teachmeblue

[teachmeblue]

Guys I swear I SWEAR he has a secret playlist about me

So,I follow his Spotify (hhhhh) BUT I always see him adding music I tell him about to a playlist that I CANNOT FIND !!!! I showed him Laufey, and he added an entire one of her albums to a playlist but I CANT FIND IT

Therefore he HAS to have a secret playlist with my music on it. I know this I know it so well

[teachmeblue]

[teachmeblue]

the amount of rage i feel any time another girl (his student) flirts with him (asks him for a question) and he pays attention to her (it's his job)

[teachmeblue]

oops… what can i say

[teachmeblue]

GUYSSSSSSSSSS

so ! Fainted again (I KNOW) BUT

After I got taken out of the class and brought home, my friend texted me about what the teacher said (I'll call him ❤️‍🩹)

So they text me that he said to another teacher "babygirl doesn't need to be in this class" and that it scares him when I faint and he doesn't know how to help

BUT HE CALLED ME BABYGIRL ????????

He also calls me honey sometimes, or sweetheart

And I think he does it in a fatherly way, and I kinda feel fatherly vibes with him more than I do Blue

But like 😭😭😭😭 HE CALLED ME BABYGIRL TO SOMEONE ELSE

[teachmeblue]

Okay 😭 so I fainted again

So I'm sitting on the floor outside of his door before school, and I know I'm about to faint but he's not there. He gets there, and I stand up (fool) and immediately nearly keel over 😭

I call out to him, and he asks what's wrong and I tell him I'm fainting again, and he immediately snaps into problem solving mode.

So he comes close, helps me down onto the floor and puts his bag under my head and my backpack under my legs to elevate them. And he runs to get another teacher, who calls the office for us. Blue is rooting through my lunch bag, finds something for me to eat, and he unwraps it for me and puts it in my hand

At this point, I'm basically unresponsive, so I manage half a bite before my head rolls back. And some amount of time (seconds? Don't know) later, I come to again and he's got a cool cloth. So he lifts up my head, puts it on the back of my neck, and him and the other teacher wait for help to get there. He takes my water bottle, and holds it up to my mouth to help me drink (SO MUCH contact)

So the front desk lady comes with a wheelchair, but I can't really move. Blue and the other teacher end up PICKING ME UP from the floor and lowering me into the wheelchair, and Blue picks up all my stuff and we set off to the nurse

We get there, and the other teacher leaves, but the nurse isn't there yet. He murmurs to me, so gently, "I'm right here, (my name)"

So Blue is nursing me back to health, he has an ice pack for me and he's cooling me down with a wet paper towel. He's asking every couple seconds if I can still hear him and if I'm still with him, and all I can really do is moan in response.

He's getting anxious trying to figure out what he can do for me, and he tells me he doesn't want to leave me, but he has Gatorade in the staff room that he wants for me. So someone gets it, and he holds it up to my mouth and helps me take a few sips. Someone asks him if I'm too warm, and he puts his hand on me to feel my temperature

Every minute or so, he's helping me drink the Gatorade, and I'm slowly coming to more.

Eventually, he helped me get into a bed and lay down, and he made sure I felt safe before he left 😭

You guys, I feel so bad 😭 I must have stressed this poor, sweet man out SO MUCH. He handled it so well, but I could tell he was frightened, yk? I know he worries about me a lot, and that surely did not help. He's also told me he's really worried because this is the third time in the span of like five days I've fainted.

BUT

that was also the most romantic thing I have ever experienced ! I am so displeased I fainted again, but having him take care of me like that really got to me I think. His soft reassurances, the checking in, the way he was constantly touching me!!! It was so much you guys

[teachmeblue]

ALSO my birthday was recently, and I go in on my birthday before school. And he's there early, waiting for me 😭 and he says "it's not much, but" and he hands me breakfast and candy 😭

So of course I start crying because I hate my birthday but also because that was so sweet, and I said when he asked what was going on that I just wish people would care about me and my birthday. And he says, all soft and serious, "I care, and I want you to have a good birthday"

AHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

[teachmeblue]

You guys 😭

Basically, I fainted on Friday (NOT the exciting part of this story) and Blue was there 😭

So he's clearly freaking out according to my friends who were there, and I wake up to him like fanning me and standing over me

Then, today, I came in, and he was really quiet. And as I'm leaving, I ask for a hug, and he says yes. But as he's pulling me in, he looks me in my eyes and goes "you NEED to eat. That was scary, that was... really scary" so he was holding me and telling me how I scared him

HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT ME 😭😭😭

So then, at lunch today, I ask him "Do you like... worry about me?" And he says "Yeah. especially after Friday, I worry about you a lot"

HE WORRIES ABOUT ME 😭😭😭😭 I feel so bad I'm stressing that poor man out so much, but at the same time I'm like OH TM GOD HE THINKS ABOUT ME

[teachmeblue]

Also, I saved a video over the summer for him that was basically like "ask your friends which quadratic function you are!"

So I bring it over to him today, and I tell him which ones I think he is. And then he's like "which are you?" And I said I don't know, you have to tell me! And he spent like five minutes picking out which ones I am and pointing out individual pictures he thinks are most like me 😭 he's so thoughtful with me, just so sweet

[teachmeblue]

So !!

A little anecdote about us <3

I've been having some issues with passing out lately, which is not good! But that's not really the point of this.

My point is he is always SO WORRIED about me when I get lightheaded or any of that.

So I go in there the other day, and I tell him that I need to show him how to access my medication list in case of emergency. And he looks up at me, and he's like 'whoa' all worried and serious and concerned and stuff. And you GUYS he is SO hot when he's worried, like unreasonably so actually.

Also, he keeps giving me food to make sure I eat (just ed things) and today he kept trying to tell me to eat 😭 I love that he cares so much, he's so sweet to me

[teachmeblue]

YOU GUYS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

SO MUCH

okay, so!! To start, I went and bought him blackberries the day before school started as a little back to school gift 😭 because I remembered they were his favorite fruit (as if I could forget)

So I went in early on the first day to see him (keeping up tradition from last year) and the SECOND he saw me, his whole face lit up and he exclaimed my name and hurried up to me. Without hesitation he pulled me in for a hug 😭 then, I reached into my lunch bag and pulled out his blackberries. And he went "you remembered!" OF COURSE I REMEMBERED 😭

So then I went in that day at lunch (I had texted him to make sure his availability) and we caught up about our summers, I showed him some pictures and stuff. He seemed happy I was back!!

I've seen him every day since, with more stories I'll surely tell later on. But I hang out with him before school every morning, and during lunch every day he's there.

It just feels so good to be back, you know? Seeing him again was everything I needed. He seems to love spending time with me, and he's the kindest soul I know. I would be nowhere without him, I think.

[teachmeblue]

I see him on Tuesday you guys 😭🙏 my whole summer has been leading up to this moment. I think I'm going to try to bring him some blackberries as a back to school present, they are his favorite after all.

I can't wait to show him the videos and pictures I've saved in little folders for him, I can't wait to tell him all about my summer and hear about his 😭

I missed him so much, you guys probably know exactly how that feels. Me and my man back together again 🤞

[teachmeblue]

I was so close to you.

It was quiet, that love. A gentle, slowly burning adoration that took me by storm. Soft voice only for me, softer expression painting your face.

You took my loving little heart in your hands, cradled it close, promised with soft lips to care for it. I was a beating, pulsing organ in my chest and you wrapped me up in care and compassion, filled me with your own blood. Sustained me, kept me warm on those cold days.

I think, I pray, I beg to be close to you again. It was the greatest joy, the only affection that ever really mattered. You were a love, a quiet love, a careful love. Should I regain you, I think it would be the happiest moments of my life, played out before me once again.

[teachmeblue]

YOU GUYS 😋

I emailed him !!! School hasn't started yet and I emailed him and HE RESPONDED 🤞🤞🤞

I emailed him a graph, and he responded right away and in the email, he said see you soon!!!!!

He misses me so much you guys he's in love with me

[teachmeblue]

I MISS MY MAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[teachmeblue]

GUYSSSSS like one and a half months until I can see my man!!!

Here's a lockscreen I made of the picture I got with him on one of the last days <3

[teachmeblue]

Y'ALL 😭😭😭 It's the last day which is why I disappeared, bc I'm so sad. BUT I got a hug from him!!!! It was so warm and comforting, and his face was pressed against mine (I didn't get excited over that at all oh no I didn't) and I wrote him a three page letter, and got him a book.

But the hug was SO GOOD actually, like it was all I've ever needed. And I told him I'd miss him, and he's like "I'll be here next year, you're not losing me!" Which was very comforting.

Also, I got a picture with him!! So now I have a nice memory of us to look back on. It's so funny, bc neither of us are looking at the camera really 😭 he's staring at himself I think and I just look a little dazed. It's so cute, I've never loved a picture more. I might trace it and use it as my phone background.

I am so, so heartbroken that today is the last day, but I feel good about how this year has gone, and I know I'll be back with him in just a few months. I asked him if he would still let me hang out in his room when I wasn't his student anymore, and he said yes!! He sounded really happy that I asked I think

But you guys, I'm gonna miss him so much 😭 I just have to hold onto what I do have of him.

I also made him a friendship bracelet, which he's been wearing every day since I gave it to him 😭 I think I gave him enough to remember me by

I don't know how active I'll be on here until September, but it's been good! I hope you all enjoyed my posts, and I'm sure I'll start this blog up again when the fall semester starts. I might still post some, but who knows! If I think I'm permanently leaving, I'll for sure let you all know.

It's been a good year. And I'll miss him forever, and I'll keep him in my heart for as long as I live. Even if some day I fall out of love, this has still been the very best year, and some part of me will always be his.

Have a good summer, everyone, and I'll talk to you soon!