tealeavesandcameras-blog

[tealeavesandcameras-blog]

[tealeavesandcameras-blog]

So, I guess I want to start with a post about Covid-19 and quarantine. I know, this topic is EVERYWHERE at the moment and the news is always depressing, as this situation is as a whole. I have been lucky enough to have been able to continue working throughout all of the “lockdown.” I’m putting lockdown in quotations there, because let’s face it, where I live, it wasn’t much of a lockdown and it maybe lasted three weeks. Yipee!

Jokes aside, I know for a lot of people, this situation has been extremely hard on people for a lot of reasons. People are out of work, people have lost loved ones from the virus, people are stuck in their homes, and then there are those like me, who struggle with mental illness, who have now found themselves stuck. In March, when this all started to go down, I had a pretty rough time with everything that was going on. Like I mentioned previously, I have been lucky enough to still be working, but as of right now my job has mostly been me alone in a building. I have mostly put forth my best efforts to stay home and not go out in public, unless completely necessary. Because of this, the outlet that I had previously been using to help with my unfortunate mindset, was no longer available. I could no longer go out and be with my friends, I go home to my parent’s house, where they’ve mostly ignored me since I was fifteen, and I just stayed in my room. I was alone. 

I’ve personally never done well in situations where I am stuck alone for long periods of time. In fact, quarantine in itself has ended with me.... falling into old habits. I started drinking every night, like I had previously made myself stop doing. I couldn’t sleep, I was getting maybe three hours of sleep a night, on top of still working forty hour work weeks and finishing my school semester. And lastly, I returned to an old habit that I was previously clean from, for four years. I spent weeks in this same cycle. I’m still somewhat in this cycle, But a few weeks ago something changed.

I decided I needed to stop wallowing and feeling like crap and start putting all of that emotion into something else. I needed to do something different. So I did just that. I’m fortunate enough to live in an area a fair distance away from the major attractions of my area, as I can still walk outside, hike, etc. and still avoid massive crowds. Because of this, I decided to use it to my advantage. I started to make myself pick up my camera, or even just my phone camera, and take a photo of something at least once a day, whether it’s just something in town, or a random flower, just something to keep my mind focused on something else even for a little while. I’ve started to make myself try to just create something whenever I feel myself go to that dark place. I started focusing all of my energy on my photography and my writing. Fitness is another thing I’m really starting to enjoy. It’s just something going for a good run before or after work, or a good hike that will put me in a good mood. 

In this time of my life, I finally have the time to slow own and really focus on my passions, instead of just focusing on my depression or the creeping feelings of anxiety. It is still a major work in progress, that will of course still require some additional work on myself following the pandemic crisis, but I refuse to give in to the negative. I am taking the negative and trying to turn it into something positive. 

“Things aren’t always easy, but you just have to keep going and don’t let the small stuff bog you down,”- Stella Maeve

[tealeavesandcameras-blog]

A Humble Introduction

Hello! If you are reading this, this means you’ve found my blog and welcome. I’m not entirely sure what my plans are that I am creating a completely new blog. But I know it is a clean slate. I hope that this blog can be a remotely safe place for me to mostly dump about things, to rant when I need to, to express lingering feelings, and so much more. I hope to also share some of the occasional photography, because just as writing has become, it is a big part of my life that I want to pursue and improve.

I don’t expect this blog to reach many eyes, as it is mainly a place for me to put my thoughts, feelings, and experiences into words. The blogging thing is very new to me and obviously I am not an expert, so I hope that the pieces will come together as time goes on. By any means, once again welcome to my blog and I hope that you can find something you like or just enjoy here.

Thanks, Lauren