#zubatanswers

[spellshite]

Do you have any cursed borderlands headcanons?

Cursed Borderlands Headcanons? Hm... It won't be easy to beat your borderlands headcanons like the one where you say that the Rakk Hive skin makes wet squishy noises and probs sticks to your skin (honestly I never stepped on one and I'm not sure if I want to boot up BL1 to go kill the Rakk Hive to verify this to hear the squelch of that)...or how everyone that has benn on Pandora most probably has been a cannibal and not knowing that. but lemme think of something!

Hmm...

> I don't know if it's cursed, I said it the other day (???) in the discord server, but I'll post it here because feels cursed enough: Threshers' meat is kind of chewy and rubbery like squids or octopuses and even with lots of cooking you'll wonder if it was better to chew on a piece of an outrunner's tire instead of that. But usually it's the big Threshers that can be like munching on rubber than the smaller ones. Their meat taste like...like eating earthworms. Dirt aftertaste included. That's why you have to season well your meat: Skag meat tastes bad in general and Threshers taste like rubbery dirt. But - hey - it's food! And it has proteins! Of course, slagged Threshers aren't edible...unless you want a one-way ticket to eridium poisoning station!

> More cursed: "the moon does not exists" conspiracy theory that thanks to Lilith in BL3 has become real.

> On this note: "Skags are Smooth" is a recurring meme on Pandora

> Probably not cursed but still an headcanon: Skags are a hyena-like creature and not a dog-like creature. but we already agree on this lol

> But also...Skags have long tongues iirc. I wonder if it's like sun bears that simply have a weirdly anteater-like long tongue...or more like in the pangolin's case where the end of their tongue is attached to the end of their sternum.

> Also, in some art I noticed that they are drawn with "holes" on their sides. Probably that's how they breathe, since their head is literally all mouth and teeth with two eyes.

> Even more cursed: that side mission in Bounty of Blood where you have to lure a Saurian (a Tyrant iirc) to the milking area. It's not an headcanon, but I honestly do not want to know how that works. Only the thought of saurian milk is cursed enough. Just think about it: milk from a reptile. w h a t t h e h e c c

> Oh! The cursed meat rains we talked about! I'm onboard with that headcanon about Trashfeeder-Wings regurgitating what they ate when startled into flying... causing a disgusting rain that will reduce anyone and anything that get caught into it in a stinking gorey thing. Only the psychos love meat rains. And Skags. Better never get caught in a meat rain if you're near a Skag den!

> I don't know if it's cursed but I can't stop thinking about how the fleshy parts of the Schythids could be gooey and mushy like irl slugs or snails. Stepping on one of them feels like you're stepping on a slug barefooted.

> Not cursed but-... sorry BL3 but I hate your Guardians. I'll die on the hill where Eridian Guardians looks like creepy aliens that screams like banshees and with vaguely and eerily humanoid-like faces. I found them unsettling enough, but then they transformed them into Destiny2 enemies <___<"

> and I can't really think of anything cursed enough :( but thank you for sending an ask Krys! :DD

[spellshite]

Top five books/book series.

OH BOY [rubs hands] Another difficult one!

1) the series of "The Hitchhiker Guide To The Galaxy" by Douglas Adams

2) "The Strange Case of Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde" by R. L. Stevenson

3) "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman

4) Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien

5) I have to mention the "Darren Shan" saga and the "Demonata" saga by Darren Shan because as a kid/early teen I loved them SO much!

[spellshite]

do you have any aspec headcanons for some borderlands characters? :)

Oh! Aspec borderlands headcanons... as dude in the aspec, I should have some, but probably I never put too much thought into that tbh.

I don't remember if it's canon or a very common headcanon, but I'm one of those that like the idea of Maya being asexual or demisexual. She gives off the vibe of someone that doesn't care about that part of a relationship and is fine with other types of intimacy with her partner.

FL4K gives me off the vibe of an aromantic or maybe more in the gray area. Not because they are a robot or whatever, but more because maybe they don't really understand the uh- workings of the heart? Honestly, I am an aromantic and I have no idea how to explain what I'm trying to say...but maybe because in my case it's a different flavour of aro? Not sure. But surely me and FL4K understand better animals than people.

anyway, continuing...

Zer0...dunno, they are in a big gray area like their whole cyber-ninja suit. Brain doesn't have enough data to compute an headcanon but felt worth mentioning.

Ava is another character that I feel like could be in the ace/demi area. But maybe it could be that she's young and still could have no interest and whatsoever.

Tyreen could be aromantic with a "i-have-to-be-ace-cuz-i-leech-life-out-of-people" twist. Dunno, she doesn't look like a gal that could be interested in anything romantic. But also she and her brother where written shittily so who knows? Going off vibes, tbh.

While I feel like her brother Troy would be the "i-don't-want-to-catch-feelings" kind of dude, so not really aro but tries hard.

I was going to add Aurelia to the list, but since BL3 Aurelia is a knock-off to me, I think that maybe she's just like that. An Ice Queen but that deep down cares so I'm not sure about putting her in the aspec list. Maybe she could be in the gray/demi area for the aro, like she needs to know you well to care about you and have any resemblance of feelings. Or something like that.

Talking about TPS dudes, the big boi Wilhelm feels like too much focused on cyber implants, fights, killing and money to care about anything else. I'd slap him an aro+ace sticker on his shiny new cybernetic and send him home. Dude likes steak, robots, likes killing people and wanted to become a robot, so let's let him have those.

Aaaaaand that's what I was able to think right now. If other aspec headcanons will pop in my head, I'll edit this! Thank you for the ask! :D

[spellshite]

top five video game franchises!

OH MAN- This sounds kinda hard, okay lemme try.

1) Pokémon - mostly for nostalgia reasons, I mainly played with them almost all my life lol I stopped when they started making games for the Switch and I didn't have (nor wanted to spend) money for the console. Last game gotten, Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. Yes, both. Because back then brainrot was so strong that I wanted to find and have ALL the Pokémon games.

2) Borderlands - I discovered 'em back in the really recent 2019 when I found a trailer for BL3 AND OH BOY. Now these games took the wheel of my brainrot and I think that since 2019 Borderlands is my personality. I'm sorry.

3) Tekken - Another game I played since my childhood~

4) Dark Souls - only because it made me spend many evenings laughing over the shitty glitches and dumb deaths with my childhood friend. [points down and moves shield]

5) God of War - Pretty cool games and gameplay... even if I only played the first two games, the only ones available on the PS2 and never completed the second because it bugged hard on me and I was too lazy to restart it since I was pretty far in the story. And instead of a PS3 I got myself a X360 and no God of War on there 😔.

Bonus: Super Mario - but the Yoshi's Island games (the one for GBA and the one for DS)

[spellshite]

You got a side blog? Or are you referring to what you have on ao3? I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, I'm a little slow.

Oh! Probably I wrote it weirdly, it’s kinda late here (like 1am? geez i have to learn to go to sleep at a reasonable hour!) and brain doesn’t English very much LOL

Anyway, last summer I started my first borderlands fic and I made a sideblog (this -> jtwlostechologs) to spam all the ocs and drabbles I wrote for it and around december I posted a couple of things on my ao3 (it’s in my works/series, under the pseud “jtwlostechologs”). But I reached the burnout point, couldn’t write anymore for that and after some other time I also started hating some stuff I wrote for characters & the story, I decided to abandon it completely.

[spellshite]

Sorry, me again, but top 5 bad jokes/puns?

Lemme think...

1 - dad jokes in general bc I don't hear them often in Italian so I find funny even a simple "I'm hungry / Hello hungry, I'm dad"

2 - look at this 👌🏻 GOTCHA

3 - puns in general? the worst, the better.

4 - the old but gold joke of replying with "these nuts/this dick" when someone says "who?"

5 - "that's what she said"

[spellshite]

Top 5 animals from movie or tv :)

1 - Inspector Rex! I grew up watching that series and Rex is a very good boi

2 - Dog, the basset-hound of detective Columbo. Love that lazy dog (also it’s another series I grew up with)

3 - Those very good bois from that movie about sled dogs that had been left behind when a storm came up but i don’t remember the title but that movie killed my feelings.

4 - the T-Rex from the Jurassic Park movies!

5 - Vera the elephant from “Larger than Life”

Bonus - not an animal but a plant: Audrey from The Little Shop of Horrors

(I tried to keep the list varied bc otherwise I’d end up listing a lot of good doggos I remember from movies and series LOL)

[spellshite]

Top 5 natural satellites.

Uhmm...

1 - Charon: Pluto’s moon bc it’s almost big as Pluto and they could also be considered a sort of binary system because its gravitational pull moved the baricenter of the system outside Pluto...a bit similar to what happens with binary star sistems.

2 - The couple of co-orbital moons Janus&Epimetheus: They are Saturn’s moons that share their orbit with each other. Literally. Like 3/4 is Epimetheus’ orbit, the remaining 1/4 is Janus’ orbit.

3 - Enceladus: that guy has so much ice on it that is the only natural satellite in our Solar System that has an albedo of 0.99 and it’s like maximum reflection!

4 - Titan: second largest natural satellite in the Solar System, and it’s also lager than Mercury! Is theorized that on the surface there could be lakes or oceans made of methane or other hydrocarbon.

5 - Io: over 400 active volcanoes on this moon! Io is the most geologically active object in our star system!

BONUS - Hyperion: a moon of Saturn of irregular shape that has a really chaotic orbit with its axis changing so often that its position in space is unpredictable.

[spellshite]

Top 5 potatoes.

Gosh, I wish I remembered the names of the types of potatoes planted by my father in these years... I could have made a nice rating.

I guess I’ll have to resort to a top 5 of potato chips lol

1 - those bacon&cheddar that I found some time ago at McDonalds. Perfect when you have the munchies after not having touched food since 6am but you’ll need another hour or two to get home and by then it will be way too late to have a proper lunch.

2 - Paprika or chili pepper flavoured chips, love the spicy

3 - Cheese flavoured chips, a classic

4 - Onion and sour cream chips, some brands are good other leave a weird taste after a handful of them.

5 - Plain potato chips. Or (but they aren’t potatoes bc they are made with corn) the tortilla chips.

Bonus: rated -100 those wasabi-flavoured potato chips I tried some time ago.

[spellshite]

Top 5 songs my dude

Top 5 songs, ah? [checks Spotify] [checks iTunes Library] hm... can't really choose... What about the latest "I'll listen to these until I'll hate them" top 5 songs?

1) Mr. Doctor Man - Palaye Royale

2) Choke - IDKHOW

3) Montero (CMBYN) - Lil Nas X

4) Pathetic - Blame Candy

5) Thank You for the Venom - My Chemical Romance