taitropa
taitropa
GRAVITY,
160 posts
it bows only to me.
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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The waves have become a comforting lull when once they might have unsettled her. Indeed this rocking ship too often reminded her, a fledgling captain some years ago, that once she was thieved away from home and kept in the belly of a hull not unlike the Wraithā€™s now. So she understands, you see, when the women and children stowed belowdeck grow sick and uncomfortable at being kept in the bowels of the boat. ā€œOnly for now,ā€ promises the Captain because theyā€™ve no wish to witness the punishment bestowed upon their captors. Or, if they do, Inej has no desire to allow them the opportunity. No blood on them like blood on her.
Above sea level, the sun warms her blisteringly so. In the early days, she insisted on hunting at night because old habits die hard and she was forged in the shadows. But these days she is renowned enough that it matters not when she tails the slavers so long as she catches them. And catches them she does.
Specht is in a good mood, humored and smug at a job well done. Her crew too is pleased and merry at the prospect of retribution. Inejā€™s First Mate is one of less than a handful of men aboard, an intentional decision in the hiring process. Each member of her crew has a personal stake in Inejā€™s mission or else believe in such nonsense as the deification of a lost Suli girl. Either suits her just fine so long as theyā€™re loyal. Specht readies his pistol but he waits dutifully for Inejā€™s command.
A bird roosts among her captives. Fury plants an ugly seed in her belly. Worseā€” a sick sort of pleasure festers alongside it. More than anything Inej is at once annoyed.
The crew settles into quiet murmurs full of anticipation as Inej stalks slowly down her line of prisoners. When she reaches the one who weeps shamelessly, she pauses long enough to meet his eye. He ducks his head. Coward. ā€œA gullā€™s feast at dusk,ā€ she proclaims, receiving a roar of agreement from the crew. They fall all at once silent when she steps before a kneeling Dirtyhands.
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Kaz Brekker has the nerve to smile at her. Inej bites her tongue so she wonā€™t stick a knife in his eye. Her fingers twitch at her sides and Kaz grins wider like he knows. He probably does. ā€œCaptain?ā€ Specht inquires, interrupting her plot to kill the King of the Barrel. The crew looks on in baited earnest. ā€œThe brig for this one,ā€ Inej says. When Kazā€™s smirk deepens, she adds with a sharp leer of her own, ā€œIā€™ll hold onto his cane for him.ā€
ā€” @ensorscell as Captain Inej Ghafa šŸ–¤
KazĀ  BrekkerĀ  isĀ  boundĀ  andĀ  keptĀ  toĀ  hisĀ  kneesĀ  onĀ  theĀ  mainĀ  deckĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  WraithĀ  alongsideĀ  fiveĀ  otherĀ  men,Ā  Ā  oneĀ  ofĀ  whichĀ  doesĀ  notĀ  stopĀ  weeping.Ā  Ā  Loudly.Ā  Ā  TheĀ  QuartermasterĀ  jabsĀ  theĀ  snotĀ  -Ā  nosedĀ  pigeonĀ  withĀ  theĀ  toeĀ  ofĀ  aĀ  seaĀ  -Ā  stiffenedĀ  bootĀ  accompanied byĀ  aĀ  laughĀ  thatĀ  boomsĀ  louderĀ  thanĀ  anyĀ  cannonĀ  couldĀ  boastĀ  andĀ  theĀ  crewĀ  surroundingĀ  theirĀ  captivesĀ  asĀ  audienceĀ  cacklesĀ  alongĀ  withĀ  him.Ā  Ā  Itā€™dĀ  beenĀ  aĀ  rowdyĀ  haulĀ  offĀ  theĀ  currentlyĀ  sinkingĀ  shipĀ  onĀ  theĀ  starboardĀ  sideĀ  andĀ  ifĀ  thisĀ  displayĀ  isĀ  anythingĀ  toĀ  goĀ  by,Ā  Ā  theĀ  headacheĀ  pinchingĀ  behindĀ  Kazā€™sĀ  rightĀ  eyeĀ  willĀ  notĀ  subsideĀ  anyĀ  timeĀ  soonĀ  either.
YetĀ  justĀ  asĀ  soonĀ  asĀ  heĀ  gritsĀ  hisĀ  teethĀ  againstĀ  theĀ  resignation, and the pain in his right leg,Ā  Ā  aĀ  hushĀ  befallsĀ  theĀ  crowd.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  feelsĀ  herĀ  beforeĀ  heĀ  hearsĀ  her;Ā  Ā  theĀ  waterĀ  suddenlyĀ  rocksĀ  theĀ  shipĀ  steadilyĀ  inĀ  spiteĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  disruptionĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  capsizingĀ  vesselĀ  alongsideĀ  itsĀ  hullĀ  andĀ  everyĀ  wickedĀ  grinĀ  onĀ  theĀ  piratesā€™Ā  facesĀ  goesĀ  justĀ  asĀ  tideĀ  -Ā  wrenched.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  knowsĀ  sheĀ  resurfacesĀ  fromĀ  belowĀ  deckĀ  whereĀ  theĀ  stowawaysĀ  sheā€™dĀ  pilferedĀ  fromĀ  theĀ  slaverĀ  shipĀ  areĀ  nowĀ  safelyĀ  tuckedĀ  away,Ā  Ā  butĀ  heĀ  doesnā€™tĀ  liftĀ  hisĀ  head yet.
āĀ  Ā  Please,Ā  Ā  āžĀ  wailsĀ  theĀ  foolĀ  twoĀ  bodiesĀ  down.Ā  Ā  InĀ  theirĀ  peripheral,Ā  Ā  KazĀ  seesĀ  himĀ  scootĀ  forwardĀ  onĀ  hisĀ  kneesĀ  withĀ  hisĀ  handsĀ  liftedĀ  inĀ  supplication.Ā  Ā  DoubtlessĀ  theĀ  childrenĀ  hiddenĀ  beneathĀ  theseĀ  woodenĀ  planksĀ  hadĀ  doneĀ  theĀ  veryĀ  sameĀ  whenĀ  InejĀ  hadĀ  takenĀ  themĀ  fromĀ  theĀ  bellyĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  firstĀ  ship;Ā  Ā  itā€™sĀ  tooĀ  badĀ  thisĀ  spinelessĀ  birdĀ  hadnā€™tĀ  theĀ  foresightĀ  toĀ  heedĀ  theĀ  warningsĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  divinityĀ  inĀ  theĀ  firstĀ  place.
SpechtĀ  drawsĀ  aĀ  pistolĀ  fromĀ  hisĀ  hipĀ  andĀ  cocksĀ  it in warning.Ā  Ā  TheĀ  loudĀ  clickĀ  startlesĀ  theĀ  cryingĀ  manĀ  intoĀ  near - silence,Ā  Ā  thoughĀ  heĀ  continuesĀ  toĀ  whimper.Ā  Ā  The Quartermaster shows as much mercy as is allowed. That is to say, none. āĀ  Ā  Whatā€™llĀ  itĀ  be,Ā  Ā  Captain?Ā  Ā  āž
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Now,Ā  Ā  finally,Ā  Ā  KazĀ  liftsĀ  theirĀ  head.Ā  Ā  InejĀ  wearsĀ  darkĀ  bootsĀ  toĀ  theĀ  knee,Ā  Ā  fittedĀ  trousersĀ  theĀ  colorĀ  ofĀ  harbourĀ  water,Ā  Ā  andĀ  anĀ  algaeĀ  -Ā  greenĀ  blouseĀ  thatĀ  flowsĀ  looselyĀ  aroundĀ  herĀ  arms.Ā  Ā  StrappedĀ  toĀ  herĀ  hips,Ā  Ā  thighs,Ā  Ā  everyĀ  otherĀ  slotĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  ribcage,Ā  Ā  andĀ  inĀ  placeĀ  ofĀ  aĀ  plumeĀ  ofĀ  feathersĀ  inĀ  herĀ  tricornĀ  hatĀ  areĀ  familiarĀ  knivesĀ  winkingĀ  inĀ  theĀ  blindingĀ  sunlight.Ā  Ā  WhenĀ  heĀ  seeksĀ  theĀ  warmĀ  planesĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  face,Ā  Ā  heĀ  findsĀ  herĀ  alreadyĀ  lookingĀ  atĀ  him.Ā  Ā  TheĀ  coldĀ  furyĀ  limningĀ  herĀ  darkĀ  lashesĀ  sendsĀ  aĀ  joltĀ  ofĀ  fireĀ  straightĀ  toĀ  theĀ  seatĀ  ofĀ  hisĀ  spine.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  canā€™tĀ  evenĀ  helpĀ  himself;Ā  Ā  heĀ  grinsĀ  atĀ  her.
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Inejā€™s trauma healing is NOT linear and is NOT fixed by true love yada yada yada. She canā€™t share a bed with Kaz for nearly a year and even then she needs a pillow barrier between them and she canā€™t sleep through a whole night. She needs to sleep on the outside edge so she can roll off the bed and get space faster and easier. Sheā€™s a very light sleeper and any change in even her partnerā€™s breathing can wake her up, send her into panic. Of course itā€™s slow going. And thatā€™s not even considering Kazā€™s side of the equation.
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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šŸ¦ā€ā¬› š“š‘š„šš‚š‡, šš™šš. šŸø ā€” quotes taken from the album of the same name by twenty one pilots. some edits have been made to allow for rp purposes. feel free to adjust for pronouns/names/etc. [ part 1 here! ]
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ā Sometimes I feel cold. Even paralyzed. āž
ā Nice to know my kind will be on my side. āž
ā I don't believe the hype. āž
ā You know you're a terrible sight. āž
ā You'll be alright. āž
ā Don't believe the hype. āž
ā They might be talking behind your head. āž
ā You don't get thick skin without getting burnt. āž
ā I think we can do it. āž
ā I don't know which way I'm going. āž
ā They want to make you forget. āž
ā Save your razorblades now. āž
ā I'm higher when I'm heavy. āž
ā We'll find a way to pay for it. āž
ā We'll win, but not everyone will get out. āž
ā I'll keep on trying. āž
ā I'll keep on going back. āž
ā I'm still not sure if fear's a rival or close relative to truth. āž
ā I created this world to feel some control. āž
ā I want to stop time. āž
ā I'll sit here 'til I find the problem. āž
ā I'm done with tip-toeing. āž
ā You're a legend. āž
ā I'm sorry I did not visit. āž
ā I'm tired of tending to this fire. āž
ā I'm tired. āž
ā They know that it's almost over. āž
ā In time, I will leave the city. āž
ā For now, I will stay alive. āž
ā Last year I needed change of pace. āž
ā Couldn't take the pace of change. āž
ā They know what I mean. āž
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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AMITA SUMAN as INEJ GHAFA Shadow and Bone, ā€˜No Shelter But Meā€™.
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Would Kaz peel an orange for Inej?
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kaz would tear out every single apple tree in the rietveld orchard and fill the soil with orange seeds. she would have an orange every morning if she wanted and he'd pick off all that nasty stringy shit from each slice too. if inej wants an orange, she's getting a whole fucking tree @taitropa
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Kaz and Inej
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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What unease Kaz had hoped to inspire in Sanjana would have extinguished at his display but the girl had already been unafraid. She watches those trickster hands with rapt focus, like she hopes to replicate the moves just as soon as she can get her hands on her own deck of cards. Sanjana will have to wait some months before the caravan stops anywhere near a market which will have goods such as that. They make a habit of keeping clear of the shores unless necessity dictates the trouble. Too many merchants harbor ill will toward those whom they call interlopers. A softer name than some of the others they would lob at their traveling group.
ā€œYou are a jadugara,ā€ whispers Sanjana in awe. Sheā€™s edged a few shuffles closer and Inej has stood once more to stand with her. Kaz doesnā€™t flinch at the nearing proximity yet or Inej's second departure but the Wraithā€™s captain eyes him with knowing suspicion. Sanjana notices nothing except Kazā€™s shifting fingers. ā€œDidi, tell him he must teach me.ā€
Inej breathes a laugh, the sort that only an audacious child can pull from you. ā€œI will do no such thing.ā€
ā€œMister Brekker,ā€ Sanjana says, undeterred. He is reshuffling his deck, but keeping the cardsā€™ faces to himself. Inej rolls her eyes. The action draws their attention, though she knows that never truly deserts her, and she watches as Kazā€™s lashes fan out over the hollows beneath his own eyes when he squints at her. Then he pins Sanjana with that hyperfocused regard. Lesser men have cowered beneath such a look. Sanjana simply smiles. ā€œYou must teach me how you did such a thing.ā€
Sanjanaā€™s English is clipped and dragged through its syllables, a clearly slow going education. Kaz makes no move to show any emotion at the language switch, neither surprise or distaste showing in their face. Inej stands at Sanjanaā€™s back like she is ready to defend her from a single snide remark. He doesnā€™t show his cards regarding that either.
ā€œSanjana,ā€ scolds Inej, pinching the girlā€™s tricep between her thumb and the knuckle of her index finger. The girl makes a sharp noise of protest but Inej does not release her. In Nepali, she continues to admonish, ā€œYou are foolish and rude. Return to your mother before you get yourself in trouble. I will not save you if you cross yourself with the likes of Kaz.ā€ It is an empty threat but Sanjana need not know that.
KazĀ  doesĀ  notĀ  loosenĀ  theĀ  strainĀ  ofĀ  theirĀ  illĀ  -Ā  easeĀ  atĀ  theĀ  girlā€™sĀ  arrival.Ā  Ā  HerĀ  stampedeĀ  throughĀ  theĀ  grassĀ  wasĀ  littleĀ  moreĀ  thanĀ  comedic,Ā  Ā  hardlyĀ  aĀ  spyĀ  wouldĀ  sheĀ  make,Ā  Ā  butĀ  KazĀ  hasĀ  theĀ  misfortuneĀ  ofĀ  beingĀ  onĀ  unevenĀ  groundĀ  lessĀ  thanĀ  familiarĀ  toĀ  himĀ  here.Ā  Ā  TrueĀ  thatĀ  heĀ  knowsĀ  wellĀ  enoughĀ  theĀ  companyĀ  heĀ  keepsĀ  andĀ  truerĀ  stillĀ  thatĀ  heĀ  basksĀ  inĀ  theirĀ  disquietudeĀ  atĀ  hisĀ  presence,Ā  Ā  butĀ  heĀ  hasĀ  soĀ  littleĀ  control.Ā  Ā  HeĀ  holdsĀ  littleĀ  waterĀ  inĀ  aĀ  spaceĀ  notĀ  meantĀ  forĀ  hisĀ  shape;Ā  Ā  theyĀ  knowĀ  howĀ  toĀ  forceĀ  aĀ  mold,Ā  Ā  butĀ  thisĀ  oneĀ  activelyĀ  revoltsĀ  againstĀ  themĀ  thoughĀ  truthfullyĀ  heĀ  wantsĀ  littleĀ  toĀ  doĀ  withĀ  it.
SanjanaĀ  regardsĀ  himĀ  withĀ  eyesĀ  tooĀ  largeĀ  forĀ  herĀ  face.Ā  Ā  TwelveĀ  sheĀ  mayĀ  be,Ā  Ā  butĀ  sheĀ  hasĀ  roomĀ  yetĀ  toĀ  grow.Ā  Ā  Sheā€™sĀ  youngĀ  enoughĀ  stillĀ  notĀ  toĀ  understandĀ  whatĀ  sheĀ  regardsĀ  withĀ  naiveĀ  curiosityĀ  isĀ  somethingĀ  sheĀ  oughtĀ  toĀ  fear.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  doesĀ  theirĀ  bestĀ  notĀ  toĀ  encourageĀ  her.Ā  Ā  BarrelĀ  ratsĀ  freshĀ  toĀ  theĀ  canalsĀ  learnĀ  quicklyĀ  whoĀ  toĀ  avoidĀ  andĀ  withĀ  whomĀ  toĀ  ally,Ā  Ā  andĀ  soĀ  oftenĀ  KazĀ  isĀ  bothĀ  dependingĀ  onĀ  theĀ  dayĀ  andĀ  dependingĀ  onĀ  theĀ  rat.Ā  Ā  SanjanaĀ  hasĀ  alreadyĀ  provedĀ  herĀ  uselessnessĀ  toĀ  him.
TheĀ  girlsā€™Ā  wordsĀ  blurĀ  together,Ā  Ā  aĀ  streamĀ  ofĀ  warmthĀ  passedĀ  betweenĀ  themĀ  thatĀ  heĀ  canĀ  hardlyĀ  keepĀ  upĀ  with.Ā  Ā  SnatchesĀ  ofĀ  wordsĀ  register,Ā  Ā  butĀ  theyĀ  speakĀ  tooĀ  quickly.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  takesĀ  stockĀ  ofĀ  Inejā€™sĀ  posture,Ā  Ā  theĀ  wayĀ  sheĀ  embracesĀ  theĀ  girlĀ  withĀ  familiarity,Ā  Ā  andĀ  theĀ  familialĀ  wayĀ  theyĀ  exchangeĀ  whatĀ  areĀ  clearlyĀ  teasingĀ  jabs.Ā  Ā  NoneĀ  ofĀ  itĀ  speaksĀ  ofĀ  aĀ  threat,Ā  Ā  whichĀ  isĀ  notableĀ  givenĀ  Inejā€™sĀ  ownĀ  discomfortĀ  everyĀ  timeĀ  theyĀ  visit;Ā  Ā  thisĀ  littleĀ  easesĀ  himĀ  though.Ā  Ā  HeĀ  isĀ  reluctantĀ  toĀ  releaseĀ  hisĀ  defenseĀ  ofĀ  her.
TheyĀ  clockĀ  oneĀ  wordĀ  withĀ  certainty.Ā  Ā  āĀ  Ā  Jadugara,Ā  Ā  āžĀ  KazĀ  repeatsĀ  clumsily.Ā  Ā  Magician.
Sanjanaā€™sĀ  eyesĀ  brightenĀ  andĀ  sheĀ  saysĀ  somethingĀ  elseĀ  to him inĀ  rapidĀ  Nepali,Ā  Ā  aĀ  questionĀ  thatĀ  heĀ  cannotĀ  wrapĀ  hisĀ  handsĀ  aroundĀ  andĀ  makeĀ  senseĀ  ofĀ  quickĀ  enough.Ā  Ā  HeĀ  andĀ  InejĀ  lockĀ  eyes;Ā  Ā  withĀ  mirthĀ  swimmingĀ  inĀ  hers,Ā  Ā  sheĀ  supplies,Ā  Ā  āĀ  Ā  SheĀ  wantsĀ  youĀ  toĀ  proveĀ  it.Ā  Ā  āž
KazĀ  straightens,Ā  Ā  theĀ  leatherĀ  ofĀ  theirĀ  glovesĀ  squeakingĀ  whenĀ  theyĀ  tightenĀ  theirĀ  gripĀ  aroundĀ  theĀ  headĀ  ofĀ  theirĀ  cane.Ā  Ā  SanjanaĀ  hasĀ  disentangledĀ  herselfĀ  fromĀ  Inej,Ā  Ā  whoĀ  takesĀ  herĀ  seatĀ  atĀ  hisĀ  sideĀ  onceĀ  more,Ā  Ā  butĀ  theĀ  girlĀ  keepsĀ  herĀ  distanceĀ  onĀ  herĀ  sideĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  fire.Ā  Ā  Still,Ā  Ā  thoseĀ  moonĀ  eyesĀ  haveĀ  nowhereĀ  certainĀ  toĀ  focusĀ  asĀ  theyĀ  flitĀ  excitedlyĀ  fromĀ  hisĀ  handsĀ  toĀ  hisĀ  faceĀ  andĀ  back.
ByĀ  nowĀ  heā€™dĀ  haveĀ  beenĀ  wellĀ  onĀ  hisĀ  wayĀ  withĀ  theĀ  girlĀ  probablyĀ  tossedĀ  intoĀ  aĀ  canal.Ā  Ā  Instead,Ā  Ā  here, KazĀ  merelyĀ  narrowsĀ  hisĀ  eyesĀ  beforeĀ  retrievingĀ  fromĀ  aĀ  pocketĀ  hiddenĀ  withinĀ  hisĀ  coatĀ  aĀ  deckĀ  ofĀ  cards.Ā  Ā  TheyĀ  shuffleĀ  lazily,Ā  Ā  theĀ  soundĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  paperĀ  loudĀ  evenĀ  overĀ  theĀ  cracklingĀ  wood,Ā  Ā  andĀ  thenĀ  fanĀ  outĀ  theĀ  deckĀ  soĀ  thatĀ  theĀ  filigreeĀ  backingĀ  isĀ  faceĀ  up.Ā  Ā  WithĀ  aĀ  singleĀ  flickĀ  ofĀ  hisĀ  wrist,Ā  Ā  allĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  cardsĀ  suddenlyĀ  sitĀ  withĀ  theirĀ  suitsĀ  onĀ  display.Ā  Ā  Sanjanaā€™sĀ  sharpĀ  inhaleĀ  inĀ  shockĀ  motivatesĀ  Kaz further.Ā  Ā  WhenĀ  heĀ  reshufflesĀ  thisĀ  time,Ā  Ā  heĀ  drawsĀ  aĀ  singleĀ  cardĀ  toĀ  theĀ  topĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  stack,Ā  Ā  bendsĀ  theĀ  wholeĀ  deckĀ  inverselyĀ  betweenĀ  hisĀ  thumbĀ  andĀ  forefinger,Ā  Ā  andĀ  thenĀ  snapsĀ  theĀ  deckĀ  flatĀ  onceĀ  moreĀ  revealingĀ  anĀ  entirelyĀ  newĀ  suit.Ā  Ā  TheĀ  aceĀ  ofĀ  knivesĀ  glimmersĀ  inĀ  theĀ  firelightĀ  whereĀ  beforeĀ  theĀ  queenĀ  ofĀ  crowsĀ  wasĀ  displayed.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  quirksĀ  aĀ  browĀ  inĀ  challengeĀ  toĀ  Sanjana,Ā  Ā  butĀ  theĀ  makingsĀ  ofĀ  aĀ  smirkĀ  playsĀ  aroundĀ  theĀ  edgeĀ  ofĀ  theirĀ  mouth.
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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šŸ¦ā€ā¬› šƒšˆš•šˆšš„ š‘šˆš•š€š‹š’ ā€”quotes taken from the first novel in rebecca ross' letters of enchantment duology. some edits have been made to allow for rp purposes. feel free to adjust for pronouns/names/etc.
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ā It takes courage to let down your armor, to welcome people to see you as you are. āž
ā I canā€™t risk having people behold me as I truly am. āž
ā You will miss so much by being so guarded. āž
ā I don't think you realize how strong you are. āž
ā Sometimes strength isn't swords and steel and fire, as we are so often made to believe. Sometimes it's found in quiet, gentle places. āž
ā I hope you will find your place, wherever you are. āž
ā I think we all wear armor. I think those who donā€™t are fools, risking the pain of being wounded by the sharp edges of the world, over and over again. āž
ā I am coming to love him, in two different ways. Face to face, and word to word. āž
ā I am destined to always be at war within myself. āž
ā Your grief will never fully fade; it will always be with you--a shadow you carry in your soul--but it will become fainter as your life becomes brighter. āž
ā You are not alone. āž
ā I never told you that I love you. And I regret that, most of all. āž
ā Thatā€™s it. Youā€™re doing great, ____. āž
ā I think there is a magical link between you and me. A bond that not even distance can break. āž
ā Itā€™s not a crime to feel joy, even when things seem hopeless. āž
ā ____, look at me. You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I intend to see that you have it. āž
ā I donā€™t want to wake up when Iā€™m seventy-four only to realize I havenā€™t lived. āž
ā Iā€™m not going anywhere, unless you tell me to leave, and even then, we might need to negotiate. āž
ā I realize that people are just people, and they carry their own set of fears, dreams, desires, pains, and mistakes. āž
ā I canā€™t expect someone else to make me feel complete; I must find it on my own. āž
ā I pray that my days will be long at your side. āž
ā Let me fill and satisfy every longing in your soul. May your hand be in mine, by sun and by night. āž
ā Let our breaths twine and our blood become one, until our bones return to dust. Even then, may I find your soul still sworn to mine. āž
ā Iā€™m not afraid to be alone, but Iā€™m tired of being the one left behind. āž
ā I broke my engagement, quit my job, and traveled six hundred kilometers into war-torn land to be with you. āž
ā And yet I keep moving forward. On some days, Iā€™m afraid, but most days, I simply want to achieve those things I dream of. āž
ā Let us make our names exactly what we want them to be. āž
ā How do you make your life your own and not feel guilt over it? āž
ā I am so afraid. And yet how I long to be vulnerable and brave when it comes to my own heart. āž
ā I grew something living in a season of death. āž
ā I donā€™t think you can even begin to understand what your words mean to me. āž
ā I want your hand to be in mine, no matter what comes. āž
ā Youā€™re distracting me, ____. āž
ā Endings were often found in beginnings. āž
ā By law, weā€™re both legal adults who can drink and be formally charged for murder. āž
ā Be safe. Be well. Iā€™ll write soon. āž
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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The cold festers deeper than the bones. For broken bones not properly healed it is an agonizing affliction with an infection radius as large as this country property. Inej had determined Kazā€™s poor mood as soon as sheā€™d woken up and found his side of the bed long gone vacant. Itā€™s impossible to get in the way of his morning ritual, but she usually has good luck delaying his walk to thieve a few extra hours of his warmth. But if heā€™s out of bed this early, heā€™s seen fit to make himself more miserable. Sheā€™s glad he doesnā€™t make the attempt up the stairs. For the sake of his leg and the bruise of his mood escalating if Nirmala were witness to it.
Her daughter bats her big cow eyes up at her mother and even upside down Inej is sure sheā€™s never seen a better intimidation tactic. She simply wants a story, but Inej knows better than to underestimate her. After all if sheā€™s asking her mother for a story rather than her father regardless of his mood, thatā€™s cause for suspicion. And Nirmala Rietveld hates when Inej braids her hair. What are you up to, Shevrati?
ā€œIt means wanting,ā€ Inej supplies. ā€œWanting something very much.ā€ Nirmalaā€™s hair is unruly even with the oil and Inej has to coax it into a single plait with painstaking patience. Every few strands requires that she pluck a twig or leaf from those Ghafa waves after the previous dayā€™s adventures. Her mother shakes her head fondly each time.
ā€œNow this girl on the shore was afraid but not so afraid that she dared not go. The fear did not outweigh the wanting. So she gathered her courage and swallowed that fear and off she went.ā€ At the nape of Nirmalaā€™s neck, Inej gathers the start of the braid in one hand and pokes her daughterā€™s shoulder until the girl looks back. ā€œWhat do you think she wanted?ā€
ā It began as all things did: a girl on the shore, terrified and desirous. āž for nirmala!
慤慤慤慤慤慤ā€” A STUDY IN DROWNING ( accepting! )
Itā€™sĀ  tooĀ  coldĀ  toĀ  lingerĀ  tooĀ  longĀ  outsideĀ  today.Ā  Ā  ThereĀ  isĀ  aĀ  southernĀ  windĀ  whichĀ  kicksĀ  upĀ  offĀ  theĀ  coastĀ  andĀ  bringsĀ  withĀ  itĀ  aĀ  chillĀ  thatĀ  seepsĀ  intoĀ  theĀ  bones.Ā  Ā  Itā€™sĀ  aĀ  badĀ  dayĀ  forĀ  Baba,Ā  Ā  whoĀ  keepsĀ  toĀ  theĀ  firstĀ  floorĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  houseĀ  afterĀ  heĀ  hasĀ  trekkedĀ  awkwardlyĀ  throughĀ  theĀ  fieldsĀ  andĀ  orchardĀ  despiteĀ  theĀ  frostĀ  -Ā  blanketedĀ  ground.Ā  Ā  NirmalaĀ  canĀ  hearĀ  theĀ  longĀ  dragĀ  ofĀ  hisĀ  gaitĀ  and the uneven thump of his cane evenĀ  fromĀ  upstairs;Ā  Ā  itā€™sĀ  slowerĀ  thanĀ  itĀ  usuallyĀ  isĀ  andĀ  thatĀ  means,Ā  Ā  @taitropaĀ  says,Ā  Ā  thatĀ  sheĀ  mustnā€™tĀ  pesterĀ  himĀ  tooĀ  much.
ThisĀ  isĀ  aĀ  horribleĀ  thingĀ  toĀ  Nirmala,Ā  Ā  whoĀ  prefersĀ  Babaā€™sĀ  storiesĀ  over anything else.Ā  Ā  MamaĀ  tellsĀ  storiesĀ  justĀ  fine;Ā  Ā  sheĀ  tellsĀ  storiesĀ  aboutĀ  shipsĀ  andĀ  saintsĀ  andĀ  sometimesĀ  sheĀ  tellsĀ  themĀ  inĀ  song,Ā  Ā  andĀ  NirmalaĀ  lovesĀ  Mamaā€™sĀ  voice.Ā  Ā  ButĀ  itā€™sĀ  BabaĀ  whoĀ  tellsĀ  storiesĀ  aboutĀ  girlsĀ  withĀ  knivesĀ  andĀ  boysĀ  withĀ  gunsĀ  andĀ  theĀ  dangerĀ  ofĀ  cityĀ  streetsĀ  rifeĀ  withĀ  mischief,Ā  Ā  whichĀ  are,Ā  Ā  ofĀ  course,Ā  Ā  farĀ  moreĀ  excitingĀ  tales. Especially because Mama hates that he tells them to Nirmala.
āĀ  Ā  Mama,Ā  Ā  āžĀ  interjectsĀ  Nirmala,Ā  Ā  whoĀ  sitsĀ  onĀ  theĀ  coldĀ  woodenĀ  floorĀ  withĀ  herĀ  legsĀ  crossedĀ  beneathĀ  her.Ā  Ā  MamaĀ  sitsĀ  behindĀ  herĀ  andĀ  rubsĀ  oilĀ  intoĀ  herĀ  scalpĀ  withĀ  callousedĀ  fingersĀ  madeĀ  roughĀ  fromĀ  saltwater.Ā  Ā  TheyĀ  areĀ  stillĀ  gentle;Ā  Ā  ifĀ  NirmalaĀ  closesĀ  herĀ  eyes,Ā  Ā  sheĀ  mightĀ  fallĀ  asleepĀ  andĀ  sheĀ  stillĀ  hasĀ  bribingĀ  toĀ  doĀ  today.Ā  Ā  Downstairs,Ā  Ā  BabaĀ  scoldsĀ  theĀ  dogĀ  forĀ  gettingĀ  underfoot,Ā  Ā  theĀ  sandedĀ  downĀ  qualityĀ  ofĀ  hisĀ  voiceĀ  muffledĀ  byĀ  theĀ  yowlingĀ  windĀ  outside.Ā  Ā  NirmalaĀ  tiltsĀ  herĀ  headĀ  backĀ  untilĀ  herĀ  neckĀ  hurtsĀ  andĀ  Mamaā€™sĀ  warmĀ  eyesĀ  comeĀ  intoĀ  view.Ā  Ā  āĀ  Ā  Whatā€™sĀ  desirous?Ā  Ā  āž
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Oh FUCK you @hebzucht
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Kaz had taught her to crack a safe, pick a pocket, wield a knife. Heā€™d gifted her with her first blade, the one she called Sankt Petyr - not as pretty as wild geraniums, but more practical, she supposed.
@kanejdailyā€˜s Kanej Week - Day 6: Favorite objects - Inejā€™s knives
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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The caravan is curious but not so curious that they are not wary. A dozen campfires ring the large grassy field they have deemed their resting home for the time they spend recuperating between travel. Families gather around the flames like they always do to unwind. The Ghafas have joined another group for the evening and Inej can only guess how relieved that makes Kaz. He sits stiffly beside her in front of their own little fire and stares pensively into it, less a scheming face than it is simply contemplative.
Before she can inquire, a flurry of movement and the sound of little feet stamping down the overgrown grass around them alerts Inej to a guest. Next to her, she feels the moment Kaz is aware of a visitor as well and sees from the corner of her eye when they reach for the cane theyā€™ve leant beside him on the felled log they both sit upon. Inej throws her arm out, warning him off, and stands just as the interloper throws themselves from the tall reeds across from the flames.
ā€œSancai hunuhuncha, didi?*ā€ The girl is tall enough that she reaches Inejā€™s collar when she flings herself into her arms. Her long hair is pulled back from her face in a braid as is custom for most girls in the caravan but for the baby hairs sticking with sweat against her crown. She smiles broadly and freely, her soft chin bony where it digs into Inejā€™s sternum in their embrace.
Inej says with a healthy dose of fond scolding in her voice, ā€œNamaste, Sanjana.ā€
ā€œDid I frighten you?ā€ Sanjana asks mischievously in Nepali. Her dark eyes flicker, though the fire is at the girlā€™s back, and Inej canā€™t help but smile warmly in return.
ā€œHow could you when you parade through the camp as an elephant three times your size?ā€
ā€œI frightened your sweetheart,ā€ Sanjana accuses triumphantly, but gives a cautious glance to Kaz who has yet to rise. Or release his cane as though he might use it against a girl hardly older than twelve. Sanjana has every reason to be wary of Kaz but Inej shakes her head.
ā€œIf he were truly frightened, you would not be here to gloat over false victories. Where is your mama? Does she know you have come to pester me?ā€
ā€œNot you,ā€ says Sanjana. She has not looked away from Kaz, who Inej is sure has also not looked away from her if only out of suspicion, and Inej can see now that it isnā€™t caution in her gaze at all but curiosity. ā€œIs he really a jadugara?ā€
@hebzucht hi
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Good morning. Inej always travels with a little plant to remind herself to always stay rooted somewhere because even though her family travels for performances a bird must always roost somewhere. Itā€™s usually an aconite flower from her homeland!
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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That warning in the near distance doesnā€™t frighten Inej. There are enough shadows back here that she even goes so far as to pull the scarf from her face, revealing the lower two-thirds of her features to her company both alive and dead. The ones on the ground at least wonā€™t give her up. Inej is an easy step around any pooling blood with all the lightness of a grain of sand, not a single step audible though there are enough damp pockets of questionable liquid to splash through. The Wraith has a care for leaving evidence behind even if GCPD wonā€™t be able to trace her prints.
ā€œNo,ā€ Inej agrees with her own flicker of amusement. ā€œNo, I donā€™t. Iā€™m not.ā€ Saves her the trouble of a fight later on. Nix dismisses Inejā€™s concern without an answer although a closer inspection with the safe distance of a couple bodies between them soothes her further. Not that there was any doubt that Nix could handle herself. The remains on the ground are proof enough of that.
Inej skirts her preyā€™s prone form with a more critical gaze now. From a shallow analysis, she doesnā€™t recognize him. Whatever information he carries, it isnā€™t anything Inej has had to collect. But she squats to check his pockets with the dexterity of a neurosurgeon, hardly there at all but for the thieving of a wallet. Itā€™s a stupid mistake to have anything on hand. Or an intentional one, if the cards within are anything to go by. The New Jersey driverā€™s license is for a John Doe but the identifying image shoots ice along her nerves. Inej alights on the dead manā€™s face once more and then stands to put distance between them as if he could reanimate and snatch at her again.
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She doesnā€™t bother getting a look at the eyeless assailant nearest Nix. Something tells her that sheā€™d fare better placing his face than the one she'd felled and she isnā€™t keen on quizzing herself. Nauseaā€™s already rolling through her gut and keeping her face ashen. ā€œTheyā€™re security for the Menagerie.ā€ A gentlemanā€™s club uptown that she is all too familiar with. Inej fixes her scarf back around her mouth and nose and casts her eyes skyward to gauge the climb up the nearest wall. ā€œIā€™m sure if weā€™d asked them, theyā€™d have been sent looking for a Lynx. I donā€™t know if more will come. My contract with Heleen was bought out butā€¦ā€ Fear creeps into her cadence and steals whateverā€™s left of her words. Sheā€™s still debating an escape route.
Habit bends her at the knees over Assailant Number One, the toes of her boots kiss the expanding sanguinary pool emanating from his fractured skull. While Inej appears every bit the surgical killer, Nix has most recently noted that the hilt of her bowie knife, carved from ivory to resemble the perched form of a barn owl, fits a little too perfectly into most eye-sockets. The blade holds little blood, but the knife's ivory hilt is a grisly sight. Any viscous remnants beneath her long, acrylic nails are picked at using Number One's shirt. Number Two, a few paces away and having been abandoned by Inej, will likely draw her attention soon after.
Gotham seldom leaves one lonely. Sirens wail in the not-so-far distance, those screams ricocheting around the endless labyrinth of concrete and brick they loiter at the centre of. Nix knows the flashing lights and sirens are not meant for them. The city's drowned by far too many despicable acts for she and her company right now to be of any concern. Any witness has scattered, or hidden themselves well enough that even Skizm's Killer Queen doesn't care to hunt them down.Ā 
She sifts a roll of notes from Number One's pocket with the nonchalance of one of her children picking flowers to gift their father in the backyard. Nix observes the wad of cash she doesn't necessarily need, ere tucking it snug in her bra. As she moves to stand, the worn tail of her trench slithers through blood and puddled rainwater. It's likely to douse the scene in no time if the clouds crowning Inej from above are anything to go by. She appears as the shadows do, like a wisp soon to evanesce with the same grace Nix'll never have. She remains the antithesis, as much a stain on the scene of the grisly remains forking as rivers do on the concrete.
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" I'm not really a... " Her brows lift, blowing her eyes impossibly large while she sheathes her knife alongside Kindness strapped to her thigh. " Run-to-the-safehouse-kinda-girly, y'know...? " A subtle tilt of her mouth alludes to humour at the mere notion, that flash of her canines snares the minimal light. " You don't kill like a safehouse-kinda-girly. " Inej's handywork lingers in their shared periphery. Nix admires it without turning her head, and runs fingers through her hair to snatch at any inevitable tangles. " These fuckers... " Judgement burgeons her downturned pout for only a moment, then she flashes her company an ill-suited smile. " They for you or your boyfriend? They're not for me. "
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Trading barbs with @hebzucht is always a foolā€™s errand because as much as you could try to wound him, his blade is always sharper. Inej can feel its cutting edge against her skin and he might as well have her pinned to the wall with all her insides exposed to him. They know exactly where to hurt her, vulnerable as sheā€™s always been to them.
ā€œYou twist my words on purpose for your own agenda but does it truly make you feel better, Kaz?ā€ She sounds as exasperated as she feels and she looks it too. Inej curls her fingers around the newspaper, effectively and swiftly crumbling it and obscuring the taunting headline. It doesnā€™t help her though because she canā€™t stop thinking about the corpse in the street and what his eyes looked like only the night before when theyā€™d caught hers across the room.
The faces from her past blur together until she is faced with them all over again. All of the monsterā€™s features are recrystallized in her memory. She doesnā€™t need to reach far to remember what it feels like to be grabbed or pinned or silenced or hurt because itā€™s right there on the surface. It feels like floating outside of her body. Shutting out of herself so she doesnā€™t have to feel it.
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ā€œBut thatā€™s not what you were doing. What you did last night was not for me. It was for you.ā€ Inej shoves the wad of sensationalized gore in print across his desk and leans further into his view. Kaz is pulling on armor quicker than they can really hide behind it. The anger in his eyes is too bright to dull before he can tuck it away from her. ā€œWhat will you do, Kaz? Go door to door in this city asking who fucked your Wraith so you can skin them for all to see? That isnā€™t what I want. I havenā€™t asked you for vengeance.ā€ Inej rights herself and takes a step away from him. Then another and another until she has the desk between them. ā€œSometimes I will see ghosts from my past. But I do not need your protection from them. I cannot live my life depending on you for that.ā€
IfĀ  sheĀ  wantedĀ  toĀ  persuadeĀ  himĀ  toĀ  rollĀ  overĀ  forĀ  her,Ā  Ā  sheĀ  onlyĀ  fuelsĀ  hisĀ  ownĀ  brandĀ  ofĀ  selfĀ  protection.Ā  Ā  ThereĀ  isĀ  notĀ  aĀ  hintĀ  ofĀ  amusementĀ  inĀ  theĀ  slowĀ  slideĀ  ofĀ  forcedĀ  indifferenceĀ  likeĀ  aĀ  shutterĀ  overĀ  theĀ  blackĀ  ofĀ  hisĀ  eyes.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  sitsĀ  backĀ  inĀ  theirĀ  seatĀ  withĀ  theĀ  lookĀ  ofĀ  someoneĀ  balancingĀ  aĀ  dareĀ  onĀ  theirĀ  tongue,Ā  Ā  sharpĀ  asĀ  aĀ  bladeĀ  thatĀ  wouldĀ  woundĀ  ifĀ  accepted.Ā  Ā  TheyĀ  offerĀ  itĀ  withĀ  aĀ  voiceĀ  goneĀ  low,Ā  Ā  quiet,Ā  Ā  tooĀ  softĀ  toĀ  beĀ  anythingĀ  butĀ  dangerous.Ā  Ā  āĀ  Ā  IsĀ  thatĀ  whatĀ  youĀ  want,Ā  Ā  Inej?Ā  Ā  ToĀ  leave?Ā  Ā  IĀ  wouldĀ  certainly neverĀ  stopĀ  you.Ā  Ā  āž
MaybeĀ  sheĀ  doesnā€™tĀ  realizeĀ  justĀ  howĀ  heavyĀ  herĀ  threatĀ  hangsĀ  aroundĀ  hisĀ  neck,Ā  Ā  butĀ  heĀ  suspectsĀ  thatā€™sĀ  preciselyĀ  whyĀ  sheĀ  wieldedĀ  it.Ā  Ā  TheĀ  problemĀ  is,Ā  Ā  heĀ  wouldĀ  neverĀ  fightĀ  withĀ  herĀ  aboutĀ  that.Ā  Ā  HeĀ  gaveĀ  upĀ  everythingĀ  toĀ  hisĀ  nameĀ  soĀ  thatĀ  sheĀ  neverĀ  hadĀ  toĀ  stayĀ  tiedĀ  hereĀ  again;Ā  Ā  itā€™sĀ  insultingĀ  thatĀ  sheĀ  thinksĀ  toĀ  rubĀ  thatĀ  inĀ  hisĀ  faceĀ  now,Ā  Ā  butĀ  worseĀ  thanĀ  thatĀ  itĀ  fuckingĀ  hurts.Ā  Ā  Heā€™dĀ  ratherĀ  beĀ  guttedĀ  andĀ  shovedĀ  intoĀ  oneĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  canals,Ā  Ā  leftĀ  toĀ  rotĀ  inĀ  theĀ  pissĀ  andĀ  theĀ  wasteĀ  andĀ  theĀ  drownedĀ  deadĀ  vermin, than break her spirit with restraint.
ThatĀ  merchĀ  goneĀ  coldĀ  inĀ  theĀ  middleĀ  ofĀ  thatĀ  marketĀ  hadĀ  noĀ  timeĀ  toĀ  heedĀ  aĀ  messageĀ  orĀ  beĀ  warnedĀ  ofĀ  aĀ  threat.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  wasĀ  brutalĀ  andĀ  clearĀ  aboutĀ  hisĀ  motive,Ā  Ā  butĀ  neverĀ  hadĀ  anyĀ  intentionĀ  forĀ  lessonsĀ  learned.Ā  Ā  OneĀ  lookĀ  acrossĀ  aĀ  crowdedĀ  roomĀ  wasĀ  enoughĀ  toĀ  sendĀ  InejĀ  intoĀ  aĀ  nearĀ  catatonicĀ  stateĀ  andĀ  thatĀ  hadĀ  beenĀ  enoughĀ  reason forĀ  Kaz.Ā  Ā  InejĀ  canĀ  cutĀ  outĀ  theĀ  damageĀ  atĀ  theĀ  rootĀ  withĀ  herĀ  workĀ  huntingĀ  downĀ  ships,Ā  Ā  butĀ  KazĀ  willĀ  digĀ  theirĀ  fingersĀ  intoĀ  theĀ  fleshĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  poisonedĀ  fruitĀ  harmingĀ  herĀ  andĀ  destroyĀ  it.Ā  Ā  HeĀ  didĀ  destroyĀ  it,Ā  Ā  atĀ  leastĀ  thisĀ  time.Ā  Ā  Thereā€™sĀ  noĀ  accountingĀ  forĀ  theĀ  woundsĀ  alreadyĀ  inflictedĀ  allĀ  thoseĀ  yearsĀ  ago from men no longer here.
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āĀ  Ā  YouĀ  wantedĀ  meĀ  toĀ  dismantleĀ  theĀ  businessesĀ  here,Ā  Ā  āžĀ  KazĀ  remindsĀ  her.Ā  Ā  HisĀ  voiceĀ  isĀ  stillĀ  menacingly quietĀ  evenĀ  asĀ  itĀ  grinds.Ā  Ā  TheyĀ  havenā€™tĀ  brokenĀ  eyeĀ  contactĀ  yetĀ  either,Ā  Ā  thoughĀ  thereā€™sĀ  noĀ  tellingĀ  whoĀ  betweenĀ  theĀ  twoĀ  ofĀ  themĀ  isĀ  moreĀ  furiousĀ  withĀ  theĀ  otherĀ  now.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  curlsĀ  theirĀ  fingersĀ  intoĀ  theĀ  armsĀ  ofĀ  theirĀ  chairĀ  toĀ  quellĀ  theirĀ  risingĀ  temper.Ā  Ā  āĀ  Ā  IfĀ  theĀ  brothelsĀ  haveĀ  noĀ  clients,Ā  Ā  theyĀ  haveĀ  noĀ  money.Ā  Ā  IfĀ  theyĀ  haveĀ  noĀ  money,Ā  Ā  theyĀ  haveĀ  noĀ  business.Ā  Ā  IsĀ  yourĀ  recallĀ  slipping,Ā  Ā  Captain?Ā  Ā  IĀ  couldĀ  haveĀ  swornĀ  youĀ  mightĀ  haveĀ  pickedĀ  upĀ  thoseĀ  basicsĀ  duringĀ  yourĀ  timeĀ  inĀ  thisĀ  city,Ā  Ā  butĀ  perhapsĀ  piratingĀ  weansĀ  youĀ  ofĀ  thoseĀ  details.Ā  Ā  Good,Ā  Ā  then,Ā  Ā  thatĀ  youĀ  noĀ  longerĀ  retrieveĀ  informationĀ  forĀ  me.Ā  Ā  āž
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taitropa Ā· 1 year ago
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Balance comes natural as breathing and it takes nothing at all to settle. Itā€™s not so easy to quiet her racing heart. @hebzucht touches her so carefully and she knows itā€™s for his benefit as much as it is for hers but she thinks the world is so funny that Dirtyhands would be so gentle. Inej sits perpendicular to his thigh but angles her chin toward him even when he roots forward. That first brush of their nose has the opposite effect on her pulse as calming.
Inej nods once but voices, ā€œYes,ā€ to predate his own anxiety. His hand is heavy against her spine and then her hip and she closes her eyes too against the memory of harsher grips. Nastier fingers. Kaz Brekker is a greedy bastard but Inej reminds herself that he will not take what isnā€™t given when it comes to her. Even so she can feel the recoil start low in her belly and spring through her lungs until her breath catches. Biting the inside of her lower lip does not silence her shudder.
To combat their retreat and her own panic, Inej takes a chance on touching him back. Her arm closest to him hooks against his, that palm settling on his closest shoulder as a warning. Then slowly she slides her hand across the breadth of his back to his opposite side and then retreats once more to its starting position. He is stiff beneath her, a rigid and composed figure under her exploration, but itā€™s his shallow breath against her neck that reminds her that this is hard for him too.
ā€œYou said I could paint,ā€ she says quietly because she needs to talk to distract them both. But she also just wants to pull this from him too. And maybe some part of her hopes that he will share this with her just a little further if they make plans. ā€œWhat about green walls in here? To go with the stolen chair,ā€ she teases now that itā€™s almost as if he wanted this small piece of a friend present in their home. It's sweet with context.
Softly she slips her hand again across his back, only this time she detours at his spine and follows the path north to his collar. From there she pulls enough away to observe their face as her fingers skirt up their nape. That brush of skin is fleeting but poignant and Inej only lingers long enough to gauge his reaction. She doesnā€™t wait to reach her true destination, nails a light drag through the short hair at the back of their head. Itā€™s long enough she could get a little grip on it but she only runs her fingers through lightly.
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Itā€™s grounding and she realizes that what was panic fluttering in her belly now retreats to make room for warmth. Kaz hasnā€™t flinched away from her yet either. They share breath sitting so close to one another but Inej leans in to brush their noses together. She lifts her other hand to hook her finger on one of the buttons of their vest, pushing it and her nail through the buttonhole to keep another hold of him. ā€œThank you for the flat. I love it.ā€
TheĀ  newspaperĀ  liningĀ  theĀ  windowsĀ  onlyĀ  mufflesĀ  theĀ  downpourĀ  outsideĀ  byĀ  soĀ  much;Ā  Ā  whenĀ  theĀ  windsĀ  pickĀ  up,Ā  Ā  theĀ  glassĀ  rattles.Ā  Ā  HadĀ  theyĀ  beenĀ  inĀ  theĀ  SlatĀ  inĀ  thoseĀ  earlyĀ  daysĀ  allĀ  thoseĀ  yearsĀ  ago,Ā  Ā  byĀ  nowĀ  thereĀ  wouldĀ  beĀ  aĀ  leakĀ  somewhere.Ā  Ā  TheseĀ  days,Ā  Ā  theĀ  sortĀ  ofĀ  repairsĀ  neededĀ  thereĀ  areĀ  divinedĀ  byĀ  rambunctiousĀ  teenagersĀ  lootingĀ  theirĀ  ownĀ  homeĀ  andĀ  brawlingĀ  playfullyĀ  inĀ  theĀ  halls.Ā  Ā  ThisĀ  flatā€™sĀ  windowsĀ  areĀ  reinforcedĀ  andĀ  KazĀ  wonā€™tĀ  needĀ  toĀ  footĀ  theĀ  billĀ  toĀ  fixĀ  someĀ  glass.Ā  Ā  TheyĀ  canĀ  countĀ  onĀ  InejĀ  toĀ  beĀ  farĀ  moreĀ  gracefulĀ  breakingĀ  andĀ  entering,Ā  Ā  evenĀ  ifĀ  itĀ  isĀ  herĀ  ownĀ  space.
HerĀ  laughterĀ  cutsĀ  throughĀ  anyĀ  remainingĀ  chillĀ  inĀ  theĀ  air.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  feelsĀ  theĀ  quickĀ  peelĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  smileĀ  mirrorĀ  inĀ  hisĀ  ownĀ  featuresĀ  justĀ  asĀ  soonĀ  asĀ  sheĀ  throwsĀ  hisĀ  wordsĀ  backĀ  atĀ  him.Ā  Ā  DelightedĀ  asĀ  everĀ  byĀ  her,Ā  Ā  heĀ  foldsĀ  atĀ  theĀ  waistĀ  andĀ  encroachesĀ  onĀ  theĀ  airĀ  sheĀ  exhalesĀ  inĀ  herĀ  amusement.Ā  Ā  FromĀ  thisĀ  newĀ  angle,Ā  Ā  hisĀ  chinĀ  tipsĀ  upĀ  andĀ  theyĀ  areĀ  atĀ  oddsĀ  withĀ  oneĀ  anotherĀ  inĀ  aĀ  wayĀ  theyĀ  soĀ  oftenĀ  areĀ  withĀ  herĀ  aboveĀ  himĀ  onlyĀ  soĀ  muchĀ  closer.Ā  Ā  HeĀ  canĀ  touchĀ  herĀ  likeĀ  thisĀ  andĀ  soĀ  heĀ  does.
KazĀ  canĀ  measureĀ  theirĀ  storyĀ  byĀ  landmarksĀ  ofĀ  questionsĀ  andĀ  longĀ  stretchesĀ  ofĀ  companionshipĀ  shapedĀ  byĀ  need.Ā  Ā  EveryĀ  momentĀ  sharedĀ  hasĀ  alwaysĀ  feltĀ  soĀ  inexplicablyĀ  largeĀ  despiteĀ  existingĀ  soĀ  heavilyĀ  unspoken,Ā  Ā  andĀ  InejĀ  holdsĀ  aĀ  ringĀ  ofĀ  keysĀ  toĀ  piecesĀ  ofĀ  himĀ  thatĀ  heĀ  sworeĀ  onceĀ  heĀ  lockedĀ  awayĀ  andĀ  drownedĀ  whenĀ  heĀ  wasĀ  notĀ  yetĀ  aĀ  mythĀ  butĀ  stillĀ  onlyĀ  aĀ  boy.Ā  Ā  SheĀ  looksĀ  atĀ  himĀ  nowĀ  inĀ  theĀ  yellowĀ  -Ā  lightĀ  fromĀ  theĀ  hallĀ  andĀ  heĀ  swearsĀ  thatĀ  magicĀ  cracklesĀ  inĀ  theĀ  wetĀ  cornersĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  roomĀ  asĀ  ifĀ  sheĀ  hasĀ  willedĀ  theĀ  shadowsĀ  toĀ  bendĀ  forĀ  herĀ  onceĀ  more.Ā  Ā  SoĀ  tooĀ  doesĀ  sheĀ  fishĀ  outĀ  hisĀ  locksĀ  fromĀ  theĀ  sea.
BeforeĀ  heĀ  canĀ  retreatĀ  fromĀ  her,Ā  Ā  hisĀ  SaintĀ  regiftsĀ  himĀ  herĀ  touchĀ  andĀ  furtherĀ  closesĀ  theĀ  distanceĀ  betweenĀ  them.Ā  Ā  KazĀ  balksĀ  atĀ  herĀ  easyĀ  mercy.Ā  Ā  āĀ  Ā  Yes.Ā  Ā  āžĀ  BecauseĀ  whatĀ  elseĀ  isĀ  thereĀ  butĀ  hisĀ  simpleĀ  acquiescence?Ā  Ā  WhatĀ  elseĀ  isĀ  thereĀ  whenĀ  heĀ  wantsĀ  nothingĀ  else?Ā  Ā  SwallowingĀ  saltwater,Ā  Ā  theyĀ  reachĀ  bothĀ  handsĀ  forĀ  theĀ  bendĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  legs,Ā  Ā  bareĀ  fingersĀ  catchingĀ  inĀ  theĀ  creasesĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  dampĀ  trousersĀ  andĀ  shudderingĀ  atĀ  theĀ  texture.Ā  Ā  HisĀ  handsĀ  outĀ  -Ā  spanĀ  theĀ  jointĀ  thereĀ  andĀ  easilyĀ  foldĀ  intoĀ  theĀ  curveĀ  behindĀ  herĀ  knee,Ā  Ā  butĀ  heĀ  makesĀ  noĀ  furtherĀ  attemptĀ  toĀ  chartĀ  furtherĀ  thanĀ  theĀ  claimĀ  heā€™sĀ  madeĀ  ofĀ  justĀ  thisĀ  pieceĀ  ofĀ  her.
HeĀ  isĀ  levelĀ  withĀ  herĀ  bellyĀ  andĀ  leansĀ  backĀ  outĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  spaceĀ  toĀ  furtherĀ  encourageĀ  her.Ā  Ā  ItĀ  shouldĀ  beĀ  easyĀ  toĀ  digĀ  hisĀ  fingersĀ  aĀ  littleĀ  harderĀ  intoĀ  theĀ  meatĀ  ofĀ  her,Ā  Ā  seekĀ  outĀ  theĀ  thrumĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  pulseĀ  inĀ  herĀ  femoralĀ  artery,Ā  Ā  andĀ  sootheĀ  himself;Ā  Ā  butĀ  Kazā€™sĀ  touchĀ  isĀ  onlyĀ  firmĀ  enoughĀ  toĀ  steadyĀ  whatĀ  isĀ  usuallyĀ  alreadyĀ  sure.Ā  Ā  IfĀ  heĀ  focusesĀ  hardĀ  enough,Ā  Ā  heĀ  canĀ  spyĀ  herĀ  heartbeatĀ  inĀ  herĀ  throatĀ  fromĀ  thisĀ  angleĀ  anyway.
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InejĀ  clearsĀ  herĀ  intentionĀ  andĀ  KazĀ  relents,Ā  Ā  butĀ  togetherĀ  theyĀ  easeĀ  intoĀ  motion.Ā  Ā  WhenĀ  sheĀ  sinks,Ā  Ā  heĀ  pulls;Ā  Ā  oneĀ  dayĀ  itĀ  willĀ  beĀ  asĀ  familiarĀ  aĀ  danceĀ  toĀ  themĀ  asĀ  anyĀ  otherĀ  thatĀ  theyĀ  share.Ā  Ā  ThrowingĀ  knivesĀ  andĀ  fightingĀ  sideĀ  byĀ  sideĀ  isĀ  easierĀ  thanĀ  this,Ā  Ā  butĀ  heĀ  wantsĀ  itĀ  justĀ  asĀ  badlyĀ  asĀ  heĀ  fearsĀ  it.Ā  Ā  InejĀ  isĀ  thistledownĀ  onĀ  hisĀ  kneeĀ  whenĀ  sheĀ  perchesĀ  there.Ā  Ā  WaterĀ  lapsĀ  atĀ  hisĀ  anklesĀ  asĀ  heĀ  slidesĀ  hisĀ  handĀ  downĀ  herĀ  spineĀ  toĀ  herĀ  furthestĀ  hipĀ  andĀ  tipsĀ  hisĀ  noseĀ  againstĀ  herĀ  cheek.Ā  Ā  SheĀ  smellsĀ  likeĀ  theĀ  rainĀ  outside;Ā  Ā  KazĀ  shuddersĀ  theirĀ  exhaleĀ  andĀ  shutsĀ  theirĀ  eyes.Ā  Ā  āĀ  Ā  Alright?Ā  Ā  āž
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