kid’s broken knee, cut it all open and fix it. She’s got the stamina and the strength and the I see a problem I fix a problem mindset. She’d love it. She’d have real fun doing her work. 

Now as for Jade, Jade is brilliant and can do and be anything she wants, of course, but maybe she’ll drop out anyway. Do something else entirely. Everybody puts Jade into physics and they are right. Jade would carve her way where no paths exist. Whatever she does, I see her less working in actual health care and more in developing new medical tech, probably.

Though she also could be that brilliant that she stays to research and teach at university and becomes that one really demanding but also incredibly inspiring Anatomy Professor. After all we’ve got one Sylph of Space who heals space, and one Witch of Space who manipulates & understands space. Fitting!

Imagine, Professor Harley, an energetic woman, maybe a bit scary at first glance, kickass long grey hair, wow, that hair!! You all fall in love with her a bit. Kind of abrasive, at first, but she’s just really good and fair and caring where it matters. And her tall, strong wife, Kanaya Maryam. Quieter than Harley, but also arguably scarier, who’s an Orthopedic Surgeon and a good person. If you ever have to deal with her, you’ll know how good she is. They are long past their dorky, hesitant teenage years but not past their dorky interests. They are neither ‘elegant’ nor ‘dignified’, but they are very there in their bodies and the space they take up in a way that demands respect and you’d love them for it. You’d love that they so visibly exist in such a place. With their kickass hair and their strong arms and unashamed to love, it’s as if because they are so there, you have a bit more space, too.