team-express - Tumblr blog

[team-express]

I’ve got some metalworking tools used for melting down ore. I could test you to see exactly what temperature you can withstand.

Would swimming in lava damage your clothes? We should test your heat tolerance.

...It almost certainly would damage my garb, yes, it was not made to be heat resistant.

I have noticed that I myself am more resistant to heat than I used to be, but presumably there must be a limit...

[team-express]

You should do more theft. Unless you can do alchemy.

HELLO LAWYER LADY I AM THE AMAZING JOHN OTIS AND I REQUIRE ADVICE ON HOW TO TURN THESE 30 COMPLETELY LEGALLY OBTAINED COATS INTO AN ANTI SLEEP MIST SUIT SO I CAN ROB TEA BANKS! @teamrocketboy

...Okay you're either a kid or incredibly foolish, or both, but also I'm morbidly curious as to what a tea bank is

[team-express]

If you want to be immune to sleep powder, you'll want some ppe. That's personal protective equipment, by the way. If you use goggles and an n95 mask with a good seal, you can filter most of it out, but those who work extensively with it end up using a full suit. That said, breathability of the fabric will be an issue.

Sleep powder primarily targets the mucous membranes and lungs, while stun spore can be activated on skin contact. You should be wary in case your target changes tactics.

HELLO LAWYER LADY I AM THE AMAZING JOHN OTIS AND I REQUIRE ADVICE ON HOW TO TURN THESE 30 COMPLETELY LEGALLY OBTAINED COATS INTO AN ANTI SLEEP MIST SUIT SO I CAN ROB TEA BANKS! @teamrocketboy

...Okay you're either a kid or incredibly foolish, or both, but also I'm morbidly curious as to what a tea bank is

[team-express]

...is that so. Interesting! I'll have to take notes.

man it sounds like virizion got conned. like if i was going to kidnap and torture someone, i'd definitely fake a letter to their friends like that. "I left you of my own free will because I fucking hate you, don't come looking, there's no screaming coming from this place."

...That is a possibility...

...I hope Virizon gets to go, in that case.

[team-express]

You sprinkle useless politeness into your sentences. If you loathe me, at least have the guts to say it to my face. If we ever meet, I’m taking your kidney as a souvenir.

next thing you know someone's gonna say that they think cara liss is attractive and i'm gonna have to tell them that she's also a convicted felon.

[team-express]

Morals are also a social construct, I'll kiss her with tongue.

next thing you know someone's gonna say that they think cara liss is attractive and i'm gonna have to tell them that she's also a convicted felon.

[team-express]

Cowards. Can’t a woman find a convicted felon hot in peace? Laws are a social construct made to cage us.

next thing you know someone's gonna say that they think cara liss is attractive and i'm gonna have to tell them that she's also a convicted felon.

[team-express]

Hate it when cis people ask unnecessary and invasive questions like "are your experiments ethical?" And "where is that screamimg coming from?"

[team-express]

It works quite well! ^w^

can i pelipper mail harte to you

… would that even be comfortable for him?

[team-express]

Yeah, that was mostly me and you and that other someone who did the soul shit. And frankly I've been fucking sick of people ever since. Spent too much time inside of one, it was exhausting and gross and if I see another intestine I'm sure as fuck not stitching it up.

Now that I think about it if we have multi-dimensional mail can't you use it? or at least use the return address on some of them to put a pipe bomb in our mailbox

I DO use it. I give things to my friends here all the time.

AND IM NOT PIPE BOMBING ANYONE. LAST TIME SOMEONE GOT PELIPPER MAILED A PIPE BOMB THEY DIED.

[team-express]

eh. no such thing as an unreasonable amount of threatening unless you have to sedate them afterwards. and even then, is it really that bad?

...The plan was to set out for Cinnabar today.

That plan has been rather solidly pushed to tomorrow at least for reasons I am quite annoyed about.

[team-express]

Huh. Do you still need more data from him?

...The plan was to set out for Cinnabar today.

That plan has been rather solidly pushed to tomorrow at least for reasons I am quite annoyed about.

[team-express]

Hey can you turn Pelipper Mail on for five minutes so I can send you a milf hunter shirt pretty please

I don't understand why motherhood is attractive. That means having to deal with the horrid little monsters. Why would I want to fuck anyone's mother?

[team-express]

Eh, do what you want. Guess I still owe you a favor, if you need some pipe bombs or something.

Ms. Briar has kindly agreed that it would be beneficial to all parties involved to set out tomorrow morning as opposed to what is, in this timezone, the middle of the night.

She is also, as Ade helpfully pointed out, absolutely under the impression that I am a Champion in this region. I am not going to inform her otherwise.

i liked the part where she tried to say she wanted to speak to the manager and ubasically went yeah who do u think sent me

...Pardon?

she was all "oh the TOP CHAMPION will be hearing of this" and you went "pray tell, who do you think informed me of this in the first place if not her?" and she didnt have an answer because how would she know youre a friend of ferros >:P

Well, she will likely know that by the end of this endeavor. Assuming she survives it. She is, quite honestly, lowest on the list of my current priorities.

...She reminds me of those I had the misfortune to work alongside at Byrgenwerth. I hope she is an outlier among the faculty and staff of Blueberry Academy, or else I am considerably more concerned than I previously was.

[team-express]

Tch. I wouldn't exactly give them my trust.

You're probably the noble type, huh? I don't really care about that; I protect what's mine. But if you came all this way to protect the kid, you should probably burn that place to the ground.

Ms. Briar has kindly agreed that it would be beneficial to all parties involved to set out tomorrow morning as opposed to what is, in this timezone, the middle of the night.

She is also, as Ade helpfully pointed out, absolutely under the impression that I am a Champion in this region. I am not going to inform her otherwise.

i liked the part where she tried to say she wanted to speak to the manager and ubasically went yeah who do u think sent me

...Pardon?

she was all "oh the TOP CHAMPION will be hearing of this" and you went "pray tell, who do you think informed me of this in the first place if not her?" and she didnt have an answer because how would she know youre a friend of ferros >:P

Well, she will likely know that by the end of this endeavor. Assuming she survives it. She is, quite honestly, lowest on the list of my current priorities.

...She reminds me of those I had the misfortune to work alongside at Byrgenwerth. I hope she is an outlier among the faculty and staff of Blueberry Academy, or else I am considerably more concerned than I previously was.

[team-express]

What kind of Medical Tests do you need so many Subjects for?

And why not go through official Channels and do an actual Study?

Because I'm wanted on two counts of homicide and I don't like interacting with people. Arceus, why are you all so annoying? Fuck off.

[team-express]

WHO THE FUCK HAS BEEN READING MY MANGA. WHY CAN'T I FIND SHIT AROUND HERE. I'M GOING TO COMMIT ANOTHER HOMICIDE.