#zzz ... cici's rambles

[wonder2realities]

as someone who came into the manifestation / LOA space like before the void state and neville goddard was even talked abt - its rlly interesting to see how much ppl focus or try to act as if the void state is the only way to manifest

cuz like i found out abt the void state like 2 years ago through shifting, but prior to that everything ive manifested has always been super simple i mean currently im literally living my dream life in so many ways possible (i can go into heavy detail in another post lolz) and it was never through the void state or through me reading pages of neville goddard and theories and shit and this isnt me saying theres anything wrong with that its just interesting how no matter how much time passes and different trends with the community continue there's always this need to "logicise" and almost profit off of manifestation

for example i remember ppl would pay money for someone to write affirmations for them (idk if ppl still do this) or people would pay to get tips, i rmbr ppl paying money for OTHER PEOPLE to go into the void state in like 2022 so that they can manifest for you etc — that alongside the concept of manifestation coaches and influencers and its so...tacky

and the same thing goes for submakers, as someone whos had a lot and i mean A LOT of shitty experiences with larger submakers (cons of being a blk autistic ; not a lot of ppl want u to exist happily...if i had a penny for everytime someone asked me to manifest my autism away id be scrooge mcduck) — a lot of them also fall into this category of turning manifestation or LOA into this profitable business and its sad honestly

something that is free, where you dont need anything is being turned into something that is behind a paywall - its almost sinister honestly and rlly makes me feel bad for any younger ppl (like 10-15) who are getting into manifestation or interested in it because u basically have ppl being like "YOU CAN ONLY GET UR DESIRES IN THIS ONE WAY. IF YOU WANT, I CAN DO IT FOR YOU BUT YOU NEED TO PAY ME TONS OF MONEY!!!" - it almost gives a subconscious message that they cant do it on their own which goes against the whole point of manifestation and it just sucks ass

idk maybe im like a commie in the manifestation society #downwiththesocialhierarchy but it rlly irks me and i dont like it and again maybe its cuz i dealt with a lot of bullshit before the LOA community became more...minority friendly and that shit TRAUMATISED ME but like idk i just dont fw it yk

u can do wtv u want in wtv way u want for free, u cant buy a consciousness so you dont need to waste money on shit (obviously if u wanna support a submaker or someone thats perfectly fine but you dont HAVE to)

[wonder2realities]

i never understand why yearly theres just this weird urge for youtubers to shit on shifters and usually it all stems from "look! white teenage girls are the face of it!!!! FUNNY!!" and its just annoying and stupid

you can believe shifting isnt real but as someone whos gone through psychosis before (not schizophrenia, it was stress-induced) — the idea that shifting is somehow schizophrenia or some form of psychosis is so insanely damaging and i havent watched the video(...protecting my peace) but have a feeling the comments will just be people saying "PSYCHOSIS!!!" and its very annoying

believing in something niche, like a theory does not make you someone going through psychosis...there is a difference between a delusion and a strong belief - with that logic, any alien believer or/and flatearther is someone whos under psychosis when in reality whether you think theyre right or wrong or stupid or not — its belief based. yeah, there could be ppl in those communities going through psychosis but that could be said about literally any belief...ever.

shifting is a theory-based belief, as in it has multiple different theories about how it works or where its from or what happens etc - it will never be "proven" or "real" because its not factbased and will probably never be factbased just like any spiritual or religious concept.

does that mean its fake? no, that just means its nothing but theories & experiences...which is fine and not an uncommon thing. its so stupid how people turn this into like a ITS PSYCHOSIS BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE IN IT thing and half of the time they dont even have a proper understanding of shifting in the first place...so yall just look stupid

like real talk, it aint that deep for there to be consistent commentary videos like are we not tired shifttok is literally dead so like where do we go from here...for all that i know, i could have been lucid dreaming constantly (even when my friend shifted to a reality we were going to together and literally saw my room which i never shared the script for and labeled everything word for word...but yk...coincidences i guess...?) but like even then...who is that hurting

like youre not on the floor dying over me "lucid dreaming" that im in monster high, youre not gonna die. its just this weird superiority complex of two things

a - FUCK TEENAGE GIRLS IF THEYRE THE MAIN DEMOGRAPHIC OF ANYTHING...WE HATE IT‼️‼️‼️

&

b - IF YOUR BELIEFS DONT MAKE SENSE TO ME THATS PSYCHOSIS (said by someone who does not understand what psychosis, schizophrenia OR delusions are and the same person who would make "i am in your walls" jokes...)

its just really corny i dont get it i will never get it

oh dear god

[wonder2realities]

was contemplating whether to finally start shifting again after this semi-long spiritual break since i'm feeling a bit fearful (there's been too many changes in my life recently + the awakening situation warped my mind a bit — i'm scared cuz this ain't the mindset and vibe that i've been used to for years 😭) and as soon as i open tiktok to doomscroll this is the first thing i see

not one to talk about or look for signs but i fear this may be a sign

[wonder2realities]

promise ill start making more shifting blog posts but i've been focusing on actually shifting 😭😭😭 sadly shit keeps being thrown at me left n right BUT ive been organising my scripts well so trust when i actually got time to focus properly WE ARE THERE

[wonder2realities]

recently ive felt so like in connection with my dr even though i havent been on my shifting grind in a while (life has been wonderful here icl) like why am i gettin butterflies when thinkin abt my s/o

no joke its like amazing i cant even like put it into words just MY MANANANANFOWNCPENCORNGORN

[wonder2realities]

i end up censoring my words 😭😭😭 ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MY S/O LIKE IDK I JUST CANT WRITE IT UP AND THE FUNNIEST THING IS I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THE CENSORS MEAN LIKE I CANT REMEMBER ANY OF THIS SO IDEK WHAT THE CENSORS ARE FOR

any of y'all get so embarrassed scripting 💔💔

[wonder2realities]

been in my head for the past week deconstructing a lot of shit - it's very weird i feel like i'm finally opening my eyes to this reality and also realising that the only reason why i shift so shortly (i've never shifted for a full day before) despite wanting to is because i somehow...romantise this reality and look at it through tinted glasses just because of a solid...5 people who i enjoy being around but after talking to some friends i've sorted snapped back into reality where i've clocked how this reality is only holding me back which is why even when i go the whole way and shift - i still come back here so soon (even when i dont really want to because i feel like i have to...as if i owe this reality and the people here as if i have to be here and "suffer" because id feel bad if i shifted permanently)

in a way its not exactly a blockage just more of a hard pill to swallow that i've been subconsciously avoiding but i'm workin through it — fear i might permashift really soon like i've finally woke up and got the motivation, the resources and just the heart to move on from this reality...in a way i feel like i've almost overstayed

but thats besides the point, i'm not even planning where or which reality i'm going to — this is just me going wherever my gut feels like going in the moment so thst i can finally cut off the toxic ties here and live freely

[wonder2realities]

deleted twt n im goin on a bit of a mental detox cuz i feel like i keep gettin small triggers that throw me into the same cycle that turns into very...limited thinking which i do NOT like 😭 so prepare for a lot of rambling and activeness (also can ppl pls send me stuff in my inbox IM BORED)

[wonder2realities]

went thru a silly little spiritual awakening

ive clocked many things

wont post for a bit but when i do prepare for lengthy posts cuz oh em gee

mindset completely flipped i feel reborn

[wonder2realities]

just came up with an amazing own group idea trust imma be scriptin like a MAD MAN ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[wonder2realities]

reading tumblr s/o drabbles and applying it to my s/o is so much fun like why am i giggling and kicking my feet rn

[wonder2realities]

. . . cici 2004 any prns kpop shifter loassumption blk african . . .

dni if u listen to / support slade (submaker)

asks/anons r ok ～ has shifted/manifested b4 , semiactive

shifting since '20 , manifesting since '14

WE DRAW THE NEW LINE ! enha, bonedo, illit,

dark moon, own grp

[wonder2realities]

i either give them like a number or use a nickname since i have so many drs with similar concepts (i have like 5 university drs, 3 spy drs, like 5 that are based in the dark moon universe) 😭😭😭

do y’all give your realities lil names or no… like i always name mine after songs that match the vibe and it makes scripting easier and i feel more connected to them 🤍🤍

[wonder2realities]

been ia all week cuz i been BUSY but guess whos redoing their bonedo script 🙏🏽

[wonder2realities]

anyways.

this fit is so giving magical girl what if i make it my magical girl suit LIKE DO U SEE THE VISION CUZ I SEE IT like i dont have a magical girl script but i do have like a little mental idea of what id want (yes its like a carbon copy of precure...WHAT CAN I SAY I LOVE PRECURE)

[wonder2realities]

You never mentioned you were disabled in your original reply to that ask. It’s also not on your pinned post. How in the world were they supposed to know that the response came from a disabled person? And before you say you’ve mentioned it on your blog before (which I have no idea if you have or not) how do you know they would have seen it? They most likely found your response through the notes on the ask post. And just FYI, you can educate someone without calling them “icky” or degrading them in any manner. They asked if the way they thought was bad, you could have said yes and explained why instead of calling them icky and assuming they would know your disabled. At the end of the day it’s just a damn opinion on the matter. Opinion is not fact just because it came from someone in the group in question.

so much to unpack this is insane im losing my mind this is gonna be a long ass response

op was geniune, i gave my opinion saying its a bit icky - thats not degrading??? i never called them an ableist, never said they were an awful person, i said in my opinion i think its icky - i didnt even direct it towards the person. i never said "youre an awful person for doing that." - i literally said "its moreso the fact that scripting out disabilities is icky"...

please point to the degrading. point to the meanness and evilness, the harshness...point to it. unless the person who originally made the ask to that confessions acc wants to come into my dms or my inbox and say they were personally offended, i really dont see how it could be degrading. maybe its the alexithymia but i dont see it, i dont get it.

ive talked abt being disabled on this blog frequently, literally i make a blog at least once a week talking abt being autistic : even if they were unable to find that out and assumed i was not disabled then they can simply take my opinion as something else i wouldnt care as much about that however i literally MENTIONED THAT YOU CAN SEARCH UP AND ASK DISABLED PEOPLE AND LOOK INTO SIMILAR DISCOURSE because then youd be able to see it from different perspectives as the term disabled is a large umbrella term. so i not only said my opinion as a disabled person who has frequently talked abt being autistic and has literally made blogs talking abt keeping my disabilities in my drs but i also gave advice on where to find other perspectives that will go more into detail of why disabled people dont feel comfortable with the whole "heal everyone!! we're gonna heal all disabilities to save them!!" mindset.

you have no right to say whether an opinion is a "fact" or not when your opinion on the topic is automatically invalid because you arent disabled - dont try to pull that shit on me when you know for a fact that being disabled means that id have more of an understanding on the social aspect of what its like to be disabled...because i experience it and i wont let any ablebodied person or any neurotypical person try to speak over me on that. also, ive mentioned im autistic AND have physical disabilities multiple times on here - even if its not mentioned in my original post i quite literally said if youre confused you can look into discourse regarding the whole "disabled people cant be in fantasy because fantasy = utopia which = everyone being healthy" thing because there are disabled people who have talked abt this multiple times and in my eyes there are similarities to that and the idea of scripting out disabled people because they have similar reasons.

also if youre who i think you are aka the person who deactivated the second i responded : if youre able to go that far into my blog to find a post where i said i was gonna go on a social media detox - you wouldve been able to find a post on me talking abt being autistic because i literally made a post a FEW DAYS AGO talking abt being a blk autistic.

^ incase u dont believe me for whatever reason, this was literally 2 days ago.

also im not an educator never claimed to eductae the person i gave an opinion - it is not my job to educate people. you are twisting a small paragraph of me saying "scripting out disabilities is a bit icky" into me being this harsh and awful person because i...didnt write an essay educating the person when i never claimed to educate them in the first place????

and again, i never attacked op the only person i attacked (which could be u if ure that account but im too lazy to do the whole "finding out whos behind the anon ask" thing) was the person who randomly responded to me, went through my entire blog to find a post of me saying i deleted twt for a social media detox and painted it as if im this limited person who "doesnt believe shifting is limitless and has a bad mindset" (which is insane???)

so to conclude this

speaking over disabled people where someone is asking disabled people for their opinion is weird. dont come into my inbox with this weird shit, unless its an apology because this is slowly creeping into ableism territory (before u even try to argue that its not - downplaying a disabled persons opinion on a topic that revolves around being disabled and speaking over them to then try to disregard their opinion being going "just because youre apart of a group doesnt mean your opinion is a fact" is insane. that is insane. call me crazy, idc thats insane.)