#zzapzzap headcanon

[suffcring]

I just wanna tell the newer followers from the MCU fandom that I have been writing Darcy since 2012 -- originally on zapzaptasers, then zzapzzap, then zzapzzaptasers

she is literally almost not even the canon character anymore. I had a 616 AU for her years before she finally was introduced in Scarlet Witch.

I actively read comics from 2008-2015, and haven't really picked up much since, besides Wanda's current run. I gave away almost all of my single issues (five long boxes) to my friend's 17 year old son, with the exception of the full run of Hellblazer, Lobo and Lobo's Back, and Kaine's Scarlet Spider run. I wrote Kaine twice before, once with some success in 2013 where I got a shit ton of anon hate for not remembering every minute detail of a character who appeared off and on for twenty years, so now he's my own headcanon based version tied into a friend's AU MCU Peter (where Peter is suitably older ala 616 and not a child). What's the difference between my Kaine and canon 616 Kaine? Almost nothing. I just wanted to avoid criticism for not getting everything perfectly right.

I stopped watching every MCU thing that came out about two years ago when I was pissed about how Doc Strange 2 went about undoing Wandavision and I realized the tv shows are never going to matter to the larger storyline, which is a mess to begin with-- honestly, I've been frustrated with a lot of MCU for a long while, but that was really my last straw. Since then, I've only seen season 1 of Loki (and hated it), Antman3 (meh), Thor 4 (a masterpiece imo), both seasons of What If (also masterpieces), Black Panther 2 (I weeped) and most of Ms Marvel (but not The Marvels)

All this to say, I've been writing Darcy in weird crossovers or with my friends ocs almost exclusively for years and I've written Kaine almost not at all (Tagg wasn't joking when they said he appears less than Plushia). Marvel itself leaves something of a bad taste in my mouth these days, and I am continually frustrated by being followed by Marvel canons just to be ignored in favor of my buddy's Pietro.

I am largely a Ghost rp blog. That is just a fact.

BUT -- if you're interested in writing with Darcy or Kaine, even knowing all of this, you're welcome here! I am a plot-forward rp partner, come chat with me :)

Darcy is very headcanon based with an invisible mutation, and I'd love to chat about what we can do.

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

[ 🔥🔥🔥 ]

OH SHIT HERE COMES THE NASTIES

1) Darcy and Pete are super food-orientated and I wonder how many times Darcy has to be like “no, we gotta wait thirty minutes or we’ll cramp” after eating before the fuckage.

2) Darcy’s an ass man. This isn’t new information and I’ve discussed it a lot before, but it’s a big deal and deserves being brought up multiple times. On men and women and nonbinary’s, she’s there for the ass. When in a relationship or when given consent, she will touch the booty often – as discreetly as she can in public, of course.

3) Darcy absolutely has a few playlists for sexual activities (whether with someone else or on her own).They’re all Now That’s What I Call FuckJams and are numbered from 1 to 14

[zzapzzaptasersarchive]

character flaws & strengths ↳   bold what applies to your muse !! ↳   repost !! don’t reblog !! {Tagged by @theringisntthehero}

╳   flaws

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable |  whiny controlling  | conceited  | possessive |  paranoid  | lies impatient |  cowardly  | bitter |  selfish  |  power - hungry greedy |  lazy  | judgmental  |  forgetful  | impulsive spiteful |  stubborn |  sadistic  | petty  |  unlucky

♔   strengths

honest | trustworthy  | thoughtful  |  caring  | brave patient |  selfless | ambitious  |  tolerant |  lucky intelligent  |  confident  | focused  |  humble  |  generous merciful  |  observant |  wise  |  clever |  charming cheerful  | optimistic | decisive | adaptive |  calm

tagging: Whoever wants to do it!

[zzapzzaptasers]

meme: 🔞

Send 🔞 for a NSFW headcanon.

hi it's probably a little problematic (but Darcy is a lil problematic/I've always called her a fratboy/fuccboi in a woman's body) but Darcy's male partners??? making out with other men???? touching other men????

but coming home with her????

voyeurism to the extreme friendos

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

🔥🔥🔥 give me THREE im greedy

A SPICY MEATBALL

1) HONESTLY just let Darcy think she’s in control even when she’s being submissive. She luvs that shit. 2) Roleplaying? Going into a bar pretending to be strangers hooking up? Coming up with ridiculous scenarios?She loves that shit, too.3) Maybe a subcategory of that weird roleplaying shit, but Darcy loves being dressed up. Whether it’s costume-y like on Halloween or for a special event, clothes can really set a mood for Darcy.

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

💑+ When did Darcy get glasses? Did she tell you she couldn't see, or did you have to figure it out?

Send “💑+ Question” and both of my Muse’s parents will answer.

“Back in the day, public schools used to test vision and hearing and also check for scoliosis, and I think it was fourth grade? That she failed the sight test.”

“Miserably.” Ben adds in with a laugh. “I’m surprised she was functioning on a day to day basis with vision that terrible.”

“Right, so she failed but she wouldn’t tell us because she didn’t want glasses. I don’t think it was because she was nervous of being made fun of, but I think she thought she wouldn’t be allowed to do things with glasses.” Ben snorts through Beth’s explanation, before chiming in again.

“She threw the results out. We only found out two months later because her teacher bumped into me on a teacher training day and asked why we hadn’t brought Darcy into get her eyes officially checked.”

“I was mortified. Grounded her for two weeks.”

“I, uh, thought it was hilarious. Teased the shit out of her for it for years, but now she’d rather wear her glasses than her contacts. Guess it’s ‘cause they’re trendy and hip now.”

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

😈 What’s the evilest thing you’ve ever done?👻 If you died, who would you haunt first? (was gonna send one but i really liked the one below it too)

Send me a symbol!

“I flooded Hill’s office with coffee like three days ago and then told her I didn’t do it. Is that evil? I dunno. I’m not, like, an evil person, I don’t wanna think. But, then again...nobody wants to think they’re evil so...?

But holy shit I would haunt the hell out of Coulson. He’d be drifting off to sleep and Britney’s Toxic would start playing. Like...every time he fell asleep. He’d unplug his radio and it would still happen.I’ll watch shows on Netflix when he’s not home and he’ll be like whaaaat I didn’t get that far into Grey’s Anatomy. All of his coffee would be drunk. I would be the little gnome who steals just one of his socks out of the dryer. It would be hella fun.”

(( shiiiiiit it’s hard to explain thru text but one time a lady was angry at me for driving the speed limit in busy traffic and tried to pass me in basically a turn lane and I sped up so she was stuck there until traffic abated because I’m petty.

As for who I’d haunt...I would say but it’s political and I don’t really wanna talk about real life politics on my tumblr blahg. If u wanna know you can always text me tho and I’ll give you my plans :P ))

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

Darcy stop laughing during sexual encounters challenge

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Darcy and sympathies for certain antagonists and villains--

As discussed before, Darcy is anti-military and anti-capitalist. It’s not a huuuuge part of her personality, like, say pacifism, but they are idealisms she upholds.

in this manner, Darcy is sympathetic towards the Flag Smashers up until they begin killing people outside of self defense. 

Darcy is also sympathetic towards MCU Zemo, but feels it’s outright diabolical and downright wrong to 1) take Bucky’s free will away 2) kill a lot of innocent people, including the king of a foreign country

Darcy has, in the past on this blog, been friendly and sympathetic, even loyal to a Doctor Doom. In some ways, I write her incredibly easy to manipulate by villains; simply instilling in her a sense of importance/value with them while also playing on her criticisms of the US and imperialism, her idealisms of equality and justice, can win her loyalty and Darcy is, above all else, loyal

The only exception to violence is Magneto -- Darcy doesn’t even know she’s a mutant, but she’s only ever stanned, frankly, and I’m not even sure she wouldn’t be a part of the Brotherhood if she knew she was a mutant. There’s a lot to unpack there, and it pulls a lot, for her, on shared Jewish trauma, but Darcy is and always has been hashtag magneto was right

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

Hi I wrote something in a disco rp with my friend’s 616 Pietro and it’s uhhh super important for Darcy re; her blatant and gross sexualization of men thanks

Has Darcy ever considered Pietro? Well, of course. She hates him, but even she can appreciate the unique angles of his face, the soft fall of silver hair, the fullness of his lower lip. And, as for hips? Darcy one true weakness in a man or woman or otherwise?

Pietro might as well have created the iliac furrow, colloquially referred to as the runner’s v.

Still, this spoke less of Pietro and more of Darcy’s tendency to sexualize any adult masculine being, a product of the unwanted attention she had attracted since she’d started growing tits in the fifth grade. It had begun as a defense mechanism, see, they can’t sexualize you if you analyze everything sexual about them first, take away their personhood and dispense them into two tidy piles of *would fuck* and *would not fuck*

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

RD.R2 verse update

Like the tiniest one:

Previously I’ve had Darcy with a Florida cracker but I’m changing it to a Frie.sian because the idea of her with a giant horse KILLS ME and look at this boy

I don’t think it’s really common for westerns but Darcy bought her horse in the north with GOOD MONEY and this is pretendy fun times and I can do what I want lol

His name is still Lord Lemon

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

@tragedyloved

ben what does that mean. explain. what do you mean darcy's mutation EATS HER

So, as I’m sure you know, but maybe others newer to my blog don’t know--

My Darcy has a passive mutation we’ve been calling an energy battery mutation, where she unconsciously and unknowingly stores excess energy and magic she comes into contact with, like wisps of the aether when it possessed Jane in Thor 2 and whatever Asgardian magic she’s come into contact with via Thor and the gang. In rp, across this blog, this has also meant a Doom’s magic and demonic energy from CJ’s now-defunct Bl.ackhe/art blog, as well as just like...a bunch of others.

Well, what happens when a battery overcharges? Well, it depends on the battery. Lead acid batteries boil away, car batteries can burst, etc.

If Darcy is “overcharged”, she starts to get sick. It seems, at first, like a normal cold or flu, but can grow worse overtime if the energy isn’t siphoned away, up to cancer-like results and eventually death.

This is avoided pretty well in the verses with Seras’s muses because Cabal’s necromancy pulls from Darcy’s reserves and her dead/undead characters (like Frank and even Horst) pull power and strength from her, like Frank becoming more solid and physical when he “emptied” her that one time. In the verse with Koji’s muses, Vasily has purposefully been filling Darcy to the brim in order to have his brother, Vitaly, use his own power to empty her and then refill her like a harvest.

She is completely unaware of this ability in all verses except with Koji, and even then she doesn’t exactly understand what it is except that there’s something weird about it.

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

OH i have a hc question for darcy actually: out of all the towns/cities in yeehaw game, which ones would be her favourites and least favourites respectively? like arthur and dutch both fuckin HATE saint denis, for example. actually also also tell me about general areas of the game that she (or you!!!!) just Liked(TM). tell me things. i love you.

Darcy also doesn’t like Saint Denis, but not for the same reasons as Arthur and Dutch -- it is too alike and yet too unlike the city she grew up in. Walking through it’s streets leaves her on edge; she feels like she could turn a corner and bump into someone she knew as a child, or as if she might see the tea parlour -- but those things and people are never there. Also, like, fuck how muggy that weather is. I also hated Saint Denis because 1) the fucking light source in that part of the game is just whack I don’t need that much fucking sun burst, and it’s even worse if there’s fog present  2) I hate how it’s pronounced vs how it should be read like ughhhhh I know that’s how it’s supposed to be said but like fuck the french amirite 3) it’s supposed to be New Orleans but like....eh

She just generally doesn’t like Lemoyne and it’s muggy, nasty swamp atmosphere at all.

Darcy does like the scenery in New Hanover, so long as she stays outside of Annesburg and Valentine. She also really liked Blackwater and the surrounding area, and I think she was heartbroken when they were all run out of there after The Job (she knows they can’t stay forever, no matter where they are, but she was really hoping that one would stick longer than it did)

I was personally just so blown away by how pretty the game was, outside of Saint Denis, that I loved when traveling via horse took too long and you could go into cinematics. Just-- such a pretty game uwu

n’I love you too!

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

i have an important darcy question and it is: what would her most common usernames on social media/other websites etc be

Nowadays, it’s mostly just dlewis or datlewis, but when she was younger she probably used notthatardently as a fuck you to Austen and people asking if she was a Pride and Prejudice fan or if her parents were (ie Mister Darcy’s “I love you...most ardently” line)

A lot of people would expect a taser or iPod reference but tbh while we think of these as defining moments for Darcy, I don’t think SHE thinks of them as part of her personality. Maybe music as a whole but I don’t think iPods specifically.

Darcy is fairly popular on Tiktok, and was mildly famous on Vine before its death. She keeps an active Twitter but has mostly abandoned Facebook and Tumblr, and she has a private Instagram

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

Yeehaw Darcy will fight with her fists if she has to-- she doesn’t have the privilege of safety other versions of Darcy has to be a pacifist or wait to be taught by a giant alien. She also carries a tiny little pocket knife she’s not wholly afraid to brandish on someone threatening her; it’s just her rifle she’s scared of, and killing someone on purpose that she refuses/avoids.

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

🍑 -because of fluids

Listen I know that this is bad and no good but

We both know they’re into asphyxiation, HOWEVER— they dont do it the safe bdsm kink way, where you squeeze the side of the neck to simulate choking, but they actually legitimately CHOKE eachother.

Not too much and not too tightly, but they definitely don’t do it safely like they should