talvanis-the-snow-elf

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

For a 4000 or so year old mer you're not too bad on the eyes.

You fought countless hordes of the Betrayed, traversed vast acres of frozen, unforgiving tundra, swam in putrid waters, navigated countless traps and no doubt nearly died getting here… Just to tell me that?… I must admit, I’m quite touched. You have brought a rare warmth to this old Snow Elf’s heart tonight. Thank you.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

10th of Evening Star

Where do I even begin? After saying goodbye to Lucien and Brelyna, I returned briefly home to prepare for my next excursion, then headed back to the Chantry. It had only been a few days, but Gelebor was pleased to see me again. I think he really likes company, any company, but I am sure that of his own kind after so long, warms especially.

We spoke at length, him telling me everything about the Vale, about the Chantry, about what our people used to be like.

In the evening, we went to the forest part by the Wayshrine of Sight, and inside a small cave where some Jorane and Chaurus lived. Unlike me, Gelebor did not hesitate. He explained that while he has sympathy for them, their presence is a defilement of the Chantry and he has spent all this time trying to keep them away.

We headed onwards past the creek and the "village" they had built, where I almost relived my traumatic night from a week ago, but they were fewer in number now, and Gelebor kept close to my side (unlike "someone" last time).

I almost forgot: before we got to the Jorane village, we passed one of the Frost giants again, and Gelebor said he saw it guarding something, something belonging to the Chantry.

We killed it (I loaned Gelebor my glass bow, and left it with him, now that I have Auri-El's bow), and it was carrying a massive amethyst gem, shaped like an egg. Gelebor explained that it was a paragon that can be used to unlock further areas of the Vale.

Not far away, up the waterfall, was another Frost giant with one of the paragons - why are all of them kept by Frost giants, again? Did the Frost giants steal all of them one day, then handed them out among each other? I digress.

This one was a sapphire paragon, and nearby was the paragon platform itself. I did not want to use it now however, not until we had all of them. Up the stairs of the Jorane village, on a cliff, was another, which kept an emerald paragon.  Gelebor explained that there were five, meaning two were still to be found. It was now late at night, so we retired for the night.

After this, we went up the creek, through the massive ice cave and through the further "village" under the Inner Sanctum, and as it was very late at night, we headed up to the Wayshrine of Radiance and spent the remainder of the night resting in Darkfall Cave.

Once morning came, and after breakfast and Gelebor's morning ritual (has he really kept up all these small rituals every single day for all this time?), we  headed out back to the Jorane village below the Inner Sanctum, as up the hill in the opposite direction, there was yet another Frost giant, its cave littered with dead Jorane.

I shot it and Gelebor fought it with his mace (...), and once it was dead, we found it carried the diamond paragon. Only one left, according to Gelebor.

We headed up the Inner Sanctum, where Gelebor had not set foot in eons. The room echoed in hollow silence as we walked slowly, warily, among the frozen Jorane and Chaurus. Not warily because we were afraid to awake them, but rather out of respect for the place, and for those who died there.

Gelebor took close looks at each and every skeleton we passed by. I had counted eighteen, last time I was here. And he had known every single one of them, when they were alive.

He took his time, not saying a word to me. Stroking some of them over the head or hand. Occasionally murmuring something, to himself or to the dead, I do not know.

Then he called my attention, as if nothing of gravity had been going on, to a pedestal on the far side of the room. An empty pedestal.

"This", he explained, "is a way to open hidden parts of the Chantry. They were constructed in order to provide us further safety, should the Chantry ever be breached."

"It did not do much good, then", I said, then immediately regretted stating the obvious.

"No", Gelebor answered heavily, "it did not, in the situation we faced."

"In any case, how do would you go about opening this door?" he asked.

I looked at it for a moment. "I really have not the faintest clue", I admitted.

"Do you still have the ewer with you?" he asked. I nodded. "This pedestal is magically primed to only respond to the placing of a ewer from the Chantry on top of it. No other object may do. Try it."

I placed the initiate's ewer on it, and the wall began to rumble. Then the door slid down, and we could enter. Inside was another pedestal. Gelebor explained, and showed me, that when you remove the ewer, the door immediately closes. The second pedestal is thus to open the door from the inside.

Going further inside these hidden rooms, there were more bodies of our fallen kin, to which Gelebor paid his respects.

I simply stood silent and solemn nearby. As we moved on, it did not take long before we were faced with a... Frost giant.

How it got in there, or survived there, was a question neither of us could answer. It was as aggressive as the rest of them, however, so we killed it, and behind it, found the final paragon - a giant ruby.

Before heading to the paragon platform, I wanted to explore the river and waterfall tunneling below.

Heading down the river, past the Wayshrine of Learning, I was curious about where the river went. Unprepared for the strenght of the current, it sucked us down into a deep hole. We fell for so long, I do not think there are many drops higher than this on Tamriel that one could survive.

I hoped there would be water at the bottom, and put my legs close together so that I fell like an arrow. If there were water, I would cleave through it with the least amount of trauma. If there were not... then my death would be more long-drawn.

Obviously, there was water at the bottom. Very deep water. I found myself quickly enough, and Gelebor landed only seconds after me. The water was still a strong stream, and we made it for the riverbank together. Like most caves here, it was lit up by glowing fungi and crystals. It was clearly another Jorane village, albeit a very small one, and... empty. Was that a dead body?

I did not have time to investigate before we were attacked by the Jorane - no - these were not them. The first few seconds flashed between thinking that was what they were, to thinking they were some completely different creature, to the terrible realization that they were Jorane, but not like any I had seen before.

They were naked, covered in blood, not using any weapons or magic, just swiping at us with claws and trying to bite at us. Their teeth were huge,  monstrous, sticking out of their jaws like on a frost troll, but worse.

There were three of them, and we killed them along with the flying chaurus.

They had already killed the "civilized" Jorane that lived down there. I stared at their monstrous corpses in horror, and asked Gelebor what they were. He said they were another, more feral and defiled form of our former kin, that was more common in the First Era.

I had believed for a moment that these were a strain further developed along the lines of darkness and insanity - beastliness - but Gelebor insisted they had been around for a very long time, and that these more common Jorane we were familiar with, had slowly regained their intelligence over the centuries.

Then I realized, the frozen Jorane we encountered when fighting Vyrthur, were similar to these. They had been frozen by him when the Chantry was attacked. It made more sense now.

After exploring the small river bank, we determined there was not much more to see there, and that the only way out was, unfortunately, further downstream.

There was no possible way of climbing up. Now would be a good time for levitation magic. But neither of us had that knowledge, so we had to jump in the river, which took us swiftly deeper into the cave, until I fell down another waterfall... into the massive cave at the end of Darkfall Passage, where Prelate Sidanyis stood.

After I climbed out of the water, there was a good, long moment where I could not see Gelebor anywhere, and I was really scared I had killed him with my idiocy. Why did I need to go into this hole so badly? But then, there he was, in one piece.

Hours later, we headed back to the paragon platform, near the waterfall, and used the first we had found - the amethyst paragon. A gate appeared. It was similar to those inside the Wayshrines, but without any sort of frame. Just a magical door, showing its destination as if through a vertical wall of water.

When we stepped through the gate, we found we were back in the cave below the river, where we had met the monsters. There was an ancient Falmer chest standing there, without much of note inside.

The sapphire paragon led to an isolated part of the Inner Sanctum, with more skeletons of the fallen, and many gems. I would not dream of touching the treasures of my people, however, so simply looked around, paid my respects, and returned.

The next two led to different parts of the Vale, isolated and impossible to get to without the use of the gate. Then the last paragon, the ruby, led to a secluded forest in a far part of the Vale. I could see the balcony from there.

We sensed something, and I told Gelebor what I could see with my Aura Whisper - three trolls attacking one of the Jorane, but he killed all of them. We snuck closer, and Gelebor gasped a few words in his archaic dialect that I did not catch.

"Auri-El's shield" he then said. I frowned at him. "He has Auri-El's shield!" Gelebor whispered, pointing at the Jorane, who was indeed carrying a shield, but not like any they made from chaurus parts. It was large, smooth and elegant, shining like the sun.

"It has been missing for many centuries!" Gelebor whispered, excited and astonished. "I thought it had been lost to time."

I moved in closer, and of course, the Jorane attacked when he noticed me. He seemed to understand immediately that I was no troll, as his fighting stance and approach was definitely different from how he attacked them. He knew I was some sort of intelligent foe, and not an animal. How did he know that from just, what... my footsteps?

We fought him together, and claimed the shield. I do not know which was more beautiful, the shield or the bow.

I had seen statues and paintings of Auri-El wielding his bow and shield my entire life, and worked on my skills in these two for that precise reason, to be more like him. I had, only days ago, become his Champion at his Chantry. I now had both of his artifacts in my possession, by his grace.

I still can hardly believe it as of writing this.

After this final exploration of the paragon gate, I thanked Gelebor for all his help, he thanked me for my company, and we said our goodbyes, me leaving the Vale for the second time, returning to Frost waiting for me in Markarth.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

6th of Evening Star

I am sitting at a table in the Winking Skeever, enjoying the last drink of the night. I am alone, and I do not know when I will see my friends again. But it is good. There are things we all need to do before seeing one another again. To be brief... (I always say this, and then I am never brief. Not even remotely.)

As we departed from the Chantry, we headed with haste to Fort Dawnguard. Our horses were rested, so they handled the journey relatively well. We spent the night camping down on the Whiterun tundra, before being off again, and reached Fort Dawnguard by mid-day. When I entered the fort, it was the first and likely the last time I will ever see Isran make that face.

He was utterly stunned by the sight of Auri-El's bow, praised its beauty, and me for retrieving it, before rallying the Dawnguard. Everyone was already prepared to leave at a moment's notice, so that was what happened. Another long journey northwest.

As we had horses, we arrived to the northern shores far sooner than the rest of the Dawnguard, so we set up camp and rested there for the night. The rest of them arrived the next day, in the early morning hours, but I asked that we wait with our attack, as Auri-El's bow will work far better in open sunlight. Isran accepted.

After the sun had risen high in the sky, but still before noon, we attacked. As the vampires and gargoyles came running down from the castle, I loosed one arrow to the sun, not knowing exactly what would happen but trusting Gelebor, and it was like nothing I could have imagined. A bright flash, then fire rained from the sky, harming only the undead abominations. (I am sorry, Serana. She is fine, however.)

Every arrow, blessed by Gelebor, that I put into our foes set them ablaze. Incredible. The bow is also far swifter than any I have seen before.

We made it inside the castle, where I killed many vampires, including two elves, one Altmer and one Dunmer (at least, formerly so), who Serana later told me, had been in high positions within the castle. I recalled then having met the Altmer when I took Serana there the first time.

The Dunmer, before I killed him, said "After 400 years, you think you'll be the one to take me down?"

Yes.

After every vampire, gargoyle, and death hound was dead... doubly dead... it was time to face Harkon.

I asked Lucien and Brelyna to stay behind, and they did so with little protest. I care too much and they are not skilled enough to meet such a foe.

Inside was Harkon, in his hideous vampire form, and had the audacity to request me to simply hand the bow over. I refused, naturally, and he commented on my "hypocrisy" for not killing Serana.

Perhaps, but he was quite the hypocrite himself, too, as I seem to recall, his dying words were "No, Serana... your own father..." while he was intent on killing her for the prophecy.

The battle was... frustrating, and I was very grateful to Gelebor for blessing so many arrows, as their sunfire damage truly helped. In the end, Harkon collapsed into a pile of red ash by his shrine to Molag Bal. I would see the entire place turned to rubble, but especially that particular room.

Not everyone survived. Agmaer, the Nord boy I met while first joining the Dawnguard, and Beleval, the delightful Bosmer archer, are dead. I took Beleval's Dawnguard amulet in her memory, and said my usual words over their remains, wishing them well in whatever came next.

Then, we took the boat back. Before we got on the horses, I asked Serana if she had thought about curing herself. She could be her own person, again, and she agreed that it would be nice to "not have to be so thirsty all the time". I suppose my "discussion" with Vyrthur and his leaving might have affected her, as well, even if she did not say so.

In any case, she left, to see Falion, and I do not know when she will return. After that, the three of us went here, to the Winking Skeever, for a night of drinking and celebrating. All on me, of course. Then we said our farewells. Lucien is going back to Dumzbthar, and Brelyna to the College, to "look after it for me".

They are both so sweet and I shall miss them dearly, even if it will only be for a few weeks.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

4th of Evening Star - part 3

Eventually, we came to a halt, as the way ahead of us was collapsed. Brelyna spotted a hole in the ice to the left, and we headed through it, going around the collapse, until we could jump down, back into the corridor. Ahead of us, past the collapsed walls leaning on each other, was the Arch-Curate upon his throne.

I walked up first, my footsteps echoing among the stone and ice. Before I could speak, he did. He mocked us, saying we had done exactly what he had predicted, and even brought him Serana - why he wanted her, I did not understand.

Before I could ask for an explanation, the frozen Jorane and Chaurus burst into life around us. Or reanimation, at least...

These Jorane were like nothing I had seen before. Naked, spindly, with large, sharp teeth sticking out of their mouths, hands clawed. They were almost as far removed from the common Jorane, as the common Jorane are from us. They were not people, they were monsters.

He sent wave after wave of them on to us. He even brought the ceiling of the Chapel down on us, and sent huge chunks of rock flying through the hall. I could see something was odd about him, before the fight began... his eyes were not those of a normal Snow Elf.

They were glowing golden. The only time I had seen eyes like that before, had been in vampires. I did not know how close Gelebor had gotten to his brother since the fall of the Chantry, or what he knew of vampires - perhaps he thought these eyes were only a sign of his corruption - but I was wondering.

Then, in the middle of the fight, Serana yelled a few threatening words to Vyrthur, to which he replied, and I quote this word for word; "Child, my life ended LONG before you were born!" I stood near him when he said this, so over everything else, I heard it loud and clear. He said his life had ended long ago.

That convinced me. Gelebor was mistaken. Vyrthur was a vampire. But what did it mean?

As I turned around and looked at him, he looked up at me. Suddenly, his bored expression turned into curiosity, for the briefest moment, as he saw my face.

Then I heard Brelyna scream, and the moment was broken. I ran back into battle, and Vyrthur summoned a Frost atronach on us. As we defeated it, he stood up, yelled that he would not let us ruin centuries of preparation, and blew up the Chapel.

I sit here, wondering how he did that. All I remember is he gathered a glowing sphere of energy around him, and the explosion happened. We were all knocked off our feet and heavily onto the floor and walls, but miraculously, no one was killed. Vyrthur fled the scene, onto the Chapel balcony. I scrambled to my feet and ran after him.

He stood at the end of the balcony, clasping his shoulder, clearly injured by the explosion. As I got closer, his eyes grew wider, as he realized I was one of his kind.

"I must solve this quick before Serana comes and ruins everything with her razor tongue..." I thought to myself.

I lowered my hood, stretching out my other hand in a calming or shielding manner. "Vyrthur..."

He stared back at me. "Who are you?"

Before I had a chance to answer, Serana came running. "Enough, Vyrthur, give us the bow!" Curses.

He immediately changed tone, looking at Serana in disgust, attempting to rise up to his full height.

"How dare you", he growled. "I was the Arch-Curate of Auri-El, girl. I had the ears of a god!"

"Until the Betrayed corrupted you. Yes, yes, we've heard this sad story", Serana stated dismissively.

Vyrthur shook his head and drew a heavy breath to speak again. "Gelebor and his kind are easily manipulated fools!"

"Look into my eyes. You tell me what I am."

It seems I was the only one who had realized the truth before now, as Serana stared at him, taking two steps back in shock. "You’re... you're a vampire?! But.Auri-El should have protected you!"

"The moment I was infected by one of my own initiates", Vyrthur spat out, "Auri-El turned his back on me!" I swore I would have my revenge, no matter what the cost!"

"You want to take revenge... on a god?" Serana asked, bewildered. Vyrthur frowned, blinked, and grasped his shoulder tighter. "Auri-El himself may have been beyond my reach, but his influence on our world wasn't. All I needed was the blood of a vampire, and his own weapon, Auri-El's bow."

I was confused - Vyrthur created the prophecy? This plan Harkon had grabbed on to, had just been a way for Vyrthur to attempt to defy Auri-El, for abandoning him due to his vampirism? I barely had time to gather my thoughts, shooting some bewildered looks the way of Lucien and Brelyna, who both looked back at me with the same face, before Serana spoke up.

"The blood of a vampire... Auri-El's bow... it was you? You created that prophecy?"

Vyrthur stood up straight and walked over to Serana. "A prophecy that lacked a single, final ingredient. The blood of a pure vampire. The blood of a Daughter of Coldharbour."

He was gloating over her, provoking her, and I saw the flash in Serana's eyes, so I stepped forward before things turned bloody.

"Serana, stop it", I pushed her back, standing between them. I was confused, but despite what this seemed to mean, I really did not want to have to kill Vyrthur. Perhaps I could reason with him. It was worth a chance... reason with a man who had spent millennia plotting his revenge? Doing nothing but festering in hate? Unlikely. But I would try.

"Vyrthur, please, do not do this", I pleaded.

"Who are you?" he repeated from before, confusion deep in his ragged voice.

"I am Talvanis. A Snow Elf, like you. Our people are not gone." He only stared back at me, perplexed.

"You can see you are defeated. I do not want to kill you. There is another way."

"The only way I'll have is with her blood darkening the skies!" he bellowed. "My kin or not, you cannot undo what has been done to me!", and he reached for his dagger.

"Yes, I can!" I yelled quickly, raising my empty hands in an attempt to beseech him. He stopped then, hand firmly grasping his dagger, but it was still sheathed. "Whatever do you mean?" he demanded.

"I am with the Dawnguard", I explained hastily. I could feel a painful knot rising in my stomach. One false move, and one of us would end up dead here. "We are a faction of vampire hunters, but we can cure vampirism. If any one of us would be infected on a mission, there is a way to fix it."

Vyrthur scowled and shook his head in dismissive disbelief. "No. My own god rejected me. If he could not cure me, why would you?"

"I do not know why Auri-El abandoned you, kinsman", I admitted. "I do not know if he was unable or uncaring. The very first vampire was rejected by Arkay in the same way", I quickly remembered from what Lucien had told me on the origins of vampires.

"Perhaps the gods cannot cure vampirism, but-"

"Didn't you hear me? Auri-El turned his back on me the moment I was first infected, not when I transformed!" Vyrthur yelled.

"I prayed, I beseeched him, I begged and pleaded for three full days before the disease took me and turned me into this unholy creature, and Auri-El was deaf to me!" His anger was boiling up, and I could almost physically feel his hate. Not directed at me, but at the god he had dedicated his life to.

"I understand!" I yelled back, feeling forced to break eye contact, hands in front of me. "Just listen for one more minute, and then you may do as you please!"

He grew silent and still then, and I took a few heavy breaths before speaking.

"There is a mage. I do not know how he does it, but I have seen it done. Dawnguard members have been infected, unable to find a shrine before their time was up, and, fully turned into a vampire, they are sent to this man." I paused, letting Vyrthur take in what I was telling him.

"And they return to us, cured and normal. Alive again, like nothing had ever happened to them."

Vyrthur scowled at me. "It may be well and good a few days or weeks into their affliction. Look at me, boy. I have been in this state for well over three thousand years!"

I nodded so slightly, I was not sure if he saw it. To be honest, I was shaking, so nervous was I.

"There is no difference in the time one has been a vampire", Lucien's meek voice interjected. Vyrthur turned his head in his direction, and Lucien looked strangely less fearful than I felt.

"When one turns into a vampire, the body is dead", Lucien continued. "There is no difference between a day old vampire or a thousand year old one. Dead is dead. Turned is turned. If this works for them, it should work for you."

Vyrthur turned his gaze again, looking into empty space.

"Please, brother", I tried, the word slipping out even though I feared I may be vastly overstepping my bounds. I did not want to provoke him again.

"I do not want to kill you, but with the four of us against you alone, that is what will happen if you choose to fight us. Or you could take this chance. Go to Morthal and speak to Falion. If it works..." I did not know what to say beyond this.

I did not want to entertain the possibility that it would NOT work, as it seemed he wanted to stubbornly hold on to disbelief. If it would not work, we would have robbed him of his last chance of revenge, and I did not want him to think of that now.

"You mean..." he spoke, so silent I barely recognized the voice as his, and looked up to meet his gaze, glowing yellow eyes meeting ice blue.

"...you mean there is a way for me to be free of this... wretched state of existence?"

I nodded softly. Vyrthur's head sank again. The mer seemed defeated, confused, and did not look at any one of us as he limped away, once more grasping his injured shoulder, and he made his way down the stairs, and back into the destroyed Chapel.

Just as he stood by the side of his throne, he stood up straight, took one look behind him, and raised his hand with a golden glow. The sound of a chime hit the sun of Auri-El, and the Wayshrine began to rise. When I looked back into the Chapel, Vyrthur was gone.

We made our way down the stairs just as Gelebor stepped through the Wayshrine. He must have heard that a new portal had opened, and looked around himself, blinking in the bright daylight. Then he spotted the destroyed Chapel and muttered a few words to himself, too low for me to hear.

I walked up to him, standing below him at the foot of the steps to the Wayshrine. He looked at me and spoke. "So, the deed has been done." There was no joy or sadness in his voice, only resolution.

"The restoration of this Wayshrine means that Vyrthur must be dead, and the Betrayed no longer have control over him."

I shook my head. "The Betrayed were not responsible for what happened here."

Gelebor's eyes widened, and he frowned. "What? What are you talking about?"

"He is a vampire. He controlled them."

Gelebor's frown smoothed, and a look of astonishment took its place. "A vampire?" he asked incredulously. "I see. That would explain much."

"There is more", I spoke before he could continue. "He is not dead. I know of a man in Morthal who can cure advanced vampirism. I do not know if I managed to convince Vyrthur, but he is gone, and activated this Wayshrine before he left."

Gelebor smiled and shook his head at the same time. This was probably too much for him to take in all at once.

"Well then, if his madness and defilement can be cured, and if he returns, I shall welcome him back as my brother once more. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. All of you", and he looked over to Lucien, Brelyna and Serana.

He looked down for a moment, a hint of sadness flashing over his face. Then he looked up at me again, and smiled.

"Still, deep inside, it brings me joy that the Betrayed weren't to blame for what happened here."

I cocked my head. "Why?"

"Because that means there's still hope that they might one day shed their hatred, and learn to believe in Auri-El once again. It's been a long time since I felt that way and it's been long overdue."

He straightened his back and looked over to my companions. He looked as if he suddenly felt a thousand years younger.

"You risked everything to get Auri-El's Bow, and in turn, you've restored the Chantry. I can't think of a more deserving champion to carry it than you."

And then, behind him, the bow appeared out of thin air, hovering in a gentle glow in the center of the Wayshrine. I took a few tentative steps towards it, but stopped. Gelebor put a hand on my shoulder and looked me straight in the eye.

"Please, take the bow... it's yours."

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Perfect.

I grabbed it, and felt a warmth shoot from my fingertips into my core. It was as light as a feather. Sculpted by Anui-El himself, in a time before time.

It was perfect.

I spent the next hour speaking to Gelebor, about the bow, about the Chantry, and about our people. He never stopped smiling throughout our conversation, save for a few brief moments when we spoke of the Dwemer, or the betrayal, and whether or not the Jorane could ever be themselves again. I am astounded at his optimism and hope.

I am a mere 52 years old, and far darker than him, though I generally think of myself as a cheerful and empathetic being.

I have barely seen the world. He has been through everything, yet he is so incredibly hopeful. He might also be the friendliest and most hospitable man or mer I have ever had the pleasure of encountering.

I desperately wanted to stay, to explore everything in this Vale. But I must leave, and destroy Harkon. Once we have done that, I will return.

I assured Gelebor I would be back shortly, and he said I would be most welcome, before bidding me farewell with these words:

"Farewell, friend. May the light of Auri-El illuminate your darkest hour."

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

4th of Evening Star - part 2

Moving through the tangled maze of structures built inside a small ravine, we found more of Gelebor's old visitors, killed by the Jorane and hung up along the cliff wall. The path led inside a cave, where we, incredibly, managed to not kill a single Jorane.

In a side cave I found another of their "livestock" - a strange, massive bug, round and passive. It must be where they get their more advanced armors and helmets from.

As we exited at the bottom of the ravine, I was shot by a Jorane standing up on a bridge, and had to retreat. Serana fought him from afar, but he lost his footing and fell to his death. I tried finding a path through their "village", but found nothing but a dead end with another frost giant, and some dead Jorane.

In one of their huts, I did find another ancient Falmer book. We had no choice but to go back down the ravine, and further up the stream, was the only way we could find out of this maze, into a deep ice cave.

As expected, even more Jorane inside. It was massive, truly, the largest ice cave I have ever seen. I managed to sneak past most of the Jorane, even their Chaurus (which are usually sharper than their masters, as they are not blind), but I ran into one early on in the cave, and was forced to shoot him.

Deeper into the cave, I found another broken ancient arch, with Jorane fencing built just around it. The tragic irony, they have lost their sight and their minds, and they have no idea the rocks around them were built by their glorious ancestors.

It was late at night when we exited the ice cave on the other side, facing... another Jorane settlement, built high inside a ravine. The snow was still blowing, and it was quickly getting dark. Looking up above us, I spotted a stone bridge overhead. That must be the bridge to the Inner Sanctum. But how to get up there?

The way behind us revealed another two Jorane, as well as a frost giant. No going that way. Going up their walkways, I managed to sneak past and pacify some of them, but eventually, as I knew I would, I came across a Jorane far too powerful for me to pacify... and I still have not mastered the Harmony spell.

I admit it, I do enjoy fighting these heavily armored Jorane one-on-one. Like I did in Blackreach. It does not feel like cutting my way through lost cousins that can barely defend themselves. Rather, it feels like a duel between equals. Axe and shield, heavy armor, mer to mer.

I killed him, but he wounded me, and as soon as I struck him down, I lost my footing and fell, many, many feet, the fall nearly killing me. And to make matters worse, I had landed into a Chaurus nest.

Not the crawling kind, the ones with wings burst into the air just as I landed on top of them. I did not have long to heal myself before they would finish me off. Behind them were two of their masters, coming to see what was making all that noise.

I had screamed as I fought the Chaurus. My stress and fear were reaching critical levels, and I nearly panicked. I almost ran straight into the Jorane and cut them down, but instead, I caught myself in the last moment and cast Pacify on them. Telling them they were lucky I was feeling merciful, though they did not understand, of course.

I had no idea where Serana was, but I could not spare a thought to her at the moment. She would be fine. I ran on wobbly legs to the cave in front of me, an uphill slope with a low ceiling, empty besides for one Jorane I sent on his way with a spell. Breathing so hard it hurt - I think I was near coughing blood at this point - I scrambled up the hill on all fours.

Finally, around the corner, I spotted the last Wayshrine.

The ghost of Prelate... his name sounded similar to Gelebor... Edhelbor, was glowing in the night. I admit it, I was weeping when I finally reached the Wayshrine of Radiance. I had help, but I still do not think the initiates of old had to deal with this much... there were no Jorane here back then. And I wondered why I spent so much effort into not killing the Jorane. They certainly did not feel the same mercy towards me, or anyone else for that matter.

But, all the same, Illusion magic helps me not have to fight them for my own sake, as well. Those poisoned blades are formidable.

As I passed through the Wayshrine back to the Wayshrine of Resolution, I found Lucien and Brelyna huddled inside their blankets, in fact, I almost stepped on Lucien as I passed through. Oh and, Serana had caught up to me before I performed the final ritual.

"You made it!" Lucien piped up. "We were really starting to worry!" "I am fine", I sighed, patting him on the shoulder without looking at him, but I doubt I sounded convincing. I sat down between the two of them, and told them briefly what had happened, before I ate my supper, bedded down and went to sleep for a few hours.

In the morning, all four of us passed through to the Wayshrine of Radiance. The sunrise was just beyond the horizon, and while it was still snowing heavily, now, we could for the first time lay eyes on the Inner Sanctum. The arch, the bridge, it was all intact.

Despite the fact that the last Wayshrine was surrounded by Jorane structures, it seems they would not cross the bridge. Perhaps it was the Arch-Curate scaring them away. But if they corrupted him, why would they fear him?

Perhaps he had become too powerful, and too dark even for them. Perhaps Gelebor was mistaken, and something much darker was going on.

I walked ahead, taking a few deep breaths before setting foot on the bridge for the first time. This was one of the greatest moments of my life, so far, along with seeing the Vale for the first time.

I do not care what the Nords say, Dragonborn this or that, this is my destiny. This is what I came to Skyrim for. I have found the last seat of my race's great culture, and I will see it restored, even if I have to live a thousand years to make it happen.

The front face of the Chapel had truly seen the wear of time, despite the mystery of how the bridge and all the Wayshrines were intact. Large chunks of stone had fallen out of the walls, and the uppermost parts of the walls, and whatever decorations they must have had, had fallen, many centuries ago.

As we walked up the stairs and into the courtyard, we saw a massive statue to Auri-El, similar to the one I found in Kir-Galathur. I knelt before it and prayed to Auri-El to give me strength, and to forgive me for what I must do.

I walked up the stairs then, and poured the water out in the sun shape in the floor. It lit up green, and unlocked the door.

Inside was a bizarre scene. Eerie. Everywhere were Jorane... but they were frozen solid, as were their Chaurus. Most of them were centered around the shrine of Auri-El in the middle of the room, as if they had been staring at it the moment they were frozen. What happened here?

These were the Jorane that killed everyone in the Chantry, most likely, but who froze them? Vyrthur, or Auri-El? Why?

Spread around the vast halls were many of the remains of my fallen kin. Partly mummified, mostly frozen skeletons, stuck in the positions in which they died. Some slumped over. Some partly buried under rubble, as if the ceiling had collapsed when the fight happened - but the Jorane could not have done that. One was hiding under a table.

The scene that broke my heart the most, was one elf who had been killed and stuck under a fallen pillar below the waist, arms over a fallen table, and his or her friend, also partly buried under rubble, was reaching for their hands.

I wanted to weep for them, but I could not. I felt only a numb grief at this point.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

4th of Evening Star - part 1

Naturally, I did not have time to write before this, but I almost wish I had done so, as so much has happened, and I do not know if I will be able to document it all in the detail I experienced it. I will try to be as brief as possible in the parts that are less relevant, to save time and space (and my fingers).

After Gelebor woke us at the requested time (how does he keep track of time?) and we had a light breakfast, we said our goodbyes for now, Gelebor wishing us a safe journey, and we headed through the Wayshrine, into a different cave.

I have no idea how far apart these two caves are, but it seems there is no actual way into the Chantry or Vale itself, except through this portal which Gelebor guards.

The cave was crawling with Jorane and Chaurus, but still, with my Illusion magic, we managed to avoid fighting a lot of them. It is not just about my mercy... I feel less sympathetic now, knowing they killed all the last true Snow Elves here, knowing what they do to people, and knowing their very presence is defiling the Chantry... but we also do not want to fight them, for our own sakes, so Lucien, Brelyna and Serana were all thankful for my spells. (I still cannot do the Harmony spell. It takes too much of my energy.)

I was badly hurt in a trap... a trap that I should have seen. Thankfully, my armor held, but I got horribly bruised, and a couple of broken ribs that a spell managed to fix. Still, I could have easily died.

We found plenty of Gelebor's previous visitors, or their skeletal remains, as well as Jorane huts made by parts of animals no one of us recognized. They were not Chaurus, they were more crab-like, and terrifying.

As we got to the end of Darkfall Passage, as Gelebor called it, we entered a massive cave where strange saber cats and deer were roaming. (I cast Calm on one saber cat, which we later found dead in the waters below. Strange how life works.)

At the end of the cave was the next Wayshrine, tended to by a Prelate, who Gelebor had said was named Sidanyis. This particular Wayshrine stood for Illumination. I recited the mantras, as if I were an initiate... no, I was an initiate.

I may not be able to speak to Auri-El through the Arch-Curate's ears and mouth, but I will complete the pilgrimage, all the same. I am the first of my kind to perform this ritual in thousands of years.

As we stepped through the Wayshrine, we found ourselves in... another cave. But in this one, we heard birdsong, and saw the fading light from outside. It was evening. We had spent the entire day going through Darkfall Passage.

This cave, as well as Darkfall Passage, had massive, sparkling blue rocks, of a similar kind to the ones we saw in Blackreach. Lucien was still not sure whether or not they were aetherium, or something else entirely. I... do not really care.

We stepped outside, and saw the Vale for the first time. It was late, it was getting dark, and it was snowing. The vision was thus not great, but I could see the broken pillars from afar, and to me, dinner and finding a place to sleep could wait.

I did not listen, I did not hear, I only wanted to see this place for myself. Do not disturb me.

Time seemed to stand still for me, then. The broken pillars. The beautiful arches, many still standing tall.

The eery, disturbing feeling of nostalgia mixed with grief and admiration. I stroke the stone. How the hand of my people had laboured to build something like this. How many had passed through them, in search of enlightenment.

How this had been one of the last bastions of Snow Elf culture and survival, aside from my own clan. I shed silent tears. I wanted to be alone. I did not want the others to see me, but they were not far behind, and they did.

Lucien was silent. Brelyna tried to comfort me, but I walked away.

We found the next Wayshrine, the Wayshrine of Sight, not far away, tended to by Prelate Athring. After finishing the ritual, I agreed to use the structure as a shelter for the night, as it was getting dark, and the snowy winds were not letting up. But before we did, I told the others to wait, as I headed off on my own for a while, needing to be alone. An hour later, I returned, and went to sleep.

In the morning, we headed out of the birch grove, into the larger area of the Vale itself. It was not long before we found the next Wayshrine, overlooking a massive waterfall and the river below. This one, the Wayshrine of Learning, was posted by Prelate Celegriath. As I finished the ritual, I spotted a large building far in the distance, up on a cliff.

"Look!" I pointed it out to Lucien. "See that building, up on the mountain?" Lucien's eyes searched for a moment. It was still early morning, cloudy, and the rock of the structure was the same color as the mountain. "Ah, yes", he said when he finally spotted it.

"That must be where we're going!" he peeped.

"Yes, the Inner Sanctum."

I walked out on a small cliff jutting out towards the river, knelt down and prayed.

We explored the area around the river, and back up the hill where we had come from, I found a weathered skeleton hunched over an old Falmer chest. In front of it was a book, with the sun of Auri-El on the front cover. Remarkably well-preserved, considering, but the language inside was too archaic for me to understand properly. Gelebor should be able to translate it for me, later.

Further down the river, we found a giant... but not like any giant I had ever seen before. It looked like a Skyrim giant and frost troll had had a baby, but it had four eyes, and two horns on top of its head. It waved its club against us, threateningly, and we passed by peacefully, deciding we did not need to mess with it.

Up on the hill was the fourth Wayshrine, the Wayshrine of Resolution, tended to by Prelate Nirilor. It was here that I decided to ask Lucien and Brelyna to stay behind. The only way ahead was a small city of Jorane.

I could pass them with relative ease, with my skills in stealth and Illusion, and Serana is... one, not to be left behind, and two, it would not weigh as heavily on my conscience if she were to be hurt or killed as if it happened to Lucien or Brelyna.

I treasure her and she is my friend, but she is an ancient vampire and she takes responsibility for her own safety.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

2nd of Evening Star

It is now in the middle of the night, and I am getting down to sleeping in my snow bear bedroll. We are in a cave, in the company of a very unexpected, but very friendly and welcoming host.

I will only document the Elder Scroll reading and ritual briefly, to document it, because that is not where my mind is, right now.

We came to Ancestor Glade, I collected the bark as instructed, moths gathered around me, and I opened the scroll. Nervous, as this was such an important moment, and I had no idea what would happen to me.

My whole vision lit up like flashes of blinding lightning. "This is it", I thought. "I am going blind". But within seconds, it had passed, and an image was taking shape in the scroll. I described it aloud to the others as it happened.

"I see glowing runes... flashes... a line is taking shape. It is carving itself out, like a river. I think it is... wait... there are symbols appearing. One, like a... womb? Two arches joined by a center? The second is a ram's head. A glow, in the mountain between them. That is where we are going. It fades..." And it was all over, much quicker than I had expected.

"Are you okay?" Serana asked. "I almost thought we lost you there. You went as white as the snow." "I am fine", I said.

"Lucien, quick, give me your map". Lucien fumbled through his bag for a moment before handing me his map, and I unrolled it. "That is the river I saw!" My finger traced the line of the Karth River, taking note of the distinct curve I saw in the middle, and how it fades towards Solitude.

"Here!" I pointed to the northwest of the Reach. "This is where Auri-El's bow is." "Are you sure?" Lucien asked. "Absolutely."

It was called Darkfall Cave, the scroll told me. I do not know how, but I just knew that was its name.

Unfortunately, the vampires were on to us, and attacked just as we were leaving the glade, along with their thralls. We defeated them, and went on our way north. By late evening, we had arrived to the cave entrance.

Inside was a regular-looking cave, the only problem being, we could only find one way to progress - down a deep hole into an underground river. Or an underground rapid, would be a more fitting description. I looked down at it, and decided it was not worth it.

Just as I was heading back over the rope bridge to perhaps find a different way, the bridge snapped, sending me tumbling down the rapids alone. After a few frightening moments, I managed to break through the surface and keep my head above water.

As I did, I saw huge frostbite spiders coming down all around; no doubt they had spotted me. But the rapids were not over.

Passing through another cave, I was eventually thrown onto solid ground, where the river turned into a low waterfall. I had still not left the massive frostbite spider nest, however, as they came crawling and dropping all around me. Who knows what they eat, save for the lonely adventurer every ten or twenty years.

Within moments, Lucien, Brelyna and Serana landed behind me, with more or less grace than I had. (At least me and Lucien have armored knees.)

We killed all the spiders (Serana, if you would please stop necromancing them), and headed deeper into the cave. It was not long before we found one of said adventurers. A woman, dead by her fireplace. Killed violently, quite recently, it would seem. Her note described trolls, of which we later found two, so it would seem they did it.

Passing down still deeper, revealed a vast cavern, relatively low, but wide and long. Half of it covered in ankle-deep water (knee-deep for Brelyna and Lucien).

I shot both trolls, and looked ahead, to the far end of the cave, where I thought I saw someone standing. It was very far away, but I kept my gaze focused, and saw that there was indeed a person there, next to a shrine.

I could not tell from so far away, yet, but he looked very pale, hair as white as snow.

"Surely, it is not possible...", I thought to myself.

I looked to the others without a word. They were silent as well, only looked back at me, as bewildered as I was. As I got closer, it became clear that this was, indeed, another of my kind. Another Falmer. A lost brother.

I was at this point still covered from head to toe in my Dawnguard armor and dark hood, so he never recognized me for what I am. Instead, he welcomed us as he would anyone stumbling onto his cave. He spoke, with a deep, but kind and reassuring voice.

"Come forward. You have nothing to fear here."

While I already knew he was one of my people, he did not yet recognize me as one. When we got closer, the guardian's eyes grew wide as he looked at me. He was silent for a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts, then spoke, "In all these years, never would I have dreamed another of my kind would set foot here again."

"Tell me, young one, what is your name?" he asked of me. I spoke solemnly in return, never breaking eye contact, "I am Talvanis. I come from a small enclave of Snow Elves hidden in the Jerall Mountains."

The other elf smiled, then, a warm, genuine smile that seemed to light up his entire being, like he had just heard the best news in many years. And it probably was. (I do think I saw a small twinkle of a tear there, too.)

"I am Knight-Paladin Gelebor", he introduced himself then, with a formal tone "Welcome to the Great Chantry of Auri-El"

Gelebor explained that in all his years as a guardian of the Chantry, he had not had a single visitor except for those looking for Auri-El's bow, leading him to guess our intention immediately.

What did he say - for thousands of years? But how is what even possible? He does not look a day over two hundred. How could he possibly have lived this long, and all alone, at that?

Divine intervention is the only thing I can imagine. He serves Auri-El, the god of time. He is the last remaining survivor after everyone else in the Chantry was killed. In his words, "by the grace of Auri-El", five priests have been restored after their deaths into a spectral, semi-conscious state, to keep performing their duties even in death.

I suppose then, that preventing his last Knight-Paladin from aging would be no small feat for the god of time.

Gelebor said he could help us get the bow, but that it is not in his direct possession, but rather that of his brother, the former Arch-Curate himself. How he, Vyrthur, had never been the same after the Chantry fell, and how Gelebor believed it was the Jorane who corrupted his brother into darkness in a similar fashion to them.

Gelebor wants us to kill Vyrthur, to put an end to the corruption it seems nothing else will cure. If we do this, the bow will be ours.

I feel torn, confused and slightly horrified about what I have learned here. I have to kill a fellow Falmer - not a Jorane, but someone like me, like Gelebor. He insists his brother is beyond hope, and I have not seen it for myself, so I will simply have to take his word for it, until I do.

I consider myself a rather good judge of character, and Gelebor comes across to me as very honest, honorable, and compassionate. If he is lying and has dark motives, he is a master manipulator, and I do not believe it, though I have only known him for a couple of hours.

Lucien, who has studied the Dwemer but not spent two thoughts on the ancient Falmer before he met me, was beside himself with fascination, over the stonework, the magic, the Knight-Paladin, and, of course, the Wayshrine. As was Brelyna.

Serana, on the other hand, was actually quite rude when asking Gelebor about their religious rituals. He insists the only way to reach the bow and his brother is to follow in the footsteps and rituals of the initiates who once visited this place in search of enlightenment. Serana, hearing this, was sarcastic and called it "nonsense", earning a few mean glares from me.

Enough writing now... I am exhausted from all the traveling and all that I have learned, and we only have a few hours to sleep.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

1st of Evening Star

Today is the day.

After destroying the Dark Brotherhood, I returned home, slept for a few hours, and all four of us headed out to Fort Dawnguard, to tell Sorine and Gunmar of our success. After this, we headed all the way back up to Dragon Bridge, to inform Commander Maro. On the way, east of Windhelm, we encountered a strange cave surrounded by Dwemer piping. Very strange.

Later, we headed back to Winter Cove, to prepare for the journey to find Auri-El's bow, making sure we were not missing anything, or carrying anything that would hold us down. Packing enough food for... more than a week.

I do hope the horses get a chance to rest after this, as they have had to do a lot of running lately. (By "the horses", I of course mean Frost and Nardil, Brelyna's horse, as Clive and Alsvid are not technically horses...)

Now, we are ready. We are going to Ancestor Glade, to perform the ritual and read the Elder Scroll.

May Auri-El protect me...

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

29th of Sun’s Dusk

It is done. The Dark Brotherhood - hopefully, as I do not know how many of them  there actually are - is gone.

I slept for a few hours in the evening, then got into my Dawnguard gear, prayed to Auri-El before the fireplace, pulled my black hood on, and headed out, leaving Frost as well. I ran north, all  the way up to their hideout, near Falkreath.

The first to  die was your typical Nord brute. Hairy, bearded, swinging that battle axe like an arthritic frost giant. The second was an Argonian with a single sword. After that, deeper into the hideout - which was clearly constructed out of an old Nord ruin - a female Dunmer who tried to shoot me with a longbow, but I  had my shield, and shot her instead.

The last was an old Destruction mage, who was so good at his Firestorm spells, I  needed my Frost atronach to back me up. In the end, they all died the way they killed others. I used the stealth I had practiced with the Jorane, and my skills in archery, my glass war axe and shield, and  Frost magic to take them out, one by one.

I need to stop now. I am starting to sound like one of them, myself, and I will not let myself  go further than this. Still, what I did was necessary, and I feel no rush or thrill from it, only somber satisfaction.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

28th of Sun’s Dusk

The day after Fort Dawnguard, we rode north, to the College, as I needed to speak with Master Neloren and learn my first Master Illusion spell, Harmony.

He sent me on a strange errand through the College grounds, but in the end, I found what I needed, and could learn the spell. With Harmony, I will be able to face even more powerful creatures, and render them unwilling to fight, making our future endeavours easier, certainly in the short run in this vital mission to find Auri-El's bow.

We spent the night at the College, and on the next day, headed west towards Dawnstar. Not surprisingly, we had to ride through a minor blizzard. (Minor, for Winterhold, that is.)

Lucien and Brelyna held their hoods tighter, teeth clattering despite their much-needed warmth spells, while I rode comfortably, barely needing that black hood I took from Astrid (it has an archery enchantment).

"The only thing I don't like about snow", I said (shouted), "is that it blocks the view". And it is true. The near-horizontal winds make it much harder to spot frost trolls, ice wraiths, giants and bandits in the distance... and we met all of those.

Yes, indeed, a giant this far north. I am impressed how they stay out in only a loincloth even in this extreme climate, even though they are descended from Atmorans. We ended up in a scuffle (is that the word they use?) between a giant and some bandits, and after the bandits were dead, the giants turned to us, so we had to kill it.

Oh, I forgot to write... on our way UP to Winterhold, the day before, we met a very powerful mage, a female Altmer if I recall correctly (it is now several days ago and I cannot remember every mage), who commanded a storm atronach. I had never seen one of those before, and we only barely escaped with our lives.

Shock is a highly deadly form of magic, but while I focus on frost as a Destruction skill, thankfully, Lucien is proving to be quite efficient at shock. (Then there is Brelyna, with her favored flames.)

We passed through Dawnstar for some ores (I need quicksilver for my arrows, and iron for transmuting), we then headed south to the bandit camp where Sorine's exploding crossbow bolt schematics would be. It also happened to be a massive iron mine, where we stayed the night after finding what we came for, then left in the morning of the 27th, heading east through Dragon Bridge, past Solitude, and on to the cave where Gunmar's master vampire would be hiding.

It was a truly spectacular cave. I have not seen anything quite like it before. From what we overheard from the bandits there, there had been a cave-in, preventing their boats from leaving. I usually would not be so callous, but these were marauders and pirates after all, so I will say I got a lot of target practice while in there... plenty of these bandits could be taken easily with a single shot (most of them, however, I only injured with my bow, but I am getting better).

In the end, the master vampire we found was a male Altmer, who we fought after all his marauders were dead. He was, no doubt, extremely skilled and would have easily killed me had I been alone, and less careful. But in the end, we defeated him.

We spent the night in that cave's massive wooden tower, leaving in the morning for a quick stop in Solitude, where we were met by a dragon, by the stables. It was massive, red with a black belly, and took out several of the Solitude guards before we brought it down.

After this, we headed south to Dragon Bridge, where I told the guards about how I had killed Astrid, and they pointed me to the Penitus Oculatus outpost.

Inside, their local Commander was impressed, thankful, and sent me on my way to kill the rest of the... wait a minute! They are the trained elite force working on rooting out the Brotherhood for years! I am just a simple adventurer who happened to kill an assassin to defend my own life! Why should not they do it?

I figured I was sent as a piece of meat, with the hopes of perhaps killing one or two of them before being killed myself, but being the helpful moron that I am, I agreed.

I will take no one else with me, however. I am now at home, in Winter Cove, with Lucien, Brelyna and Serana, and they will stay behind. I am going there tonight.

May Auri-El forgive me for being an idiot.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

24th of Sun’s Dusk

I have not written much lately, as we have taken a step back to relax and get some minor things done, before we go to Ancestor Glade.

All the Elder Scrolls are safe (relatively speaking) with us for now. The vampires do not have them, so they cannot progress with their mission. I have spent these days crafting, studying, and going from town to town selling my handiworks.

On the 21st, me, Lucien and Brelyna joined me on an exploration trip northwest, following the mountain range to Markarth.

I was hoping to find some more ancient Falmer ruins, but no luck so far. I did show Lucien and Brelyna the small temple or hideout a short way west of us, the one I had found while Lucien was in Dumzbthar.

It is a strange building. Very small, and seems to have been a place of retreat for some individual or group of individuals. In the center is a pedestal that seems like it can be activated, but I do not know how, yet.

(Just a random picture of me and Frost hunting vampires)

"Clive says you smell of cheese", Lucien mentioned, as we were riding through the pine forest. "I'm sorry, but it's just what he thinks". Well alright then... I suppose there are worse smells that one can be attributed to. (Though that does depend on the type of cheese, I realized just now.)

On the way, we encountered another Dwemer ruin, in the far southwest of the mountains. Lucien persuaded us to go inside, but once we did, it seems all three of us shared the same, uneasy feeling. It was only a few steps down the first hallway before a voice was heard, saying "turn back". A tired, sad voice.

We all looked at each other at the same moment, heard the same thing, and turned right out of that ruin.

We spent the late day in Markarth, selling more of my crafts, and stayed the night in the Silver-Blood Inn. Despite the uneasy feeling in this city, and the revolting Dwemer architecture, I do like the inn.

It is spacious yet cozy at the same time, and not a dingy piece of rotting wood, like some. The owners and their troubled marriage however, I could do without. (The nicest inn in Skyrim is however still the one in Solitude. I have not set foot in all of them yet, but I cannot imagine there are any less Nord- or Dwemer-inspired than the Winking Skeever.)

The next day, we headed home, spent one night, then headed north, past the Whiterun tundra. The three of us spent the night sleeping in our bedrolls on a small mountain to the northwest of Whiterun. I wanted to see these mountains, again, to possibly find some remains left behind by my ancestors. Nothing.

On our brief stay home, I also crafted a new set of armor for Frost, matching my own armor I purchased from the Dawnguard. They do make armor for dogs, too, but not for horses, so I copied the design on a larger scale.

On the 24th, we headed east, all the way past Windhelm, near the Morrowind border. I had never gone this far east before, save for our visits to Solstheim. The snowy peaks of the northern Velothi mountains looked like another great place to explore, and once we encountered a hunter's camp in an open field, I spotted some peculiar stonework in the distance.

There were steps made of stone, definitely in the style of my people. As we headed further up, the arches became visible. Pillars, broken at the base. A shrine to Auri-El, broken and half-buried in the snow. We followed the steps to the top, where there was a small cave (small as in a few feet deep), with three frost trolls. We killed the trolls, and explored further. It seems to have been a place of worship or pilgrimage, rather than of dwelling.

We then continued southwest, across the geyser field, to the same large shrine to all the elven gods that I had found with Lucien a couple of months ago. Nearby was a cave, with spider egg sacs covering the entrance. Brelyna wanted to look inside, but once we did, we decided quickly not to progress. Spiders, spiders and more (and larger) spiders. Not worth it.

After this, we headed back to Fort Dawnguard, and received a mission each from both Sorine and Gunmar. Sorine wanted us to retrieve a schematic for exploding crossbow bolts. Alright.

Gunmar wanted us to kill another master vampire, holed up with some bandits north of Solitude. That is a long way away... now we are in the fort, and going to head out again tomorrow.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

19th of Sun’s Dusk

We are back home, in Winter Cove. After I wrote my last entry, me and Serana headed back to Fort Dawnguard, where Lucien and Brelyna were waiting.

The Moth Priest, Dexion, wanted to know whether or not we had been successful, and we explained that we now had all three Elder Scrolls. Unfortunately, he had been blinded by the first reading, and would be of no further help to us. I was stunned with disappointment and confusion. What would we do now?

Dexion explained however, that there was another way to read them. I could be able to read them myself, if I took them to an "Ancestor Glade" where special moths would be found... and they would help me read it.

It sounds mad, and he assured me that the risk of blinding or madness was still there, but it all depends on how much I am willing to risk on finding Auri-El's bow. I did not quite understand it, but I have no choice but to trust him, and I know what I have to do.

Leaving on the morning of the 17th, we headed to Raldbthar, a Dwemer ruin near Windhelm, which had bandits taking up the rooms we saw (I expect that if we were to go deeper, we would find Jorane), in order to fetch a schematic for Sorine.

We spent the night in an inn, and on the next morning, were on our way to Mzinchaleft, another Dwemer ruin (that brings my total up to... five? Mzulft, Dumzbthar, Alftand, Raldbthar, and now Mzinchaleft), in order to find the sword for that nice Nord woman in Riften.

The three of us delved deep into the ruin, before we reached an open area, with walkways over a body of water. There were so many Jorane around, blocking many of the paths, I decided to go on ahead, asking the others to stay behind.

In one part, I had to go underwater for an extended period of time, which would not have worked without a potion of waterbreathing. It is strange to look at these rooms, now submerged, and think that people used to live there. And not just the Dwemer, but my enslaved kin, as well.

Eventually, I found the sword, Grimsever, and could go back to the surface, but not before battling a steam centurion on my own. To make matters even more amusing, after we returned to the surface, a dragon attacked nearby, and it ended up being only me and an Imperial soldier fighting the dragon, as Lucien and Brelyna got separated from me.

After this, we headed back to Fort Dawnguard, to provide Sorine with the schematics she requested, as well as to visit Riften and give Mjoll (that was her name which escaped me) back her sword. They were both very grateful.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

16th of Sun’s Dusk

The last few days have been eventful to say the least. I was not even allowed to finish a good night's sleep in the Morthal inn where I wrote my last entry.

Instead, I was kidnapped, and dragged into a little shack in the swamps, by none other than the leader of the Dark Brotherhood herself, a woman named Astrid.

She explained that I had stolen a kill from the Dark Brotherhood, and that I must repay. I interpreted this as me having to die, and was already planning on how to fight this assassin on her home turf when she explained that I had to kill another person. That makes no sense, but I digress.

In the shack with us, were three people, bound and gagged, and my job was to figure out which of these three had a contract on him or her - and kill said person. Details do not matter, I refused to take part, and instead, when it seemed as if I had made my choice, swept around and attacked Astrid.

She was good. Naturally. She was very good, but she was after all an assassin, specialized in stealth and sudden kills in the dark, not open battle and duels with armed and trained opponents, necessarily. While I am.

So in the end, I overpowered and killed her. Her last words? "Well done."

I do not know what that meant.

After this, I released the prisoners and returned to Morthal, where a stumped Serana was looking for me.

So much for a "creature of the night". She could not even keep me from being kidnapped out of a public place.

On the 13th, we headed for Castle Volkihar. After fighting through rogue vampires, death hounds, gargoyles and spiders, finding the necessary clues and making our way to a distant tower, we finally found what Serana's mother had been working on.

At this time, it was late at night again, and I desperately needed sleep before proceeding. In the early morning hours, after gathering the correct ingredients around Valerica's laboratory, we managed to open the portal... to the Soul Cairn.

Moving into the abyss caused me great pain however, and a sizzling sound was heard, as if I was being disintegrated alive.

Serana said she suspected as much, and said only the undead can enter, giving me two options. Either she would turn me into a vampire, or she would "partially soul trap" me. I had never heard of such a thing before, and it concerned me, but I could not imagine being turned into a vampire.

I cannot imagine what the Dawnguard would think, for one. And I trust Serana. I may not be good with manipulation, but I do believe I know honesty when I see it, and I see it in her, despite everything.

So I trusted her with my life and my soul, and allowed her to soul trap me... partially. After this, I could enter the Soul Cairn without difficulty.

Words do not exist that can explain the Soul Cairn accurately, but I will do my best.

A desolate wasteland. No... death and misery turned into a landscape. Lost souls wandering everywhere, crying out their suffering. Black skeletons - far more powerful and dangerous than any necromanced corpses found on Nirn - attacking you from all corners. Always lightning and thunder, always a sickly purple haze. The ground strewn with bones and ash.

The buildings themselves are terrifying. Tall, angular, heavy and angry-looking in their structure. At the end of it, the sight of those stones made me feel sick.

We wandered this landscape - this realm of Oblivion, it must be - for probably an entire day. At the end of that day, we found Serana's mother, imprisoned in one of these structures. She had sought refuge there, but was tricked by the "Ideal Masters", and so, had retreated into the building for protection. There were three "Keepers" that we needed to defeat in order to free Valerica, so that she would be able to give us the Elder Scroll she kept.

She was a hard woman, clearly, and immediately suspicious of me and protective of her daughter, but she was won over when I returned victoriously from battling the Keepers - the third of which, I had to fight entirely on my own, suspended on a hovering structure in the sky, where Serana had been unable to follow.

The Keepers were fierce and terrifying. As tall as giants, dressed in dragon armor, and without faces, only black clouds for heads.

After we had defeated them and destroyed the magical barrier surrounding Valerica's prison, she led us to the Elder Scroll, but we were interrupted by the undead dragon Durnehviir. He attacked us, along with hordes of these same black skeletons, and we defeated him. A stunned Valerica led us to the Elder Scroll, and we were on our way.

Just outside the building, however, Durnehviir had returned. It seems an undead dragon in Oblivion cannot be killed like the ones I know. He had a request of me.

To merely call his name on Nirn, to give him a brief glimpse of freedom he had not had in thousands of years, after being imprisoned by the Ideal Masters. He was too far gone to be freed entirely, but he asked me to give him these fleeting moments, and he would fight for me.

Why? He respected me for being the first to ever defeat him, and called me one of his own, a Dovah. I did not understand, as I am not a dragon, and he agreed that it did not make sense, but that he “felt compelled” to refer to me as such, and that "in time", perhaps the reason will be revealed to us.

On the evening of the 15th, we left the Soul Cairn, after spending two whole days there.

And I am sure I will live with nightmares for years to come.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

12th of Sun's Dusk

I am writing this from the Morthal inn, with only Serana to accompany me.

We left after one night in Winter Cove, headed east, for Riften and Fort Dawnguard, to tell Gunmar of our success, and meet with Florentius again. After this, in the morning of the 12th, we headed for Riften, to fulfill the Aretino boy's wishes.

She may be a truly vile woman who might even deserve to die, but I simply could not take matters into my own hands and play the assassin Aventus believed me to be.

I also could not in good conscience leave these children in her "care", knowing what I know. So instead, I went up to a guard near the keep, and told him of the abuse going on at the orphanage.

To my surprise, he took it seriously, and wanted to go see for himself immediately, to arrest Grelod if need be. Walking in, he charged Grelod for her crimes, but she simply refused to go. She spat and yelled and cursed at him, and when the guard moved forward to arrest her, she pulled a knife on him, flailing in the air. The guard then took matters into his own hands and killed her right there.

What a mean spitfire she was. And all the children... celebrated and cheered, praising Aventus.

"Kill one person, you can solve so many problems. I wonder at the possibilities", one little girl said. All... right.

We headed to Windhelm and told Aventus, who was overjoyed, and "paid" me with a plate, said to be his old family heirloom.

Now, we are headed for Castle Volkihar.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

11th of Sun’s Dusk - part 3

I have never seen anything like it, nor imagined anything like it.

Lucien told me what he had read while we traveled to Alftand, but he was not really sure it actually existed, and any accounts he had read failed to live up to the beauty and vastness of the place.

A cavern stretching under half of Skyrim, ceiling so high it almost has a sky of its own. Everywhere, lit up by giant glowing mushrooms, and strange crystal formations, which Lucien was very curious about.

The first thing we saw in front of us was a small Dwemer building with a sphere automaton in front of it. Within a minute, a heavily armored Jorane arrived, and the two fought. The Jorane won, and returned from where he came.

We entered the small building, which contained the skeleton of an elf, an Altmer, who had come here about two hundred years ago, and set up a kind of laboratory. Despite the dead body accompanying us, we had to sleep, and this was the safest place to do so.

In the morning, we made it down, sneaking, to a small river running through the whole of Blackreach. There were many Jorane, but they were spread out, so we could avoid them most of the time, and we managed to avoid killing any of them - in the open at least.

What we did kill however, were their Chaurus pets, both in their normal and flying forms.

We did find another Wispmother down here, their elven ears and pale skin making me uncomfortable as to their potential origins.

In abundance were what seemed like glowing ore veins, but which were in fact soul gem veins. I mined dozens of them.

As we got further down the river, it turned into massive waterfalls falling into a small lake. Everywhere were Dwemer towers, roads and stairs, and everywhere, these strange, tube-like crystal formations grew.

In the middle of Blackreach, was a massive structure with towers and walkways, patrolled by the Jorane. Above it was a sunlike orb, clearly Dwemer in origin, and it lit up a good part of the surrounding area.

As we entered part of the building, to our horror and confusion, there were people in there - not Jorane, but humans, speaking Tamrielic, and seeming to be walking around freely.

They wore rags and lived around the Jorane, perhaps as their serfs, but who would do that? Have the Jorane put spells on them, or what could possibly make a human wish to go underground and live, serving the Jorane? Very strange indeed.

Some of them attacked us, and we were forced to kill them.

When we exited the building, we were cornered by four Jorane archers and several of their serfs. We killed all but three of the Jorane, who I put Illusion spells on. As we got to another, higher part of the massive building, we were separated, and I ended up alone on a high platform, together with one massively armored warrior Jorane.

He must have been as tall as me, or nearly, and very well-trained.

It was the one Jorane kill so far I can say I did not feel sorry about. Not because he was 'evil' or that he needed to die, but because it felt like a battle between... equals, in a very strange way. No one else was there, we had the platform all to ourselves, suspended above the Dwemer sun. We fought with axe and shield, for many minutes, before I gained the upper hand and slew him.

I am astonished by how they manouver around without eyesight, but it would seem their ears have become their eyes. Their sense of hearing is exceptional, as evident by the fact that they can shoot you from across a field just by listening to your footsteps.

I do not know if their lack of noses actually help with a sense of smell, or what they do with it, but their ears are clearly far larger than those of my direct kin.

After the duel, I found Lucien, Brelyna and Serana again, and we headed further into Blackreach. In a distant corner, we found a small building near what looked like an old farm. We slept there for the night, then, on the morning of the 11th of Sun's Dusk, proceeded to the nearby tower, what had to be the tower of Mzark. (Lucien had deciphered enough of Septimus' babbling to know where we needed to go.)

Inside, we found another massive Dwemer construct of the same type as we found in Mzulft, the one projecting the map of magical artifacts. This one was supposed to contain an Elder Scroll. I got the hang of it much quicker this time, and opened it within minutes.

Lucien asked to see it, saying he knew about all the risks, but when he "read" it, he seemed... disappointed?

He did not speak of it further, and I have no idea what it was about.

Thankfully, the tower of Mzark had a direct exit to the surface, which placed us far, far south from where we had initially entered, which meant... our horses were not there. Except for Lucien's Daedroth horse Clive, that is. So Lucien had to ride back to Alftand and pick up Frost for me. Frost is a superb horse, but he is mortal, and cannot just magically find me wherever I turn up.

Soon after, we were met with a dragon, and Brelyna got her first taste of a dragon battle. After that, we crossed the Whiterun tundra to find this Master vampire Gunmar had ordered us to kill. In the end, we all got back to Winter Cove intact.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

11th of Sun’s Dusk - part 2

We left the city and headed for Winterhold, where I went immediately for Urag, to ask him about Elder Scrolls. He was as protective and condescending as he always was, but gave me a couple of books about the scrolls. That was it.

Looking through the pages of one of them, seeing that it was complete nonsense, I asked Urag about it. He explained that the author, an expert on the Elder Scrolls, had hid himself away in the ice fields, north of Winterhold, years ago.

Before heading out, I visited my old quarters in the college, where I found Brelyna, who asked if I could help her with some spells.

Well... I agreed, helpful fool that I am, and she transformed me into various beasts before finally giving me back my true shape, thanking me for my help, although her spells had failed. Before we headed out of the room, Brelyna asked what we were up to. She was not prodding, she was just being curious and friendly.

“We are on Dawnguard business today, not College business”, I let her know with a smile. “Oh...” her expression faded. “...what is the Dawnguard?”

Of course. She has spent who knows how many months seeing nothing but these walls, and the College is very isolated (and not only because of its location). She had probably heard little or nothing about the vampires.

“They - we - are a faction of vampire hunters. Me and Lucien joined a month ago, and we have been tasked with finding an Elder Scroll.” Brelyna’s eyes widened. “An Elder Scroll? But how on Nirn do you hope to find something like that? And what will you do with it once you have it?”

“A moth priest will read it”, I explained briefly. “Where we will find it - well, that is why we are here, to ask Urag for help. He pointed us to a scholar living in the northern ice fields.” Brelyna nodded slowly, likely thinking about what I told her.

“You can come with us, if you want? Technically, it can still be considered College business”, I joked. She smiled. “I would love to. It gets very repetitive to look and walk among the same walls every day, and you never learn as well in books as you do in the field.” “I agree completely. We leave in an hour.”

Before we left the room to prepare, I had to introduce (explain) Serana.

“Now, Brelyna... I trust you understand that this is a delicate mission, that requires you to be silent when others ask you about what we are doing, and that you must trust us entirely, as we must trust you.” She looked serious then, all of a sudden, taking in the gravity of the moment. She nodded.

“Here”, I gestured to introduce Serana. “...is Serana. She is, if you had not already noticed, a vampire. I know it is confusing, but she is here to help us. I will explain more later, but she has already done more than enough to earn our trust.” Brelyna frowned, looking back and forth between Serana and me.

“It’s nice to meet you”, Serana said with her usual honey-smooth voice. “I understand if you will be wary at first. I didn’t trust these two at first either. But I have my reasons for helping the Dawnguard. If you want to help us, I’ll be glad to have you along.”

We spent the rest of the day scouring the northern ice fields, with great difficulty, as there is no actual solid land where this mad scholar lives, other than small islands, that is.

Once we did find an old wooden door leading into an ice cave, we were met with a laughing, mad old Imperial speaking in half-sentences at best. As I had guessed, he revealed eventually that the scrolls themselves had "damaged his mind". He spoke in such vague terms, I needed Lucien to explain them to me.

(Lucien was very intrigued by the enormous Dwemer cube inside the room, the object of Septimus' current obsession.)

Septimus wanted something from us, in turn. He gave us clues, at best, to find the scroll, but he did not want it himself. He gave us a Dwemer cube to use in a machine, to transfer the knowledge of the scroll onto the cube, for him to read. I did not understand half of it, but agreed. All I knew was to find "Alftand", and "tower Mzark", in "Blackreach". Alftand was supposed to be the gate to Blackreach.

While heading to Alftand - the location of which Lucien knew, of course - we were caught in a blizzard, and it was very late at night. Fortunately, we were relatively close to the same lighthouse Lucien and I had stayed in recently, and I told the whole party to head for it.

Despite Lucien's torch (it is a wonder it did not blow out more than it did) and my candlelight spell, we lost sight of each other several times. Eventually however, we all made it safely to the lighthouse, where the corpses had been cleared out but enough of the chaos was still present to lead a shocked Brelyna to ask what had happened there.

After explaining briefly, I asked Lucien and Brelyna to remain upstairs, while me and Serana go below, briefly. I had just learned of the properties of Chaurus eggs, and thought that this might be the one place with the most Chaurus eggs in all of Skyrim. Again, casting Illusion spells around me and not killing a single Jorane, we made it to the nest, where the queen had (thank the gods) still not been replaced, and I collected hundreds of eggs.

After spending the night in the lighthouse, we headed out and found Alftand, early on the morning of the 8th of Sun's Dusk. It was a massive Dwemer ruin - it is difficult to be sure, as Dumzbthar and Mzulft were not exactly small - but it might be the biggest one I have seen.

Of course, as we went deeper into the ruin, signs of the Jorane revealed themselves, slowly. First, an abandoned shield. Then, a helmet. Then the fences built by them. Finally, the Jorane and their Chaurus guardians, themselves.

Brelyna was apparently quite ignorant of the story of the Falmer - clever and charming as she is, she has spent all her life up until recently in Morrowind - and was at first hesitantly curious at these objects, then horrified at the sight of the creatures, then, after the first battle with a group of them, in which I was forced to kill my fourth - I told her.

“Brelyna”, she turned suddenly at hearing her name, looking up at me. “There is something I must tell you, about why I am reluctant to fight these creatures.”

“Alright.” She is nothing if not a patient listener. I took a deep breath.

“You know they are called Falmer. You know they are fellow elves, once, not so different from you and me.” I paused. “You also remember the story Tolfdir told us, when we excavated Saarthal?” She nodded. I continued.

“I remember you mentioning ‘your ancestors’ killing Onmund’s ancestors, and I suppose you believed the elves involved in sacking Saarthal were Dunmer, as we are so close to Morrowind. But they were not Dunmer. They were Falmer, or ancient Snow Elves. A great civilization that ruled Skyrim before the Nords ever set foot here.” Brelyna said nothing, but her face showed that she was listening and wanted me to continue.

Lucien shifted on his feet in the background, and Serana was getting bored, moving around the walkways.

“I am a Snow Elf, Brelyna. These creatures,” I gestured to the corpse laying between us. “...is one of my former kin.” Brelyna’s eyes widened and her brow furrowed, looking at me in disbelief, then down to the dead Jorane, in horror.

“You look surprised”, I stated with a flat tone, not sure how to act. It was not long since I had hidden my face from everyone, and only recently entrusted my identity to Lucien.

“I... did not know any of this”, she finally said. “Well, that the Falmer once were elves, but I did not know...” she looked up at me. “Oh, Talvanis, I’m so sorry.” I cocked my head. “For what?”

“For what happened to your people. Even if they killed everyone in Saarthal... no people deserves this kind of fate”, she looked down at the dead Jorane again. I nodded softly.

She had honestly not an idea that I was a Snow elf, believing I was some crossbreed of strange Altmer, as most people do.

We spent the entire day tunnelling deeper into Alftand, until our best guess put us at well past midnight, at which we tried to camp down and sleep, but found another Jorane nearby. It was another warrior, too powerful for my strongest Illusion spell, and we were forced to kill him.

Also during our excursion in Alftand, I was met with more of the wicked deeds of my defiled kin.

In one room, roughly halfway through the ruin, we found several victims, likely the lost adventurers (there was an old excavation site at the surface, I forgot to mention), among others.

They had been tortured, killed, maimed and dismembered. There were blood-covered bones, along with the fresh bodies. We know now that the Jorane kidnap people from the surface to feed to their Chaurus, but we do not know why they were doing this. It disturbed me to a deep level, and it made my efforts to save their lives feel rather strange.

In the end, well after midnight, we found Blackreach.

[talvanis-the-snow-elf]

11th of Sun’s Dusk - part 1

I have neglected writing for nearly a week, so this will be several pages worth of writing now...

On the 5th, we headed out to Ruunvald, as it was in the south of the Velothi mountains and not hard to find.

It was one of the stranger experiences I have had in Skyrim. The place was being excavated by the Vigilants of Stendarr, who attacked us on sight. I saw immediately that something was wrong, as a red haze surrounded their faces. I cast Pacify on as many as I could, so we could avoid killing them, as they were clearly not themselves.

Reading the journal of one of the men working there, it became more and more strange as the days had passed for the excavation.

The text devolved into rambling about "Minorne", until it was the only word he could write. In the end, in the depths of Ruunvald, we found a large hall where Minorne - a powerful Altmer mage - had enslaved all the Vigilants to her will, and she held Florentius captive in a cage. Why, I do not know. When we killed her, all the Vigilants died instantly.

So much for my effort not to kill them.

Florentius was indeed... bizarre. He constantly speaks to his god, Arkay, as if he is just behind his shoulder. I have never seen anything like it before. (And I might admit I am quite envious, if it is real.)

On the morning of the 6th, we made a brief stop in Windhelm, where I sought out the Aretino child. I headed for the quarters where most of the city's residents live, and quickly found a Dunmer woman and Nord boy - she seemed to be the boy's caretaker - arguing about Aventus Aretino. As they revealed his location, I waited until they had left, then entered.

Inside, the house seemed abandoned, except for the dirt and food revealing that someone did indeed live there. And the voice - a child doing some kind of ritual, begging over and over again for Grelod to die.

It was one of the most bizarre things I have seen since arriving in Skyrim. I turned the corner upstairs, and stepped into the ghastly sight of a skeleton and various body parts strewn across the floor, surrounded by candles, and this boy repeating his mantra while stabbing the floor desperately.

Upon entering the room, he noticed me, and before I could say anything, he loudly celebrated the arrival of the Dark Brotherhood assassin, come to kill Grelod.

I suppose being around ten years old means he did not know exactly how assassins from the Dark Brotherhood dress - although I have to wonder how he learned this ritual, let alone collected all these... things - but I have met many such assassins in my few months here, and they dress nothing like me.

In any case, I protested, trying to explain that I was not who he thought I was, and he plainly ignored me, insisting I had answered his call.

He begged, pleaded with me to kill this old woman, explaining he had been sent to the orphanage after the death of his mother, and that Grelod 'the Kind', "doesn't deserve to live another moment". I had already seen her, what she did to those children, and I did find it hard to reject the boy's wishes. I am not a murderer, I avoid killing even bandits going after me if I can.

But if there is one thing I despise more than any other, it is people who abuse those weaker than them, such as children. I may have to make an exception for this woman.