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sameschmidtdiffname · 10 months ago

Note

I was wondering if you could do a fic with Mike Schmidt x fem!reader and the quote “can I stack donuts on it?” I apologize in advance 😭

THE FUCKING SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I GOT THISSSSSS BITCH YOU GOT ITTTTTT

Cherries & Cream

Mike Schmidt x AFAB!Reader

Summery: It's a modest holiday. Spent indoors, soft music on the cassette player... oh, and a collection of bad ideas snowballed into a day of sticky situations

Tags: No use of Y/N, author has fucking lost it, comedy, Valentine's Day fic, mentions of failed masturbation attempts, mentions of inappropriate use of lightsabers and water snakes (I SAID AUTHOR HAS FUCKING LOST IT- DONT ASK, JUST READ, IT AINT THAT BAD!), sex toys, handcuffs, sex dice, pre-established relationship, food sex, blowjob, facial, Mike gets restrained like we all know he wants to be.

Notes: I'm not apologizing for shit.

▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

"These are ridiculous questions."

"Oh, come on. Don't be a sourpuss," I say. Cards are scattered around the small box on our bed, both of us long deciding we'd clean up later.

"What does it say?" I ask him, leaning forward. I'm straddling his chest, my arms crossed against mine, dressed in nothing but one of his shirts. His hand on my hip is halfway under the black material, his pointer finger twisting the old cotton around his digit. His other hand holds a dark purple card that he rolls his eyes at before shifting them to focus on me towering over him.

"It doesn't even apply to you," he says.

"And how do you know?" I say smugly.

"Because I've sucked your dick and it's not big enough to apply," he says

"What? Give me that." I snatch the card from his hand, ignoring his laughter as he shifts his hand to rest on my other hip, rubbing soothing circles into my skin while I read.

'What's the weirdest thing you have ever stuck your dick in?'

A short laugh escapes me, a bit louder than it should be with Abby sleeping peacefully down the hall.

"I'm waiting," Mike jokes, smiling up at me with his lips twisted into a smug expression of sarcasm.

"I mean, I stuck a toy lightsaber up my snatch once," I say casually.

"What?" He bellows, descending into a fit of laughter so grand his chest is rattling underneath of me, making my face bloom with blood in embarrassment.

"I was fourteen!" I say quickly in my defense. This doesn't help my case, making him cackle loud enough I grab a pillow to shove onto his face to muffle his fit. He grabs my wrists before it can descend, holding them up as he wheezes.

"Oh, Qui-Gon Jin! You're my only hope!" He relaxes his grip slightly, allowing me to stiffle his incessant noise.

"That was Obi-Wan, and I liked Darth Vader!"

His hands shove the pillow away from his red face, eyes teary and judgemental.

"He's burnt!"

"It was the vibe! Mysterious, dark, and that voice!" I protest. Mike makes a pitiful attempt at the sounds of Vader's breathing through his mask, muddled with spit from his laughter. "James Earl Jones has a handsome voice!"

"It's just so hot," Mike cackled.

"Mike."

"Nothing can hold a candle to it."

"Michael."

"Makes me go-" a crude imitation of lightsaber noises is the last thing Mike can communicate before I'm slamming the pillow down on him, making him laugh harder and block his face from my playful blows as he begs for mercy.

"You're a dick!"

"You'd stick yours in one of those- those-" as he regains his breath and I lessen my attacks, he snaps his fingers, one hand slapping gently against my thigh for thought.

"Oh, you know. One of those fucken- the uh..." He makes a jerking motion with his snapping hand, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling like the answer is written on the spot where some poster used to be.

"A hand?" I ask, crossing my arms and glaring down at him.

"No. One of those toys that had like water in them and you could like- I don't know what the point of them was, some sensory thing. There was like water, maybe fish or sparkles stuffed inside," he describes, gesturing his hand as he speaks.

The image begins to click together in my mind. "Oh yeah. Water snakes?" I ask. He slaps my thigh, snapping his fingers and pointing at me with wide eyes.

"That's the fucker. Yeah, you'd stick your dick in that," he says confidently, nodding and relaxing in satisfaction with his statement.

"Okay, but you can like slide those things in and out so honestly that's kind of genius," I say.

"That plastic burns like a motherfucker though. And it's got those seams for the plastic so lube doesn't help," Mike says, one arm curled above his head and his other hand once more rubbing my hip.

"That's descriptive," I say with narrowed eyes. I lean forward, my face hovering above his. His relaxed hazel eyes widen slightly, but only by a hair. His rubbing stutters. His body language is still casual, but has stiffened enough to betray him.

"Just a thought."

"How old were you?"

"I did not- fifteen."

It's my turn to snicker now, picking my pillow back up and smacking him once more in the head.

"Okay, okay. Teenagers are idiots. Next card, next card," he says laughing, hand now searching for a new card from the deck. "Oh my God. What food item would you use during sex- babe, where the fuck did you find this game?"

"It was some dirty Santa gift, got it a couple years ago," I say with the wave of my hand. "Anyways, it's my turn to ask the question."

"Oh right. Pick a new one," he says, flicking the card away.

"Well, hang on now. On the topic of poor sexual choices and food, what would you use for that?" I ask, smirking and crossing my arms across my chest once more. He glares at me, lips pressed firmly together as he narrows his eyes. There's a long silence, neither of us speaking as we decide who's going to break it.

"Donuts," he finally says.

"Donuts?"

"Yeah. They have the hole," he adds as if it explains everything.

"Uh huh."

"Okay, you used a fucking lightsaber, you cannot-"

"I was fourteen, you are twenty-eight. What happens if you squeeze the thing too hard and you've just got crumbs and frosting all over you?" I ask.

"I wouldn't fuck the damn thing. I'd, like, stack them," he clarifies. "Do it like one of those really cheesy porno bits like 'did someone order some food?' And just rip open the trenchcoat to reveal several donuts stacked on my dong."

"Michael, you've put a weird amount of thought into this."

"It's the fucking question!"

"Okayokayokay- so hypothetically," I begin.

"Mm-hmm."

"If I brought home a box of donuts-"

"Nice ones. Krispy Kreme or some shit, I'm not getting sugar in my shit if it's cheap," he insists.

"...glad to know. If I brought home a box of overpriced donuts and a trench coat-"

"Take the coat out, that was a bit."

"Will you let me finish?"

"That'd be the preferred outcome," he interrupts again. "But like, before the donut thing. If it was like, y'know." He thrusts his hips into the air slightly, not to be arousing but to clarify. Because that's the part he can't say out loud. "'Cause you can't get sugar in your snatch."

"You can't get sugar in your snatch," I repeat slowly, blinking.

"Don't ask."

"Right. So if I brought home the Kreme-y goods, you would present yourself to me with a donut dick?" I ask. He rolls his eyes, suppressing a smile.

"Sure."

Valentine's Day. A day for kids and new couples, mainly. And since this household is aging out of both of those demographics, Mike and I had decided to go smaller this year. Not that we went huge every year before, neither of us feeling quite like blowing a shit load of cash on the day. But usually we booked a reservation at a decent restaurant, put on some nicer clothes, and spent the holiday just having a nice family dinner. But Abby was old enough she was itching to attend some sleepover at a friend's house for the holiday, and Mike and I felt fine just ordering in and playing a card game that we usually thumbed through while bored.

"Do 12 year olds even get valentines?" Mike asks, sprawled upon the bed the night before.

"I don't know, I didn't," I shrug. "She's just visiting her friends and wearing pink so they can gorge on chocolate, sounds like a good holiday to me."

He considers this, scratching his jaw as he continues staring at the ceiling.

"Valentine's Day alone. What trouble we could cause," he teases.

"What food are we ordering in for the trouble, anyways?" I ask, looking up from the box of my things I'd been unpacking, hanging up pictures and placing knick knacks around the room and new desk we'd shoved in earlier that evening.

"Chinese?" He asks.

"Gas for Valentine's Day, I'll love that," I say. He laughs. "How about Italian?"

"Makes me bloated, you'll be top," he says. "What are we doing in that department? I mean, we probably should do something."

"You say that like sex is a chore," I say with a raised brow, looking up at him for a moment from the box.

"Oh, hell no," he says. "If that's a chore than it's my favorite."

"Chores typically bring you closer to God."

"Than I'm smokin' it with Jesus, fuck yeah."

At that I laugh, tossing a small box at him that rattles with something inside. He catches it, laughing and pulling it open out of curiosity.

"Oh ho! What are these?" He asks, holding up a small, hot pink cube.

"Oh Jesus, I thought I lost those. They're-"

"Sex dice!" He laughs. "You whore!"

"I'm not a whore, I just went to college!" I laugh defensively. His eyebrows raise.

"Popular?"

"Fuck off," I groan. "My ex bought those, I just kept them."

Mike rolls the dice in his hands, actually sitting up and crossing his legs on the bed before sending them flying across the quilt.

"Suck toe," Mike reads. "That's disappointing."

"We never used toe, we always just picked a different spot," I say.

"Like?" He asks.

"I don't know, it varied. I guess it was kinda a pick your poison spot," I say. "You wouldn't believe how often it lands on toe."

"The universe is trying to tell you something," he says.

"The universe can suck it," I say. Mike rolls one of the dice again.

"Tit. Nice. I'll be acting as ambassador for said universe sucking-"

"You'll be acting as helping me unpack these dresses," I say, setting the box on the bed in front of him. He stands with a sigh, hands on his hips as he awaits his work. I take out a few dresses and lay them in his arms before returning to my work of organizing the closets.

"Hold 'em," I say.

"Just hold them?"

"Yeah."

"You made me get up for this?"

"Before you find the handcuffs in there? Yeah," I say.

"Handcuffs? We've been together for three years, you're moving into my house and now I'm finding out you have handcuffs?" Mike asks incredulously.

"I didn't know that would upset you," I say honestly, shrugging.

"Upset? I've been deprived! You're a freak and haven't taken it out on me!" He says overdramatically. I roll my eyes but smile.

"I'm not a freak, I've only slept with like, two other guys. That's it," I say.

"So the guys were freaks," he says.

"I mean, I wasn't saying no," I admit.

"So you're a freak when asked?"

"You sound like a teenager."

"I sound like a guy who's gonna be home alone with his girlfriend and sex toys tomorrow, yeah, I sound like a teenager," he says.

"Oh, so we're ordering in and banging all night?" I ask, raising a brow in amusement.

"Was that not the plan already?" He asks.

"I wasn't gonna say it, but if you want to."

The night was spent laying out plans of debauchery. After dropping off Abby in the early afternoon at her friends the next day, Mike and I made a slight detour before heading home, where the items were laid out before us.

Whipped cream. Donuts. Handcuffs. Dice. And some cheap, bottom of the $5 bin collection of 'Top 100 Sexy Songs for Valentine's Day' cassette tape that Mike had grabbed from a local music store during our trip.

"Do you ever question the things we do while bored?" Mike asks, staring at the ceiling, butt naked and handcuffed to the bedframe while I straddle his thighs, trying to figure out how exactly I'm gonna do this.

"Do you?" I ask, pinching his soft tip between my fingers.

"I'm starting to," he says, glancing at the can of whipped cream that was starting to sweat on the bedside table beside us. "I had questions before I shaved my junk for this, but I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Good. Keep that philosophy, I think I figured it out," I say, finally leaning for the box of glazed donuts we'd hardly been able to act mature about buying while going through the drive through. We're not seeing the gates of heaven.

"Shouldn't you get me hard first? It's just gonna grow," he says in questioning, trying to look down at what I'm doing.

"No, because then I'll have to keep you hard and that's gonna deflate quickly," I say. He nods in agreement, satisfied and sighing in slight boredom as I begin my task, trying to get the first donut on without breaking.

"Ow! Are- are you trying to fucking fold my shit?" He asks, his voice slightly higher than it was a moment ago.

"You're bigger than the hole, it's gonna break the donut! It's soft, isn't it?" I ask.

"Not that soft!" He says a bit frantic.

"Okay, what if I stretch it out like this?" I ask, tugging his dick upwards.

"I'm gonna ask you not to!" Mike says. His thumbs find the latches for the handcuffs, undoing one so he can reach down himself. "Jesus Christ- you're gonna break me!"

"This is my job," I say amused, giggling as I cover my mouth with my hand.

He ignores me, examining himself and the donut before glaring at the corner of the room, sighing.

"Motherfucker, I've been blessed, goddammit," he groans.

"What a humble statement," I say, trying not to laugh.

"This is humbling enough. Do what you will, I guess," he says, flopping back onto the bed, donut in hand and taking a bite from it as he crosses his ankles beneath me.

"I need that," I say.

"There's eleven more, this is my consolation prize," he says through his mouthful, returning his glare to the ceiling.

"You gonna redo the handcuff?" I ask.

"I'll redo your fucken dad," he snaps, but shoves the rest of the donut in his mouth as he fiddles with the handcuffs once again, groaning as I start on my work.

It takes half an hour, four donuts and a ridiculous amount of whipped cream, but the deed is done. Stepping off the bed, I behold my work of a restrained, glaring, donut stacked and cream covered Mike with a proud smile.

"This was exponentially hotter in my head," he mutters, looking down at himself.

"You don't like it?" I ask.

"I didn't say that, I'm just not drooling over- where are you going?" He asks. I quickly dart out of the room, racing to the kitchen as a series of 'babe?' Rings throughout the house. I open the fridge quickly, find the box of cherries and race back into the bedroom, holding it up as though it were a crown jewel.

"Ohh, my fucking God," Mike loudly drawls, rolling his eyes.

"I almost forgot," I say with malicious glee.

"I wish you had," he says, staring at the ceiling. "You're sick in the head."

"This was your idea."

"I'm sick in the head, I repent, I repent."

Placing a fat cherry carefully on top of the fluffy tip, I smile in true satisfaction.

"Perfect," I say, hands working to undo my house robe, shrugging it off and leaving me in simple lingerie instead.

"Now you faceplant into my dessert dick. Delicious," he deadpans.

"Mike, if you really don't wanna do this-"

"I'm gonna get a fucking UTI, just fulfill the high school fantasy already. I'll have no shame once I'm hard," he spits out quickly, jerking against the restraints slightly in impatience.

Well, that's true enough.

I lean forward, trying to figure out where to start, deciding between bottom or top.

"Babe, this is mortifying, just do some- oh-kay," Mike groans, his hips shifting slightly as I gently suck one of his freshly shaved balls into my mouth, my tongue swirling around it as I grip his thighs. The stack shifts slightly, Mike moaning as he thrusts against nothing.

My mouth works his sack for a little bit, one of my hands trailing down to between his legs to press against the spot behind his balls, making him keen into my touch as he moans loudly, the handcuffs clicking against the frame of our bed as he squirms. When I'm sure he's hardened properly underneath, I remove my mouth, making him whine as I glance up at him, smiling.

"Doing good?" I ask sweetly, pressing my fingers harder into the spot between his legs.

"Still mortifying, just keep going," he moans shamelessly, his cheeks red as he keeps his eyes closed in embarrassment.

I lean down once more, licking at the melting whipped cream on the tip of his cock, his moans growing louder as my tongue finds contact with his cock, his skin cold and wet underneath of the cream. I'm barely able to reach his actual tip, my tongue sticking down far in the hole of the top donut. I begin biting into the food, quickly tearing away at my work in eagerness of what awaits.

There's probably a special place in Hell reserved for the two of us for doing something like this and enjoying it, but I promise you, if you could see the look on his face right now, blushing wildly and trying to hide behind the bulk of his large arm, it would be worth it.

Once the first two donuts are gone I take off the cherry from the top, dangling it over his mouth in teasing.

"Want some?" I ask. He just groans in response, his cock twitching from neglect. I chuckle, tossing the fruit away and quickly taking him into my mouth, drawing a sharp, high moan from him as I suck eagerly, admiring the taste of his skin mixed with the sweet sugar from the food.

Yeah. Definitely worth it.

Pre-cum shoots into my mouth as he rolls his hips into my face, my hand still working against him as I swirl my tongue around his tip, sucking harshly as I watch him. His back arches against the bed, his head thrown back in pleasure as he loses himself in the feeling of my mouth against him.

"Go deeper," he begs, his voice soft as he bucks into my mouth, his arms straining against the handcuffs. "Holy shit, please go deeper."

His hips buck harshly against my face, smashing the two other donuts and an annoying amount of cream into my face, covering me in a facial I didn't ask for.

I pull away from him, stopping my hand and just staying still for a moment to allow him a proper look at my face.

"... I do not like this," I deadpan. I'd blink if I could open my eyes right now.

Small whines escape him as his hips continue moving, questions being voiced then everything ceasing all at once as I guess he takes a good look at me. There's a moment of silence, then he bursts out laughing at the sight, loud and obnoxious.

"It's in your hair!" He exclaims, probably wishing he could point at me as I blindly search for the hand towel nearby.

"I hope this was worth it," I say flatly, suppressing my own giggle.

"Oh, the feeling is awful, but you're doing great," he says sweetly, still chuckling as he watches me wipe at my face, groaning at the stickiness of it all.

"Jesus, I'm a mess," he says, looking down at himself. "Can we just take that off and-"

"Yeah, normal blow job, on it," I finish for him, quickly taking off the other two, very smushed donuts and discarding of them inside the box. "You have horrible ideas "

"You wanted us to try new shit, this is not on me," he laughs, smiling at me. "But thank you for answering a decade old question."

"You're weird," I say.

"Just fuck me," he says back.

Quickly I take him back into my mouth, deepthroating him and encouraging him to fuck my mouth, focusing on my breathing as he does with blind obedience. His thighs press against the sides of my head, squeezing slightly as his tip rams into the back of my throat, all gentleness off the table. My tongue slides against his prominent vein, feeling how he throbs, his cock stiff and twitching from the stimulation. He pants loudly, whining when I press my tongue harder into his vein, a loud 'snap' echoing from near his head.

His movements cease for a moment, his chest heaving as realization crosses his face.

"... the handcuffs weren't expensive, right?" He asks inbetween gasps, holding up his hands to show the cheap cuffs now hanging uselessly around his wrists.

My eyebrows raise in surprise, my head beginning to lift off of him when one of his hands comes down on my head, suddenly gripping my hair as he begins to fuck my mouth with new vigor, tearing lewd sounds from my throat as I gag sharply around him.

"Fuck it, I'll buy another pair," he decides, slamming quickly into my throat as he pulls my hair sharply, his pre-cum beginning to thicken in my mouth. "It's not like you mind, right, sweetheart?" He asks, propping himself up with one arm to watch as I swallow his dick eagerly, one of my hands dipping down to play with my clit. He tugs sharply at my hair, making me whine as his other hand smacks quick and gentle against my hollowing cheek before pointing at me.

"No," he says sharply. "I'll deal with you after."

His hand strokes my cheek as he continues fucking my face, his thumb trained on my chin, keeping my mouth open wide for him. His eyes are glazed over in pleasure as he watches me, my spit dribbling down my chin as I take him, my legs pressed tightly together as I grab blindly at his thighs, admiring the thickness as I gag on his cock.

"Fuck- you're so pretty," he moans, his cock twitching in closeness. "And kind." I moan appreciatively around him, eager to feel his cum down my throat as I dig my nails into his thighs. "Don't know how I got so lucky."

His hand roughly drags my head up by my hair, forcing me off of his cock and making me whine as I try to take him back into my mouth. His hand wraps around his length, pumping quickly as he watches me.

"Keep your mouth open, pretty girl," he commands softly. I obey, sticking out my tongue slightly, eager to please. He smiles at the sight, his lashes fluttering shut once more as he fucks his hand quickly, using my thick spit as lube, beginning to lose rhythm.

"I'm gonna cum," he warns breathily. "I'm gonna- fuck!"

His words stutter as he gasps, his hand squeezing roughly at his cock as his cum hits my face, warm and thick against my skin. We watch each other as the first few ropes cover my face, admiring the other in a hazy cloud of desire and satisfaction. Then he shoves his cock back into my mouth, his hand pumping me up and down his length again as he finishes shooting his load down my throat, admiring my new look.

"I'm just- gonna do this for awhile," he gasps, his cock still stiff in my mouth as his flow of cum begins to slow, his hips still quick in contrast.

I moan around him, my cunt clenching in want.

"Don't worry," he says, reaching for something in the nightstand, pulling open a drawer and revealing his new gift for me. "You'll get some fun too."

When I tell y'all this motherfucker somehow found a dildo shaped like a fucking lightsaber.

Goddammit, I'm gonna marry him.

¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

You heard me.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

•▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

how would y'all feel if I told you the title was a pun from that old 'berries and cream' meme

308 notes · View notes

brain-palace · 1 year ago

Text

Notes: This post is created as an archive for myself so I can easily find the fics I love. If you're looking for something new to read feel free to have a look I recommend everything here. I read many different characters/universes, so I'll list them all so you don't waste time looking at something that isn't relevant to you. If you find something you like please show the fics and their authors some love! Also, this is a long post!

Disclaimer: None of the works below belongs to me unless it explicitly says so. © - All rights reserved to the authors. If a fic does not have a name I will make one up for the sake of archival purposes.

Daryl Dixon (TWD) ↴ Series ↴

Spitfire | by @rfsak2 | OC (Original character) | "Everyone always thought Daryl was the rough one." | ✎

Close to home | by @paintyoureyeswithavividmind | "When a run goes poorly and Daryl is separated from his group, a stranger and her companion help get him out of a sticky situation. Little does Daryl know this stranger is much closer to home and his life is going to get a bit more complicated" | ✎♡ ☁

Return | by @daryl-dixon-daydreams | "Daryl loses Y/N when they head into Atlanta to rescue Beth. Her absence colours his years until they find each other again." | ♡ ☁ ❈ ✎

Till dead do us part | by @xwritingdixonx | "Daryl Dixon hasn't seen his wife in 3 years until he strolls through the gates of Alexandria. Reunited with his love and his family, he should feel peace, tranquillity, warmth. Instead, he's faced with confusion, shock, and heartache. Just like so many others put through the abuse and torment of the world, it changes people. Twists your mind, makes all your morals disappear. The kind waitress, the brave bartender, Georgia's delight, Mrs. Dixon. Now, mother of nothing - daughter of rage. The whore of Alexandria. A conqueror with tits. Why can't the Blackwell family get a word in before the people of Alexandria point fingers and create storybook titles? It's finally your turn to talk and Daryl's turn to listen." |

Oneshots ↴

The regulars | by daryl-dixon-daydreams | "Based on watching your interactions, Daryl thinks you, a bartender at a local dive, may actually have a thing for his older brother Merle, but a series of events at the bar may begin to show him otherwise" | ♡

All I'm living for | by @alldevilsharehere90 | "Just when you finally got the man you wanted, another surprise could threaten your relationship, especially when a herd of walkers is almost at your doorstep." | ☁ ♡

Old childhood fools | by @r66dus | "Drunk Daryl and y/n fooling around at the CDC" | 🔞

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Rick Grimes (TWD) ↴ Series ↴

The Claim | by @woman-of-balnain | Despite everything that’s going on, despite the world going to shit, despite wanting to stay on Hershel’s good side, despite his marriage falling apart, despite the way he knows he’s broken… despite it all, Rick can��t fight how badly he wants you. | 🔞✓

Undone in sorrow | by woman-of-balnain | "Finally coming face to face with Negan threatens the ties that bind your relationship with Rick together. After that first meeting, the two of you try to pick up the broken pieces of one another and become whole again." | ☁ 🔞

The nurse | by @itsgrimeytime | " Before all this, you were a nurse. A nurse who had patients, one of which was a man in a coma. A sheriff, you think, it was all kinda fuzzy now. When it all went sideways, you set up what you could for the man - but had to leave. You'd always wondered where he'd ended up; until in your search for shelter, you run into a familiar face" | ✎♡ ☁

Magnolia in May | by itsgrimeytime | "Your town was small, not the smallest you knew, but anyone of high fortune was the gossip of the week. Predictably, Richard Grimes was a thing of whispers -rumours of a search for marriage among the grassy hills. You weren't one to buy into town gossip, but something about him... just seemed a little too intriguing." | ✎♡ ☁

Swear | by @daryandricky | "Shane tells reader that Rick didn't make it after the hospital was overrun, causing reader to travel with her former military brother to find somewhere safe." | ✎♡ ☁

Oneshots ↴

The life we could have had | by itsgrimeytime | "Rick knows you're gone, he does. He just keeps seeing you in everything" |

Everything I wanted | by @bloatedandalone04 | "The one where both you and rick are really bad at communicating your feelings." |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Peter Parker (MCU) ↴ Oneshot ↴

Stacked against you (tasm)| by @delicate-dorothea | "Summary: You confront Spider-Man about his true identity, manila envelope style (literally)." |❈

No chance (tasm) | by @spider-stark | "Thinking he has no chance with y/n as himself, Peter begins approaching them as Spider-Man." |

Are you busy (tasm)| by @luveline | "You’re worried you don’t know how to kiss. your best friend Peter offers to teach you how among other things" | ♡

In the real world | by luveline | "You notice something about Spider-Man during a violent villain showdown, then you have to save his life."

White lies, red & blue tights (tasm) | by @t-lostinworlds | "You and Peter accidentally dressed up in the same costumes for Halloween. But he was not wearing a costume, it was his suit. You simply didn’t know that your favorite superhero and your boyfriend were the same. Who would’ve thought that seeing you in red and blue would be the breaking point of his lies" | ♡

Question (tom)| by @waitimcomingtoo | "Peter accidentally sends you mixed signals when he kisses you for the first time then stands you up" | ♡ ☁

It was fun, being 21 (tom)| by @loverwebs | "In which your boyfriend, Peter Parker, doesn't make it to your birthday dinner. So you walk home alone, only to run into the city's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man." | ♡ ☁

Series ↴

Infinitely you (all of them) | by spider-stark | "In every universe you are the one person Peter Parker will always love more than anything; unfortunately, he always realizes it too late. Now that they've been granted a second chance none of them are willing to miss out on finally making things right." | ☁ ♡ ✎|

The red string | by @never--doubt | "Once a year, everyone over a certain age can see the Red String of Fate that connects them to their soulmate. This year, Peter Parker is ready to find his soulmate, be with them. But the question is…is his soulmate ready?" |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Steve Harrington (ST) ↴ Series ↴

Nail to the coffin | by @thetargaryenbride | "Y/N Byers wondered what would end up being the death of the small town she lived in. She never expected that the last nail on the coffin would be hammered by monsters from another dimension who would end up hunting down her friends and family one by one…" | ☁

You deserve each other | by @bimrwolf | "You and Steve have been together for five years. He's seemingly the perfect boyfriend, kisses on the cheek, knowing your orders at the restaurant. A great lover. Too bad you've had enough can't stand him." |

Oneshots ↴

The way you call me "Baby" | by @forevermoreharrington | "Steve’s been so patient with his girl but he just can’t take it anymore and neither can she" | 🔞

Love on the brain | by @vendettaparker | "You suffer from a bad case of pregnancy brain, leaving Steve to hover over you, much to your annoyance." | ♡

Almost Got It | by @mentalpolaroids | "She’s a barista at a coffee shop and always screws up Steve’s name on purpose" | ♡

Tainted Love | by @megxplryxb | ☁ ♡

Tornado warnings | by @harringtonwebs | "You and Steve had a very intense relationship now that you're up, hates to see you with someone new." |

I will always be right there | by @familyvideostevie | "you come first. you’re always my first choice." | ♡

Tell me again | by @appocalipse | "Would you stop stuffing your face with candy for one moment and listen?" |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Eddie Munson ↴ Oneshot ↴

Mechanic Eddie | by @whoahoney | "Reader’s shit box car pooped out on her once again, but at least the cute new mechanic seems eager to help." | ♡

Say you love me | by @marianita195 | "Based on the TikTok trend where girls don’t say “I love you” back to their boyfriends. " | ♡ ❈

Bookworm | by @corroded-hellfire | "Eddie has a thing for the local bookworm he just doesn't show it in the best way." | ☁ ♡

I'm Eddie - Eddie Munson | by @cosmal | "Your father finds Eddie in your room in the middle of something. eddie's a smug bastard." |

His glasses | by @pedgito | "Eddie in his glasses is just adorable" |

Grand Gesture | by appocalipse | "catching feelings for your best friend was never in your plans. when you start distancing yourself from him to protect your heart, eddie vows to do everything in his power to keep it forever." | ♡

Never Kissed | by cosmal | "eddies first date with you doesn't go how he'd planned and he hadn't even expected a kiss. still, you kiss him because you want to."

Series ↴

Worlds Apart | by @munsons-maiden | "You’re the only survivor among the Mind Flayer’s victims, thanks to your friends - but after the Battle of Starcourt, you find yourself adrift in a sea of nightmares. Until an encounter in the woods with Eddie The Freak Munson offers an unexpected lifeline and turns your world upside down." | ☁ ♡

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Spencer Ried (CM) ↴ Oneshots ↴

Passive Agressive | by @ddejavvu | "Spencer’s stressed, and he takes it out on you. You’re sure it would have hurt far worse if he’d shouted, but instead, he broke you down bit by bit, his cold demeanour leaving you crying in your car." | ☁ ♡

Tactic Admissions | by @almostgenerallyalways | "Spencer lands in the hospital, and you have to come clean with yourself." | ☁ ♡

Days off with Spencer | by @justmyheart | ♡

Back to you | by @radiant-reid | "Spencer never thought she would love him the way he loves her, but he also never thought she would come back from the dead" | ☁ ♡

No hair for you, devil! | by @thyme-in-a-bubble |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Aaron Hotchner (CM) ↴ Oneshots ↴

Self-Made | by @her-storybooks | "The BAU gets a visitor who tares through the bullpen and leaves everyone in puddles of mush and exploded hearts." | ♡

Good for him | by @ptersparkers | "Aaron loves you. he hopes his son loves you as much as he does." | ♡

Better than morphine | by her-storybooks | "Broken Bone. When Y/N gets her leg broken by an UnSub, she clings to Aaron to help dull the pain." | ☁ ♡

Spontaneous phenomena | by @luveline | "Hotch touches your face much more than a boss should. Or, 5 times you have a nosebleed +1 time Hotch does." | ☁ ♡

Old man problems | by @hoe4hotchner | "Can you possibly write an imagine where Hotch pulls his back on a case, and the fem'reader offers to help him work it out in a friendly way because she was once a licensed massage therapist? Aaron of course is hesitant but gives in and allows it. But it gets heated" | ♡

Sweeter than fiction | By @hotchgirlsummer | "The bau decides to throw a small birthday party for Hotch. the reader is tasked with baking a cake, could this be their chance to express feelings?" |

A solitary mistake | by luveline | " You're not sure you're ready to come back. Hotch has total faith in you. Or, your transition back into the team after your abduction doesn't go as smoothly as you'd hoped." |

I'm Sorry | by @14buddy22 | "Aarons been treating you differently lately" | ☁

New mom | by @marvelslut16 |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Thomas Shelby (PB) ↴ Series ↴

Challenge of a name | by @gypsy-girl-08 | "Y/N is new to Birmingham, she works at an accountant firm. In this part, The Shelby’s arrive at her office to pick up their accounts, where she meets Thomas for the first time. She was in a long-term relationship and is recently single, having moved for a fresh start. Still recovering from the split, she has no intention of meeting anyone else."

Tachipen | by @zablife | "With the flip of a coin, Tommy makes a deal to bring a 20 year old gypsy girl into the Shelby clan. Considering her too young to marry, he employs her as a nanny. When tragedy strikes, he’s forced to confront the truth he has always known." |

Angst | by @murphyoclock | "Your and Tommy's argument gets out of hand when you provocatively try to make him jealous at his charity party." | ☁

Oneshots ↴

Peaky caps and razorblades | by @acewritesfics | "y/n helps Tommy sew his blades into his cap." | ♡

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

John Shelby (PB) ↴ Oneshots ↴

Just play along | by @runnning-outof-time | "When the person who (Y/N) feels has been following her gets a little too close for comfort, she makes a quick decision that involves John Shelby and some good acting...or maybe no acting at all." |

Red lipstick | by @kkurades | "You feel flattered when charlie shelby asks to marry you while your husband feels like he could strangle his nephew" |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Alfie Solomon (PB) ↴ Oneshots

A very Shelby Christmas | by @cillmequick | "Alfie and his sassy little wife find themselves in the midst of the Shelby clan for Christmas because Alfie’s sister is in a relationship with Tommy." |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Steddie (ST) ↴ Oneshots

Cookies and consoling | by @mangchai | "After a hard day, you return home to your boyfriends who want to cheer you up." | ♡

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Billy (ST) ↴ Oneshots ↴

Bartender Billy | by @billysbabyy |

♠ ♤ ♣ ♧

Arvin Russel (TDATT)↴ Oneshots ↴

Mockingbird | by waitimcomingtoo | "Arvin joins a book club just to see you but has to pretend to be your boyfriend to stay"

Notes: This post only contains all longer fics I will be creating a separate post for shorter fics/ i.e. headcanons, imagines, drabbles and scenarios that I love. The link to that will be here �� The little things.

#daryl dixon x reader #peter parker x reader #rick grimes x reader #aaron hotch x reader #arvin russell x reader #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #tommy shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #spencer reid x reader #alfie solomons x reader #daryl x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #rick grimes x you #peter parker fanfiction #tasm peter parker x reader

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the-muppet-joker · 9 months ago

Text

I Felt Your Embrace

Part 1

Tags: Joker x Kermit, Cosmo Kramer, Joker's Cum Makes Kermit Insane, Cum Harvesting

--Martians (Sesame Street) x Kramer, Vore, and more to come in part 2--

♤♡♧♧

Cosmo Kramer had done some odd jobs in his life, this one was just about to take the cake. He was visiting Gotham on a whim, and saw an ad in the paper for a delivery job that seemed to be a quick cash grab. "Delivery boy wanted for a Mr. Joker, eh? Sounds like I just gotta deliver clown supplies or somethin, like those flowers that shoot people with water, or maybe juggling balls. Shouldn't be too difficult...might even get free clown supplies. You never know, could come in handy..."

He realized, too late, that this Joker was no ordinary clown. Before him was a scene that was equal parts disturbing, errotic, and baffling. A green muppet fellow, a frog by the looks of it, lay in an ecstatic stupor on the floor of the warehouse the Joker had requested Kramer meet him at. The muppet, addressed by the clown as "Kermit" had been in a violent frenzy when Kramer had arrived, and only calmed down when Joker had scooped copious amounts of a strange, sticky fluid out of the hole in his back, storing it safely in a jar. The way Kermit had moaned and shuddered at the contact, and how even in his subdued state he lay twitching on the floor with a blissful, fucked out look in his eyes... Kramer eyed the substance in the jar and gulped nervously. Whatever it was, it sure made that muppet go wild.

The clown who hired him cleared his throat, snapping Kramer out of his thoughts. He looked different than most clowns he had seen: instead of silly, baggy clothes, he wore a tight-fitting, stylish purple suit that complimented his lean figure. Where most clowns had painted a dopey smile, the Joker's milky white face had a sharp, crimson grin. And his eyes... his eyes were what drew Kramer in the most acid green, with a slight glow that matched that of the jar's contents.

"If you're done staring, I'd like to talk business," Joker crooned. Kramer nodded wordlessly, wondering when his mouth had gotten so dry. Joker grinned.

"My darling Kermit over there has a group of acquantences who are... new in town, so to speak. They have a passion for cataloging just about everything on earth in this quaint little book of theirs."

Joker's eyes burned into Kramer's as he spoke, and Kramer was suddenly reminded of a snake constricting its prey.

"They stopped by unexpectedly the other day in the middle of one of me and Kermit's... sessions, and they want a sample of whatever made him act so strangely so they may research it." Joker pressed the jar and a slip of paper into Kramer's sweaty hands. Joker's long, spiderlike fingers brushed against Kramer's and he had to surpress a yelp. Jesus, I don't know if I'm more terrified or turned on by this weirdo, but I gotta snap out of it. You're here for a job, Kramer. Think of the cash, Kramer thought desperately.

"Go to the address on that paper and deliver this. Get their signature confirming they received it, return here, and I will reward you handsomly. Joker finished with a blood-red smile.

"With cash, right? $1000?" Kramer asked, fidgeting. He wasn't sure where to look; hot-creepy clown, moaning muppet, jar of glowing cum in his hands... Jerry was never going to believe this shit.

Joker just smiled even wider, and Kramer babbled an assortment of "sounds good" and "got it boss" type phrases as he stumbled out the door. This clown is outta control, he thought, hoping the folks at the location on the paper would be less strange...

--Part 2 Coming Soon--

#Kermit x joker #nsft #kermit joker writes

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well-of-written-word · 5 months ago

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Kaito Momota X A Reader Who Loves To Draw Him

HELLO , EVERYNY~AN!!! I keep forgetting to start trying to properly get this blog up and running, or I get stuck with not feeling like it - so here's my attempt at actually doing something of worth with this blog! I've never written in the format of headcannons before, so this will probably read very wonky. But since this is the first proper writing on this blog, I'll let it slide. Can't expect a freshly hatched chick to fly on its first day out the egg or whatever they say.

Plot Summary: Kaito finds out you've drawn him before & geeks out over it

♤ Kaito would love to look at your art and ask you about it. He'd spend all day flipping through your sketchbook, admiring all the doodles you filled its pages with.

♡ Even if it's something you felt didn't look any kind of good, or was something you barely put any effort in. Just for it being something made by your hands, it was worth thousands of dollars in his eyes.

◇ I mean, especially if it's a sketch that captivates the world's one and only luminary of the stars for hours on end, which is exactly what happened when he found a sketch of his face lying around in your room.

♧ Stars erupted in his eyes from excitement. Kaito drowned your art in compliments with how amazing it was, how accurate it looked to him, and how it just perfectly captured everything about his image.

♤ From then on, he's near constantly asking you to draw him. Sometimes, he'll come and find you just to strike a pose and ask you to draw him. Or whenever something special was happening, or he's doing something cool, he feels that the best, most acceptable way to capture the moment is with your artstyle.

♡ There's also many times where you draw him with any prompting, whether it's just him living life, working out, doodling him without thinking whenever you're bored, filling up pages with warm up sketches of him.

◇ An entire wall of his room is dedicated to hanging up your art of him. From pieces you've poured a good chunk of effort into, and spend days, even weeks on - to tiny little sticky note doodles of your hand holding his face.

#kaito momota #kaito momota x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa x y/n #danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa #new writter boost

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jnginlov · 2 years ago

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ateez masterlist

↼ back to directory

key

♡ – favorites

☁︎ – fluff

☾ – angst

✧ – comedy

✷ - suggestive

ꕥ – smau

♧ – series

♣︎ – one shot

✗ seonghwa

nothing yet

✗ hongjoong

you’re his bias ♣︎ ☁︎ ♡

⇀ idol au, when you and your group go on idol radio to promote your latest comeback, you don’t anticipate one of the hosts to be completely enraptured by you

eclipse playlist

✗ yunho

line a ♣︎ ☁︎ ☾

⇀ strangers to lovers, when did you start to have feelings for the cute stranger on your morning commute and how are you going to be able to tell him?

✗ yeosang

nothing yet

✗ san

sticky by kiss of life ♣︎ ☁︎

⇀ for san's birthday the only gift he wants is for you two to last, sticking together past this casual phase

✗ mingi

birthday by ten ♣︎ ☁︎ ✷

⇀ you give your boyfriend his final birthday gift, a performance you’re sure he’ll never forget

✗ wooyoung

to love you ♣︎ ☁︎ ☾

⇀ fake dating au, when you ask him to be your fake fling he’s not prepared for the way it will make his unaddressed feelings for you grow

✗ jongho

nothing yet

✗ ot8

ateez as romantic tropes ♣︎ ☁︎ ☾ ✧

⇀ each of the members in different cliche romantic scenarios

ateez reaction to you crying at a movie ♣︎ ☁︎ ☾

⇀ headcanons, reactions

ateez with a clingy and affectionate drunk partner ♣︎ ☁︎

⇀ headcanons, reactions

#ateez masterlist #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #atz x reader #ateez fic #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #atz fanfic #atz fic #atz masterlist

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star-xxx1 · 1 year ago

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Natahsa Romanoff masterlist

Keys:

Angst-♧ fluff-♤ smut-♡ Hurt/comfort-◇ Dark-☆

One-shots:

Cervix Kisses- ♡

Attitude- ♡☆

Mrs. Romanoff your truly fucking sick, but I'll always love you- ♤☆

The Game for Your Life- Русская рулетка- ☆

Dr. Romanoff -♡

Sticky situations -♡

Series:

Money is the anthem of success - pt.2- ♡♧♤

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shmowder · 4 months ago

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He's on the brink of a breakthrough

#♧memes #♧artemy #♧sticky #pathologic memes #Artemy Burakh #sticky burakh #pathologic #memes

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kameyyy · 24 days ago

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mey‘s tbr:

♤ - haikyuu

♧ - jjk

◇ - bsd

onigiri shop date - @/solzscribblez ♤

around the world - @/solzscribblez ♤

off balance - @/solzscribblez ♤

showmance (one chance) - @/solzscribblez ♤

star chaser - @/solzscribblez ♤

drunk walk home - @/eggyrocks ♤

debt - @/eggyrocks ♤

the tragedy - @/eggyrocks ♤

static - @/eggyrocks ♤

the party's not over - @/causenessus ♤

tonics - @/causenessus ♤

present - @/causenessus ◇

wild youth - @/nectardaddy ♤

oh captain, my captain - @/nectardaddy ♤

drop out - @/nectardaddy ♧

mors tua, vita mea - @/nectardaddy ♤

wouldn’t it be nice - @/mollyrolls ♤

masterpiece - @/mollyrolls ♤

stop the clock - @/mollyrolls ♤

on sight! - @/sandwhitches ♤

the spins - @/sandwhitches ♧

casual - @/imoncloud7 ♤

talk too much. - @/honeekyuu ♤

ask you something. - @/sticky-sugar ♤

must be this tall to ride - @/scaredy-katts ♤

street style - @/19calicos ♤

i know where to look - @/19calicos ♤

phantasma - @/idlerin ♤

love sick - @/idlerin ♤

the ikarus incident - @/idlerin ♤

the nightshift - @/cr4yolaas ♤

whiplash - @/cr4yolaas ♧

talk it out - @/afyrian ♤

love's nectar - @/afyrian ♤

all of wyr <3 - @/afyrian

eclipse of memories - @/nekozaki ♤

jackal‘s den - @/nekozaki ♤

homemade love - @/nekozaki ♤

„we are the blood in our…was it veins or arteries again?“ - @/hatsukeii ♤

12:51 FM - @/hatsukeii ♤

full - @/warlocksoup ♤

sleaze - @/warlocksoup ♤

get ugly - @/warlocksoup ♤

jawbones and iron wire - @/warlocksoup ♤

(she‘s) just a phase - @/chososcamgirl ♧

space between thoughts - @/hyunteru ♤

poker face - @/aozui ♤

part time lover - @/aozui ♤

the footage - @/risararelywrites ♧

soft launch - @/lale-txt ♤

attachment issues - @/lale-txt ♤

love, preserved - @/lale-txt ♤

parfum d‘étoiles - @/heartmaddie ♤

magnolias - @/heartmaddie ♤

out of my mind - @/silentscrying ♧

modern au!masterlist - @/reignpage ♧

fanboy - @/ollyissleppy ♤

play dumb! - @/piftamere ♤

accrued interest - @/archelangeli ♤

#jfc this took ages #still not 100% everything but I don’t think I‘ll put oneshots/drabbles on here #i went through my following in chronological order so this isn’t sorted by importance or anything #and the last two were in my drafts #do you guys understand now why I‘m losing my overview?#this is so long pls I hope I put every link correctly #anyway this is stuff I am reading or waiting for #or plan on reading #mey‘s tbr #navigation

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quantum1mmortality · 1 year ago

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Really super awesome and cool shenhe smut

For my coworker who bought me ice cream in return for a smut. Thank you broski, this is for you

Tw/cw: afab reader, fem pronouns, shenhes very hot and sexy we love her, bdsm? She ties you up with red ropes, degrading, threesome with ice twin, mentions of morax, she threatens to crush you w her thighs its very hot, consent isn't said verbally but rather physically

Not proofread because fuck you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♧ Being an adventurer from Fontaine, your expectations were high when it came to scenery.

♧ It goes without saying that you had your fair share of dangerous encounters with random enemies. Treasure hoarders and hilichurls being the most common, usually the latter. You had always carried a small pocket knife with you just in case you had run into a sticky situation, but you'd usually run away before it could get out of hand.

♧ After a specific hilichurl encounter made you drop your knife, you had no choice but to climb up the mountain in front of you. Luckily, it wasnt a high climb and hilichurls don't have the brain capacity to follow you up. When you got to the top, you were amazed at the way it was flat at the top, with a large tree in the middle covering what seemed to be a tea table.

♧ As you started to walk around more, you find a small cave. Walking into it would reveal a glowing light and a young woman, seemingly your age. "And who might you be?" She asked, sensing your presence before even turning around. When she did finally meet your eyes, you were at a loss for words. She had this beautiful white hair, flowing down to her hips that was tied in a loose braid, and she was dressed in black fabric that fit her skin perfectly. She looked completely void of emotion and she just stared at you, awaiting an answer.

♧ "Just an adventurer who seemed to come at the wrong time. My sincerest apologies, I'll go now." Before you could start walking away, some sort of clone of the woman appeared in front of you. She seemed to be made of ice and had a talisman coving her face. She stood in the doorway you entered through, blocking your path.

♧ "Not so fast. Not until we're done with you." She says, looking at the figure behind you. "You're not from around here. You make it obvious. I should show you how punishment is served, maybe you'll learn your lesson." She's right in front of you now, looking down on you with her cold, soulless eyes.

♧ The white haired woman grabs a hold of your wrist and roughly pushes you to the ground, her ice twin lifting your hips up, working on getting your traveling gear off your waist. "Careful now, she's fragile."

♧ The Ice clone was done, leaving you in just panties and a bra, completely exposed to the both of them. Now then, where's my rope..." The woman says in a sarcastic tone. Her ice clone looks at her, slowly taking out a large amount of red rope. "Ah, here it is." She says as she gives you the most sinister grin you've ever seen. She begins to tie you up, your legs becoming joint at your thighs and ankles while your arms were bound at your wrists.

♧ "This will make it a much more pleasurable experience for the both of us." The woman says, her ice clone moving to now have you head laying on her thighs. The clone slips her hands under your bra, slowly pinching your nipples and rolling them in her fingers. The white haired woman looked up at your face as she knelt down in front of you, asking for permission. You give a desperate nod as she pulls your panties to the side, making it unbearable with how you can't spread your legs for her more.

♧ She licks a straight stripe up your pussy, making sure to give your clit extra stimulation. She moved her hands, one on your ass while the other slid down your stomach to in-between your thighs. Her hands spreading your legs out as far as possible, which wasn't exactly far, creating tension and friction. She begins to move her thumb at a steady pace as she slid her tongue inside you, slowly tongue fucking you. All this stimulation was too much, having this white haired woman between your thighs while her clone endlessly kneads your tits with her cold hands. You began to moan loudly, the woman between your legs slaps your ass in response, kneading it after to soothe the sting. "Shut it slut. Maybe I really should punish you. Crush you with my thighs, hm? Or would you like that, whore?"

♧ You began to bite your lip so hard it bled, but the woman continues fucking you. Trying to suppress any noise you make is torture, to the point you may actually combust. Arching your back, you can feel the knot in your stomach forming as both women continue to please you in ways you've never been pleased. As the white haired woman tongue fucks your pussy and stimulates your clit, she takes her tongue out and licks her middle and ring finger, slowly inserting them back into your pussy along with her tongue.

♧ After that the knot in your stomach broke, having such an amazing orgasm no amount of pain could stop you from moaning. Both women get up, the white haired woman staring down at you as she wipes her chin. "What would our lord Morax think?" She says in a cocky tone, watching as her ice twin unties you from the rope.

♧ Before you could even get up to get changed, a strange figure shows up in the doorway, casting a shadow on all three of you. It's... A bird? She doesn't look very happy. She sighs and puts her head down. "Seriously Shenhe? Again?" The bird says, leaving you in confusion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: eek

#genshin imact smut #genshin impact #genshin smut #shenhe #shenhe x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin shenhe #shenhe smut #genshin x reader smut

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sameschmidtdiffname · 10 months ago

Note

hai i have a request for a mike fic, so i was thinking of a comfort/hurt type of thing and maybe like a “i didn’t know where else to go” kind of trope where reader shows up to his house in the middle of the night distressed and he comforts her

To All I Think is Safe

Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summery: After a family dinner gone awry, something guides you somewhere where your mind can safely wander in better memories than the ones you're making right now.

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific pronouns for Reader, mentions of arguments, heavy disassociation, heavy nosebleeding, flashbacks, first kiss, date, fear of heights, fair date, author is fucking trying, fluff.

Notes: I think my bosses want me dead. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

I can handle family. Who can't handle family?

The part of me knocking on the green door illuminated only by the orange streetlight a few yards away, trying to peak through one of the three window slots on the door to see if there's any sign of life inside of the modest house, praying that there is out of selfish desperation. That's who.

I hadn't called. Hadn't given notice. I'd been too caught up in the emotions of myself to do so, worried I'd be turned away if I had. The thought makes me feel ill now, my mind chastising me for such a self interested act.

For a moment I almost turn to leave, sure that no one is awake and that I've simply wasted the gas in the trip over here. But at the loud clunk of the door unlocking, I feel my heart jump and sink simultaneously as Mike peaks his head through the crack in the door, bags under his eyes and hair tossled from sleep.

"Hey," he croaked, blinking away the sleep as his tired face managed a look of surprise.

"Hey," I said softly, trying not to let my voice crack. But it does. "Is this a bad time?"

I don't know what gives my state away. Maybe it's how swollen my face is, puffy and burning from the overexposure to salt water. I can already feel the skin on my eyes balloning in a disastrously unattractive manner. Maybe it's the snot that's still on my face even after trying desperately to wipe it away, my problem being I'd run out of napkins in my car some time ago and hadn't replaced them, so I'd been resorted to just trying my best to sniff back the snot or use the arm of my jacket, which is now soaked and covered by my hand to conceal it, to wipe it away. God, it's fucking sticky and I feel gross. I don't understand why the snot won't just stop fucking flowing.

"Shit, you're bleeding," Mike says. His eyes widen as he steps forward, instantly dragging me into the house, down the hall and into the bathroom.

Oh. That's why my head hurts.

The white light is blinding and overstimulating in the small, disorganized room. One glance in the mirror and I can see the bottom half of my face is grossly smeared in the snot-blood combo running from my nose, my eyes bloodshot and more dry than a British comedy from all of the tears. I stare at myself for a moment, hardly even realizing Mike is yanking my coat off of me, stroking my hair and trying to ask me questions about what happened. I can hear his voice but the words are muffled, and even though my eyes are staring at him now, I don't know when I turned to face him or what I'm really looking at. I'm just staring at anything. My mother used to call it 'staring off into space.' It's actually a disassociation episode. The kind that can make me lose myself in other thoughts, making me distant from reality where I assume the worst of things.

I'm rational enough to know not to lean into him. If I throw myself into his arms I'll smear my shit everywhere and then he'll be grossed out and will have to play nice after I interrupted his sleep to beg for comfort that should come easily enough from my aforementioned mother, but clearly I'm adult enough now that I don't need coddling and I shouldn't have driven here and-

Am I saying this out loud? Because my mouth is moving and I'm trying to say something but I'll be honest, my head is in disarray and Mike looks worried. Me too, buddy. Me too.

My hands try to help his find a wash cloth in his closet, trying to be useful, but they're covered in snot and blood too and it's dried and horrid looking and I just feel like some sticky toddler that's wailing over nothing because that's what I'm doing, and I'm trying not to dissolve into a new wave of tears because my eyes really, really hurt and I'm gonna end up hiccuping and sobbing and I shouldn't even be here right now.

Mike's hands wrap around mine and he's trying to pull me somewhere. But he won't get out of my way, tugging me forward and blocking me like it's some game. Then I realize it's him he's trying to drag me to, and I try to push away, not wanting to get him dirty or let him fulfill some duty of pity just because he feels obligated seeing me in such a state. He's touching my hair and there's snot in that too and this is all just entirely too much, making me burst out sobbing once more as I try to hide my face in my arm, feeling all too vulnerable and alone while in a house that's not mine in any way, shape or form. But his arms feel nice around me, and he's guiding me to the bathtub and helping me lay down inside of it. When he pulls away I'm paranoid for a second that he'll turn the shower head on and wash me like a drunk, especially when he reaches for the shower handles. He presses a clean, white cloth to the spout and let's just a little bit of water out to wet the washcloth before turning the water off and coming closer to me, dabbing and wiping gently at the drying mixture on my face.

There's a long while of silence. Him carefully washing me, his touch gentle and caring as I feel the wet glumps with dried crusts fade away. The pounding in my head begins to dull to an overwhelming ache, making me shut my eyes as I softly groan. When I think he's done I dare peaking at him from under my lashes, trying to read his mind. His brows are furrowed, probably in disgust. Lips pressed together as he sits on the balls of his heels,, watching me carefully. Most likely he'll let me sleep on the couch and then kick me out in the morning. I'll be lucky if I get the "We should see other people" speech. I wouldn't blame him if my calls just couldn't connect when I get home, leaving me to wonder what could've been if I hadn't been so selfish.

I don't even know the time for fucks sake.

"I'm not crazy," I say in this broken voice that only a crazy person would have.

I don't know what's funny, but he's laughing. His hand reaches out to stroke my cheek, and he feels so warm. His callouses have this smooth texture to them. Working hands. It's the first thing I noticed when we held hands the first time. It was at some carnival thing, and Abby was with us. It was sweet under those neon lights. The rides always look so cheap, but there's something enchanting in that. It's what I focus on now as my mind finally begins to relax, allowing me the guilty pleasure of mentally slipping away into an actual memory instead of just static filling my mind and drowning everything else out unpleasantly.

"I know," Mike says softly, his thumb stroking the raw skin under my eye as he watches me with a gentle smile, one probably meant to hide his contempt. "You're okay."

The rides had these giant speakers built into them. And the workers would play songs from them, loud enough it was blaring in your ear on the ride but it was a reasonable volume when you were just walking around on the wet, overgrown and matted grass that curls around the giant cables Mike and I both had to be irritating about reminding Abby not to trip on, both of us looking down to watch for them more than looking at anything else.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Mike asks gently. He's always so gentle. Well, not always.

"Ope, someone lost their drink," I said to Mike, pointing at a spilled lemonade on the dirt path that had been created by decades of the county fair foot-traffic.

"Five second rule," Mike said, his voice low and teasing in my ear, making me burst out laughing.

"That's fucking disgusting!" I exclaimed, looking at him incredulously. A mother passing by snapped 'hey!' At me, tugging her child harshly behind her as she glared. I blushed, covering my mouth with my hand at the outburst, which made Mike laugh just as hard as I just had.

I suppose I have to talk about it. I can't really just not show up at his doorstep in the middle of the night and not just explain myself. But my teeth feel cemented together, my throat full of glue that halts the words I could use to inform him of why I look like this. And my eyes are too tired to make contact with his. So I just melt into his hand, pressing it between my cheek and my shoulder. And he doesn't press any more.

"I always liked the rides that made me feel like I was flying," Mike said as we watched Abby spin round and round with some girl she often spent her days with. Lisa Something.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning to look at him, taking a drink from the giant lemonade that was not at all real lemonade and was instead some horrid sugar that's taking five years off of our lives mixed with whatever makes the color of the drink the same as construction workers glow-in-the-dark vests that I'm sure will have like, ten different studies on how it gives you some cardiovascular disorder from overexposure in twenty years. There's a waxy ring of chapstick around my straw, so it's easy to tell which one to drink from. Mike had gotten just the one giant drink and two straws, shoving them in with a smooth smile as he handed me the already sweaty, Pepsi branded cup to hold while we walked. I think he didn't know that I noticed the twelve year old boy who'd been five people ahead of us in line do the same thing with his date earlier, but it was a cute gesture nonetheless.

"Yeah. I don't know why, it just felt comforting. Wind fuckin' up my hair and shit," he said, hands shoved in his jean pockets as he watched the two girls, who are sticking their tongues out at us as they whirl by.

"What, like you were flying away from your problems?" I ask, genuinely guessing.

"Nah, I don't really think of it like that. Just felt like I was somewhere else for a bit. Could close my eyes and the only anxiety I felt was whether or not Genie there was gonna fucken drop me," he said, glancing at me and smirking as he points at the giant airbrushed painting of Genie from Aladdin on the side of the ride. That's definitely not licensed.

"Have you eaten?" Mike asks softly, coming a little closer to me as his other hand cups my opposite cheek. At that I shake my head, pressing my lips together.

"It was all just some giant fiasco," I said as I laughed while trying to aim my basketball for the hoop several feet in front of me. Mike's made like five goals in a row and is proudly holding a very cheap rainbow dolphin with lopsided eyes for me while he watches me struggle just to get one.

"What, your prom date?" He teased, leaning closer to my ear as I take a shot. And miss. Again. "Or this?"

I turned to him, glaring and trying to suppress my amused smile.

"The date was fine, my hair was horrid," I said, turning away from the man working the booth who was trying to convince me to try again.

"I always like your hair," Mike says softly, one hand stroking my hair as he presses his forehead against mine. God, why won't he just tear into me already? The anticipation is fucking killing me.

I open my mouth to respond, but I just hiccup instead. At that he gently helps me up, guiding me out of the bathroom and leading me into the kitchen where he promises a leftover bowl of chicken noodle soup has my name written all over it in the fridge.

There's a thousand insecure questions I want to ask right now. Does he hate me? Will he hate me? Is this just a prelude to an awful breakup? But instead I just cling to my thoughts quietly, not wanting an answer to anything. Reality fading in and out of focus.

The kitchen is quiet as he moves about, dishing out the leftovers and putting them in the cheap, stained microwave he'd had to buy when Abby blew up the last one with a pitiful attempt at making her own rice Krispy treats. He leans against the counter as we wait for the rattling machine to finish, neither of us really saying anything as my leg bounces wildly in anxiety.

"Are you okay?" Mike asks softly after a moment, tilting his head. His arms are crossed in front of him, which is normal for Mike but it still makes me on edge.

I try again to speak, but I can't. It feels like I'll just blow up again if I do. So I just shrug instead, not wanting to talk about the lengthy screaming match I'd managed to find myself in earlier that night.

The microwave beeps loudly, causing us both to start, Mike pulling the door open quickly to shut it up and take out the now hot bowl, hissing under his breath at himself for not grabbing a towel as he quickly moves to set it down in front of me. If I'd been in a better state I would've laughed at the admittedly comical sight, but I felt like I'd done enough at his expense for one night.

Once situated, there's long while of silence. No other noise except for my spoon clinking against my bowl as I eat quietly, Mike watching me across the glass table as he takes a few drinks from his clear glass of water, head on his large hand. A clock ticks in the other room, the hour later than I'd wanted to be when I showed up unannounced.

"I'm sorry," I finally say in a soft voice, my spoon scraping soundlessly against the maroon bowl. "I just didn't know where else to go."

He smiles softly at that, his hand reaching across the table for mine. The touch meant to be comforting instead sends me back into my thoughts, my body stiffening as my mind tries to distract me from my anxiety and doubt.

Our hands had been brushing against each other for hours as we'd walked. Both of us were too nervous to take the others, which is a bit silly since we were grown adults. But really we hadn't had any serious discussions yet. We were still in the dinners and texting phase, dancing around any serious 'what is this' talks until we felt like we would both have similar answers ready for any questions. The night had settled in solidly now, the fairgrounds only alive by the bright lights of the rides.

The grazing, however, had come to an end when the ferris wheel started clicking towards what felt like my untimely demise.

I fucking hate ferris wheels, fun fact.

I don't think Mike particularly likes them either, based off of how stiff his body was next to mine, his eyes trained dead ahead, his jaw clenched. I think he might break a tooth. Or maybe I'm projecting.

Abby and Lisa had been insistent on riding it, and had been even more insistent that Mike and I needed to ride something with them before the night was over. And even though we both looked at the thing with a pit in our stomach, neither of us felt ridiculous about being grown adults on that ride as opposed to all the others flooded with teens and kids dodging in and out, stomping in puddles of who knows what on their way to the next ride. So we gritted our teeth, handed over our tickets and got into the cart right behind Abby and Lisa, who wouldn't stop looking back at us with amused eyes, whispering into each other's each as they covered their mouths.

"My dad worked as a carnie," I blurted out as we hung mid air, halfway up the ride while they still loaded people in. "These things are fucken sturdy."

Mike didn't look at me. Or at least he didn't turn his head. I didn't either. His silence makes my anxiety a bit worse, wondering if my random fact had somehow irritated him, or if there was something I was supposed to do that I wasn't picking up on.

"... I'm gonna die to Creed," he finally said between his gritted teeth.

My brows furrow for a moment before I realize what song is playing, and then I'm laughing. Maybe a little too much, but that's the anxiety. Abby and Lisa are darting their heads around to look down at us, trying to see what's set me off, and Creed's taking One Last Breath on the blaring radio somewhere around us as they have been for the past however many months with the top song.

"I'm never gonna escape this, they play this way too much at work," I laughed. And he started laughing too, both of us white knuckled as we gripped the bar in front of us. Then we move up again, and the cart is slightly rocking, making me feel ill.

"That's okay," Mike says softly, his thumb trailing across my knuckles as I stare down at our hands. "I was missing you, anyways."

I look up at him, trying to read his expression, my head still trying to balance my focuses. There's concern in his eyes, obvious as he realizes how awful this particular episode is.

Abby is yelling something at us, but my head is buzzing with too much anxiety to hear her.

"Go away!" Mike yells back at her, waving his hand in irritation, then stopping as he realizes he's rocking the cart. He looked back at me anxiously, trying to smile. It just looked like he'd been shot instead. "Sisters," he said shyly.

"What's she saying?" I asked him, leaning closer to hear him better over the heavy guitar.

"Nothing," he insisted. "She's just being twelve."

I go to look up, only to feel his hand on top of mine, warm and strong as he grips it a little too hard for the first time, but I think that's out of anxiety too. No matter what, the first move makes me more dizzy.

"Your dad worked fairs?" He asked anxiously, obviously trying to change the subject.

"I should've called first," I say softly, leaning onto the table and pushing the empty bowl away from me as I lay on top of my arm.

"It's okay," he reminds me in a soft voice, rising from his chair while still holding my hand. "You're home now."

"Well, I'm at your home now," I hiccup into my arm. His arms wrap around me, guiding me up and into his warm embrace that I'd been longing for for what felt like hours.

"I thought you said you liked flying!" I laughed, terrified.

"Flying! This is sitting still while dangling above death!" Mike clarified. The carts began clicking again, and we now had an easier view of the two girls in front of us, making him gasp and yell out Abby's full name in scolding.

I see why he didn't want me to look up. Abby and Lisa are miming a make-out session while they giggle obnoxiously.

"Oh my God, I'm gonna fucking ground her," he groaned, covering his forehead with his other hand. His face is completely red, his body so stiff it feels like I could break off his arm with barely any pressure, and my own heart is slamming so hard against my chest I think it's visible.

One more click and we'll be at the top. Great.

He's looking down at me, I think he's trying to get me to refocus but I just can't. I've done my duties for the night, and now I'm stuck in this emotional pit of hatred and numbness as my mind tries to remind me of a better time that just makes me feel worse because Mike is speaking again and I just can't hear him.

"She's being a wingman. Really, she's just spotting a good opportunity," I rambled in Abby's defense. Mike glanced at me, then at the tweens in front of us.

"Yeah?" He asked, his voice nerve wracked.

"Oh yeah. Every little sister does it. I mean, it's partially based in torture, but overall she's trying to help," I said quickly, my breath shortening.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking just as pale as me.

"I fucking hate heights, please distract me," I pleaded quickly, only to immediately feel his teeth click loudly against mine as he kissed me, his lips sweet with sugar and hands nearly breaking mine from his tight grip, Abby and Lisa whooping obnoxiously in front of us as we freeze in the moment. It's clumsy, certainly. And it's obvious on both ends how long it's been since either of us have done this. But it's an effective method, my mind beginning to refocus on the taste of the borderline awful lemonade fresh on his breath, his shaking hand moving from the bar to cup my cheek cold from the wind. My eyes widen in surprise, the music swelling around us and the lights somehow brighter as we rock above the rest of the fair in the squeaking booth.

When he pulls away, there's a soft smile on his face, his tongue quickly darting out to taste his own lips.

"... I like your chapstick," he said shyly, neither of us focused on the fact that we're now moving steadily in the ride, fully tuned in to the other.

"Thanks," I said softly, cheeks burning against his touch. "Strawberry."

There's a long second of nothing, and I'm vaguely aware of Abby and Lisa screaming "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" And someone is trying to shush them. I know it's not Mike because he's staring at me like an idiot. Completely satisfied and dramatically more calm as he leans in for another kiss, this time pulling me fully into his embrace.

"You're home," Mike repeats against my lips, then moving to trail along my cheeks, his hands carefully cupping my face once more as his touch grounds me back in reality. "I'll be here when your mind gets back."

As my own hands graze along his soft, cotton shirt, I feel my pulse begin to relax. Doubt beginning to creep away as his lips trail along my jaw, slowly working to my neck. It's not a demanding touch. It's just comfort. And he'll keep doing this until I return to him like I always do, and then he'll keep doing it until we both fall asleep in a tight embrace under a dozen blankets, half of which will be gone by morning as we wake in a pool of sweat across the bed from each other, only to seek the other out again in wakefulness. And there will be answers for his questions, and I'll be fine.

I'm home now.

¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

I FINALLY FUCKING PUBLISHED SOMETHING. HOLY FUCK I'M OVERWORKED. (Fun fact, this was fucking hard because I was actively disassociating while writing the whole thing. Reader just like me frfr)

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@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool. Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

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#josh hutcherson fanfic #josh hutcherson #jhutch #mike schmidt #mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt fnaf #jhutch1992 #fnaf mike schmidt #fnaf mike #mike schmidt fluff #mike schmidt imagine #mike schmidt x reader smut #mike schmidt x you

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