tandoriantrainer

[tandoriantrainer]

So. Guess who accidentally turned himself into a Xenogen.

And guess who is really missing opposable digits.

[tandoriantrainer]

Still finding it weird how people on here will just

BAM

Pokemon.

Like, that defies soooooo many laws of physics. It’s almost infuriating.

[tandoriantrainer]

certain kinds do.

certain kinds do.

What is Ho-oh even talking about?

[tandoriantrainer]

Yeah, they say you need like. Ten. But really, four or three’s enough to go off. There’s no need for more than that.

It… never ceases to amaze me just how little sleep a person can function on.

[tandoriantrainer]

No.

No.

would you guys still love me if i was a wurmple

[tandoriantrainer]

Because we have nothing better to do. Plus it’s way fucking easier then trying to spread misinformation in the real world. People don’t really read news tabloids anymore!

Because we have nothing better to do. Plus it’s way fucking easier then trying to spread misinformation in the real world. People don’t really read news tabloids anymore!

I now know that people will spread misinformation online. I do not understand why people would spread misinformation online. What do they gain?

[tandoriantrainer]

If your doctors ignoring the fact you have fucking fangs you might want a new doctor

If your doctors ignoring the fact you have fucking fangs you might want a new doctor

@tandoriantrainer

Hey! We saw you’ve been having… well, a day. We’re sure Gen already told you what’s going on, so we won’t go over old ground, but we hope you’re doing good!

Hey! We saw you’ve been having… well, a day. We’re sure Gen already told you what’s going on, so we won’t go over old ground, but we hope you’re doing good!

yeah i don't know how to take this

my doctor seems to think i have good health despite everything

heartrate's a little rapid for me and my hemoglobin count is a little high but he seems to think i'm fine

not to say he ignored the obvious fangs growing from my upper jaw we're just stumped and he wants me to keep note of daily changes

which sucks because my body feels itchy all over

[tandoriantrainer]

…Okay, we’ve been sitting here for an hour. Proto. Do you have any ideas?

…uh… Mom, do you promise not to do this again?

Of co-

No- this isn’t some children’s show Proto, this is real life. Come up with something.

Well- we can’t let her walk around, we can’t put her in prison because that’s as bad as her walking around- killing her is too extreme. What’s left?

…

No.

…what other choice do we have?

I- we can think of something, can’t we?

We’ve been trying to think of something else for an hour.

…But… this… feels wrong.

…I know.

…

…Guess we’re going back to Epsilon.

[tandoriantrainer]

Okay, first off, the hell were you impersonating my wife for?!

Technically it isn’t impersonating. We are Lucille.

Bullshit. The Lucille I know would never do any of this.

People change, Kellyn. I am Lucille. I am what’s left of her.

Okay then, what’s the whole… kill everyone in Tandor plan for.

To kill everyone. A simple explanation.

Do you really hate humanity that much you pretended to be Lucille for so long just to hide your plans?

Of course. We’ve lied about many other things, this is trivial.

…so even if we all went back to normal, you’d just… keep waiting to do this again?

Take a good guess at that one.

Would even sending you to prison not stop you?

I’ve seen her make weaponry from a spork. We send her to prison, and every person inside it is as good as dead.

But we can’t just… let mom walk around. That’s asking for this again.

…

It would seem, We’ve become your own Schrödinger's cat.

[tandoriantrainer]

Hah, child, you are on your last Pokémon. It is time for you to concede defeat. Maybe you’ll be able to run before the blast. Hah, child, you are on your last Pokémon. It is time for you to concede defeat. Maybe you’ll be able to run before the blast.

N-never. We’ll…

*He’s interupted by the thunk of a ball landing on the championship site’s roof. And then another. And another.*

What the Hell?…What the Hell?…

*More keep coming. Proto and Curie look down at the ground, to see a crowd has gathered, and is sending their support.*

Heh, look at that, I don’t think I’m on my last Pokémon anymore.

What… Nevermind! Urayne, change of plans! Do it NOW! What… Nevermind! Urayne, change of plans! Do it NOW!

*Gamma Urayne begins to charge up a massive blast of energy, enough to level Tandor.*

*In response, Proto looks to the hundreds of pokemon now surrounding him.*

Everyone! Attack Urayne! Don’t let it release that energy!

*Urayne gets attacked from every side, eventually its hp gets cut down. Curie simply laughs.*

Don’t you know anything about physics Proto? You cannot destroy energy. It has to go somewhere.

Oh, I know.

*Proto hops onto his last Pokémon. A rayquaza.*

Where In Tandor did you find a Rayquaza?!

Let’s say I borrowed it from a friend.

*He picks up Urayne, and flies straight up, before throwing Urayne into space. The explosion does… end up hitting some of the moon.*

…Well, there was bound to be some damage… Oof, that’s a bit more than a crater. Okay, Rayquaza, go get him, and we’ll come back for mom.

*It grabs the now Alpha Urayne in it’s front talons, coming back down to the Championship site.*

…Once more defeated by our own son. But that’s no matter-

Sorry to but in, but you aren’t getting away this time.

We’ve got the place surrounded, Curie. There’s nowhere for you to run, and we’ve got Urayne.

…

Like hell I’ll surrender. I’ll fight everyone of you! Everyone here!

The odds of you beating everyone here is damn near astronomical.

Look, how about we at least talk before you beat our ass?

Proto, what are you doing?

Just… trust me.

…talk? You want to talk? It’s far past the time for talking.

Just, give it a try. Better than uh… hurting your knuckles punching us.

Fine, but if this ends up being a trick, we’ll-

Kick our ass, we know.

[tandoriantrainer]

Curie!

…Oh. Cameron’s son. What are you doing here, come to watch your final moments? …Oh. Cameron’s son. What are you doing here, come to watch your final moments?

No, I’m here to stop you!

…You. You haven’t even been a major character on this blog. What makes you think you can stand up to us? …You. You haven’t even been a major character on this blog. What makes you think you can stand up to us?

Just, give me a fight, at least.

…This is a distraction isn’t it? …This is a distraction isn’t it?

Maybe. But it’s already worked.

*The sound of a breaking glass beaker can be heard, and soon the area fills with a noxious gas.*

You, you do understand we- we… You, you do understand we- we…

Damnit, Urayne-

Yeah, we know you’ve got a mask on. But Urayne doesn’t.

*Soon the cloud dissipates, Proto and Theo walk up to Curie.*

Now, we just take this off…

There we go. Mom, how do you feel?

Like killing you.

*She grabs Theo by the throat.*

Mom?! Wait, Lucille! What are you doing?!

Don’t you understand?! Lucille died ages ago! It’s been us! Always been us! From the moment that chamber closed to now, Lucille is Curie! We are Lucille, and we are Curie.

…no…

Yes! You’ve all been so happy when we pretend to be her! And we’ve grown tired of it!

So then what was all those times we hung out together?! Bonded?! Was that fake?!

Of course not. We love you, Proto. That is why we have an offer for you.

Huh?…

Join us. Join us in enacting our revenge, and let us be a family again. We don’t need Kellyn, we don’t need Cameron, or Theo, or anyone else. Just us, and you.

Hell no! I’m not helping you destroy Tandor!

Then you leave us no choice. We can already feel Urayne reawakening, you only bought yourself a few minutes. Leave Tandor or become ash.

I’ll stand my ground against you, no matter the cost!

Then come at us and lose! Then come at us and lose!

[tandoriantrainer]

Huff….Huff…damn it, I should really keep someone with fly on my team… I relied way too much on Quantum Leap…

Oh, it’s you. Oh, it’s you.

Yeah, you surprised? Where’s my welcome party?

Shut up, you little brat. Don’t you understand the devastation we are minutes away from releasing? Shut up, you little brat. Don’t you understand the devastation we are minutes away from releasing?

Y’know, I remember this happening last time, and it miserably failing. So why don’t you get out of mom’s head and call it a day?

Hah, give up our existence? No. We plan to finally enact our revenge for everything! Hah, give up our existence? No. We plan to finally enact our revenge for everything!

Yet again, that failed last time. Also, why? I thought you were enjoying life now.

Enjoying? That rangerman and the interpol fellow watch us like hawks. We cannot go outside without people running in fear. We’ve found multiple government agents attempting to ambush us, and we’ve been chased down by people with guns! Enjoying? That rangerman and the interpol fellow watch us like hawks. We cannot go outside without people running in fear. We’ve found multiple government agents attempting to ambush us, and we’ve been chased down by people with guns!

…Okay, admittedly that sounds… bad. But that doesn’t mean you blow up the region with who knows how many tons of nuclear materials!

And who’s going to stop us when we get rid of you? And who’s going to stop us when we get rid of you?

Wait, what-

*a Dramsama appears behind Proto and grabs him, before disappearing again.*

Now, back to business…. Now, back to business….

[tandoriantrainer]

BREAKING NEWS!

This just in, the presumed dead nuclear menace known to the populace as C.U.R.I.E. Has just appeared atop the championship site! It has in its possession many kinds of nuclear materials! Uranium! Plutonium! Radium! Somehow francium! That one’s not lasting long.

As many of us know from the first incident, Dr. Lucille Mayer is C.U.R.I.E. . But, she was tragically killed after being defeated by our champion. Is she back from the grave? Is this an impostor? We connected with some civilians about this issue!

*The view point switches to multiple street interviews.*

You see it around town sometimes. Initmidating. It stares down at us. Some call it the ghost of Bealbeach. Never on Epsilon island though.

It- it appeared in front of me man! Last month! It and the freak! If that things dead how did I see it?! How did I see it?!

They told everyone the body was never recovered. I think it was hiding in the shadows to get it’s revenge.

I heard her once. Singing. In the forest. She had a really nice voice. Mommy told me I was dreaming, but… the song was so nice…

*back to the caster.*

You heard it here! The nuclear menace has returned! Will our champion return to finish off the menace, or will Tandor be left to a thing beyond comprehension? A being that is alien to us, a monster of creation?! Stay tuned, we’ll be live-streaming until the end!

[tandoriantrainer]

*Electro(Swap Amanda from my uranium au) stares at da peoples likes this*

Uh… hi?…

Should we call someone?

Who would we call, ghostbusters?!

…yes?

[tandoriantrainer]

There are people who are inventing ways to use nuclear power without boiling water. How utterly scandalous.

Nah. Let’s keep using it for boiling water so we can make tea with it.

[tandoriantrainer]

Whoever invented nuclear power looked at a glowy rock and said

“Yeah, we can use this to heat up water to make power”

And it worked.

[tandoriantrainer]

Congratulations on defeating the bio-hazardous scourge!

File unlocked : Dimensional parasites (expanded)

Name : Dimensional parasite

The parasite will usually feed off the universe it resides in, but in times of duress it can instead use ███ ████████ ██ ██████ to feed itself.

They have a limited emotional capacity, but in order to become a copy of their host, they take on traits exhibited by that host. (EG. one that copied a version of Cyrus would take on the personality of a cold man who hates humanity, while one that copied a version of May would be upbeat and happy.)

Until the parasite is taken out of the dimension and burned, it is never truly gone. █ ████ ████████ ███ ███ ████████ ██ ███████ ███ █████████ █████.

Secondary file unlocked for quick time completion!

File name : Disciples of the Void

The DoV is a group that resides in the ever-changing realm of the Void. It consists of people forced out of their timelines by parasites or other events at some point during the course of their lives. They do not age, and they cannot be killed in the void.

The current leader is a version of Zenith, from reality 1169-6267-PI.

Currently there are ██████████ disciples stuck in the void.

The Disciples of Void, despite being headed by a man from an insurgence timeline, and having possibly the worst name ever due to this, is not a cult, evil team, world-Ender organisation, or any of those. It is simply what people who reside in the void are known under.

They have become such a problem to the dimensional parasites that the parasites have evolved to recognize the DoV symbol, and become extremely agitated when it is presented in front of them. ████ ██ ███ █ ████ █████████ ██ ███ ███ █████████ ██ ██████ █ █████████ ████████.

Due to their habits of stealing from other dimensions for supplies, and breaking any timeline they enter within a few hours from being Schrödinger's cat paradoxes, they are on multiversal blacklists in many universes.